both kinds of beans

reviewing qdoba's vegetarian burrito: always ordered the same way -white tortilla -brown rice -black AND pinto beans -fajita veggies -corn salsa -habanero salsa -lettuce -guacamole

[bothkindsofbeans]

10/29/20

It's been so long since I've had Qdoba. I almost forgot it existed. Sure, I get emails from them, but it's pretty easy to ignore emails and calls and texts these days. Hey, did you hear there's an election happening like, really soon? How's your car's extended warranty? I haven't left my house in several days, which made Qdoba's email offering free delivery this week catch my attention. Perfect. Yes. This is it. It is time.

I think this was my first time ordering for delivery? You would know better than me. I remember almost nothing from the Before Times. It appears the whole wheat tortillas are no longer offered. Sorry if you were someone who gets that, but that's not me. Half and Half beans is still the closest option to Both Kinds of Beans that I have in the app. Once again, I left a comment/special instruction to "bean me up real good". Then the app was like, "Hey Champ, do you want some chips and guac for free?" Of course I do! I can't think of anyone who would turn that down. Not that long after placing the order, I got a text message letting me know that Michael was approaching with my order and asked me to wear a mask if I have to meet him face to face. Sure enough, like 2 minutes later Michael rolled up in a white Mercedes Benz with my burrito. They must have been trying to impress me, and let me tell you something. It worked.

Despite giving me the VIP Benz treatment and the free guac & chips, I don't think they beaned me up as best as they could have. I didn't waste any time diving into it. After my first bite, I was a bit overcome by those sensory memories. This burrito tasted like memories. It was well constructed, that's for sure. Good ratios of everything. It just wasn't the big burrito I needed. Maybe I psyched myself up too much. Once I got the idea in my head to get some Qdoba, I looked back at some old posts. I thought about the days of the Technician, The Abbot, and Ashley, and all of the amazing burritos they made for me. I hope they're all doing ok. Anyway, I can't be too upset. We can't all have the biggest, baddest, beanest things right now. Maybe they knew they couldn't bean me up as hard as I wanted, and that's why they offered the free chips & guac add-on. I know early in this pandemic, people were buying up all the beans (I sure as hell stocked up). Maybe that affected Qdoba's supply chain. I can find plenty of beans these days, though, so I'm not sure that's it. So, everything is pretty shitty right now, particularly here in Wisconsin. It's hard to ignore that. In addition to a deadly virus, we also have fascist militias and rightwing death cults to deal with. I don't know how we're still keeping on, but we are, and we must. I hope everyone is being smart and safe. We're not out of this, despite the White House declaring victory over the pandemic. Despite the tavern league and other nefarious entities fighting tooth and nail against any sort of regulation that could maybe potentially save a few lives, all in the name of "freedom" or whatever, but really they're just holding public health hostage for profit and 'sticking it to the libs' or whatever. God I hate this shit. Until next time, stay alive, don't go to any dumb Halloween parties, stay strong, eat beans, wear a mask, eat the rich, and vote I guess.

Weight: 586 grams (20.65 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

4/02/20

Greetings, beanheads!

Wow, it's been so long. I miss you. I hope you're all staying safe, healthy, and practicing good social distancing. I've been keeping myself in quaran-bean for the last 3 weeks or so. I pretty much never leave my house except a couple times just to get a few essential supplies. I've been trying to avoid ordering food, partially because I am afraid of spending money in these uncertain times, and partially out of guilt that I know the people working at quick-service restaurants are probably underpaid and without proper benefits during a global pandemic. Qdoba has been emailing me a lot, and they finally won me over because today is National Burrito Day! We cannot allow fear to keep us from participating in this most sacred of days. I ordered from the Oakland Ave Qdoba by UWM, because that one is closest to my house. This was my first time ordering through the app, I think. When customizing the burrito, it gives bean options as Black Beans, Pinto Beans, or Half Black Beans & Half Pinto Beans. This must be where some of the workers get their half-and-half mentality. Fortunately, there is a little spot to leave comments, and I wrote "bean me up good" in hopes they'd see that and bean me up good. So did they bean me up good?

Well, they didn't bean me up bad. It wasn't a small burrito, but wasn't huge either. By the time I picked it up and got home with it to eat, it was a little cold, but I didn't care. It feels like it's been ages since I've had Qdoba, and I munched it down pretty quickly. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I felt like I tasted something kind of creamy in the burrito, and I kept looking at it as I ate, worried that there was some kind of queso or sour cream (yuck) in there somewhere. I never found any. Maybe the beans are just creamier at this Qdoba location. It's like their signature. I feel like I could have eaten another one, but that might just be the boredom and cabin fever talking. You know how sometimes when you are cooped up, all you wanna do is snack? That's how I feel a lot these days. Just constant bean lusting. I got some chips and guac too, because if I am ordering food and leaving the house, I might as well go big. After I devoured my burrito and I tore into those chips, I found that they had packed that little plastic cup so full of guac that it popped open on the bag of chips. That's really not the worst thing in the world. It was just slightly messier. Who cares, right? I'm in my home office. I can be as sloppy as I want with my guac. I could have a mustache full of guac right now, and that ain't nobody's business but God's and my own. Now you all are probably thinking, Damn, this sloppy guacamole mustache boy is going to be so out of shape by the time this quarantine is over. How the hell did this slob ride his bike across Wisconsin? Well... no. I didn't get to do that ride. I broke my wrist last summer and had to miss that event. I am signed up for it again this year, and I have been doing my best to train from home during this time, but who knows if the Ride Across Wisconsin will even happen this year. Either way, I am hoping to come out of this time of isolation in better shape than when it all began. Today is also my coworker and comrade Kyle's birthday. Happy birthday, Kyle! It's not fair that you have to share your birthday with National Burrito Day, but I can also see how that would be pretty cool. I wish they'd make my birthday National Burrito Day. I'm happy to be working with someone like Kyle every day, even when we are working remotely. We talked about burritos today via Slack, and Kyle made a great joke about #COVID-mybeans. We might need to try to make that hashtag take a thing. Again, I hope all of you are hanging in there. I worry so much about my friends and family during this pandemic. Stay strong. Take care of each other. I'm incredibly lucky to be able to work remotely for now, and I want to help out however I can. I hope everyone realizes that the current healthcare system and social safety net are incredibly flawed and do not serve the vast majority of people. When we come out of this, we must do whatever possible to not return to business as usual. This is when politicians will show just exactly who they serve, and we must not forget who turns a blind eye to our plight and continues to serve corporate interests at the expense of the working class. They best get their shit together, or else COVID-19 is going to give way to COVID-Guillotine. Love and Solidarity, Your Best Bean Boy

Weight: 660 grams (23.3 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

5/17/19

Is this thing on? Hello, friends. I bet you thought you'd never hear from me again. Some of you may have thought that I gave up on the beans, but I'm still beanin' around. So what have I been up to? Mostly the same old shit. All Messed Up went well this year. I'm training for the Ride Across Wisconsin in August. I got my partner to try Qdoba for the first time. As far as I know, that's still the only time. I've got a pretty neat sourdough starter that I have mostly been using to make dank pancakes from the discard. I brewed some ginger beer that was pretty good. Oh, and I bought a house! I've still been going to Qdoba on occasion, but I need to go to the location at Water & Juneau with the Grand Ave food court gone. They've been treating me pretty well there. I don't have the scale at work anymore to check the weight, but I'd say things have been pretty consistently satisfactory. I had to work early today and didn't have time to eat breakfast. I biked over to Water Street and found something new! Qdoba now has the Impossible™ fake meat stuff. I decided I needed to try that. I got the burrito the same way I always do, but they put on some of that faux meat stuff. I didn't tell them I wanted it until they had already given me all my rice and beans. The rice and beans were all adequate portions. The veggies didn't look all that great, like they had been sitting a while, but I was getting that beef, baby! I don't care about veggies anymore. I just want those spicy burger bits. It is really hard to differentiate it from ground beef, or at least what I remember ground beef tasting like. They didn't give me a ton of it, and it got kind of lost in the rest of the burrito. Again, I couldn't weigh the thing since I brought my scale home, but I would guess this one was above 650 grams for sure. I'm not so sure that the Impossible stuff is really worth the extra $2 (in this economy!?). There's a big difference in my mind between a burrito that comes in at just under $8 and a burrito that comes to just over $10 after tax. Things like Beyond Meat and Impossible Burgers are nice options to have, but I believe they are unnecessary in a burrito. They're kind of a gimmick. Maybe if I was getting some other kind of entree, it would be more worth it, but for real, what else is there to eat at Qdoba for people like me? Hey, thanks for reading. I miss you. Best wishes.

[bothkindsofbeans]

1/22/19

Friends, foes, beanheads, It is with a heavy heart that I come before you today with some news of the closing of the Qdoba in the Grand Avenue Mall. You may have seen my post from January 12 of the very personalized email that Qdoba sent to me (and I assume only me) regarding the closure of that particular store. Last week I had to go check it out for myself. I had to see it with my own eyes so that I could have some closure. It has taken me until now to put my feelings into words. The mall was looking less and less recognizable. There were a couple women who also seemed in awe of the project that was underway and held up a phone to snap a photo. A security guard yelled at them and said no pictures were allowed. That's what the mall has become, my friends. It is no longer a place for the People. It is a place for fancy new apartments and an eventual so-called "food hall". I got to the stairs near where the old Grand Corner convenience store once stood, and they were blocked off. I continued walking toward the main concourse of the mall, and that's when I saw it. Or I guess, that's when I didn't see it. Giant sheets of plastic draped all around the 3rd floor. I couldn't even see the Qdoba one last time. So this is it. This is the end of an era. I am left feeling like I have lost a sense of purpose. Some people have suggested new projects for me to start. These ideas will be taken into consideration, but I think what I need right now is some time. I promise I am not done writing. I'm also not done eating beans. I'll find a new creative outlet, and maybe come back to Both Kinds of Beans when the opportunity presents itself. I'm going to say right now that I am available for private appearances. Message the Facebook or Tumblr pages to make arrangements. Now I guess it's time to say thank you to a few people. I'd like to thank Ashley, who made my burritos so big and gave me a reason to keep coming to Qdoba. I'd like to thank the Technician for just being so dang slick and had a great sense of humor. He made me feel special as a customer. I'd like to thank The Abbott, whose voice was like a song. I hope he's still wooing people somewhere with that sexy voice and those careful hands. I'd like to thank The Matriarch for keeping me in line and not letting my head get too big, while still regularly providing me with good burritos. I'd like to thank The Game, as he was the shining star in the later days when the end was apparent. He knew what I liked, and he continued to deliver the goods. I'd like to thank number-one sponsor, Rory, who supported the project from the very beginning in both a financial sense and also in providing morale. Rory helped me believe in what I was doing. Thank you to all the others who sponsored my work. I hope I made you all proud. I must also thank Hannah, our fearless editor. Hannah's encouragement and meticulous record keeping of our conversations about my burritos made the blog possible. Hannah proofread my work, fixed countless typos, managed the blog, and she doesn't even really like beans all that much! And finally, I'd like to thank all of you, dear readers. I wouldn't have continued doing this for three years if I didn't have your love. No matter what happens, I'll never forget the support you all gave me. Your Bean Boy 4 Life, Charlie

[bothkindsofbeans]

1/08/19

Oh boy, I needed a burrito today. I drank a lot at our company holiday party last night. I should have called it quits slightly earlier than I did. I wouldn't say I was full-on hungover today, but I was definitely not feeling energetic or well-rested. The 2nd floor corridor has been opened once again. That's good news. I didn't like having to do all that extra vertical travel to get through the mall. What is maybe even more exciting is that some of the temporary walls have been taken down and you can see into some of the new apartments that are now starting to be ready for occupancy. The plan is to turn the mall into something of a trendy dorm? There are small apartments and a planned "Food Hall" to replace the food court that currently exists.

Look at this shit. This is a rendering of what they have planned. The rustic wall in back that says BEER HALL, some dumb looking eatery that just says Vegan with handprints all over it. It should just say "Qdoba" on the sign, and have pictures of beans and like chili peppers or something. Look at that shithead playing guitar in the bottom right. I bet those folks on the left are sitting at some kind of wine bar. Also, everyone is white! At the Qdoba, there was some pop country music blasting from in back. I wonder whose choice that was. Today we had a newer burrito artist who I have had a couple times before. He seems like a pretty nice guy, but his burritos have always been kind of a disappointment. All the components looked pretty good today. The brown rice looked fluffy and fresh. It often looks dry. He didn't give me very much of that good lookin' rice. Bummer. The beans were a little better. I'd say if he had given me 20% more of each bean, I'd be much more satisfied right now, but I wouldn't say he cheated me out of beans with the portion he gave me. The part where he excelled was in the wrap, which I guess shouldn't have been that hard given the burrito's small size, but I've seen people do much worse wrap jobs on smaller burritos. He's got the technique down, but he's careful and deliberate still. He makes sure it seals. Maybe he's not confident in his wrapping abilities, which is why he's not going bigger. I think he's got the skills though. I believe in him. There was a little bit of lime flavor somewhere in the burrito that wasn't normally there. I'm not sure where it was coming from. The guac maybe? I didn't mind it. It was just a tangy flavor that was much more pronounced in this burrito than any other burritos I've had there. Weight: 574 grams (20.25 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

12/31/18

I am very pleased to say that the Qdoba in the Grand Avenue Mall has survived 2018. Doubters and haters said that it wouldn't happen. Suck it, haters! The mall was actually rather busy today. I guess people have off work and kids are off school, and the weather is shitty, so the mall might sound like a fun place to hang out? There are like 8 whole stores you can visit! The weather change between today and this time last year is pretty drastic. Last New Year's Eve I remember riding my bike home in sub-zero weather and snapping a shift cable in the bitter cold. This year we have rain. The ironic part is, while last year I couldn't shower or do laundry because of freezing pipes, this year my dryer is just broken. I might ring in the new year tonight by hangin up my socks and undies to dry on my new bike repair stand. I bet it would make a great clothesline. I was relieved to see The Matriarch today. I knew a vet like her wouldn't let me down, despite her tendency to punish me sometimes with the habanero salsa. She scooped me two big helpings of rice. That's a great start. She was generous with the beans as well. The veggies looked so much better than last time. They looked fresh. They still had all the texture that God meant for them to have before Man decided to leave them in a hot pan for hours where they turn to mush. She didn't smite me with the hot salsa this time. Everything was really in perfect proportion. The lettuce didn't look great, but whatever, at least they had it this time. The wrap was the only part that I think could have been better. One end of my burrito was really not sealed well at all. I wish I had started at the open end, because things got messy late in the game. I dropped some rice on the floor as I held my hand, palm up, with the foil containing all the spilled contents of the burrito, eating out of it like a petting zoo llama, except in this case I am both the llama and the child feeding the llama. Because of all the renovations, I can't get through the mall anymore without having to take escalator up and down several times to get through the various wings of the mall. One of them shocked me pretty good today, so, you know, be on the lookout for that. Even with that little shock, this was still a very pleasant experience to close out 2018. Everyone have a happy new year. Don't drink and drive. Just stay home! It's way cooler than going out. Weight: 729 grams (25.70 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

12/19/18

Like West Virginians emerging from the depths of the Elk Run Coal mine, I have returned. I'm sorry that I've abandoned you all for two months now. I was so severely discouraged, as you could probably tell from my entries leading up the the hiatus. I watched the Last Jedi a couple more times, and knowing the food court's days were numbered, I was starting to side with Kylo Ren: "Let the past die. Kill it if you have to." But like some sort of radiant Force ghost, my friend Sam encouraged me to return. I owe it to all of you. I owe it to myself. I owe it to the hollow shell of a mall that houses the only eatery around here that matters. I must see this through until the end... So here I am. The mall has continued to change. The west wing and east wing are now completely cut off from one another on the 2nd floor. The only upside to this is that the shitty store that sells all the T-shirts promoting our city's alcoholism is gone. There have been more casualties. On the ground floor of the west wing, Books at the Bookshop was closed down and moved to Southridge Mall. All but like one of the jewelry stores have closed. All is not lost, though, for in addition to the holy trinity of Panda Express, Tomato, and Qdoba standing strong, the Boost Mobile store still, through all this, touts itself as a Pokemon Go hotspot. The unkillable Laura and her popcorn wagon are selling gift certificates! Qdoba continues to hire new people. I was hoping to see The Game, Pauly, or even The Matriarch, but I only saw a young woman who I did not recognize. She gave me only a tiny amount of rice to start out the process. I sighed and accepted my fate, but then she did something surprising. Those scoops of beans were hearty. They were good! It could have used a little more rice to soak in some of the juices and help hold everything together, but dammit, those beans were the real deal. But to continue with the duality of the experience, I only got a couple scraps of the few shriveled veggies left in the pan. She loaded me up on salsas alright. The lettuce was so-so. There was not much guacamole left, but I'd say the amount I got was adequate. She seemed to struggle with the final wrap. It was loose. There was some spillage that found its way onto my lap. I asked the young woman if she knew how much longer the food court would be in operation, but she said she didn't know. Such is the nature of life. We don't know how much time we have left, so get all the beans you can, be kind, and don't fear the unknown, for we are facing it together. I hope you'll forgive me for my absence. Weight: 608 grams (21.45 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

10/17/18

I know this might be hard for some of you to hear coming from me, bean-lover and OG beanhead, but there's a part of me now every time I go up to that food court that wishes the Qdoba would just close already. A dark part of my brainworks wants the Grand Qdoba to just die like the rest of the mall so that I can be free from the curse of tiny little burritos with hardly any beans in them. I'm sorry for even saying that, but right now it's how I feel. I don't even have anything to say about the burrito. It was small. Small everything. Small Rice. Small beans. Whatever. Not worth describing. I walked past a Qdoba worker on his lunch break in the food court, and he appeared to be eating Panda Express. Maybe he's starting to feel the same feels that I feel about this whole situation. I don't know when I'll write another entry. I'm kind of over this whole thing. It's becoming a chore to get myself excited to eat a burrito that turns out to be a total let down. I don't want to be let down anymore. I don't want to be negative. I don't need that in my life right now. Maybe Qdoba and I just need a break. Weight: 489 grams (17.25 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

10/11/18

Again, I am sorry to leave you for so long. My days at work lately have not allowed me the time to go get burritos, and if I can be honest with you, my Beanheads, I am worrying that the repetitive nature of this blog is making it stale like the last tortilla in the pack. The uncertainty of the future of the Grand Ave food court also makes me wary of investing my emotional labor into this blog. The world is changing, and things aren't always in our control, and that can be scary. Please just bear with me for now. If my burritos continue to be so small, then I don't see the point in continuing this journey. There were two people behind the counter today who I had never seen before. The one who made my burrito was an older guy, and he gave me the smallest portion of rice ever, and I knew right away this burrito was going to be a sad one. Tiny rice. Tiny beans. Tiny fajitas. Today was a defeat. To be honest, I'm surprised this thing weighed as much as it did. It was probably all corn. The guy who rang me up was a young guy with dyed reddish pink hair and gauged ears. The dye job must have been recent and done himself, because his forehead was stained pink. So far all the burritos I've got with all of my points have been pretty tiny beans and a pretty big let down. I've still got one left, so I need to keep some hope alive that I'll get a decent one next time. Weight: 522 grams (18.40 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

9/27/18

Hey, remember me? Remember beans? I barely do. I meant to get one last weekend when I had a hella long day, but that day was full of complications. Hannah, our fearless boss and editor of the blog, was able to send me some beans, but they were not Qdoba's beans. It's been a while since I've had to move a bunch of seats around. Today it was for a comedian I've mentioned before. He's got a first name that most people have no trouble saying, and a last name that might as well be fuckin' 'Voldemort' or something, since nobody ever says it out loud. Man-is-cal-co. Dude's intro music when he comes on stage should be the hit Destiny's Child song "Say My Name" just troll his fans who never really bothered to learn his name. Then he'll eat a big plate of spaghetti and make faces for 90 minutes. And before you say I'm being racist against Italian people, I want you to know that the image provided for marketing by his own tour is a picture of him eating spaghetti. I've never listened to anything the man his said. I've only seen the look in his eyes when he looks at all that pasta. Also, I'm not Italian at all, and I love pasta. I ride Italian bikes. I even own an Italian rifle chambered in an obsolete caliber. As the mall keeps transforming to look less and less like a mall, my biggest fear is that I'll find Qdoba abandoned one of these days soon, like countless other establishments from the Grand Avenue Mall. For today, it is still open, and today I ate a burrito. It wasn't a great burrito. It was made by some tertiary characters that I have never bothered to name, because I only ever see them working in back. They may never get names. I don't want to become too attached to anyone at this point, knowing that at any point they could just disappear from my life forever. I don't think I could handle that. But then again, after the way she made my burrito today, I don't think I'd be that sad... It started off with disappointment straight away. I thought she was going to go in for a second scoop of rice, because the first one wasn't all that big. She just set the spoon down though. The beans were half-and-half for sure. Just a little bit of each. Then she asked what kind of meat. Why is it that no matter how many times I start my order with the word "vegetarian", that never really seems to sink in? Is that why my rice and beans sucked so bad? Was she just trying to leave room for dead flesh? The veggies were ok, but again, not particularly big on the portion size. She automatically started going for the pico de gallo salsa, because that's what I guess most people get. Maybe I should have just let her put some on it. Any extra mass would have been appreciated. It all got wrapped up into a neat, tiny package, which I don't expect to impress you. It's not that hard to wrap it all up when there's hardly anything there. Then when I redeemed my points to get this burrito for free, she acted all excited, like "Oh you get a free one today!" like I'm supposed to be excited or something. Excited for this? This is what I worked so hard for? In the good old days, Ashley would make me burritos twice this size! Despite my tiny beans, my friend Dannon had different luck when he went a couple hours later. His trick, however, is not getting any rice. That sounds like a dangerous idea to me. To me, the rice is an important component in that it acts as a binder and keeps everything together. Imagine all the bean juices with no rice! It would seem hard to contain. Like it would just be a big leaky sack. That's exactly what it was. It was big. Much bigger than mine. Maybe if I start ordering my rice on the side, or ask them to put the rice on last, like if I thought at the beginning that maybe I didn't want rice, but I changed my mind at the very end? Times are changing. This Qdoba won't be around forever, and I may need to adapt my strategy to get those good beans. P.S. Happy birthday to my kickass grandma. Weight: 478 grams (16.85 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

9/11/18

It's an important anniversary today. Some of you may remember. On this day 8 years ago my duck, Dog, escaped from his duck coop. It was the day after I had been hit by a car on my way to work. I woke up the next day and could barely move, but I still had to feed and water my ducks. Normally we kept a piece of plywood approximately a meter in height in front of the door to the duck coop, so that even when the door was open, ducks couldn't just run out. They had never tried to escape, but we didn't want to take any chances. I could not step over the board that day. I took most of the impact with my hip, and I just couldn't raise my leg. I moved the board, and then Dog, the son-of-a-bitch duck, decided to make a run for it. I yelled to my roommate who was asleep upstairs to come down and help me. Dog ran around the alley like an idiot, not knowing where to go. We eventually were able to corral him back into the coop. What a jerk. Our heroic boss and editor of this blog took my shift that night working Mondo Lucha at Turner Hall. Mondo Lucha just celebrated their 10th year last weekend. Isn't that cool? 

I get to work Dinosaur Jr. tonight, and I am pretty psyched about that. Isn't that just the cutest name? Dinosaur Jr. It's like a little itty bitty thunder lizard. Adorable. Just kidding. I've seen them a few times, and they're great. I know it doesn't really have anything to do with baby dinosaurs. I needed to get fueled up before heading to Turner tonight, so I got a coffee and a burrito. The Matriarch was working today, wearing a bright pink Qdoba polo shirt. I know she must recognize me, right? You'd think so. And I began my order the way I always do, by saying "vegetarian burrito", but she still asked me "what kind of meat?" after we got past the beans. Speaking of the beans, she gave me some pretty good scoops of each. I thought maybe she was going to go for a second scoop of rice in the very beginning, but she did not. It could have used more rice. That's part of why I always say it's vegetarian in the beginning, so that they hopefully load me up on the beans and rice. The veggie pan was nearly empty, and the peppers and onions were all just sitting in a big pool of their own liquid. There wasn't much texture to them. They were pretty limp. The lettuce was pale and not great-looking, but I took it. It did its job. As usual, The Matriarch did some good guacamole distribution, making sure it all got to where it needed to go. She wraps a burrito better than anyone else on the roster at that Qdoba. I know I don't do a whole lot of guessing anymore as to the weight of the burrito, but let me tell you I nailed the one today. I was only off by one gram. Weight: 659 grams (23.25 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

9/06/18

And then there were three... The food court is down another eatery, but fortunately Qdoba still stands. The Subway is closed. That's a little unexpected because the sandwich giant that is Subway always seemed like they were too big to fail. But then again, why bother to keep a location open in this dying mall that will eventually be renovated? You can spit in downtown Milwaukee and hit a Subway. There are a couple more within a few blocks, and I'd bet that the Grand Avenue Subway was probably the lowest-grossing store in the vicinity. That leaves just three establishments: Qdoba, Panda Express, and Tomato. Who do you think will be the last one standing? Maybe we could start taking bets. I don't know anything about betting, because I think gambling is a sin against God. Maybe I should start, though, because I got a feeling Qdoba will stand the longest. Pauly D made my burrito today. He was definitely quick about it. The portions were all pretty average. The black beans were initially a very small scoop, but he put the spoon back in and got a few more for me. I still think it was a little weak. I got more of the pinto beans, but they looked a little dry. Like the liquid in the pan had evaporated, or at least thickened up. I didn't really see the last phases of the burrito process, because another worker (one who I have no name for) started to ring me up at the register. I trusted Pauly not to make any big mistakes. There's probably a reason he wears one of the cool collared shirts instead of the t-shirts that the other Qdoba workers wear. This burrito looked a little bigger than it actually was. It was wrapped up nicely, and all of the ingredients were in good proportion to one another, but I think it could have used about 10% more of everything all around. Hey, today is a very special day. It's my friend Molly's birthday. I've known Molly for most of my life. She's one of the few avid readers of this blog, and she encourages me to continue to write all the good stuff. She's going to be able to put some letters after her name pretty soon, which is really cool if you ask me. We're going to party tomorrow night, because she's a responsible adult and is waiting until the weekend to party. Happy birthday, Molly! Weight: 645 grams (22.75 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

8/28/18

A storm is brewing. The radar shows a hella nasty storm system heading our way. It should probably be hitting us by the time I get out of work this evening. I hope it cools things off a bit. Today was pretty hot and sticky. So hot and sticky that I couldn't be troubled to go outside and get a burrito for myself. I sent Kalah and Rory to do it. Today's burrito is brought to you by Rory. Thank you, Rory, for being such a great sponsor over the years. And I guess thank you, Kalah, for going with Rory and making sure he made it back alright with my burrito. Good way to use the buddy system. They could not tell me who made my burrito today. From the description, it did not sound like someone I am too familiar with. Part of me is glad I didn't have to see what all went on with this burrito. It was pretty small. It didn't seem like there were many beans on there. The proportions of everything were kind of whack. The veggies were pretty good today from what I could tell. When I don't see them make it at all, it's a little harder for me to critique. The wrap job was pretty good, but the dang thing was so small that anyone could have probably wrapped it up nice and tight. My cat, whose birthday happens to be today, could have probably rolled that burrito without any thumbs or fingers. He'd probably get one of his little claws stuck in it like an idiot, though. Happy 9th birthday, Jax. This burrito left me wanting, but it's a good thing I am going out to eat later. I wanna check out a new all-vegan restaurant on the East Side. Hopefully that works out. Hopefully I don't fall in a sink hole, because even as I type this, the sky is looking scarier, and the wind is getting wild. Weight: 547 grams (19.30 oz) (Rory's was approximately the same weight as mine. Kalah's was made by The Matriarch and was near the 750 gram mark)

[bothkindsofbeans]

8/25/18

After nearly two weeks without any Qdoba, I have broken my fast. It feels good to be back. I didn't end up hitting up any Qdobas in or on my way to/from Denver. There was just so much more good food available. Have you guys ever heard of a place called Illegal Pete's? Damn, that place was amazing. I got a burrito similar to (though not the same as) my regular Qdoba order, but I got it smothered in some delicious red sauce, and then I got a nice beer too. Imagine if Qdoba had a full bar and even more vegan options, and probably better food overall. I tell ya, Pete's would be my jam if I lived in Denver. It was really like the perfect vacation. I'm back at the Riverside, working a rap show tonight with more performers than I can count, and I don't know anything about any of them. I'm kind of a square, I guess. We did some reading up on one of the rappers who goes by the name Pooh Man. Pooh Man apparently robbed a bank one time. That's pretty cool. I just hope he doesn't try robbing me of my Qdoba rewards card, cuz that thing's got like 4 or 5 free burritos on it at this point. Just kidding. Even if he got my card, he would still need access to my Qdoba account, and I can control all that through the app. Qdoba is looking out for me, so that I know all of my hard-earned points are safe from Pooh Man. I stopped by the Walgreen's on my way to the food court, and I was surprised to see all the Halloween stuff up already. We still got a couple months to go, but I suppose if you want your candy corn fix right now, they got you covered. More and more storefronts are getting boarded up, but once again I was relieved to see Qdoba still lit up like a beacon in the darkness. No Qdoba employees were immediately visible for the first minute or so when I got up to the counter. A door was open that usually is not open, I got a peek in back. I saw a sign on the wall that said "Has the manager on duty brought in the coin machine?" That makes me think that at least one time, someone left that automatic change dispenser by the register out after close. I can see how that could be bad. Eventually someone came out to help me. Again, it is a man I had never seen before. There sure are a lot of new faces lately for a location that always seems to be on the verge of disappearing. He gave me white rice instead of brown rice, but I didn't say anything. Maybe I should have asked for brown rice into the addition, but I didn't think of it. He didn't give me a ton of the rice. He went back in a second scoop, but he only picked up a few little grains. The scoop of black beans was adequate, I guess. The pinto bean scoop was much larger. He piled those on. The veggie pan was almost empty, so I got the rest of those peppers. Some looked bright and fresh. Others looked shriveled and kind of devoid of life. The lettuce didn't look particularly great today, but I know we've been conditioned in this economy of mass production and food waste to reject fruits and veggies for minor imperfections. There was really nothing wrong with that lettuce. It still tasted like lettuce. It still crunched. He applied the guacamole well, spreading it around with a rubber spatula, and then he rolled the burrito very carefully. He did a really good job with that wrap. Everything was tucked in and tight and wrapped up securely in foil. It was a good burrito. As I've said before, I don't mind the white rice. I just often get the brown to trick myself into thinking I am being healthier that way. I know it probably doesn't make all that much of a difference. I would say that I wish the burrito was a little bigger, but I am surprisingly satisfied now as I type this. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the mountain of pinto beans that made it so filling. Weight; 629 grams (22.20 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

8/12/18

Once again the time got away from me. I'm back for day 2 of those brothers. Today wasn't quite as frantic, but I still kept pretty busy. I went to the silent, dying mall in the mid afternoon to get a burrito, since I don't know when I will be back at work getting one again.

When I got to the food court I was greeted by the newer employee with the pink-rimmed glasses. The rice portion worried me at first. It wasn't all that big, but she knew what she was doing when it came to my beans. Good scoops of both. There were no veggies left in the pan, but she did ask if I wanted any. I said I would like some if possible. The Game was in back and started cooking up some peppers and onions for me. I hate creating extra work for people, but that burrito would not have been very satisfying without the veggies. While the veggies were being prepped, she moved on down the line to the salsas, and she loaded me up heavy with corn. She completed the remaining ingredients of the burrito, and then walked it back over by the veggie station to add those once they were ready. Because of that, I didn't really see how much she gave me, and I also didn't get to observe her wrap. I suppose I could have been a total weirdo and walked back down the line to watch her, but The Matriarch came by to ring me up at the register.

Once again, new Qdoba burrito artist came through. The burrito was satisfying to all my senses. I'm sorry I don't have much more to say about it. I'm so tired. All I can think about right now is getting out of work so I can buy some cat food, do a load of laundry, and get up early tomorrow to get on a plane to Denver. Everyone have a great week. I'll talk to you when I get back... unless I stop at a Qdoba at one of the airports or something.

Weight: 670 grams (23.65 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

8/11/18

I am writing this a few hours after eating the burrito. It's been a pretty busy day. A certain americana band of brothers is in town, and their fans are pretty intense. I'll do my best to recount my bean experience to you. The mall was incredibly quiet today. I still can't believe the Grand Corner convenience store is gone. As I walked up the stairs, I heard absolutely no sounds coming from the food court. I was very afraid I was going to find a foodless court atop the stairs. What would I do if that happens? Maybe the question is what will I do when it happens? I'll probably just have to commit seppuku right there, letting my blood spill onto the food court floor, and down the escalator, and maybe some of my blood will mix with some leftover bean juice. My juicy remains will seep into and soak and stain the walls of the Grand Avenue Mall, and I'll become a part of the mall until it is no more. Maybe I'll livestream it! Not today, though. Today Pauly D was there, and I live to eat another burrito. The brown rice grains looked bigger and puffier than normal. I don't know if they got a different strain of rice, or maybe they cooked the rice with more water or something? It was stickier than usual. I don't have a strong opinion about how it tasted, just an observation, but because it was so sticky, a significant amount stuck to the spoon Pauly served me with. I don't believe I got the full intended portion. The beans weren't that much better. Definitely some half-and-half beans instead of both kinds of beans. At least the veggies looked pretty good today, but again, he didn't really give me a ton. The shining star today was definitely the guac, which usually doesn't stand out. Of course I always appreciate the guacamole, and I miss it when it's not there, and I talk shit when it's not distributed well, but today was different. The guacamole tasted extra fresh and zesty. I loved it. Even though I think Pauly D did me kind of  dirty today, I still have positive feelings because of the guacamole. I might try to get one more burrito in before I go on a trip to Denver to visit my brother next week. I'm not sure if I'll visit any exotic Qdobas on my journey, but there's always the possibility. Weight: 569 grams (20.05 oz)

[bothkindsofbeans]

8/02/18

Is it already Thursday? This week has just been flying by for me. That's kind of weird, because I haven't been super mobile this week. One might think that would make the hours drag around slowly, but it's been the opposite for me. Remember when I mentioned that bike race last week? It was a pretty good time, except that I got knocked off my bike and attacked by a dog during it. Dog bit my leg pretty good (pics by request). I biked myself to urgent care and got a tetanus shot, some stitches, and some antibiotics. I biked back from urgent care with one foot clipped in and doing all the work while my bad leg just kinda dangled all numb from the anesthetic. Walking on it kinda sucks, but I got back on a bike last night for the first time since Saturday, and that doesn't bother me so much. Don't worry, the owner is going to pay my bills. I feel like a jackass, though, because I was talking up this 100 mile ride I was going to do before my leg got chewed off. I'm putting that off until the stitches come out. I hobbled over to the mall to get a burrito today. If I buy 4 entrees in the month of August, they're gonna give me a free one. I also had to use up the last of Paul's gift card. I entered the mall in the nearly-empty east wing and took the skywalk over to the west wing. It was there that I noticed some changes since last week. The salon is gone. Totally empty. That was one of the places that always seemed to have someone in there. I wonder what's going to happen to the barber/future mayor of Milwaukee and all the horse sense. The whole row of stores was vacant. Sassy 2 Classy, the fashion accessory store, and most importantly the Grand Corner. The Grand corner was a little corner story on the 2nd floor. I didn't go in there that often, but their motion sensor was sensitive enough to make a ding-dong sound if you just walked too close to the store. They always had a dry erase board outside with their specials and prices listed. I always loved it because what I am pretty sure were bananas were always listed on the board as "BANNAS". Damn. I wonder what will be next to go. I walked up the stairs, terrified that there would be no Qdoba once I got up there, but I was relieved to see it was still open. There was even another new employee who I had never seen before. She was young and friendly. Her glasses had pink rims and they matched her earrings, which were little pink balls. She gave me 2 very small scoops of rice, 2 very small scoops of black beans, and once medium-sized scoop of pinto beans. The veggies again looked great today. The major positive thing I'll say about this burrito is that all the ingredients were in perfect proportion to one another. All she needs to do to make it perfect would be to just up the quantities ever so slightly. The wrap was a little loose, but I kept it together and didn't make a mess. Not bad for my first experience with this newbie. Hopefully the Qdoba will be around long enough for her to learn a bit from The Game or something and maybe start making my burritos a little fatter. I finally used to the very last of the gift card Paul gave me back in April. Thank you again, Paul. You have kept me fed at work with that generous gift. Now I've got a ton of points for free burritos to burn through for a while too. It's like the gift that keeps on giving. Weight: 584 grams (20.60 oz)