Welcome to fuck

[mortuary9]

[maxbytes]

if tumblr was an online game i’d run my character up to your character and spam the jump button and do backflips and frontflips over your character’s head to show you i’m excited to see you on the dash

[dogpuppy]

[liquidpaperfoundation1]

My Very Punctual Wife Gets My Night Worm can also be used to remember the order of the planets in the solar system!

[cryptid-on-a-string]

Mercury Venus Pearth Wars Goopiter Maturn Nuranus Weptune

[thatguyvitor]

She maturn on my pearth til I goopiter

[crimsonflowerz]

my angel wings just burst from my back in public and sprayed blood everywhere and a small child called me a homosexual

[real-kit-walker]

[boybeetles]

Someone in Glasgow please go see this for me pls. I will be there in spirit 🙏

[tinyglowingsharks]

Brief report from the flute accompaniment:

It went well! At least 100 people attended, families dogs a solid portion of Glasgow's trans community. There was a really lovely atmosphere, nice weather and a very cheerful celebratory vibe.

After short speeches from the ballhaver and the large dyke (my wife), the ballhaver was given a chupa chup and blindfolded (execution style). The balls were then duly kicked; it made a surprisingly loud dull thumping sound. She fell to the ground to loud cheers and there was a moment of silence while Taps played on the flute. The large dyke wore solovair urban hikers.

[butch-bear-arcadia]

Account from the Large Dyke.

Arrived early to find the crowd already gathering, so the kick got off to a prompt start. Following some introductions from everybody and some cheery folk music from our flautist (my wife!) we got on with the kick.

I think we got good contact, the top of my boot making a good solid noise on impact. Very good atmosphere all round, people stayed to chat for a while. Were it not January it would have been an excellent opportunity for a picnic.

10/10 queer event, would happily kick anybody in the balls in the name of community.

[noisepuppy]

Account from the ball haver

7am: the pressure is getting to me; I wake up and drink half a bottle of diet iron bru from my bedside table; roll out of bed, and psych myself up in the mirror - "you can do this my little pogchamp" I say to myself over and over until I decend into a stupor.

8am: I play an hour of Okami on steam to replenish my chi levels

9am: I look at my balls for a while

10am: I spend 20 or so minutes trying to decide what to wear before realising it's the subartic in midwinter and I'm going to have to dress for -2C° regardless of what I choose and opt of my trusty black Schott thermal padded winter flight jacket and a pair of loose, warm Uniqlo trousers to give my testicles room to breathe.

11am: crashing out, texting my friends to arange a substitute kickee, an understudy, anybody so I can just become one with the crowd and not go through with it

12am: the homies have arrived, I'm drinking redbush tea in a small cafe by the park; god is in his heaven and all is right with the world

12.15: "you must be here to watch me get kicked in the balls?"

12.40: a circle emerges, from within the circle a palpable energy focuses like a lens down unto me and I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants a little

12.50: cheers begin, several complete families with dogs arrive - more friends appear and assort themselves into a gathering of 'real heads' ready to watch my groin be dessicated by the firm lace of a women for woman woman with a foot loosed through the gates of war as Augustus saw fit the dispatch and return of his troops from far corners through the blessings of Janus.

12.55: I think I left the stove on

1pm: Short introductions are made, grace is shown, beautiful flute music accompanies the gathering

1.03pm: what is left of my dignity disappears up my inguinal canal; I fall to the ground and languish a moment. I can feel it more in my lower chest than I can in my groin but the humour and adrenaline lift me and I'm laughing on my feet again soon. I kneel for the last post.

[kitschyfemme]

having collaborative ocs with friends will have you saying shit like "what if scimble was bumpus wouldnt that be funny" and then like two weeks later its one of the most important pieces of lore you have

[clockworkrobotic]

listen man I think people outside of the usa should be able to talk about problems with their healthcare systems without usamericans chiming in on it. "we have the same problems AND we have to pay for them" bestie theres a gender clinic in scotland with a two hundred year wait list

[clockworkrobotic]

This is not a joke btw the glasgow gender clinic's waitlist is 224 years

[clockworkrobotic]

[sashthesloth]

I love the little squad of shades who follow Mel around the Crossroads when she gets back from a win

[raspberryjamnnn]

why is there a ps1 horror asset in my fridge

[nachosforfree]

For me, censorship laws are a lot like the death penalty. There are people I wish would die, but I don't want the government to have any say over who lives or dies (because then they can stretch laws out to justify killing someone they dont like). There are stories that I think are reprehensible and should have never been written, but I don't want the government to have any say over which stories are reprehensible (because then they can stretch out what they deem wrong out to fit anything they don't like)

[hiltontower]

[fucktoyfelix]

Lines of thought that seem Normal but are actually rooted in extreme puritanism:

-Seeing the nude human body is inherently traumatic -Sex scenes in art are pointless -Wearing kink-related clothing in public is the similar to performing a sex scene in front of unwilling participants -Depicting female characters expressing sexuality is always degrading -People's sexual fantasies are always an endorsement of the behavior they want to see in real life -Sex work is more traumatic and coercive than other types of work The goal is to treat sex as just another thing people do. That is a much healthier attitude than hiding it! It's not uniquely traumatic, it's not weird to talk about it or include it in society.

[jakeperalta]

if you were getting married, would you change your surname?

yes

maybe, it depends whose surname is cooler

I'd double barrel/combine our surnames

no

no and I'd want/expect my partner to take my name

Voting ended onJun 20, 2025

[annabelle--cane]

it's okay, ulysses ogre. you can back up and try dubliners, it's a short story collection with much more straightforward prose, you can dive deep on one piece at a time, and once you've toyed around with that then I'm sure you'll have an easier time with ulysses. besides, I had an irish lit professor who'd been studying finnegans wake for twenty years and she said she still didn't really know what was going on in it. ulysses ogre, what really matters is if you are enjoying your time with literature and feel like you are gaining something, not whether you reach the "correct" conclusions. there's no need to try and force yourself through something if you feel like you aren't on an even enough plane with the text to reap any of its rewards.

[footlongdingledong]

their polyamorous swag

[cant-think-of-a-good-one]

ah fuck im imagining it

[cant-think-of-a-good-one]

sorry

[vodam46]

why are the windows 7 minimise maximise and close buttons fucking on my dash

[apolladay]

Oh no, you got isekaied into the last media you read/watch. You are now a background character dead center in the plot. Are you surviving.

Yes

No

Oh no, you got isekaied into the last media you read/watch. You are now a background character dead center in the plot. Are you surviving.

yes

no

Voting ended onJun 14, 2025

[miss-wizard]

exits wigan and the pey wet turns to ash in my mouth