My Epic Blog Full of Things People Who use Tumblr Really Care Ab

Mr Blobby & Antony Green are all that is needed in this treacherous world

[charlesoberonn]

That's not how demographics work.

[steakplissken]

It could be if we’re all brave enough

[wizlor4]

Reblog to turn everybody gay by 2047

[theradicalace]

as always, xkcd has a comic for this

[the-real-gmail]

WE ARE WINNING

[valtsv]

girls go to college to get more knowledge. men go to svalbard to die in the polar night.

[valtsv]

wait fr

oh my god

[valtsv]

men when they die in svalbard

[loyalshipper]

[valtsv]

and waste fresh meat???

[beepost-generator]

I didn't think that it would be more wild, but it is. Terrifying.

[seidmadr-secrets]

Oh yes. The graveyard is quarantined.

Longyearbyen has some other nice laws, such as it being illegal to lock the doors of houses and cars (so that people can escape polar bears), or it being illegal to leave the town without firearms (so that people can defend themselves from polar bears.)

Is a pretty cool place.

[britcision]

So it’s not illegal to die there they just firmly prefer you try not to

[talisidekick]

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

[fuckingflying]

I hate linguistic anthropology. Why? One of the most influential experiments in linguistic anthropology involved teaching a chimp asl. One of the most influential linguistics is named Noam Chomsky. You know what the chimp’s name was?

Nim Chimpsky.

Fucking monkey pun.

And this is in textbooks, in documentaries, everywhere. And everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD AWFUL PUN cause of how important the experiment was. But

BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD.

[dr-dendritic-trees]

Its not just the linguistic anthropologists.

There’s a group of very important genes that determine if your body develops in the right shape/organization… they are called the hedgehog genes, because fruit fly geneticists are all ridiculous.  The different hedgehog genes are all named after different hedgehogs.  And then someone decided to get clever and name one “sonic hedgehog” because this is just what fruitfly geneticists do.

Well sonic hedgehog controls brain development, and now actual doctors are stuck in the position of explaining to grieving parents that their child’s lethal birth defects or life-threatening tumors are caused by a “sonic hedgehog mutation”.

And this is why no one will invite the fruit fly people to parties.

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

Biogeochemical scientists, upon discovering the complex mechanisms that govern the storage and use of molecular iron on our planet, decided to call this cycle “the ferrous wheel”.  We groaned about that for at least five solid minutes.

[callmegallifreya]

The phenomenon of sneezing when exposed to sudden bright light is called an Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO.

Half a byte of data is a nibble.

[i-am-dulaman]

Particle physicists went out of their way to call a particle a WIMP (weakly interacting matter particle) just because its weak so now you have physicists saying stuff like “one of the candidates for dark matter are wimps”

[demonboyhalo]

I love science

[katco-cereal]

Thank you, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I love you endlessly.

Redditors competing to make the worst volume sliders possible...

[katco-cereal]

special delivery for @soffies!!!

[autisticlittleguy]

There was a paper in 2016 exploring how an ML model was differentiating between wolves and dogs with a really high accuracy, they found that for whatever reason the model seemed to *really* like looking at snow in images, as in thats what it pays attention to most.

Then it hit them. *oh.*

*all the images of wolves in our dataset has snow in the background*

*this little shit figured it was easier to just learn how to detect snow than to actually learn the difference between huskies and wolves. because snow = wolf*

Shit like this happens *so often*. People think trainning models is like this exact coding programmer hackerman thing when its more like, coralling a bunch of sentient crabs that can do calculus but like at the end of the day theyre still fucking crabs.

[thewheatgerm]

if i know one thing in life, it’s that the jet lag vidcon roblox jackets are my fav fit and i want one

[fleshdyke]

always remember gay men are the reason we dont have to pay for public bathrooms in canada

[the-text-party]

WAIT HUH??? IM CANADIAN????? WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARS ABOUT THIS UNTIL NOW??????

[fleshdyke]

two gay men got arrested for fucking in a public bathroom but they argued since you had to pay for it it was a hotel and it was fine. their defence worked and we dont have to pay for bathrooms anymore

[hieronymus-botch]

Ok guys I know we want to celebrate victories in queer history but

1. Googling "Canada gay sex pay toilets" just brings up a bunch of reblogs of this post

2. There does not seem to have been any sort of norm of public toilets in Canada charging money to use in the 20th century

3. I am neither Canadian nor a lawyer but I find it extremely hard to believe that there is any jurisdiction on earth where charging money to use a public toilet makes it legally constitute a hotel room and therefore OK to have sex in.

[fleshdyke]

thats because i lied about this

[drtweenusgonzo]

Oh, fuck. Goodwill has so many Mask tapes

Ok, well, really they only have 3 different The Mask Animated Series tapes, but why do they have so many copies? Who donated these and why did they have them? Oh, fuck, now I have a lot of Mask tapes…

69 Mask tapes to be exact. They were all unopened. I don’t even have a VCR. Even if I did, I wouldn’t need to buy every copy they had. Why did I do this? Well, let’s get them out and play with them…

This is not very much fun.

Every tape comes with the most incredible coupon. Some tapes actually came with two, so thank you very much, packaging errors. 

The true bummer here is that these coupons expired 20 years ago. The $3 refund does not appear to be worth the effort and I wonder if anyone ever bothered. You had to buy 4 Totino’s pizzas, pizza rolls, or hearty pockets between 10/24/95 and 5/31/96, include the upc from the packages, the receipts from when you purchased those awful food products with the awful food products circled, this coupon, the proof of purchase tab from the Mask box and the receipt from when you purchased the tape during the previously mentioned dates. If anyone did this for $3, I would like to hear from you. Print out this post, take a picture of you eating the printout instead of a Totino’s party pizza, pizza rolls, or hearty pocket, and email it to me with a short story describing how you spent your hard earned $3. Anyway, I guess I’ll epoxy the tapes together and start coating them in resin.

Yes, and do something with those stupid coupons.

TOTINO’S PIZZA ROLLS SMMOKIN’! Now do it several times.

I can’t just throw away the boxes either. That would be terribly wasteful.

Surprisingly, I had more than enough tapes to do what I wanted to do, but the boxes came up short, so the other side of this had to be a little different. 

I suppose this is good, because one day I might want to know what I’m missing out on, having ruined nearly all of the precious tapes. I can just look at this side and read what the episodes were about. I think I watched some of this cartoon when I was a kid. I fucking loved the movie when it came out, so I’m pretty sure I watched this show. Anyway, what’s next?

Oh. I guess I’m really bad at taking pictures of the process. It’s a bookcase. There was only one tape I didn’t have to open.

Maybe I’ll get a VCR one day so I can watch this tape.

There’s just one more thing.

Bookcases are usually just so damn boring. 

Now I need Dark Horse to print some nice Library Editions of The Mask, because the out of print Omnibuses are Fuck That expensive online. Maybe if I hadn’t spent so much money on old tapes, epoxy, resin, glue, and christmas lights, I could buy one or two of the omnibuses in questionable condition, but then where would I put the books? I now have the perfect place to put as many Library Editions as it takes. Get on it, Dark Horse.

[depsidase]

[capnsoapy]

Britain is already one-upping the Wonka scam by making the LEGO Dashcon ballpit real

an extra hour in the brick pit

[nine-fifteenths-deactivated2024]

[calebwittebane]

no idea where i was going with this but i abandoned it at the most disconcerting moment possible

[maryellencarter]

look actually calling things that aren't the brand name by the brand name is something corporations really hate. because if it becomes common enough they stop having the trademark to the brand name.

did you know trampoline used to be a brand name? true facts. the inventor wanted all the imitators to call theirs, like, "elastic platforms" or some shit (i don't remember the specific shit) so he could keep advertising The One and Only Genuine Trampoline (tm). and then we didn't. and now nobody remembers him or his trademark.

[paulgadzikowski]

aspirin used to be a trademark of Bayer

[bastionofbibliophiles]

Per Wikipedia: "Trademark erosion, or genericization, is a special case of antonomasia related to trademarks. It happens when a trademark becomes so common that it starts being used as a common name and the original company has failed to prevent such use. Once it has become an appellative, the word cannot be registered any more; this is why companies try hard not to let their trademark become too common, a phenomenon that could otherwise be considered a successful move since it would mean that the company gained an exceptional recognition."

Examples of genericized trademarks include:

Air fryer

Aspirin

Dry ice

Escalator

Flip phone

Heroin

Kerosene

Teleprompter

Examples of trademarks that are at risk of genericization (so you definitely shouldn't use these terms; you don't want to take them away from the poor corporations, do you?):

Adrenaline (owned by Pfizer)

Allen wrench (owned by Apex Tool Group)

Band-Aid (owned by Johnson & Johnson)

Bubble Wrap (owned by Sealed Air)

ChapStick (owned by Suave Brands Company)

Frisbee (owned by Wham-O)

Google (owned by Google)

Hula hoop (owned by Wham-O)

Jacuzzi (owned by Jacuzzi)

Jell-O (owned by Kraft Heinz)

Jet Ski (owned by Kawasaki)

Kleenex (owned by Kimberly-Clark)

Lava lamp (owned by Mathmos)

Ping Pong (owned by Parker Brothers)

Play-Doh [and "Play Dough" in the UK] (owned by Hasbro)

Plexiglas (owned by Altuglas International)

Popsicle (owned by Good Humor-Breyers)

Post-it note (owned by 3M)

Putt-Putt golf (owned by Putt-Putt Fun Center)

Q-tips (owned by Unilever)

Realtor (owned by National Association of Realtors)

Rollerblade (owned by Nordica)

Scotch tape (owned by 3M)

Sharpie (owned by Sanford L.P)

Styrofoam (owned by Dow Chemical Company)

Super Glue/Superglue (owned by Super Glue Corporation)

Tupperware (owned by Earl Tupper)

Velcro (owned by Velcro Companies)

[raychleadele]

Many of this list I was aware are trademarked names but some are wild. Allen wrench? Really? Fucking POPSICLE?? REALTOR????

[bunjywunjy]

can we. go back to the heroin thing

[penny-anna]

if you've ever used the London Underground you might have noticed that it often gets uncomfortably hot. the reason for this is actually that its builders dug too greedily & too deep and as a result the trains are very close to the fires of hell. hope that helps.

[miiilowo]

i think it is unjust to deny a child their right to dig a hole motivelessly

[miiilowo]

when i was 12 i was out there with a shovel for no reason

[beeblebroxxx]

When I was in elementary school they replaced the playground substrate from sand to bark, but to do that they literally just dumped all of the bark on top of the sand.

For some reason all of us children were livid about this and demanded the sand be brought back, so the kids all sat shoulder to shoulder on their butts and used their legs to kick all of the bark back, progressing through the playground with startling efficiency. There was even a "WHAT DO WE WANT? SAND!" chant going STRONG

3rd grade teacher runs out, near tears, begging us to stop, and this is where she FUCKS UP because she says

"I don't care if you dig a hole to China just stop DOING THAT"

well we stopped doing that, and immediately began construction on The Hole

Within 3 days The Hole was about a foot and a half wide, but The Hole was DEEP. a 5th grader would hop down and disappear entirely. A mob bucket was confiscated from the janitor to deal with the the rising water problem as the hole got deeper. The sheer display of cooperation and dedication we had to The Hole bordered on reverence.

It was the highlight of the day to go to recess and resume construction of The Hole

Eventually I'm pretty sure a second grader fell in and twisted their ankle and then they put a piece of plywood over the top of the hole and covered it with sand and bark. We all forgot about it immediately and I don't remember anyone ever bringing it up again

[cpericardium]

This is my favourite interview strategy

[hyacinth--girl]

Yet again kissing the betoota advocate writers on the lips

[moodkap-deactivated20250506]

people born in 24 Are 2000 now