dylanroyalwildlife
Who’s watching who?
this is the most terrifying picture of a giraffe i have ever seen
imagine not knowing what a giraffe was and seeing this

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@monsterhase
dylanroyalwildlife
Who’s watching who?
this is the most terrifying picture of a giraffe i have ever seen
imagine not knowing what a giraffe was and seeing this
i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me
This is the america they don’t want you to see
i love america
This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry
*group of people having fun* this site: wtf this is so scary
People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say.
Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:
Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered.
Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced.
The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”
Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House”
The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone)
It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”
We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open?
that last bit isn’t a joke
Hay que ahorrar espacio
Item: various furniture designed using Cybertronian technology
Every time I close my eyes I see this one cat that won second place in the Cat Fancier's Association kitten category
Good Lird.....
I know this post has made the rounds already but the comments are part of the true experience of it
You know those anime meta posts along the lines of “I was born with pink hair. The doctors told my parents I was a Main Character and ever since my life has not known peace from demons/spirits/sports competitions/harems who find me”
Well I see that, and I raise you this:
An anime boy whose appearance is, by absolutely anyone’s account, completely and utterly average. Mundane hair. Mundane eyes. Not even glasses to set him the tiniest bit apart. A simple, unmemorable, unrecognizable civilian among a backdrop of millions.
And he has a lot of passions, and a lot of ambitions, which he hones every chance he gets. He’s dabbled in sports and archery and cooking and just about anything you could wrap a competition around. And he’s competed in many of these. Every chance he gets. With all of his passion and all of his might.
He’s crushed by the competition every single time.
Until one day–one day something clicks for him. Something that should have seemed obvious from the start and yet never was–as though everyone, including himself, was unwittingly blind to it. It clicks, when he realizes every kid who’s beaten him in competition, every kid who’s gone on to fame and glory and acclaim, has been some candy-haired gel-spiked ridiculously-dressed fucker.
There’s some trend there that this Main Character boy can’t explain and can’t understand but he decides, this one time, fuck it. He’ll play along too. He’s got a model train competition in four days, and he’s got nothing more to lose. He hits up the department store, buys the pinkest, noxious-est, fruitiest hair dye he can find, the spikiest hair gel available, and the gaudiest clothes on the thrift rack. He enters the model train competition looking like a bubble gum gijinka.
And he wins.
Suddenly, the other candy-haired contestants notice him. They talk to him. They pledge rivalries. Girls notice him. Judges applaud him. Acclaimed model train aficionados offer him internships across the world. He’s hit on something.
The main cast expands to cover just about every candy-hair cliche in the book: from the mostly-normal-looking demure school girl with the blue hair to the Naruto-est, yelling-est boy with the red-and-green spiked hair. The cool megane senpais, the purple haired tsunderes, suddenly everyone is interested in him. They’re prodigies and upstarts and underdogs and they truly believe that this main character boy is one of them.
So the main character boy maintains his ruse. He touches up his roots at dawn every morning and carefully attends to his gelled spikes and tells absolutely no one about this great, uncanny, unfathomable secret he’s stumbled upon. He wins his competitions left and right. He racks up the acclaim. He’s hailed as a prodigy of all trades, just now bursting onto the scene, and boils to the top of all his candy-haired peers.
He’s rising up, his every dream within his grasp. Until one day he gets a note under his door, taped to an old picture of his Normal Boring self from middle school, that says “You don’t belong”
There’s an international competition, and Main Character-kun and all his candy-haired rivals/peers/nakama/friends are being housed in the same hotel.
The night before the competition, some ungodly scream sounds from the Naruto-kid’s room. The rest of the cast rush in, flick on the lights, and find Naruto-kid sitting up in bed, his hair completely flat and utterly black, a pair of DIY salon gloves discarded next to his bed. He races to the mirror across the room, hands hovering in shock around his straightened hair, as though unable to recognize the boy staring back at him.
It’s… an unsettling act of personal vandalism, but Naruto-kid seems unhurt. After verifying he’s okay and reporting it to hotel security, most of the kids are content to go back to their own rooms and just double-check their own locks.
Most seem content…. Not all…
The next day, Naruto-kid is eliminated from the competition nigh-instantly. He’s given no chance to monologue about his ambitions, his friends, his hometown. Not even a second spared for a flashback to the bullying that became the formative motivator of his childhood.
No. He’s summarily eliminated by another candy-haired contestant. Naruto-kid, with his suddenly unassuming black hair, is dismissed from the arena. And Main Character-kun is distressed.
There’s a murderer on the loose. Just in no traditional sense. Another kid is shaved bald in the middle of the night, and eliminated from the competition the next day. Colored contact lenses go missing, and suddenly the red-eyed yandere girl doesn’t have a leg to stand on. She’s sent home without the slightest bit of fanfare. Someone funnels bleach into the sprinkler line, and a triggering of the fire alarm leaves a whole arena of contestants doused in the ruinous fluid. Their candy colors melt into brittle, tacky, bleachy off-orange. Not a single one survives that night’s round of eliminations.
Main Character-kun is still pink. He’s still gelled. He’s still dressed in fiery robes and platform sandals with a bandana cinched around his forehead. He hoards hair dye in his room and sleeps with one eye open. He can only watch in silence as this gruesome assassination plot unravels, without a doubt in his mind that he is the real target.
One night, there’s a knock on his door. And the twisting of a key. And the squeak of hinges swinging open. Main Character-boy’s breathing halts. His time has come.
He looks. It’s the blue-haired girl, the quiet one with self-confidence issues. Her hair is tied into twin pigtails. She’s carrying something in her right hand. Main Character boy braces for impact.
She flicks on the lights. He looks. They’re wigs, in her hand. Three of them. Purple Green and Orange, each primmed and poofed and curled to extravagant degrees.
“Here,” she offers, hand extended. “Take whichever you like. They’re extra.”
“Wait. Why…? What’s this–what’s happening?”
She takes a step forward, and she shuts the door behind her. With her free hand, she grips the blue hairline at her scalp, and she pulls back gently, revealing netting. She drops the blue hair to the ground, and pulls the netting free from her forehead, and a loose, unassuming bob of perfectly black, perfectly normal hair falls around her shoulders.
She’s unassuming in every possible regard, mundane in every sense, a girl to blend into the backdrop of millions.
“We’re not going home yet,” she says. “Not you, and not me.”
chrissy i want you to know im in love with this
The Comb and the Dye are in fact the real anime weapons of this series im so glad they’re wielding them as such
The Main Character girl wraps her hair back up in the netting and fixes her blue wig back in place. She takes a seat in the nearby desk chair and explains why she’s here. She’s suspected for a while that she and MC-kun are the same, both normal-looking people masquerading in this candy haired world. MC-kun had seemed just a bit too distraught during the Naruto-kid incident. That was when Main Character-chan first noticed him, and when she recognized his shade of candy pink hair by its bottle brand.
MC-chan explains that she had lived a very normal and unassuming life. She did Stage Crew in middle school for the drama club, always the unnoticed extra in the background, sweeping in silently, covertly, under darkness to handle the scene changes and wardrobe transformations. She honed her skills making props and costumes for the drama kids, til she was a master of needle and thread, dyes and combs, and props built from paper and plastic.
She thinks it was that attention-to-detail she cultivated in prop-design that let her finally See what MC-kun had seen—the Candy Haired world around her that constantly overshadowed whatever she did.
One day, she put on the wig. And she never looked back.
But she doesn’t know who the hair assassin is either, any more than MC-kun. There’s still strength in numbers. And she figures if they work together, their odds of survival are greater.
MC-kun agrees.
…
The next day is a free day for the kids competing in this International Competition. The morning passes with most of the contestants montaging through a romp in the city, tasting local cuisine and window-shopping around the market area and getting into Kodak-moment worthy shenanigans.
MC-kun and MC-chan steal away to a quiet park, sitting at a picnic table, putting pink- and blue-heads together to talk through all the info they have, and what options are open to them. They don’t get very far. A glasses-wearing girl appears from behind the bushes and stops them cold.
Glasses Girl is small and wiry, mousy in her frame. She has orange hair that poofs around her head, cropped at chin level, in a way that reminds MC-kun vaguely of a roosting chicken. Her glasses are enormous on her freckled face, and they capture the light, obscuring her eyes behind their glare.
“You two… you’re fakes, aren’t you? Both of you.”
MC-kun stops cold. MC-chan spins around in her seat, wide-eyed. “I don’t… I don’t even know what that means! Go away before we—”
Glasses Girl pulls an immaculate, highly stylized laptop from her bag. She flips it open with one hand, propping it on the table and typing furiously, too fast to even see her fingers. Audio begins to play from the laptop speakers.
“We’re not going home yet. Not you, and not me.”
“I hacked into your phone last night,” GG-chan states simply, head tilted toward MC-kun. “I’ve heard the whole conversation.”
“How?!” MC-kun asks. He holds his phone at a distance, like it’s suddenly venomous.
GG-chan shifts. Suddenly the glare of her glasses is no longer obstructing her eyes. Behind the coke-bottle look is an expression of pure brow-knitted confusion. “I don’t…. I don’t actually know. I just could.”
GG-chan was an art student. A not-very-good-at-all art student. And a very-much-below-average competitor in sculpting competitions. She was plain, and unassuming, and inconspicuous, and jealous of the better-established art students around her with their own flashy styles. Her peers wore giant non-prescription glasses; they dyed their hair bright colors and cropped it short to perfect hipster chique.
GG-chan tried to imitate that. But as a truly-not-fantastic artist, she couldn’t even pull that off. She dyed her hair, picked out glasses, overshot “hipster”, and landed firmly in “geek”.
She landed so firmly in “geek” that internationally-acclaimed hacker abilities spawned with her makeover. Suddenly she could break into anything, override anything, hack or fix or erase anything over a permanent wifi connection that followed her as its hotspot.
Her laptop never loses charge. Her bash scripts never fail. Her glasses always glint in the slightest bit of light and slide down her nose so that she has to keep her middle finger pressed firmly to the bridge at all times.
She’s afraid of being sent home in ruin, sent back to her life as a mediocre art student.
GG-chan wants to join the effort to not be eliminated.
…
A day passes. GG-chan has hacked all the email accounts of the registered contestants and has found nothing suspicious. MC-chan has spent her time crafting shorter-cut wigs to give to MC-kun and GG-chan as backups. MC-kun has been trying his best to understand what he’s gotten into. He bought a few extra obnoxious bandanas to bolster his obnoxious outfit, as if that might help.
They’re sitting quietly at lunch, eating in silence, with no new information to share and no desire to attract unwanted attention from the contestants around them.
“Ohhhhh my what is this? Has this pathetic posse of plebeians formed a little club oh how quaint!”
MC-chan chokes on her noodles. GG-chan startles. MC-kun groans.
The voice belongs to a platinum-blond boy, dressed to the nines, who’s sidled up to the table unannounced. He reeks of ambition and money and arrogance and a very particular high-end cologne, and he laughs heartily at his own joke. He flicks a lock of blond hair from his face, which all but sparkles.
MC-kun recognizes this kid. He was one of the first Candy Haired kids to declare an eternal rivalry with him.
“What’s it to you?” MC-kun challenges, already ticked off.
And the Rich Blond Rival Boy deflates. Comically. Pale and hollow-cheeked and exhausted, suddenly leaning against their lunch table, speaking in a rasp. “Please let me join you. I’ve been wearing this Gucci suit for two weeks straight I don’t have any others.”
No one answers immediately. No one has anything resembling an answer.
“Then buy another suit!” MC-kun says.
“Do I look like I’m made of m o n e y to you?!”
“YES.”
“Ah ha! Yes that is the point, well you see–” and RBR-kun pulls out a soggy PB&J from his bag, slumps into an open seat at the table, his eyes dull and matte, solemnly chewing his lunch. “Can one of you spot me like $1.50 for the bus ride to the competition arena tomorrow? I spent the last of my money on this bread.”
MC-kun: “What?”
RBR-kun: “I don’t have money!”
MC-kun: “Why are you ACTING like a rich boy if you DONT HAVE MONEY”
RBR-kun: “LOOK IT JUST KIND OF HAPPENED OKAY.”
MC-kun: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.”
And well, it just kind of happened. Rich Blond Rival Boy is as fake as they come. He grew up in a modest household, making money over the summer by doing yard work for neighbors. He was fairly frugal and quiet and unassuming, until his grandma bought him a nice tux for the school dance, and he dyed his hair platinum blond on a dare, and suddenly the world was in his pocket.
Suddenly he had connections in high places. Suddenly he could have wait staff doting on him at a moment’s notice. Suddenly he could summon helicopters at the snap of his fingers, and have any product imaginable, legal or not, air-lifted to him on a whim. Everyone was his pawn. Everything bent to his will. Ever since then he’s been unstoppable in his ambitions.
He just doesn’t have any of the actual money to maintain this. All his cards are overdrafted. His credit is in the toilet. Several different loan sharks technically own the rights to his immortal soul.
Rich Blond Rival Boy wants in on the League Of Background Characters, because he is utterly afraid of the ruin he faces if he is exposed. If the others get assassinated, they get sent home. If RBR-kun gets assassinated, the debtors will drag him out by his toes.
A scuffle erupts over by the lunch line before anyone can give RBR-kun an answer. It’s over in an instant. A shriek, a clatter, a tray and knife hitting the ground. The biker ruffian boy with the blue mohawk lies on the floor. His shorn-off mohawk spikes lie on the platter, as if being served to the cafeteria at large.
Worried murmurs break out in the crowd.
No one had seen the knife-yielder.
No one had seen anything.
As if the act were committed by someone impossible to even notice.
[chanting]
MORE KIDS MORE KIDS MORE KIDS
LAST PART, CONCLUSION AND ALL, AND IT’S LONG.
And the one thing worth noting: MC-chan is now MG-chan, as in Main Girl-chan, to avoid mixing up her name with MC-kun.
Enjoy.
There’s a sustained hush, like a breath held too long. It’s a blooming, crawling, clawing wave of realization that takes the cafeteria captive. Heads turn. Voices falls silent. Clueless candy-hair after clueless candy-hair takes in the murder scene, mohawk spikes presented so curiously, so esoterically plattered, as if part of the lunch selection.
The dish itself is a warning; MG-chan understands that much. She feels the bloodlust in the air. And it’s closer now. She edges her chair away from the table. Her nerves are alight.
“Run,” MG-chan says.
“Sorry?” MC-kun replies.
MG-chan kicks her chair back, lighting to her feet.
“Run!”
And at that moment, a sound like a cannon ball fires, the silence breaking. People startle at the noise, but it’s the boy sitting one table over – directly across from MC-kun – who jolts entirely sideways in his seat. He’s the contestant whose hair has been quaffed perfectly into a cartoon whale, pallid blue and deep ocean undertones brimming through his hairline. He stares forward, as if stunned. The girl next to him asks if he’s okay.
He turns to her slowly, and reveals the entire right half of his face has been consumed in a wad of bubblegum. He raises one shaking hand to his whale-tail, now webbed in gum, and he collapses.
And all hell breaks loose.
MG-chan has MC-kun by the shoulder before he can process it. They’re running. Them and GG-chan and RBR-kun. Them and almost everyone else, a breathing screaming mass of panic as people shove and knee and elbow their way through the crowd.
“Where are we going?” MC-kun asks. He’s stumbling to keep pace with MG-chan, one hand pressed protectively to the bandana on his forehead in danger of slipping off.
“Away from here. Outside.” MG-chan throws her weight against the cafeteria door. It slams open. “Wherever we’re not sitting targets.”
Their feet beat against the linoleum below, into the hotel foyer, but it’s no good. The bloodlust presence doesn’t fade. It does not grow weaker. Instead it gains on them, like heat, like a house fire that lashes out at their heels and trips them with each step. Another two kids go down with the sound of razor blades and a puff of shorn hair, like dandelion fluff blown in the wind.
MG-chan, MC-kun, GG-chan, and RBR-kun all burst out the hotel front doors – RBR-kun with a shriek and a graceful leap over a half-shaved unconscious student on the floor.
“How did he go down?! I didn’t even see him go down?!” RBR-kun shouts, pointing to the kid he vaulted. “Invisibility? Is the murderer invisible?!”
“Maybe super-speed. Really any superpower is possible among these people. We can’t rule anything out.” GG-chan has her laptop out, balanced precariously on the crook of her arm. She types one-handed while she runs. “If I can hack into the security cameras maybe I can activate the infra-red sensors and get a reading on—”
There’s a crack. A gasp. MG, MC, and RBR all look back to find GG-chan frozen in place. Her glasses are shattered, pinned to the wall beside her by a single needle-thin arrow.
“My glasses…” GG-chan blinks, and stares at her laptop like it’s something entirely foreign to her. “What is this? What was I–?”
MG-chan grabs her arm too. “Never mind. Run. Just run.”
Keep reading
"I wouldn't want to bother anyone," I say as the thing inside of me eats me alive.
This will haunt my nightmares.
Squelch! Squelch is the technical shorthand for noise gating. Your antenna will constantly pick up ambient noise, which is useless and annoying to listen to all day while you wait for a call. Squelch tells the radio to mute the speakers if the overall power of the signal coming through is below a certain level. You twiddle your squelch until it just cuts out ambient noise, and when someone tries to talk to you the extra power from their signal will go above your squelch setting and it'll unmute so you can hear whoever's calling you.
You know what? Fuck you. *untwiddles your squelch*
she twiddle my squelch till i end up abandoned and unidentified at a local museum
What the fuck
Cursed school presentations? Thank you!
I hate presentations 😂but who doesn’t?
That shrek one is threatening
How’d y'all leave out this one?
Brothers in arms
Incomplete list of great things the PJ LOTR films added that weren’t in the books
OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD– feel free to add on!
“I made a promise Mr Frodo— a promise! Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee. And I don’t mean to. I don’t mean to.”
In general all the scenes where there’s no words/dialogue, and the music and visuals and actor’s performances are allowed to carry the story instead….something that’s impossible to do in a book. The standout moment for me is the moment after the ring is destroyed, Bard-Dur collapses, and it’s portrayed as.relief beyond words.
THE SOUNDTRACK IN GENERAL
The scene in mount doom that’s like “don’t you let go. Don’t let go.”
The hobbits returning home to find everything the same, and being heartbroken because they’ve changed so much.. I’m not saying it’s better than the book’s plotline where they returned home to find the Scouring of the Shire™, but it’s impactful in a completely different way
The scene where Eowyn hears Theoden’s last words, instead of Merry hearing them like he did in the books. Again, not necessarily “better,” but impactful in a different way
“my brother, my captain….. my king.”
Flm!Boromir in general. He’s a drastically different character than he was in the books, and YMMV on which version you like better, but I’m so glad film!Boromir is here
“No parent should have to bury their child.”
Arwen’s expanded role in general, and the way they we actually got to see her make her choice to stay in Middle Earth
That subplot in the Two Towers where Aragorn tames a wild unruly horse, basically becoming the protagonist of a Horse Girl Movie
THE PACING!!!!!!!!!!!!
The way they moved around a lot of the dialogue to places that made it hit differently. .Like in the books Gandalf says the line “many that live deserve death– and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them?” when he’s still in the Shire with Frodo. But in the films, he says it in Moria instead, in his last conversation with Frodo before his own death.
cracks knuckles
My time has come.
Legolas’ miniature character arc of growing to understand death. Gandalf dies? Just pure shock. He looks like he got punched. Boromir dies? He’s just so. Sad and confused. Like a little kid who doesn’t know what dying is but he knows it’s bad. They think the Hobbits are dead? Legolas bows his head and murmurs a farewell in Elvish, but he still doesn’t seem to comprehend. He thinks Aragorn is dead? He practically shuts down because now he gets it. Battle of the Black Gate, when it looks like Aragorn is about to die? That is the only moment besides Moria when we see Legolas is genuinely afraid.
“Never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an Elf.” “What about side by side with a friend?” “…Aye. I could do that.”
Éomer finding Éowyn after the battle instead of in the middle of it and letting out that gut-wrenching scream.
“They have a Cave-Troll.”
Basically the entire fight sequence in Balin’s tomb, which was much shorter in the book.
That EPIC charge down the mountain at Helm’s Deep. Looks like a freaking Renaissance painting.
Boromir training the Hobbits to fight. It’s just so pure and wholesome.
Actually that whole scene because it’s the one moment—before the crebain show up—that we get to see the Fellowship just being friends without some immediate crisis.
Sam getting to say a proper goodbye to Bill the Pony because I have FEELINGS about that pony, okay?!
Arwen and Aragorn having an essentially telepathic connection. Idk if it’s better than the books, but honestly it’s a good way to expand her character without changing it completely—which is what they were gonna do originally by having her show up at Helm’s Deep to fight.
The Elves showing up at Helm’s Deep. I don’t like that literally none of them survived, but that moment when Haldir said they came to honor the old allegiance of Men and Elves? That is some Good Content.
Also, for your consideration:
I have heard it said, and totally believe, that the difference between the endings of the book and the movies, when the hobbits came home, is the difference between how a British author who fought in WW I and survived WW II and a scriptwriter/director who grew up in the Vietnam War era, perceive war and it’s aftermath.
one of my personal favorite dichotomies in atla is how iroh, once the top strategist and highest-ranking general of the fire nation, now directs all his energy and considerable tactical experience towards attempting to keep his teenage nephew from throwing himself into life-threatening situations AND IROH REGULARLY FAILS TO PREVENT HIM FROM DOING SO.
he lead a six-hundred day siege and now iroh can't keep up with a sixteen-year-old armed with two swords and a passionate deathwish. zuko's motto is "act first, think never" and he's running rings around his uncle. it's like!!! who's gonna come out on top, iroh's west point education vs. zuko's deep and abiding commitment to always choosing the stupidest possible course of action, and zuko manages to win every single time
y'all are straight up EVISCERATING that boy in the tags
Transcribing the stuff which the above post collected in screenshots, as follows.
@mademoisellesarcasme: #zuko really just is that self-destructive for so long #and iroh is trying so so hard to keep him *alive* and *whole* and zuko is like >:( 'no'
@wishfulcynic: You don't task General Eisenhower with looking after Daffy Duck.
@eatmystardustloser: #that's just what teenagers are like #you grown up with your fully matured brain: think of the dumbest possible thing you could do in a situation #and the teenager will always be able to come up with something worse
@backbendersokka: #zuko is the most entertaining character to read about in fanfics #you literally never know what he's gonna do next #everything he does is shocking except for when he makes a good decision
@honey-harper-official: #iroh: Zuko don't do X plan it's not smart and will cause problems #zuko: of course uncle i won't #iroh: thinks he solved the problem #Zuko: proceeds to do something somehow even stupider and worse
@thecottageinthedark: iroh's used to facing armies commanded by other high-ranking strategists. that's why he can't keep up with zuko. it's like putting a chess grandmaster up against a maniac who has no idea what the rules of chess are but DOES know how to just physically grab the grandmaster's king, eat it, then throw the board out the window. the grandmaster isn't going to see any of that coming because they expected a sensible chess match, not whatever the fuck this is!
@lilyandhertramps: #zuko: i'm gonna try and destroy myself for the acceptance and love of my father in this new way today #iroh: hey what the fuck actually
@attanoempire: #the problem is that zuko is not a tactically skilled general opposing him #he's an insane teenager #no matter how good at chess i am a baby can just sweep the board and well he hasn't won but i have definitely lost
@beradan: #there's a Zuko LOOSE in the EARTH KINGDOM
@lizard-business: #iroh led soldiers #zuko has never followed an order in his life & he's not about to start now
The Salem News, Ohio, January 13, 1908
These are so cute they’re almost physically painful
had a genuine revelation in therapy that made me burst out laughing, been a while since I had one of those
therapist was talking about urge surfing (the idea that urges are waves that come and go if you ride them out, so the more you delay acting on the urge, the more likely you are not to do it) and then I was talking about how the transient nature of my emotions is actually what gets me so mad, like it's actually very very annoying to be so so sad but to also be thinking "I know I'm very sad right now but unfortunately I am going to feel better later so I can't destroy my life for one minute's gratification," and it's just so annoying because if I knew or at least believed that I was gonna be sad FOREVER it would make things much easier, but instead I'm so mad at the knowledge that this too will pass. like it's a manifestation of weak will to not feel bad forever.
and my therapist was like, "so even at the worst times, you still have hope"
and I was like "holy shit dude" because never once in my life have I considered that the little bastard voice that tells me not to smash all the dishes because they'll be a pain in the ass to clean up in ten minutes is the last gift/curse of Pandora's box
hope is a thing with wings, i.e. a bird and like most birds is 1) very beautiful, 2) very annoying, and 3) sometimes shits on you
Restaurants and bars really love to test your sobriety by making the route to their bathrooms as labyrinthine as possible
Me: I'm not that drunk
Me trying to figure out where the Fuck they've hidden the restrooms in this bar: So this is how Odysseus felt huh
Everyone tagging this post with their local bars/restaurants that have ridiculous bathroom layouts.....I see u. I am u. We are all Odysseus, and our Ithaca is a toilet covered in stickers.
ok I just HAVE to include this picture from inside the bathroom door of this one bar I went to
only one of these knobs work and it's not the one that's a different color from the rest
There’s a tourist trap in NYC called the Jekyll and Hyde Club. It’s kitsch, overpriced, and kinda fun. The elevator is wonky on purpose, there’s animatronic talking heads on the walls, the paintings talk, the waiters are dressed up, and it’s all interactive. I’ve been there a few times.
But the bathroom?
This is the hallway to the bathroom. You have to read the titles of the books to figure it out. And they don’t tell you how to get in.
Riddle me piss!
Okay riddle me piss caught me off guard and now instead of being angry that these bathrooms exist I'm trying not to laugh and wake everyone up
Catical illusion/ This kitty is in a bathtub
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#it looks like it’s having gravity problems
(via @trans-cuchulainn )
“Maybe I’ll stop at the Used Orb store on the way home. Just to look. Just to see what they have.”