still thinking about how mack’s coach at shattuck looked to fourteen-year-old macklin for reassurance when he was nervous about their team losing a tight game
all the adults in mack’s life have always placed the weight of the world on his shoulders and he’s always born it without complaint. growing up, he was always by far the best player on every team, and so the responsibility of dragging his team to wins always sat with him. if mack didn’t shine, they lost. this is not something new or unique to his time with team canada and the sharks. it’s the grave weight he’s carried pretty much his whole young career. the sharks only won two games last season where mack didn’t record a point, and mack had a point in every single terriers win except one. his coaches and his teammates and everyone watching knew it. if they won, it was because of mack, and if they lost, mack believed it was because of him, too.
that kind of pressure on a kid for so long has to have had a lasting impact, and yet everyone who’s ever talked about him can’t help but gush about how kind and fun he is, how he conducts himself exactly like sid off the ice, how he cares more about the game than anyone they’ve ever met and still treats everyone so well. mack clearly still struggles with anxiety and the pressure and his emotions, and there are times when he can’t hold it in and it ruins him a little, voice cracking, eyes watering, everything bursting through the cracks as his body shakes and he can’t seem to keep how upset he is at bay, but he’s always quick to compose himself after and stuff everything back down behind an “i’m okay, i was made for this, i can handle it, this is what i was built for” mask as he smiles again and forces himself not to express any insecurities out loud, knowing that the next day, the cycle will repeat again. everyone will rely on him again. and he can’t afford to let them see how desperate he is not to let them down. and how responsible he feels whenever he isn’t enough
