looking to the stars above

[moved-nosuperm4n]

hi if you get a follow from me it's bc i moved clark to his own blog <3 same url - @nosuperm4n ! catch you on the other side !!

[venustrapearch]

" who knew your short-lived political aspirations would come in handy ? " that was an eventful campaign – banners, buttons & bees, all famously essential during student president elections, of course... only in smallville ! " you know, i still have no clue what my favorite part about that whole fiasco was – sasha sending her bee hive lackeys after the candidates or us fighting. " the sarcasm lingers, cheek pressed against her knuckles for support. " it's usually journalism bias that gets a reporter in trouble, but it must've been opposite day. " she offers a small smile now, easy, knowing their fun little spat is behind them & it's been long enough to joke about it. confusion colors her features as her suggestion is met with new information. " & i'm only hearing about this now ? " less of a 'why didn't you tell me ?' & more of a 'how has this not come up by now ?' " what happened ? "

[moved-nosuperm4n]

" i think my favorite part was when it was over ... " he added with a wry sarcasm before dismissing that whole fiasco entirely. though, after the mention of lana, he'd wished he'd dwelled a bit more on that and avoided being confronted with the million-dollar question: what happened? if only he could tell her the truth — he could use a trusted friend that he could confide in right now. but he had already screwed up one friendship, he couldn't risk complicating two more. every time— just when he thought he got away with keeping his secret, a new obstacle arose, confronting him with yet another cruelly inventive trial ; it was as though every problem had been but a series of tests assigned to him by some greater force made for him to endure.

clark kept silent, avoiding her eyes, evidently hesitant to answer ; it was too uncomfortable to share, considering the reason for his turmoil between lana and clark involved chloe herself ... and too much pda that she had the privilege to forget whilst he was stuck with the memory and the confrontation with lana.

" what always happens ... i complicated things, " he finally answered, keeping his answer generic, though honest. " it doesn't matter, " he dismissed any attempt he wanted to make at telling her. " i wouldn't want to get you in the middle of it— she's your friend, too, it wouldn't be fair. — we'll be fine, i think ... "

[peteneems]

Our hero. Well, our future hero.

[thewrongwomen]

anger, his oldest and most loyal friend, the only one that will never abandon him, a friend that fuels him to live, spitefully. it slowly conquers his expression, jaw locking tight, teeth clenching and eyes closing with the inmense effort he is making to calm himself down. breathe in. breathe out. don't throw anything at him. don't scream. " funny, clark. i thought i would be judging. " he follows up the joke without bite, voice lowering to almost a whisper. these fights with clark — well, they make him feel alive.

lex scoots forward, at the edge of his office chair, elbows coming up to rest as his mahogany desk, fingers intertwinning underneath his chin, hovering. forcing a smirk onto his rage-twisted visage, he speaks, biting. " friendship ? " a laugh, bitter and cold. a raise of his left eyebrow, a tilt of the head as he lays it onto his own hands. " thank you, clark. you are such a great friend. worrying about me and my father, about luthorcorp. " words are spit, playful and cutting, as he stares at his one and only friend. " it quite stings, that you don't think i know by now who my father is. who i am. "

[moved-nosuperm4n]

and there it was — the cold cockiness, the kind of attitude that when it was aimed at clark, it alienated him entirely from the warm and appreciative friend he'd once known lex to be. how did they end up like this? it was almost as if, with every argument, lex shed a new layer of him, bringing clarity and perspective to clark; and, he didn't like it — it made him too aware that he disliked that side of lex. it made him question himself ; was he being too strict, or was lex heading down a dangerous path that he couldn't pull him back from? the questions remained as his inner dilemma persisted, but as he stood before him, a man he once claimed to be his best friend, clark revealed a new discovery about himself:

" you're right. it's me who doesn't know you ... " he uttered with a resigned tone, a faint trace of bitterness beneath sadness. " and maybe i never did. "

[moved-nosuperm4n]

am i delusional for wanting to throw clark in the gen v world cause like-

[loisl4ne-a]

the  silence  stretches  .  .  .  too  long,   too  loud,  and  she  hates  it.  despises  the  way  the  word  us  lingers  in  the  air,   heavy  as  a  sentence  neither  of  them  are  ready  to  face.  her  jaw  tightens,   gaze  skittering  away,  like  maybe  if  she  doesn’t  look  at  him  directly  the  weight  of  it  won’t  crush  her.  but  clark  kent  has  never  been  someone  she  could  hide  from.  “ i  didn’t— ”   the  protest  falls  flat,  because  of  course  he  can  see  right  through  her,  through  every  flimsy  deflection.

a  deep  exhale,  shoulders  dropping  as  the  truth  claws  its  way  up.  “ okay  .  .  .  yeah.  maybe  i  did. ”  restless  fingers  pick  at  the  hem  of  her  sleeve.   so  much  for  her  calm  facade.  “ it’s  just— ”  words  falter,  taking  another  moment  to  choose  her  next  words.   rare  for  her  .  .  .  but  how  does  she  look  him  in  the  eye  ( the  most  important  person  in  her  life )  and  admit  she  feels  like  he’s  keeping  something  from  her?  hazel  hues  finally  find  his  again.  “ nothing  makes  sense  .  .  .  and  at  the  same  time,  it's  like  i'm  seeing  everything  clearly  for  the  first  time. ”

[moved-nosuperm4n]

he'd messed up— only he couldn't pinpoint at which stage of their relationship he did it. he knew something was wrong, but he couldn't tell if it came out of the blue, but he suspected that it was something being built over time. maybe it was at the very beginning when he kissed her— maybe he should have waited longer, taken things slower; or, maybe it was when he started talking to her as the blur, and getting to know a side of her that she never shared with clark kent; maybe ... it was the fact that he had been lying to her all along.

" lois, you're never one to bite your tongue, " he remarked with an increasing unease as his heart picked up the pace. " talk to me, " the tremble in his tone pleaded: please talk to me. please don't forget how to talk to me. "you can be honest, " he encouraged, despite the fear that was surging through his chest, each troubling thought worse than the previous one.

[milleroptimism]

"--- I let myself be vulnerable with him, Clark." Her voice was small. She kept her eyes locked on the counter. "In a big way. I'm so fucking stupid. I actually thought that..."

[moved-nosuperm4n]

he knew the feeling all too well. " i understand... sometimes the ones we trust with our hearts are often the ones who know exactly how to break them. " he spoke with quiet gentleness, offering her empathy without presuming to provide answers to a burden he himself also carried.

[diaeblerie]

↳    𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖  𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚊  𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚝 . . .

“  i'm  sure  it  wasn't  as  bad  as  you  think,  clark.  tell  me  what  happened.  ”

 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫  𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥     →  @nosuperm4n .

[moved-nosuperm4n]

" i wasn’t a teammate on that field today, mom — i was fresh blood, the new kid, their own punching bag, " he explained. " and it kills me is that i don't get to fight back because i'll hurt them. — it's not fair..." he didn't say it but he did think it: part of him wanted to hurt them.

[notmorbid]

how not to drown...

dialogue prompts from how not to drown in a glass of water by angie cruz.

you think there's hope for me?

things are bad. more bad than bad.

maybe you're too young to remember.

you look like a teenager.

do you have a sister?

we are two apartments, but one house.

in the beginning, we were happy.

it was only one time.

i did it because i wanted to change my life.

that's what we do: we step in the shit on purpose, so we have to buy new shoes.

don't worry. i'm okay.

a job that doesn't destroy me would be nice.

you are so serious today.

it's my responsibility to keep you safe.

you didn't think of the consequences.

i keep my commitments.

i can't remember where i live.

of course i'll be okay. what other choice do i have?

fall for the men who love you more than you love them.

i prefer to be alone than in bad company.

maybe you can trick everybody else, but not me.

do you go to therapy?

capricorns are solid, like a tree.

we were never children.

in this life, if we are not careful, people take advantage of us.

eventually, everybody has to come home.

when you need each other to survive, you forgive. that's the way it is.

i've been looking for you. i was so worried.

i can't believe you didn't trust me.

you have no idea what's happening to me.

i was afraid to tell you.

women know even the things we do not see.

there is never rest for the poor.

nothing good comes from calling the police.

what kind of life is this?

it's better to have faith in something than nothing.

i was sure we were all going to die.

i haven't been with anyone since ____.

you can tell me anything, and it's secure with me.

the less you say, the more the people listen.

like i told you, mercury is in retrograde.

i don't want to hear that things will get better.

in this life, you have to be lucky.

if something happened to you, i would die.

your ____ must be really proud of you.

people will get the wrong idea.

so many things can go wrong.

people say it's not possible to change, but i changed.

we must talk, or else we will get sick.

if we don't talk about something, it goes away.

when it rains, it pours.

every little thing is a big thing with you.

you have to learn another way to love.

you could start by apologizing and meaning it.

we must not wait to live the life we want.

you must find a way to be present with the people you love.

freedom is being able to live your truth and not needing to apologize about it.

in this world, all you need is for people to give you a chance.

[venustrapearch]

" you think that's brutal proofing ? " disbelief heavy on her tongue, arms fold across her chest as she follows close behind him. " clark, if you think this is brutal, you have no idea what you'll have on your hands once you have to start writing real, daily planet level articles. you know, the stuff people actually buy the newspaper for ? " not to burst his obit bubble or anything. " you might as well take cover now, soldier, because it won't be pretty. " a blunt reality check she doesn't bother to filter. " you need to organize better. & i'll help you, but don't expect me, or anyone, to hold your hand. this is the part where you suck it up & do the work. " she pauses, a breath expelled, softening her edges just enough to get a more important point across. " i want you to get better, you know that, right ? "

[moved-nosuperm4n]

as much as he hated to admit, he couldn't argue against the truth — especially when she was being polite about it, too — by lois lane standards, at least. he tilted his head in quiet acceptance as he took a seat at his desk. " if you want me to get better, then let me be part of your next reporting assignment, " he said, meeting her gaze with quiet earnestness. the desk work was tedious at times for someone who was accustomed to movement, especially when he was wrapped up with his assignments early. " i can be more useful in the field— with your guidance, of course, " he noted, deliberately weaving in a compliment to win her over — not that it wasn't the truth, anyway.

[prettydead]

⬥ ⬩ It wasn’t the first time Pamela’s autonomy had been taken from her. To be snatched by scientists and turned into a lab rat. Metahumans were used as a commodity, more than the population might want to admit to itself. It just made her abhor humanity even more. Aberrations that needed to be exterminated – for the sake of the earth. In and out of consciousness it was difficult to form an escape plan. 

      From what she gathered, they were studying her connection with The Green. Eyes fluttered open as she was lifted from her drug-induced fog. Ironic laughter escaped her lips as the stranger came into view. Cute but seemingly non-threatening towards her. Perhaps she could use this to her advantage. Nothing at all like that infuriating bat. Who was no better than some of those whom he prosecuted. There was a reason why he was a vigilante and not a hero. “Hey Golden Boy…Care to get this flower some water? I get awfully nasty when I begin to wilt…”

pamela isley/poison ivy starter call.⬥ superman ( @nosuperm4n )

[moved-nosuperm4n]

the air was thick with the acidic chemicals designed to keep anyone out of the restricted wing of the lab — anyone but him. the drug in the air slid over him without effect, as he brushed past the guards in a flicker without them even noticing before getting knocked out by a streak of blurry blue.

he found the unknown woman contained within sterile white walls, lit by a harsh overhead glare, held down like a lab rat. he broke the lock as if it were paper and entered the room. at her words, he stepped further, taking a closer look at her, ocean blues capturing her gaze momentarily before ripping her constraints in a single, swift motion.

" let's get you out of here first. then, you can drink all the water you need," clark offered, his tone gentle, almost as if to bring her a sense of comfort in the fact that not all humanity was cruel. the decision was made without thinking twice about it. he had been given a warning about rescuing her — the doctors claimed that she was dangerous ; but clark didn't stick around long enough to listen. after all, how could he turn his back on someone who needed help? hands reached to offer assistance before inquiring, " — can you walk? "

[billykcplan]

DAVID CORENSWET & LUCY BOYNTON ↪ The Greatest Hits (2024) dir. Ned Benson

[smallvillecentral]

CLARK KENT SMALLVILLE | 9.08 - "Idol"

[sm4llville-a]

he'd almost forgotten what it felt like to carry so much anguish in his heart. clark's face softens at every word his counterpart speaks, hit with the unforgiving hooks of familiarity, each blow more striking than the last. there was so much about his adolescence he'd let stay in the past, so much that had changed since. for each person, a different truth he cannot unfold.

the girl you're in love with isn't the love of your life, but she will be your best friend. you don't have to lie to chloe, it will drive her to places she never should've been. there's no one you can trust more. peter disappears from your life, a person who never should've known your secret. dad — dad loves you more than anything. enjoy your time with him.  and lex . . . god, when was the last time he'd ever said lex's name like that? when was the last time he could consider lex luthor a friend?

it's almost too much to bear. there's a lump in his throat, a clenching feeling in his heart. more than anything, he wishes lois was here. she'd hold his hand, know exactly what to say. what to do. in a couple years, that boy would know what that was like too. he'd know a world with lois lane in it, and the yellow sun would shine pale in comparison to her.

blue eyes take on a new shade; clearer, deeper. a single tear escapes his right one, trickling down his cheek. clark only comes to realize how his body betrays his emotions then, taking a moment to recompose himself and wipe it away. " i'm sorry, i —  i forgot how much pain we —  you were in. " he didn't, not really. loneliness still haunted him in ways no one else could understand, but his FAMILY made it easier now. there were less questions to contend with. " but there's something else you forgot too. "

clark approaches his younger self, a hand firmly clasping the side of his neck, palm framed against his face. it's what dad used to do, what he'd picked up to comfort his own children. " you are not alone, clark. " he captures the other's gaze with his own, his free hand upon the boy's other shoulder. " i know you feel like you are, like you're pushing everyone away, but you're not. the people who love you are not going anywhere. you are a good kid, a good man. you're doing the best you can with the hand we got dealt, and that's the bravest thing you can do. your secret is important. your secret protects them. and they'll understand that. clark, you've got a great, beautiful life ahead of you. a life that starts in smallville. you can't run to metropolis; your time in smallville will make us who we are, and we shouldn't run from that. remember what pa always said? " a flash of recognition between the two, he nods gently.

" we take care of our own. you're taking care of your friends and family, and they are taking care of you. that's what you need to hold on to. it's why you and me, we always hold on to smallville. " he nearly gets choked up, the last words he hears from pa before taking up his mantle. clark smiles shakily, then pulls the kid into a tight hug. " you're gonna be fine, clark. this feeling won't last forever. you'll be so happy, pal. you have no idea. "

[moved-nosuperm4n]

the boy leaned in, succumbing to his counterpart's warm embrace, allowing the tension of his muscles to loosen. it was strangely familiar, how his touch felt — how much it resembled that of his father's. for a moment, he was able to shut his eyes and daydream ; he could picture his life the way the other clark painted it for him: a great, beautiful one. eyelids dimmed his vision, as his mind started producing a scenario that aligned with the words: you'll be so happy. and he could almost see it:

clark is getting married; and his best man, lex, stands by his side; the chapel is filled with family and friends. chloe is smiling at him from the crowd; and so is his mother sitting beside her. his father is about to walk in. he offered to escort the bride down the aisle due to the absence of her father; and that's when he sees her: the love of his life; the only girl he's only ever known to be the closest thing to happiness, to love; she's walking toward him, and she is the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his entire life; lana lang.

if only he could feel it all, too. but it was all so far away and out of reach. he had nothing but an intangible fantasy that disappeared as quickly as his eyes came to open once again.

weighed by the burden of keeping secrets, tied down by the responsibility to take care and protect his loved ones, clark had very little room reserved in his mind to ponder on his own happiness ... but that was before he was zapped into a timeline where he could see himself happy; a place so distant yet so familiar where his fantasies could almost come true. ' the people who love you are not going anywhere' clark was replaying the elder's words in his head, like a mantra, like a reminder to live by, a reason to keep going. he couldn't see it as vividly as his fantasies, but he could almost feel it more intensely than anything that his own mind had ever generated before.

as he was coming back to his own senses, mind safely returning him to the current present future, clark squeezed his eyes shut one last time and hugged the other as a gesture of a thank you. there was a brief moment of recognition, of acceptance, of bliss, before he pulled away. " —sorry... " his voice came out in a low murmur. he wasn't sure what exactly he felt the need to apologize for, the emotional breakdown, the reminder of a past full of pain, his disruptive presence ... he had a lot to pick from. he retreated backward a few steps, hands shoved in his back pockets, head held down; he wiped a tear that rolled down his cheek with the back of his hand. he rarely cried ; he didn't even expect to get so emotional. it must have been the safety net of the other's presence; he felt safe to feel vulnerable.

in an ideal world, he could have it all. but as the fear of risk slowly faded, a new kind of alerting thought came to disrupt him — he was afraid of making the wrong choices that could drive him away from the path he was meant to be on. if the other clark never visited the future like he had, what were the chances of him experiencing the same life? he had felt a fleeting sense of reassurance at clark's words, a kind of calm that almost let him breathe, as if his head was held above water after drowning for too long. but the comfort cracked as panic crept in, tightening his chest and quickening his pulse.

his voice broke through the spiral, uneven and strained, "—what if i messed my chance up? — w-what if i changed my own future just now and ruined everything you've achieved? you told me you never went to the future at my age. " he tried to steady himself, to keep the tremor from his voice, but he was soon starting to feel frantic as he drew labored breaths. " — i shouldn't be here... — " / @sm4llville

[venustrapearch]

the radio silence had been deafening. it always feels like there's something deeply wrong in the universe when they don't talk, even if it's just for barely forty-eight hours. & she has no intent to freeze him out. but she doesn't know what to say to him, either. frustration has been bubbling just beneath the surface, knowing that the next time she sees his face, there will be no trace of the smug, impulsive person who decided to turn her world upside down on a random tuesday – there will only be clark. & his apologetic baby blues, no doubt. the knock finds her trying to keep busy, deep cleaning the oven as if it ever gets used for more than special occasions, focusing built-up energy somewhere useful. his voice is what makes everything come to a halt, gloves tossed aside as she takes a few seconds to steady herself. maybe she'd thought about him so much, all it did is summon him. chloe slowly rises to her feet, taking her sweet time to reach the door just to stall the flashback compilation cued up in the back of her head. but she can only stall for so long. deep breath in, the door cracks open & the look on his face is precisely what she was expecting. it just doesn't make her feel any less tense. " hey. " witty greetings are clearly not in the program today. " i didn't know you were coming over, is everything okay ? " not for nothing, but a new crisis is the last thing they need.

[moved-nosuperm4n]

once the door opened, he inhaled a deep breath, bracing himself, " — yeah ... " considering everything ... clark uttered, tone low and calm, despite the turmoil of emotions and thoughts in his head. he had been scrambling his brain for the right words, even wrote down what he wanted to say, only to throw his notes in the bin because it all felt too ... cheesy. she was his best friend ; he had to be able to talk to her freely, without any doubt or fear of how she might take it. after all, his only true fear lay with the potential cost that came from his past actions, and not necessarily his present apology. he wasn't going to handle the small talk for long. he raised the paper bag in his hand, forcing a half-smile, ignoring his racing heartbeat as he finally spoke, " i bought some apology bagels. — thought we could talk over breakfast if you're not busy, " he was almost afraid of the answer, but he had already committed to making the offer, and there was no turning back now. "what do you think? "

[thewrongwomen]

@nosuperm4n said ; " he's lying to you "

" is he, clark ? is he lying now ? and how exactly would you know ? got experience, don't you ? " he spits out, bitter and angry, neck veins about to burst. he's scared, he's always scared when he's confronting clark. the only thing that's his. his one and only friend. if he loses him. . . yet he cannot stop this investigation, this doubt, the venomous obsession and childlike wonder spreading underneath his skin and poisoning him whole. he sits back down on his office chair, defeated.

" is there anybody who's not lying to me, clark ? victoria, helen, my father, you. lying to me is smallville's official sport by now. i'll have to organise a tournament one of these days, get some equipment for the high school team. "

[moved-nosuperm4n]

" if there is a tournament, the rest of us won't stand a chance against the reigning champion, " clark accused, tone calm and nonchalant but with just enough edge to cut.

" i just came to warn you about what i heard, because i don't want to see you get hurt again, " he explained with a kind of coldness that he despised getting accustomed to. he hated when they fought ; because every time they did, it felt as if clark was losing him to something darker, something even more powerful than him, something he could never come from if he kept pursuing it. " believe it or not, lex, i still care about this friendship. " he reminded with a tone that remained cool and distant, yet carrying a truth that couldn’t be dismissed.

[krys4lis]

she could see it: the love in his eyes, the desire to give in. so, why wasn't it enough? what could ever be so strong as to persuade him into sabotaging their chances at happily ever after? lana had always suspected clark wasn't as fearless as he looked, but she was still at a loss as to what made him lose nerve so quick.

perplexed hazel eyes watched the puzzle unfold before her. the final pieces refused to click in place, leaving lana no choice but to accept whatever breadcrumbs he offered. she needed to buy herself more time ― and a swim around the friendzone seemed like her golden ticket to it.

a quick smile flashes her lips, a single nod sealing the deal, ❝ right, of course ― we agreed our friendship is too important to risk, and i think it's a good idea we stick the landing on that. ❞ the brunette says, retrieving her hand into her back pocket. ❝ i wouldn't be much of a friend if i sank and drowned, though, so i count on you to make an exception with mouth-to-mouth if it comes down to it. ❞ she grins, the light now reaching her eyes, ❝ so ... do you need to grab a change of clothes, or is one pair of briefs your preferred choice of swimwear? ❞

[moved-nosuperm4n]

if he blinked a few times, he might actually wake up ... how reality imitated the art of a teenage boy's wildest dreams — or at least, came close to it. he wanted to give in so desperately ; he wanted to reach for her hand and not let go. but he stood his ground, kept to himself, remained faithful to their agreement, ultimately securing the chance to keep her in his life. ' our friendship is too important to risk.' after so many years of being secretly and then, openly in love with her, he had been given the second chance to keep the next best thing — and that ought to be enough. eventually.

at her answer, a smile curved upwards, feeling the color in his face restore itself, his cheeks getting fuller as they perked up. he was relieved, more so delighted that she was still willing to stay, hang out, and be with him, even with the compromise that they both seemed to need some time to come to terms with.

for a moment, he got distracted by the thoughts that kept swimming in his mind. "—yeah. i mean- of course, " he answered matter-of-factly, for it was the easiest thing to admit. " you know you can always count on me. that won't ever change, " clark spoke softly, voice low and sincere, a gesture of a promise made, ever so effortlessly. after all, watching out for her all these years was something as easy as breathing to him.

he blinked once at the question, as he was transferred back to reality and not the dream he could have been easily mistaking it all for. " right— i should- yeah. i'm gonna go do that now, " he let out a low chuckle as he pointed awkwardly toward the direction of the farmhouse, " — meet you at your car? i'll grab us a couple of towels, too. "