Misguided Pharaoh

While discovering life, I'm hoping to heal my soul. Cliché as it may be... I'm on a journey of self discovery. Welcome to my collection of embers, eventually it'll spark into a flame xD

[fictionalcharactermbti]

In Depth Profiles: Rapunzel ENFP | Esmeralda ISFP | Mulan ISTP | Belle INTJ

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

I can't even.

[purplebuddhaproject]

https://www.instagram.com/pbuddhaproject/

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

This isn't said enough, in my opinion.

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Being smart enough to realise you’re not as smart as you want to be is one of the worst feelings

[myintention-s]

Someone who has been emotionally abused will:

• Constantly apologize • Hide their feelings in fear of upsetting you • Break down during small disagreements thinking it will explode • Need a lot of reassurance Please be patient, we are trying.

[loveropes]

Or they may be

•irrationally defensive

•shut down in mid conversation when you thought everything was going well

•become aloof and distant

We all react differently and cope in our own way.

You never know what someone has been through, be patient with each other.

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

The PotterMuse asks

“It’s seems like it was just yesterday when your mother and father were here, buying their first wands.”

Implication: Their ‘first’ wands. Were there others?

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

Thank you Universe

But didn't you know? I am here and there, And everywhere. I am, the whispers in the wind playing with your hair. I am, the chill in the cool night air. I am everywhere, and nowhere all at once. So, thank you Universe, For you are magic and art, and mystery intertwined. And only sometimes, Do I forget that you too, are beautiful.

[sonnetcandotheartthing]

I need your help...

Hi, so some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been posting any art for a few months now. That is because my iPad is broken and I can’t afford to get a new one. I have a job, but they are underpaying me and my schedule is usually only one or two day work weeks, each day is only a three hour shift. I tried and tried to get more hours but they’re just brushing it off. My coworkers aren’t making it any easier. It has been very difficult to find a second job, and I know it will be even more difficult if I quit my current job. I also live in a psychologically and emotionally manipulative/abusive household.

I hate to ask, I really do because I know there are more troubling issues, but no one in my family is helping me and I am desperate to create.

I need donations for a new tablet. Drawing is the only thing keeping me going. I’m starting to get suicidal thoughts again, and more irritable, and more miserable. Drawing is my therapy, since my family refuses to let me see a therapist.

They mock my depression and deny it even exists, though it is very, very apparent that it is a real illness that effects me and and my life. Anytime I would see a councilor in grade school they would always recommend therapy or meds, but I had to explain why I couldn’t talk about it: my family’s gaslighting and denial of it all.

I know that I could draw in sketchbooks, but for me it’s not the same. My family goes through them and my journals regularly, looking for material to use against me. it has stumbled my progression as an artist. I’m becoming afraid to create again..

If I raise enough money to get the tablet, I can finally be able to start commissions to move out of my abusive house and get the help I need. I can interact with people online more, and express myself more freely as opposed to using sketchbooks. That will build a portfolio making it easier for me to get a second/new job.

If you can, please go to my main blog and click the donate button to my paypal. (I made the account a while back and can’t change the name.) I’m not asking for a small loan of a million dollars, I’m just asking for help…reblogs help a ton if you’re not able to donate.

thank you for reading. sorry this is a long post.

[queenofhearts579]

Update #1: Thank you so much for the $60! But I still have a long way to go. Thank you so much to those who have donated, it means a lot to me. Please continue reblogging and donating…..I’m still stuck in my situation and I really need the help. My abusers are flying to where I live to stay with the rest of my toxic family and I’m legitimately terrified. The faster I get to my goal, the better. My goal is $500-$700 maximum, $400-$600 minimum. I know that sounds lofty, I apologize, but it was the least expensive, used option I found.

There should be a large yellow donation button on the top right corner of my blog (desktop).

(I unfortunately haven’t found a way for mobile users to donate directly from tumblr, any tips would be greatly appreciated.)

((Although I do have a redbubble, there’s not much on it and it’s my older art but anything is appreciated. You can get mugs and posters and keychains, etc.)))

Thank you again and please continue to reblog, donate and signal boost!

[queenofhearts579]

Update #2:

Happy 2017…? Well the good news is that someone was generous enough to donate $50!

So the total, (factoring in the percentage PayPal takes away), is $122! We’re almost at the halfway point! Thank you all so much to those donated and reblogged this post. It means a lot.

At first I was nervous, bc I didn’t think anyone actually cared, but I see that’s not the case. I’m lucky enough to have this website to myself at night, when my abusers are sleeping and are too bothered to check up on me, and very lucky that there’s still some good people out there willing to help me.

I hope this thread of positivity continues until I reach my goal!

Any and everything is appreciated, refer to the links above

[queenofhearts579]

Update#3:

(Someone donated $20, which adds to $141! $10 closer to the halfway point! Thank you so much!! ;u;)

Not sure if you guys saw a post I made a few days ago, but basically, no matter how dangerous it may be for me, I decided to start drawing in my sketchbook again, late a night, and then hide the book in my old laundry bin during the day. They don’t know it’s there bc, who looks through people’s laundry right? Sounds bizarre but under the pillow isn’t an option anymore. I’m also unemployed.

I don’t think I can waste away being scared to do what I’ve always loved to do, but there’s new problem;

I found out that they have keys to my room and they can lock me in/out, or if my door’s locked obviously they can enter without warning, whenever they want.

Awesome.

So now when I draw something at night, I take a picture of it, and then rip the original sketch into pieces and throw it away.

A compromise. They do go through my phone, but I’ll figure something out… I’m still at a pretty bad spot mentally. Lately I’ve been enduring a ton of emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and gaslighting, as well as religious abuse, more than usual. I don’t know why. It’s been hitting really, really hard.

I know this sounds like begging, but please…I haven’t felt this low in a long time. I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall here. We’re so close to the halfway point, and I’m not trying to sound pushy, but I’ve seen popular tumblrs with wishlists and posts asking for concert tickets that get notes/donations like its nothing….I just feel like mental health, when it comes to the wallet is overlooked…again I don’t mean to offend but it’s getting worse on my end. I can’t “just get a job and move out”, or “just see a therapist” for the above reasons or else I wouldn’t be making this post.

I wish it was that easy. That’s why I’m asking for your continued support…The faster I get to my goal, the better. My goal is $400-$600 minimum, $500-$700 maximum.

Thanks for reading

My redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/sonnetartthings/portfolio

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

Just women?

Me: Why can't we have a world full of just women? A friend: because then all we would do is fight with each other. ...So, the women of the world keep the men around so they'd have someone else to argue with besides each other?

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

On Negative Vibes...

When you really don't want to send that negativity out there- karma *will* come back and bite you... But you really hate that bitch anyways.

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

On adaptability...

So, if adaptability is your strength, does that mean that because you're adaptable you'll never try to better you situation? I mean, you'll just adapt to it, right? ...but why tho? @just-shower-thoughts

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

On pedestals...

Suddenly, he didn't seem quite so tall anymore. I finally stood up for myself and finally, I felt human again. Finally, I placed value on myself, I kicked him off, and put myself on it. Finally, I put myself on that pedestal because damnit, I deserve to be there and it was time I did something about it.

[sugarsweet-deactivated20190419]

Make 2017 the year we stop demanding that trauma survivors disclose their entire Tragic Backstory for others to decide whether or not their fears, triggers, and boundaries are valid.

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

PREACH!!

[wordsnquotes]

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

William Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well. (via wordsnquotes)

Amen. Now if only people would stop-

[tnbtheories]

Knowledge is key.

[feel-better-yoga]

In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit. :::Anne Frank::: Photo by https://www.instagram.com/wakingcrow/ Edit by @https://www.instagram.com/dovedahlia/

[thepowerwithin]

Instagram | ThePowerWithin.Co

[misguidedpharaoh-blog]

I am... and I’ll never change

I am someone’s daughter. I am someone’s sister. I am someone’s pseudo-mother. I am someone’s cousin. I am someone’s friend. I am someone’s protector. I am someone’s only line of defense. I am someone’s confidante. I am someone’s first love. I am someone’s greatest mistake, And I am someone’s greatest joy. I am someone’s source of laughter, As well as someone’s source of pain. I am someone’s heart, Just as I am someone’s betrayal.

I have known loss. I have known pain. I have known sorrow. I have known shame. I have known betrayal. Yet I have also known joy, however fleeting. I have known satisfaction. I have known determination. I have known the deep-seated desire to be right. I have known perseverance. I have known patience. I have known kindness, when it was not deserved. I have known anger. And I have known strength.

I would not change anything for the world, and I would do it all over again, because it has made me who I am, therefore, despite it all, I am not ashamed.

This is me.

Who are you?

-Misguided Pharaoh