Kreia and Atton have a cubic fuck ton in common, which is part of why they absolutely fucking despise one another. because both of them are full of a truly toxic degree of self-loathing — something I think Atton admits to himself and Kreia attempts to deny (outwardly) even though she damn well knows it to be true
it's particularly interesting to me in the context of an Exile who either:
loves Atton and despises Kreia, or
loves Kreia and despises Atton
because the two of them are so similar, yet so different
they're both perfectly neutral in terms of alignment at the beginning of the game. neither of them leans either way by default. they're both sadistic fucks. they both love the feel of power, of control. they both regret and justify their previous actions. they both have intense criticisms of both the Jedi and the Sith. they've both been on the side of the Jedi/Republic and on the side of the Sith. they've both abandoned/rejected and BEEN abandoned/rejected by both of them. they both desperately want the Exile to trust them, confide in them, lean on them, and only them — even with that aforementioned self-loathing. they're both intensely, potentially murderously jealous of others who hold your attention, your approval, your affection. they both try to protect the Exile. they both are willing to kill and die for the Exile
the difference is Atton can change
Kreia can't. no matter what you do, no matter how much you agree or disagree with her, no matter if you end the game with positive, negative, or perfectly neutral influence with her, she will end it as Darth Traya. she will betray you. she will put your life on the line for her own purposes. she will justify it with her own psuedo-intellectual garbage, and expect you to agree with her in the end
she's Kreia. she's Traya. she's static — and that's not an insult. she's a yardstick by which you, and your other companions, are measured. she's better than the worst you can be. she's worse than the best you can be. she disapproves of being good without selfish intent, and with being evil with exclusively selfish intent. she has a point. she's full of shit. she demands to hold your leash no matter what. she'll never truly, fully approve of what you do, and yet she'll convince herself you're the only thing worth living and dying for. she'll never truly, fully open up to you, leaving herself enigmatic even in death
Atton? he'll disagree with you. he'll bitch at you. he'll praise you. look up to you. love you even if he hates you. he'll look for your approval even as he swats away any "forgiveness" you might offer him. he's good if you're good. he's evil if you're evil. he follows you into heaven or hell, regardless of whether he feels he deserves it. he wants you to hold his leash. there's nothing left for him but you — just you. he'll claim he doesn't approve of what you do in some way, shape, or form, but (not so) secretly, he really does approve or disapprove of your actions. he wants you to be good, even if he's willing to give in to his worst impulses if you give him permission. he'll lie to your face, lash out when you ask about his past, then spill his guts the moment he feels you've earned it
Kreia will die for you. Atton will die for you — and he'll live for you
they'll both only admit they love you when they're on their death bed
what makes someone love one of them and hate the other? being used, vs being the user, knowingly or not, willingly or not? being the dog, vs being the master? wanting to be guided, vs being the guide?
what marks the difference between Kreia and Atton, two people who have decided they're worthy of death, aside from the fact that one of them has condemned themself to it, and the other clings to life?
areudirty
janainaart
prguitarman
snowghoul
titsay
