Watch me be awkward

my 3 am reblogs say more about me than any tumblr description can 👌

[fairycosmos]

you couldnt imagine what it was like to be 10 years old and listen to radioactive by imagine dragons

[fairycosmos]

its … it’s almost like it was enough to make your systems blow

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gentle reminder that if u feel hungry soon after eating, it might be bc you’re eating mostly carbs without adding enough protein. try eating a handful of nuts or smthing alongside your next meal.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and you don’t have to change the recipe or anything! you can eat what you were going to, just add some cheese cubes or a handful of nuts or salami slices on the side. u don’t have to change your meals, just add a little extra protein

[kreature-ofthenight]

thats nice but what do I need to do If I wake up around 3 am every other night with an unquenchable hunger for flesh even tho I ate normal balanced meals trough the day?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

spoonful of peanut butter

[trustworthymedicaladvice]

another way to manage the undying hunger for flesh is to eat 15-20 live crickets. their souls are weaker than most other animals that size but they are easy to get a hold of and have the best flavor

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this checks out!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

a few people have commented that sometimes heartburn gets mistaken for hunger. I’d never heard that before. If you regularly feel hungry after eating certain types of foods (and adding protein/fat doesn’t help) maybe try chewing an antacid. the digestive tract is dark sorcery basically. an ancient worm coiled in your body whose impish mischief u must appease

[dragon-in-a-fez]

why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree

[myrinthinks]

[dramatic-dolphin]

"you don't get it, the usa is a fascist country full of government propaganda, and our rights as women and queer people are constantly attacked!! you have no idea what that's like!!" i'm hungarian 👍

[dramatic-dolphin]

the brave oppressed american says under a post literally written by people from other countries. you don't have access to it? you don't have access to the information by the foreigners you're currently whining about because they're being too mean to you? on the world wide web?

[dramatic-dolphin]

you're not going to get put on a list and disappeared for the crime of knowing mexico has cities. like get some fucking perspective.

[lydiardbell]

[loganthrives]

Getting informed or staying informed is a conscious choice, and I don't think many people in North America (including mainly Canada in this since I live there) understand that.

In school we were spoon fed specific, curated information to make us think a certain way, and to venture outside of that narrow government approved box can be scary and weird, but rewarding. And then you'll stop making stupid excuses for not knowing shit about the rest of the world around you.

[timeclonemike]

"The United States Educational System is a propaganda machine first and a childhood trauma factory second, with learning useful information being a distant third if it comes up at all" and "For each thing 'everyone knows' by the time they are adults, every day there are, on average, ten thousand people in the US hearing about it for the first time" can both be true at the same time.

Signed, an American who knows that the schools and news channels are lying through their teeth via omission and manipulation as well as outright falsehood, but is too busy trying to STAY ALIVE to go on Wikipedia to double check literally every single topic that comes up in conversation.

[dramatic-dolphin]

what i want you to understand is that this is true of most other countries' education systems too. we do not have the mythical good education system that teaches only the objective facts and imparts knowledge. again, i'm hungarian; our education system is chronically underfunded and loves propaganda. literally all news channels here are state-controlled propaganda, and i am not exaggerating. there are no opposition news on the tv, we have to get it online.

my problem is not really with the ignorance, i'm aware that no one is born with this knowledge. what i want is for americans to stop excusing their ignorance with justifications about these exclusively american problems that we can't possibly understand. because we do, and it's just more annoying american exceptionalism.

[dramatic-dolphin]

"you don't get it, the usa is a fascist country full of government propaganda, and our rights as women and queer people are constantly attacked!! you have no idea what that's like!!" i'm hungarian 👍

[dramatic-dolphin]

also full offense but foreigners don't have to accept your glaring ignorance with grace because "oh look poor widdle american has frankly racist and xenophobic assumptions about the rest of the world, but it's not their fault because it's a systemic failure". idgaf. i's insulting that you think that and we are not required to be nice in response. because it's insulting and offensive.

[tilthat]

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

[beggars-opera]

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

[ti-bae-rius]

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

[ti-bae-rius]

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

[labelma]

“I asked chatGPT” oh okay, well I asked Grand Admiral Thrawn and he said perhaps

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggeratedly at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

[antiqueanimals]

"Caribou Details"

Lives of Game Animals, Volume 3. 1927. Written and illustrated by Ernest Thompson Seton.

Internet Archive

[laterkiss]

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[swarnpert]

don’t ever call me op. you will address me by my full name

[darllng]

obert pobert

[ravioliet]

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

HATE when u can feel ur intestines writhing. cease your wriggling insolent belly worm

[skyporf]

WHEN do you ever feel that

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the worms yearn for escape

[leo-forgot-to-create]

The worms are telling you to go see a doctor...

[skyactually]

@entities-of-posts the corruption/flesh?

[purlturtle]

After my hysto, I was in *intense* abdominal pain that didn't feel like wound pain from the ablation but something different that I couldn't explain, until the gynecologist told me "yep, that'd be your intestines rearranging themselves into the gap left behind by your uterus."

So there's a mental picture for you. Slither slither. Slither slither.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

awwww, they were exploring their new enclosure 😍😍😍

[homunculus-argument]

hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water

[homunculus-argument]

my cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly

[catgirlwheels]

...how does it taste?

[homunculus-argument]

bad

[writingtoolofdubiousintegrity]

the fizz comes from carbonic acid in the water splitting up into CO₂ and H₂O over time. And carbonic acid is – as an acid – sour.

By adding milk to sour water you've created a very convincing emulation of spoiled milk, so I'll believe in a heartbeat that the taste is Not Great™.

[homunculus-argument]

I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

[motherfucker-unlimited]

Germans completely outdid the english language by calling tv a farseer. They got their orcish shamans to name that shit

[inoffizielles-deutschland]

[cyrus-thenotsogreat]

people without any whimsy scare me. why are you like that. where are your trinkets.

[bowditch]

remember in a world that tries to make your whimsy cringe, that media still uses domestic environments devoid of interests and trinkets to signal that someone has something wrong with them.

people might mock your whimsy but we still instinctively understand as humans that a life without it, without little interests and things that we just like to have around, feels empty.