blue is like aziraphale and red is crokey Ok.
@lukeskywalkerlover69 like wrote the blue stuff and i wrote the red. i aint linking my main.
*azaza is… writing SMUT about… crowley- and he is liek so locked in that he DOESNT eeen kno that… crowley see it ALL…*
*crowley looks over azaza's shoulder and goes psst.* “yo angel”
*azaza does the mark jumpscare face* OUUU MYYYY GOSH almost dies and then like throws book at wal and then breaks chair with his fat as*
*crowleys eyebrow rise apparently in shock. he shakes his head* “tsk settle down. gdont get ya panties in a twidt oi” *he pats azazas shoulder.*
*azaza is like… really gay so hes like also… looking like a tomato even shaped like one* DONT TOUCH ME im… *looks around kawaii like* im pregnant… but.. it either yu the father or.. jim
*crowkey stumbles back in shock and gasls* “HOW COULD YOU- YOU LITTLE UGHH! CHEATA I STELL YA.. i.. i cant belive ths.. angel if jim if the father then.. ill tgo.. cuz u CLEALRLY love him mrkre than me” *he wlajs WALKS up to aziraphale and cups his cheek on his bitt* “shame..”
*aziraphale is 8 month pregannt but yu cant rven tell cause hes so fat* I… sorry… he touch tip withmme and… it accident like i swear. *Gasps like really gay when butt is cupped bit its so fat that yu cant eben cup one cheek without it like eating yu hand* corlwy.. no… we cant.. im… im sometimes gay.. on turesdayfnkf
*crowley shakes his head.* “ you k osnow what angel.. no matta what. ill love you and sex yu” he sahs very seductively and doesnt pull his hand out of azazas ass. he smooches him on ghe cheek which is on his face i guess. annd he gives the cheek a little lick and plunges his hand deeper in aziraphale's buttox.* “if what you say is true.. if you and jim accidentally touched tips.. i understand because.. thays happened to me before.. with one of my house plants.”
*azaza looks a little gay, but has that europeanis shimmer in his eyes like ginger but azaza doesnt know who that is* but… ist.. not tuesday yet… and also.. im now 9 months prebnant it just happened… *He say shyly, though he smirk when crowley kis his cheek on his face thats defintly on his face* but… dont put yu hand too far caus- one time… one time jim did that, and now he missing a hand. *he say with worry, but, allows ot* wow.. yu… yu touch tips with hoise plant.. i forgive yu.. but, dont do it again or else im revoking your rights to queen. but this baby is… going to be gay… like you..
crowleys smirk almost instantly dropped. his eyes widened in shock “YOU DARE THREATEN ME?” he sigbs. he then raises an eyebrow “JIM DID WHAT?!” he risp his hand out of azas ass and uses it to slaps him and then the baby thorugh lije his stomach* “YOU LIAR! ONE OF THE TIMES WERE NOT AN ACCUDENT. YOU ARE JUST A BLOODY WHORE AZIRAPHALE!” *he shakes his head as a tear trickles down his arm i guess.* “i-i ddidnt mean to.. aziraphale ppease.. forgive me.” he begs and gets on all foues
*azaza lets out twink gasp and whopper as crowlye slaps him and the babeh, tears form in his eys and trickl down his… cheek.. both. all.* IT WAS ACCIDENT… i not a… whore *sobs* yu gonna kill the baby if yu leep slapping it- Remembe when yu used to… slap me for fun.. on the but… where did thay go- what changed *aziraphal says as he wipes tear off with his foot because he has no shoes on for some reason.* crowly yu cant.. ask me to forgive yous becaus you… youre gay. but… since yu crawling around- i guess i do.. forgive yu.. but, if this baby has dent in his head then it yu fault *azaza water break all over on crowley since he on all fours and genuinely waterboards crowleyI*
*crowley opens his mouth wide and drinks most of the water that was broken or something to prove hsi devotion to aziraphale.* “ahhh” *he saysnas he licks hislips*. taste like candih l. if that baby got a dent ion een cur bra das not my baby anyway. i aint eva nut un yu. twin. *crowley rauses an eyebrow now and thinks* “oh right ur like water broke i forgor. we NEED to dleiver this baby now. spread open.
*azaza looks offended as yu say it not yu baby, but, looks like he appreciat yu cleaning up water mess everywhere in his bookshop or something* it IS your baby- becaus… i say so. i can miracl it as your baby if uts not- BUT IT IS. caus… yu did nut in my but, remember that oke tome we were at mcodnalds bathroom. *I say knowing yu remember that ONE time in mcdonald… british mcdonalda* oh right yes im.. in labor right NWLow… i having such contractions i cant even speka.. *Rips off pants from the buttcheek seam and bends over, but befor yu could prepare the baby flies out since azaza so loose and it hits you in the head*
*crowley itches his noggin.* “ow, i sjouldve expected that” *he doesnt eben pay attention to the baby rigjt infront of him he just kinda dtares at azazas ass cheeks.* “i do rmemeber.. well since this os our child what should we like name it BRUV” *he says bevause he forgets jes british for a second* “im thinking Queen Crowley Bentley” *he smirks unironkcally thinking this moght be the best name ever.*
*the baby is like crying on the floor or something cause its gay i think, and its really defoemed like aziraphale, but NOBODY cares becaus gay moment is happebing* that name… its… so perfec- I think that we shkuld name it that- wait, i dont even know what gender it us but i dont care cause its lgbt blt. *he say with smirk and… try to close his pants with magic but aparently it doesnt work sinc… hes gay.* but… forget about the baby, its not important… will you… be gay with me on tuesday
*crowley stands up and scooches the baby away with his foot. he senses azi trying to fix hisnpants and puts a hand over aziraphales shoulder* “no need, keel the pants off.. it suits you.” He kneels behind aziraphale and birries his fave is aziraphale's crack and blows making bubbles with like aziraphales butt juices. “yu still got it. yes tiesday we gay.” *he starts playing a Queen song like on axiraphales buttxheeks kinda like the drums you know?*
*doesnt een cur thay crowley just scooches baby away with foot since aziraphale just honestly forgot he even gave burth. he blushes liek that one ginger image* wow… it does? hm i will.. hav to not wear them more often, i think.. *He say with smirk again cause he really likes smirking i dont know why its a gay thing and i wouldnt know definitely. as crowley put his face in azaza butt, azaza gasp and say* let me put on socks forst!!! it not tuesday yet… and socks make it not gay. yu.. cant do that without socks… not even when i know how much you like my weird long toes.. just… get me socks..
*crowley shakes his head and his eyes narriw at azaza feet.* “stop aziraphale. trying to hide the gay.. theres no schedule. tjeres only.. us and gay too.” *he hears the baby crying but he jjst tunes it out. he drags a finger down azaza left boob to like his uh woa idk man this is pwetty innapropriate but.. his wee. and like sqheezes it.* “how come your wee doesnt have that lil dangly thing like mine?” *he shakes his head* “interesting.” *uh hes thinking.* “so are we gonna like dk it OI?”
*aziraphewl looks away in fear of magically… turning more gay if thats possible i dont rhink it is but he thinks it is. azaza also cant tune out baby like everyone else can apparently and.. he say* can you… put the baby outside? i dont like it in here with us and the books.. *he sai with a long sigh thats really dramatic- but then a gasp escape his lips again because he does that a lot and he push yu hand away becaus he feels ashamed of his wee not having the bow tie on the end of it* dont talk about thay its… an insecurity of mine.. sobs.. but.. i dunno- *says britishly* well… i suppose so *he say as he kicks baby out of window and then they genuinely do it*
*crowd applauds cuz people watched this in live action*
(WE WERE BOTH SOBER, SANE, AND EVERYTHING NORMAL WHILE WRITING THIS. THIS ISNT SATIRE. THIS IS SO REAL NO CAP)
this is NOT a mockery of good oatmeal we are REAL fans. we LOVES azaza and cokley and fat people and gaycprople. #crippled
