[womanfourwoman]

Woody Allen death spell

like to charge

reblog to cast

[extrafabulouscomics]

redraw https://www.patreon.com/ExtraFabulousComics

[greelin]

can you imagine not being human & just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? beautiful? by the water? unburdened? ideal

[amthsts-remade-deactivated20191]

I wanna be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything

[polniaczek]

[clonerightsagenda]

This is the FOURTH time the apartment across the hall has blasted Mr. Brightside. What are they doing

[modernluigi-deactivated20200204]

Just fine.

[severalowls]

The “I probably shouldn’t have clowns” Starter Pack

[severalowls]

Clowns are creatures that need to clown. They were not meant to be domesticated and profited from as pets. They are highly active creatures that will self harm from stress in such confined spaces. Circus Clowns are delightful to keep in groups, though they are fine on their own, but every 1 clown adds 30 square feet to the space needed. They need multiple props and performance areas in order to replicate their natural environment. These are examples of proper Circus Clown or other basic clown enclosures.

Candee Fluff is a horrible brand of cotton candy, I used to feed it to my clowns and they would just throw it back up. The sugar is all unprocessed, when clowns need highly refined white sugar, just because it’s cheaper. Which is something they don’t list on the packaging to fool clown owners. Ideally you should only feed your clown freshly whipped cotton candy. Large mixers may be expensive but a simple childrens make-your-own candy floss machine will suffice if your budget is tight.

Clowns shouldn’t be confined to a car. (Especially a childrens car..?) Clowns are curious creatures that need to jump, tumble, honk and play to be healthy. Keeping them locked in a car 24/7 as a toy for your kids will stress them out in much the same way as a hamster in a ball. Clowns do enjoy having access to a clown car, especially in groups, but their car should provide 1 square foot per clown and their enjoyment comes primarily from exiting the vehicle in large numbers. Keeping them locked inside can reduce their lifespan by up to 10 years. A small human-sized compact car may be suitable for larger groups of clowns.

I’m cringing at that rainbow collection of “my mommy got me a cute clown” balloon sticks. These are creatures that need to run around with helium balloons. They need to bounce and float away when released. Air-filled balloons on sticks are not a suitable replacement. This is the proper set up for a clown or more modern jesters.

Clowns get stressed from any foot confinement under size 16. Clown shoes are the worst item for being sold to kids as “accessories” in human foot sizes. When kept like that the clown will die a horribly stressed life within a year when they can live for 60 or more. They need colourful shoes or boots with plenty of toe-space and loud squeakers. Clowns are so intelligent that they actually play with you, and they need podiatric stimulation to live healthy. These are proper clown shoes.

Never change the natural markings of a clown. This should go without saying, but I see people buying halloween store ‘clown makeup’ and attempting to alter their clown’s faces. Clowns use their facial markings to identify one another, and altering it may cause stress, and even endager the clown if you keep several in the same tent.

Who the fuck would even feed an omnivorous clown pellet food…? Do they want a sick clown? If clown stores even bothered to care about the keeping of clowns, they would know that shit is bad for them. If you can’t feed fresh peanuts and hot dogs then you shouldn’t own a clown in the first place. Pellet food isn’t even real food, it’s chemically made with preservatives.

[brucebocchi]

hey quick question what the fuck

[funnyordie]

OK, this is just way too far.

READ – Executive Overreach: Trump Endorsed A 6th Grade Bully In Minnetonka, Minnesota For School President

[monzo12782]

If Asgardians speak English but originate from Scandinavian folklore, then by all rights shouldn’t Thor, Loki, and company sound like they’re from Minnesota?

[atopfourthwall]

Oh, ya, m'name’s Loki, and I am burdened with glorious purpose, doncha know.

[sinfullvibes]

half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

[humansofnewyork]

“I’m afraid I’ll live a useless life and nobody will remember me. I don’t feel a strong interest toward anything. If I do, it’s just a momentary thing, and then I drop it. I tried acting. I tried swimming. I tried dancing. But I got bored with all of it. If I don’t choose something soon then I’ll leave nothing behind. We only have a certain amount of energy in life. If you don’t put it somewhere then it’s wasted. I feel like one of the little yellow minions from that movie. They get sad if they don’t have a villain to serve. When I have a goal, and I’m moving toward it, and I reach it, then I feel a little relief. That’s what life is to me. A series of goals that you move toward. I don’t think it’s possible to just become happy. Life’s not that easy. But if you keep moving, you can forget that you’re sad.” (Moscow, Russia)

[wenchyfloozymoo]

[jamesrhodey-deactivated20171030]

Oh, but after everything you’ve done, I can thank you for how strong I have become.

[vampiresquidss-deactivated20180]

“you ever seen a guy suck his own dick?”

no but i’ve read “on the road” and that’s pretty much the same thing. 

[soothseay-deactivated20201009]

-chokes-

[testmeyouwillfail]

[zombeesknees]

#where is john cho’s romcom?  #where is john cho’s leading man feature film?

[euo]

How has nobody settled for me yet I’m a solid 3

[theonion]

Depressed Crab Stays Buried Under Sand Until 2 P.M.