Swooning bees besotted with flowers

Be the person you want to be tagged as in tag yourself memes

[depsidase]

[ratbastarddotfuck]

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

[ot3]

its awesome that neither mind reading nor god are real and all of the thoughts inside of your head are completely private and consequenceless forever #myprivacy

[vinceaddams]

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

[tall]

[sawed-on-shotgun]

hello my name is Stray Hair snd my big dream is to play the itsy bitsy spider on broadway. doyou mind if i practice on the side of your head.

[yaoiblackmold]

Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible

Pronouns

An accent

Bias

[kushblazer666]

[oneheadtoanother]

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[lakevida]

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

[hikikomoricomplex]

i just don’t feel like we as a society ever fully processed deedee megadoodoo

[offshoreoilrig]

istheveilbetweenworldsthinrightnow.com

Veil status: normal

Tomorrow's veil: normal to thick

Download the app for convenient, ad-free updates on the invisible barrier separating the material realm from the astral plane

[mmilhouse]

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

[cognitohazardous]

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

[liittlecreatures1985]

out and about and my phone is at 15% battery: better not use it so it doesn’t die on me

5 minutes later: googling average gas mileage in 1950