[morning-meltdown]

I was supposed to have therapy today but my therapist woke up sick so we’re rescheduling to Monday. I’m looking forward to my reiki session tomorrow and I’m getting my haircut so I think I’ll be heading into my therapy session a little more clear headed than I would’ve today which will be a bit better use of our time than going in all over the place which is how my head feels at the moment. Feeling more like myself a little bit everyday but still lingering on the phone call where he ended things, just trying to understand. Sigh.

[morning-meltdown]

.

[stuckinapril]

you seem avoidant for a girl who’s so hungry to experience the full breadth of human connection

[morning-meltdown]

Another day spent at my favorite place in town. I’m proud of myself for giving myself time to just exist in a third space.

[poisondartlesbian]

crazy how your only options for romance these days are to redownload hinge or to give up on love and become a lighthouse keeper. ah well.

[morning-meltdown]

I feel so much more like myself today. Thank. God. Today is a short day, only 3 classes and getting done at 1pm. I scheduled a reiki session for Saturday to help clear out all of this heavy energy. Therapy tomorrow plus reiki on Saturday is going to do a lot of good, I can feel it.

[keyara-nyasha]

[quoteastic]

Sending love to all the women who are constantly desired but never loved all the way through.

[morning-meltdown]

Dare I say I found a lil pep in my step this afternoon?

[fairyinthetrees]

doing a line of hope just to get by

[guiltfactory]

BAD NEWS: it will not be the same forever

GOOD NEWS: it will not be the same forever

[mynorthernattitude]

*me to me* let's never do that again big dawg

[yasharose63]

Safe to say that good communication can fix almost everything.

[fairyinthetrees]

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

[seracadash]

My hate for the military vs my love for the 🫡 emoji

[morning-meltdown]

Things:

I was feeling really panicky this morning and realized it’s probably due to my excessive weed usage for the last two weeks so I’m not going to smoke any for the rest of the week, possibly continue it through the weekend, and see if that helps.

I’ve been journaling a LOT lately which has felt so nice. I’m usually bad at journaling because I want it to be well written but I’ve basically said fuck it, just get it written down. Very cathartic, 10/10 recommend.

Everyday is getting easier, even with the lows of this morning. Still very much looking forward to therapy on Friday.

I’m genuinely excited to see how I feel after I get out of my PMS brain and back into my logical brain. I think I’m gonna be okay.

[singing-bowl]

thinking about how ursula k leguin said "what goes too long unchanged destroys itself. The forest is forever because it dies and dies and so lives" and how everyday i wake up slightly different and i can feel myself shed the skin of who i used to be slowly, slowly, until i look back and can scarcely recognise who i was... but also she is still a part of me, part of the leaf litter and the humus, supporting me as i send new roots down and new leaves stretching up to the sunlight