aster

got the iliad flavour of autism | professional patroclus glazer | linguistics & quantum mech nerd | sixteen

[mizeries]

shamhat to enkidu:

[wrath-of-achilleus]

Do you ever think about how Achilles probably thought that his role in life was the war and to die in the war?

Do you think on how in the Iliad, Achilles (mostly likely for the first time) chooses to live and how he’s rewarded with the death of Patroclus.

YES I DO. I THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME.

My absolute favourite book of the Iliad is book 9. Because, in it, we explicitly see Achilleus choose nostos over kleos. He says no to Agamemnon's embassy, and he says TO THEIR FACE that he's going to sail home the next day. He's done. Glory isn't worth his life anymore.

For not worth the value of my life are all the possessions they fable were won for Ilion, that strong-founded citadel... (Il. 9.400-402. Trans. by Richmond Lattimore)

If I stay here and fight beside the city of Trojans, my return home is gone, but my glory shall be everlasting; but if I return home to the beloved land of my fathers, the excellence of my glory is gone, but there will be a long life left for me, and my end in death will not come to me quickly. And this would be my counsel to others also, to sail back home again, since no longer shall you find any term set on the sheer city of Ilion... (Il. 9.412-18)

As we can see, he explicitly states the choice that he must make. Everlasting glory, or a long life. And he chooses the latter. He ends the speech by telling them that he's going to sail back home the next day, and Phoinix can join if he wants.

And then, book 16 happens. And Patroklos comes to him weeping. And this is where Achilleus fucks up. Because it's not just sympathy for Patroklos' distress that fuels his decision. It's this temptation for both kleos and nostos, which we have already established he can't have.

But even so, Patroklos, beat the bane aside from our ships; fall upon them with all your strength; let them not with fire's blazing inflame our ships, and take away our desired homecoming. But obey to the end this word I put upon your attention so that you can win, for me, great honor and glory in the sight of all the Danaans, so they will bring back to me the lovely girl, and give me shining gifts in addition. (Il. 16.80-86)

When he sends Patroklos out to fight in his armour, leading his men, in his chariot, he is doing it with the explicit instruction to get honour and glory for Achilleus. He wants the things that he rejected in Book 9, but he also thinks that he will get his 'desired homecoming.' For one shining moment, Achilleus thinks that he can outrun his destiny. He can actually get both.

And then Patroklos dies, and all of a sudden, it becomes terribly clear to him the price that he's paid for this delusion.

It's so heartbreaking, it lives rent-free in my mind all day every day.

[mizeries]

2 days everybody. 🔪🥗

@wooperbooper

[patnchilles]

The headcanon you'll have to pry from my cold dead hands is overachiever Patroclus. He's the only character in the Iliad I can think of that's seen preforming tasks (and doing them WELL) in the three main social spheres of the poem (battlefield, public, intimate spheres).

Battlefield:

- Second highest body count after Achilles

- Repeatedly alluded to as Achilles’s fighting partner (when they were recruited, they were referred to in the dual) aka keeps up with AND complements the strongest Achaean fighter

- Killed a demigod (Sarpedon)

- Throws shade like the best of them

- Loved by and best at controlling Achilles's immortal horses

- Apollo had to physically push him down from the walls of Troy to stop him

Public:

- Mends wounds expertly & keeps the wounded company

- “Equal in counsel to the gods” and “gentle” as epithets

- Shadows Achilles in his meetings

- Trusted messenger

- Has an entire book where men of the Achaean camp risk their lives to retrieve his body

Intimate:

- Cooks well

- Manages Achilles's slaves

- Able to understand Achilles’s orders with just a look

- Listens to him sing & counsels him away from the rest of their comrades (also has lovely eyes and a lovely voice)

- Takes care of his guests

- Able to make Achilles bend with just his tears

Tl;dr: this man does EVERYTHING no wonder Achilles breaks down & stops functioning emotionally and socially the second he’s gone

[katerinaaqu]

Aww they have matching armors! 😭 look at my boys vibe! 🥰🤩😍☺️

Images from this kantharos that I posted recently

[wrath-of-achilleus]

me: why don’t you count ships?

friend with insomnia: ships?

me: no wait, it was a slip of the tongue! I meant sheep!

too late, she starts levitating, her eyes are glowing. she opens her mouth and starts chanting the Catalogue of Ships.

me: dammit, not again

[itsmeimcathy]

March: *starts*

Tumblr:

[mizeries]

what if patroclus had whatsapp 😂

im sure this has been done before but here's my version

[theodysseyofhomer]

feel like pure shit just want him back (he never existed and has been credited with thousands of hours of oral performance composed into epic narrative)

[fullyconsumedbywhatlovesme]

Who’s more annoying:

people who’ve only read retellings and think they know the entire actual stories

or

people who consider any non-Homeric sources ancient fanfiction and say they don’t count when discussing characters or stories

[mizeries]

dressed up as oscar wilde for a school event and made a bold attempt at replicating his witticisms. my life is complete ❤️

[that-faerie-in-the-corner]

No more mommy issues Achilles I have had ENOUGH of the Thetis slander. We need to start giving Achilles a weird complicated emotionally fraught relationship with his father

[ilions-end]

mannnn i'd forgotten how intense patroclus' death segment is. in the past i've mostly revisited his dying speech (so good), but GOD everything that happens before it. it's chilling how direct and invasive apollo's actions are (unparalleled within the iliad), shoving and beating patroclus with his hands. not even a weapon. his hands! euphorbus with the javelin, striking and disappearing again because he knows he daren't face patroclus EVEN when patroclus is naked and isolated on the battlefield and has stab wound between the shoulder blades. THE HELMET??? the gorgeously cinematic description as it tumbles in slow motion from patroclus' head and into the dirt and gore. and hector taunting him about achilles and getting it wrong because hector doesn't know what we know, and it's all so inevitable and bitter and tragic. hi do people know how great the iliad is!!!!

[korrioak]

Some concepts for Patroclus featuring his nine dogs 🐕

[mizeries]

writing a gothic dark fantasy angsty medical noir teen/YA novel with all the queer, racial and disability representation i wish i saw more in media. set in a mythical gloomy town run by a demon corporation. inspired by gothic literature, high fantasy, the iliad, the penumbra podcast, welcome to night vale, hello from the hallowoods, the vampire chronicles and more.

angels and demons, tragic yearning, found family, trauma and healing, emotional intimacy, hurt/comfort, grumpy x sunshine, doomed yaoi and yuri and a lot more.

lmk if you're interested!

[spineless-lobster]

I bet achilles is so hyped to know that he’s got a saying AND a tendon named after him

[adrenaline-revolver]

make sure to tell him about the embarrassing ones first to temper his ego when he finds out about the term Achillean being used as the male version of Sapphic, the lizard named after him ( Achilles' anole, hes got little things on his ankles), and 588 Achilles the asteroid in a group of Jupiter orbiting asteroids split into the Greek and Trojan camps. Not only does he have a celestial body to his name people have even given it a lil symbol.

Though he might be pissed to find out that 617 Patroclus is listed in the Trojan camp.

[paladingineer]

There is also a dinosaur named after him: Achillobator ("Achilles Warrior" or "Achilles Hero"). It's one of the largest known dromaeosaurs ("raptors").

(Image by PaleoNeolitic from linked Wikipedia page)

[spineless-lobster]

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP THEY GOT ACHILLES DINOSAUR.

[mentally-unstable-bagel]

Haven't stopped thinking about the fact that Patroclus had nine dogs all day. Patroclus setting off for Troy, them following him all the way across the sea. Accompanying him through a decade of battle. Gathering around his body. Watching the flames of his funeral pyre. What did Achilles do with them after Patroclus died? He sacrificed them. Was he kind to them before their deaths? Did they know that their master had died because of him? Did they forgive him? Of course they forgave him. Unconditional loyalty to a person means unconditional loyalty to those they love. Maybe they, too, knew how the story would end before it even began. They followed Patroclus to their inevitability anyways. Maybe they knew that their master's end meant the end for them, too. Or maybe they didn't. Maybe they followed him blindly. Trusted him through their entire lives of unpredictability, he being their only constant. Maybe they accepted it before it even started. Maybe they fought it until the very end. Maybe both.

Patroclus' dogs, man.