My tumblr lowk tweaking out, I was not supposed to post that until next week. (I literally scheduled it for next friday ig it glitched or smth..) And tumblr needs some mordernising bc why can’t I just put it back into my drafts? 😵💫 I swear I’ve had this account for 5 years but it feels like I got it yesterday with how much of a newbie I still feel on this app 💔.
The one and only gemstone store in town, displaying a plethora of many different kinds. From gemstones that can enhance your luck to ones that can make your long-time crushes fall deeply in love with you, we have them all!
With each unique gemstone, it comes with its own personalised purposes. Take your time to admire and learn about what energies these gemstones can bring, and find just the right one you need for your predicament in life.
.✧ ݁˖ Peach Moonstone
⟢ Enhances creativity, boosts self-worth, and attracts a partner who loves your unique self-expression.
∿ Pairing. Cafe owner!huang renjun x author!reader
∿ Content. Fan to lovers (Renjun is a huge fan of your books).
Renjun had always been a book worm, and his favourite books were those written by you. Even though you had never revealed your face to the public, he imagined you to be beautiful, perfect, and exactly his ideal type. Parasocial? Possibly. When one day a clumsy girl with glasses perched on her nose and a laptop in hand stumbles into his cafe, settling inside the cosy confines with a coffee by her side, Renjun finds himself being drawn into your orbit. And as you started becoming a regular customer, the two of you gradually form a bond. Lucky for Renjun, his favourite author is closer than he thought.
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.✧ ݁˖ Malachite
⟢ Expels fear, promotes bravery, and provides courage to step out of your comfort zone.
∿ Pairing. Best friend!lee jeno x fem!reader
∿ Content. Childhood friends to lovers. Love letters. Sorta secret admirer au.
From the number of eyelashes in each eye, to the number of times you blink when you feel flustered, surprised or angry. It felt like he had an entire encyclopedia dedicated to you in his head, Jeno could never stop documenting every little thing that you did. What had once been platonic had started to grow out of hand with every glance, every laugh, and every single moment spent in your presence. Afraid to ruin the delicate friendship, he had never done anything about his feelings for over a decade. Though, Jeno has officially grown tired of being just friends, he is determined that this is the year he would confess his overwhelming feelings for you, especially with prom coming up. Okay…maybe he was still a little scared. So what’s a better way to confess than to just say it to your face? Well, leaving love letters in your locker of course!
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.✧ ݁˖ Rose Quartz
⟢ Attracts optimism, joy, and encourages emotional healing from heartbreak.
∿ Pairing. Class clown!lee donghyuck x fem!reader
∿ Content. Acquaintances to lovers. Tutoring. Coping-mechanism-is-humour donghyuck.
After breaking up with a boy who you once thought was the love of your life, you were beyond devastated. Crying by a corner during your free periods, putting up a cheerful facade during lunch with your friends, you pretended as if you weren’t breaking on the inside. In comes the class clown Lee Donghyuck, who was the first person to surprisingly make you laugh despite everything. His failing grades meant that he needed a tutor, and that tutor is you. Between study sessions and dinners over at your place, you both slowly grew close. And when the boy who you had previously thought was a carefree, happy-go-lucky guy turns out to have a tragic backstory, you slowly started to pick up his bits of broken fragments. And somehow, you managed to learn how to fall in love again in the process.
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.✧ ݁˖ Amethyst
⟢ Encourages emotional stability, wards off nightmares, and enhances tranquility.
∿ Pairing. Doctor!na jaemin x patient!reader
∿ Content. Strangers to lovers. You both live in the same neighbourhood.
Poor work-life balance. Parents and relatives who never seemed to tire of asking when you were getting married or when they could expect grandchildren. It was hardly surprising that you'd developed insomnia. As if your already endless list of responsibilities wasn't enough, you now had to squeeze doctor's appointments into your schedule—a prospect you couldn't say you were particularly thrilled about. That was, at least, until you discovered your doctor wasn't the wrinkled old man you'd imagined, but someone impossibly young and devastatingly handsome. Suddenly, the routine visits didn't seem quite so dreadful after all.
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M.list + a/n. Inspired by the book Rise and Shine, Benedict Stone. Though I would not recommend it because it pissed me off, but the gemstone concept was cute. But anyways! This is to motivate me for uni and for an outlet to stress relief. Let’s hope I push through to commit though. Happy reading!
im currently reading rainbound and you cant know how much im enjoying it so far!!! 💞💞💞its so cute and fluffy and exactly the word i needed go be immersed in right now 🥹
Thank you so muchhh!! I’m so glad that you’re enjoying it hehe 🩷🩷
You never liked rainy days. Then a boy with a warm smile and an umbrella wandered into your life, and somehow, the storms didn’t seem nearly as frightening anymore.
Word count. 17370
Content. Dancing in the rain on the rooftop. Many walks home together under the rain. Forbidden love-ish, you are his coach’s daughter. Gets angsty at the end but has a HEA. Hella down bad Haechan, he would get on his knees for you if you asked.
M.list + a/n. First Haechan and 10k+ worded fic. I enjoyed writing this one though, heavily inspired by the song 雨爱. Took months listening to that song to finally come up with a plot that I was satisfied with that could encapsulate the whole meaning. Hehe happy reading!
Act I. Somewhere between the thunder and the quiet, I found you.
The first time you met him, it was pouring outside. The heavy beating of the rain and the rumble of thunder felt as though the sky was sending a warning–one in which you were oblivious to.
You had been cooped up in the school library, immersed in studying about body systems and cells after the disappointing failure in your previous quiz. Time flew by quickly and little did you know, you were leaving the school building late at night when the librarian had came to chase you away.
You hadn’t even realise that it was raining, not until you fully exited the confines of the school and your body froze instinctively. It was like your body knew it was raining before your brain did, heart spiking and eyes darting side to side as you examined the battlefield. You hated the rain, the thunderous claps that resounded a little bit too loudly for your liking. You flinched when a particularly loud thunder echoed.
With shaky hands you managed to grab your umbrella from your bag, yet continued to stand still with it clutched tightly in your hands. You debated on cowering back in school. Perhaps you would just stay in school until it passes, if it continues until morning then so be it.
You were about to turn back into school when a voice spoke from beside you, “are you okay?”, your eyes shot up. The boy beside you frowned as he looked at you, concern evident in his gaze. His eyes trailed from your hand—tightly gripping your umbrella—to the tension lining your shoulders. His hood was pulled up, his hair slightly ruffled yet somehow still effortlessly neat. He had, admittedly, very pretty eyes.
For a second, you had been in a trance until you were brought back by a piercing scream of thunder, making you jump and let out a shriek. Your cheeks reddened in embarrassment from your cowardice, already knowing that he was probably going to make fun of you.
He did none of that.
“I can walk you home,” he simply suggested. “I promise I’m not a stalker, kidnapper, nor a murderer,” he continued, as if predicting what you were going to say when you parted your lips. You struggled with words as you processed what he said.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s not a big deal,” he replied. He took a step towards you, gently turning you around to face him. Squinting in concentration, he raised his hands, carefully tucking your hair behind your ears before taking the headphones around his neck and placing it over your ears. The world immediately fell silent as melodious, calming music filled your ears instead, as if the downpour was from another world.
“Good?” You read his lips as the noise cancellation worked its magic at silencing him too, you gave him a small, shy nod and his lips tilted upwards in satisfaction. He turned away, opening his umbrella, prompting you to do the same.
Surprisingly, you found your heart calm as you finally stepped out of the shelter, him following closely behind with his own umbrella. You felt less alone, and it helped that the soft tunes playing through the headphones replaced the loud roar of thunder.
Soon enough, you arrived home, letting out a sigh of relief as you reached the sheltered entrance at your front doorstep. You turned around once you closed your umbrella, removing the headphones from the top of your head. The world became clear again, the loud thudding of droplets falling on rooftops, the constant low voices from the sky. Despite all that, you managed to smile.
The boy stood in front of you, still under the rain, holding up his umbrella. You handed his headphones back. “Thank you…” you trailed off, not actually knowing his name.
“Donghyuck,” he finished for you.
“Well, I’m y/n, thanks for helping me,” you gave him an appreciative smile to which he simply nodded in acknowledgement.
After a beat of silence, Donghyuck turned around and walked away.
Act II. Some love stories are meant to begin with storms.
School the following day had been as boisterous as the day before, everyone raving about the ice hockey game from two days ago. The school had won, and apparently it had been a miracle considering that they were up against one of their top rivaling schools. It was getting annoying to be constantly reminded of it, if you were being honest. Your dad had came home with the widest grin on his face, clearly in a good mood and went on and on about the entire game. You were happy for his success, truly, but it got a little long-winded towards the end as the hockey terms blurred together into a jumbled mess in your brain.
“Listen. I know I shouldn’t watch any hockey games as a loyal friend of yours, hockey team coach daughter or whatever. But everyone has been non-stop with their chatter about some new rookie with god-given talent that curiosity got the better of me,” Aria, your best friend, started rambling. “Holy hell he is really good and more importantly, he is hot.”
“Curiosity kills the cat,” you could only reply, not really interested in anything hockey despite your dad’s occupation. Even while your surroundings had always revolved around hockey, you always made sure that your world didn’t.
“Well, his looks can certainly kill me for sure, so you’re not completely wrong about that,” the latter swooned. “Did you know that it was his first game of the season and he already scored a hat trick? And it was against one of our biggest opponents. No wonder everyone has been talking about it for so long.”
“Well, good for him,” you vaguely replied, munching on the watermelons you had packed to school. “Seriously though, my dad has been going on and on about it so I already know everything about his amazing talent. He wasn’t sitting on the benches only because one of the seniors got injured, guess he really seized the opportunity,” you added, just so you sounded like you had been engaged in the conversation–though, you were really just zoning out.
“Anyways, Haechan is really hot. Like really swoon-worthy so I get the recent hype, together with his talent, he is really the epitome of ideal type,” Aria gushed before collecting herself. “Okay anyways that’s all I have, I will officially be back in loyal best friend mode and not talk about hockey,” she put on a poker face, which didn’t last long before it broke into a grin. “But he really is hot.”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh wow, he must be really ugly,” you deadpanned before cracking a smile at the latter’s exasperated face. The two of you continued talking until the bell rang, signalling the start of the next period.
You had gym class alone–much to your dismay–so you snuck out. It was not new for you to skip the period to study; the goody-two-shoes in you didn’t seem to apply to physical education. You surreptitiously exited the indoor stadium while everyone was distracted, heading up to your sanctuary–the school’s rooftop.
To say you were bad at biology was an understatement–you were terrible at it. Your less-than-ideal grades on the previous quiz was still gnawing at your ego. With your back against the wall as you sat down with your notes on your lap, cool wind blowing calmly in your direction, you started revising and understanding the concepts. You couldn’t afford another failure. You needed a scholarship, and to earn it, you needed every grade to be impeccable.
Unbeknownst to you, Donghyuck had similar ideas. The only difference was that he was having a free period, his wired earpiece in his ears as he softly hummed to the song while climbing up the stairs to the roof. What you had previously thought was a secret spot was not so secretive after all.
The door closed behind him with a soft bang, startling you as you had not expected anyone to be up here. Your eyes shot towards the entrance, surprised to find the same set of eyes from yesterday.This time, he was wearing glasses, the hood of his zip-up hoodie was down, in place of his headphones was a set of wired earpiece.
“See something you like?” there was a lilt to his voice that hadn’t been there the day before, his words taking a teasing tone as his lips curled up in amusement.
“Wha– What the hell are you doing here?” you sputtered, turning your head back to face the front in embarrassment from having been caught staring at him. The contrast in his personality was striking, he seemed serious when helping you yesterday, not teasing nor playful.
He shrugged, settling down beside you, grabbing one of your notes that was splayed out messily on the ground. “Mmm…Biology my favourite,” Donghyuck hummed.
That got your attention. “Really? Are you good at it? Would you mind tutoring me?” you asked excitedly, thinking that perhaps this might be a perfect solution for you to buck up.
“My favourite subject to skip,” he clarified, breaking into a grin. “You’re cute when you get excited,” he laughed, ruffling your hair endearingly. You were supposed to be annoyed, and yet you could only feel shy after his off-handed compliment. The boy seemed really easy-going, carefree.
“You’re really different from how you were yesterday,” you muttered, snatching your paper back from his hands to busy yourself. “I preferred it when you weren’t making fun of me.”
Donghyuck turned to you, squinting at your face in concentration as if he was trying to remember something. “We met yesterday?” he asked. Your face dropped, blood rushing to your cheeks as awkwardness seeped in. You were just someone he helped, of course he wouldn’t remember you, you thought.
“Uh–nevermind.”
And there goes his beam once again. He was honestly quite a convincing actor. “Gotcha! You should have seen the devastation on your face, y/n,” he teased. Humiliated, your lips tilted downwards, not finding any of this funny at all. You shoved your things into your bag, zipping it up and was prepared to leave but was stopped by him grabbing your wrist. “Wait. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you mad,” his eyes glimmered with guilt now, all hints of playfulness gone. This version looked more like the version of Donghyuck that you had encountered yesterday.
“It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not. You’re hurt and I’m sorry. I should have thought that through, I know we’re barely even friends to be joking around like that so quickly,” Donghyuck frowned. “I was just having a bad day and you seem like you’re having a bad day too. So let’s have a bad day together, sit down. If anything, I should be the one leaving because you were here first.”
He dropped his grip around your wrist, patting the spot that you were previously sitting on. Hesitantly, after weighing your options between sitting back down or going back inside and potentially be caught by a teacher for skipping lessons, you sat back down. Though this time, you didn’t take your notes out again.
A moment of silence passed before Donghyuck offered you one side of his earpiece. You raised a brow in question, but accepted it anyway, placing it in your ear. He restarted the song he was playing, the same soft tune from yesterday filling your ears. No lyrics, just instrumentals with someone humming a melody, as if it were an unfinished song. Even so, it was soothing, the voice like sunlight breaking through clouds after a storm.
“What song is this?” You asked curiously. Donghyuck seemed abashed by your question, lips parting yet no words escaped as if he did not know how to reply, a tinge of red colouring his ears.
“Well…um…It’s a work in progress,” he replied, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Actually, I made it,” he admitted. Your eyes widened in shock, glancing up to meet his eyes. “Yup, I just haven’t yet figured out what the lyrics should be.”
“For what’s worth, it’s really good,” you complimented, slightly in awe that he could compose such a catchy tune.
Donghyuck felt a little bit shy at your words, and also a sense of relief. You were the first person he had ever allowed to listen to his music, he didn’t know why but hearing your opinion mattered to him more than he realised. He hadn’t even realise that the song playing through the headphones was his until he took them back from you yesterday.
You started humming to the melody and that placed a small smile on Donghyuck’s face. You were just a girl he met yesterday under the rain, yet watching you appreciate his work made his heart skip a beat. Maybe it was because it was his first time letting anyone into this side of his life, the side that no one knows about. The sunlight highlighted the freckles across your face, your expression peaceful. Donghyuck decided that he preferred you like this–content, tranquil, ethereal. Ethereal? Well…maybe you were a little breathtaking to him.
The two of you had some small talk, getting to know simple facts about each other until the bell rang indicating the next period. You had been so absorbed in conversation with the latter that you only realised that it was drizzling when you stood up. “Oh, it’s going to rain,” you mumbled, eyes darting up to look at the darkening sky.
“Just in time then, time to head back indoors, sunshine,” he opened the door for you, bowing down and lifting his hand in a dramatic gesture that seemed to say ‘ladies first’.
“Sunshine?” you raised a brow questioningly, entering the confines of school once again.
He shrugged like it was nothing, making his way down the stairs, pausing right at the door leading to the hallway. “Can’t remember your name,” he joked before disappearing through the crowd of students. This time, you weren’t offended because you knew he was just kidding. If his words itself wasn’t obvious enough, the twitching at the corners of his lips would give him away.
For the first time in your life, you hadn’t immediately ran for shelter at the first sign of rain. Perhaps you were a little enamoured by the boy, from the glint in his eyes to the thoughtfulness of his actions distracting enough to blur the world around you.
And maybe your heart warmed a little at the thought of him.
Act III. Coincidence or fate? We always meet when it rains.
It had been a few days since it last rained, and you wished for that streak to last much, much longer. Luck wasn’t on your side today though, or maybe it was, depending on how you saw the situation. You were already cooped up in your room this time–thankfully–though the screams of thunder from outside was still merciless.
Out of all days, your dad had decided that today was the perfect day to invite his players over for a ‘team bonding’ dinner. Their boisterous laughter resonated throughout the house, infiltrating the silence in your room. Maybe that was a good thing as it had drowned out the boom of thunder significantly enough for you to not be as affected.
There was a few minutes of peace where you thought that maybe this wasn’t so bad. You could get through this without going down to grab your airpods that you left in the kitchen in your haste to hide out in your room when the first of many players had arrived.
And exactly at that moment where you think that it will all be fine, the gods decided to start playing their tricks.
The storm seemed to get heavier, the sound of thunder gaining volume while the noise from downstairs seemed to have quietened. Even under the comfort of your blanket (and an army of soft toys guarding you), it was inadequate against the onslaught of thunder. Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to get yourself to calm down, breathing in and out to ease your anxiety but to no avail.You had never mastered the art of being unaffected without the help of anything noise cancelling, or anything that could simply drown out the noise.
You laid there for a few more minutes, hand tightly clutching your phone as if it were a lifeline, the video playing already falling on deaf ears, tuned out by your mental prayers for the storm to dwindle. Eventually, you sighed in exasperation, deciding that you can’t go on like this until morning and at least it wouldn’t be quiet and dark downstairs when you went to grab your airpods if you did it right then and there.
Once you’d collected yourself, you rose to your feet and padded quietly toward the door. Carefully, you peeked over the stair railing, spotting the team gathered in the dining room, laughing and eating together. Perfect, you thought, already mapping out your route to the kitchen just beyond. Undetected and quick—that was the goal. The only challenge would be slipping past the dining room unnoticed.
With determination in your steps, you followed the steps that you pictured in your head. Steeling yourself when a roar of thunder came through, and biting down on your bottom lip to prevent a squeak from giving you away. It was laughably easy, your lips curving in victory when you got past the dining room and turned the corner into the kitchen.
That was your mistake. A miscalculation on your part, for the kitchen wasn’t in fact empty.
“Sunshine? What a lovely surprise,” Donghyuck mused, one hand holding a drink and the other his phone. His eyes raked over your figure, from your bare feet to your sweatpants and hoodie, the corners of his mouth twitching at your messy hair like he was holding back a laugh.
Inwardly, you groaned, scolding yourself for not having thought of checking whether the coast was clear in the kitchen itself. You assumed that the group inside the dining room was large enough for an entire hockey team, who knew that there was one more extra lurking around elsewhere (for example, ahem, the kitchen?).
You had to admit, you didn’t look your best right now and that was slightly embarrassing in front of the boy whom you had recently got to know. “Will you keep it down?” You hissed, walking towards where he was–not purposely, your airpods were right beside him. “I’m trying to avoid being spotted by any players right now…wait are you a hockey player too?” you eyed him up and down now, analysing his physique. He had a relatively slender build that you wouldn’t peg for a hockey player.
“Yup I am,” You scoffed at that. Just your luck, you ended up entwined with a hockey player once again. The latter didn’t take offence to your expression though, in fact, his eyes glinted with amusement as he watched you. “What’s wrong with hockey players?”
“Oh nothing, just that the previous time I became friends with one of my dad’s players he ended up dating a popular girl and started bullying me for absolutely no reason at all. So now I kind of just get an ick from hockey players,” you explained dryly, snatching your airpods from the table and turning around back the way you came from. “Enjoy your dinner,” you waved.
“Wait, I can walk you back to your room, it’s raining aren’t you scared to go back alone?” he stopped you with a hand on your wrist.
You jumped away from him as if you were struck by lightning. “Seriously, I might be scared of the rain but I’m sure I’ll be fine walking max 30 seconds to get to my room. Thanks for your concern though, have fun bonding,” you went on your way to the door but froze when you heard a voice call out from the dining room.
“Haechan! Hurry up and come back you don’t want to miss this.”
“Coming!” The boy behind you called out. You stopped there dead in your tracks, colour draining from your face as you processed the newfound information.
Slowly, you turned around, looking at Donghyuck with an entirely new light. “You’re Haechan?” You asked, your tone coming out accusing. Eyes narrowing to his face, a flash of hurt passing your eyes. “You said your name is Donghyuck,” you added weakly. You didn’t understand why you were so upset over this, you barely knew this guy and yet the most basic thing about him you did know was a lie? And he was the famous star player rookie that everyone had been talking about in school. Aria wasn’t lying then, he is undeniably good-looking, perhaps devastatingly so.
Donghyuck’s heart dropped in his chest, a tinge of guilt caused his throat to constrict, lips tipping down at the hurt splashed across your face. He didn’t like being the reason that you were sad. “I didn’t lie to you, not exactly,” he started, “my real name is Donghyuck, Haechan is just a nickname that most people call me or know me for. It has always been hockey player Lee Haechan, not hockey player Lee Donghyuck.”
“Hae—Y/N? What are you doing in the kitchen?” Your dad appeared in the doorway, his gaze shifting from your downcast face to Donghyuck, whose hand was still outstretched as if he’d been about to reach for you. “What’s going on? Did you hurt my daughter?” Your dad fumed, standing with his arms akimbo as he glared at Donghyuck.
It hadn’t yet clicked in Donghyuck’s head that you were his coach’s daughter until then and there, recoiling as he realised the implications. “I’m sorry, coach,” he simply said.
“It’s okay dad, he didn’t do anything,” you said in an attempt to placate your dad. “We were just talking and I was about to go back to my room and sleep so goodnight!” You flashed him a smile that worked in softening him.
“Alright, sweetie, sweet dreams.” With that, you turned and left, leaving Donghyuck standing there awkwardly with your dad, watching you go and feeling kind of betrayed that you were leaving him alone to face his wrath. However, it seemed that you had done your job well in pacifying him, your dad sighed, patting the boy on his shoulder. “You’re one of the best players I have right now, Haechan. I won’t tell you to stay away from my daughter but if you ever do anything to hurt her, you’ll face the consequences,” He warned, before smiling warmly. “Okay, let’s get back to team bonding, shall we?”
With the storm raging outside and the knowledge of you staying right in the confines of this house, Donghyuck hesitantly took his seat in the dining room once again. He felt bad for how the two of you left things right before your dad had interrupted, having not yet fully resolved your misunderstanding. He just had to talk to you again in school.
Despite your father’s warning, somewhere deep within his heart, he thought that any consequence would be worth it, for you.
Act IV. Frozen ice, thawing hearts.
It was late, the moon was already strung high up in the sky, hallways quiet and the library empty by the time you left. Your footsteps seemed to thunder in the silence, picking up your pace to get to the skating rink quickly to meet your dad. You had been too engrossed with a particularly challenging mathematics problem, to which your stubborn self refused to leave until you solved it. You were lucky to have a dad working with the skating team at your school. Their practices were always running late and you can study in the library in peace knowing you have an easy ride back home on those particular days of the week.
Entering the ice rink, a gust of cool air caused you to shiver. Goosebumps started to rise along your arms as you got closer to the rink in the center of the room. Making your way in the direction of your dad’s office, you felt a little anxious at the thought of potentially seeing Donghyuck.
It had been a week since the team dinner and you may have been purposefully avoiding him, still feeling hurt from his lie. You knew it was unreasonable, it isn’t as if he truly did lie in the first place, and in reality, he was only honest with you and lying to everyone else with his alias. Logically, the team should have already went home, it had already been an hour since their practice had ended, so you knew the chances of bumping into him were basically zero.
The office was just opposite of their locker room, there wasn’t a single whisper of a sound coming from there so you assumed they had all left as usual. You mentally thanked the stars for that blessing.
“Sunshine?” Nevermind. You thanked the stars too soon. Your hand dropped from the door handle and you quickly spun around, facing the same boy who you had been avoiding all week. His hair was damp from his shower and a whiff of his fresh, clean scent drifted in the air. None of that caught your attention unlike his eyes did, they had a hint of dullness in them, as if something was bothering him and he didn’t quite know how to fix it. And yet, when his eyes met hers, they shined with what seemed like a glimmer of hope.
His mouth opened and closed a few times as though he was at a loss for words, not knowing what to say or do with himself. He wanted to clear the air so badly, yet he didn’t know how to start a conversation about that, you had clearly been avoiding him and he’d rather not make you uncomfortable. “What are you doing here?” He ended up asking instead, starting with something easy despite wanting to blurt out every apology in the world and beg on his knees for you to be his friend again–if the two of you were even considered friends in the first place.
“Oh, uh I’m just meeting my dad so that we can go home together,” you answered. Donghyuck knew this was his chance, if he didn’t talk to her now, they would never talk ever again.
“You should probably wait for him to come out, he is lecturing one of us right now,” the lie easily slipped through his lips. There was a moment of silence before he continued, “can we talk?” You frowned at that, eyes darting around, debating your options. Ultimately, you knew you couldn’t get out of this one with your dad still busy in his office.
“Okay,” you softly agreed. Donghyuck let out a relieved breath, now wrecking his brain for the right words to plead his case.
“Listen. I never meant to lie by omission, it just felt right to tell you my real name rather than my alias. In fact, I’ve always disliked the kind of attention and responsibilities that ‘Haechan’ came with. God-given talents, good looking ice hockey player who would go pro. I have always preferred my real name, not that anyone cares about what I prefer or don’t,” he chuckled bitterly. “When I realise that you didn’t know who I was at all, it felt right to give you my real name. I’m sorry you felt hurt by that, I swear I never meant to hide my identity from you or anything. Please, can you forgive me? I really, truly want to be friends with you,” he spoke with a deep, overwhelming sincerity.
You could tell how genuinely apologetic he was and you honestly felt kind of bad for being mad at him for this long. It felt a little touching to know that you got to know the real him instead of his popular hockey player side. And the way he was looking at you, like your next words could either make him the luckiest man alive or destroy his entire world, sent your heart racing and your thoughts spiraling. It was the intoxicating realization that he had placed that kind of power in your hands, offering it up on a silver platter without hesitation.
You took a few steps towards him. There was a lump in your throat preventing you from getting any words out, so you could only give him a small, almost imperceptible nod. The boy’s eyes lit up at that, “really?” he asked, needing your words to confirm what you were implying.
“Yes. I forgive you and we can be friends.”
“Thank you! I swear you won’t regre–” his words got cut off and the wide grin that had taken over his face was replaced by a sheepish expression.
“Y/n? You’re here already? Why didn’t you come in and tell me?” Your dad stepped out of his office with his backpack swung over one shoulder while he locked his door behind him. “I was about to go find you after waiting for so long, I assumed you got caught up in the library or something,” he finished.
A dawning realisation that Donghyuck had lied about your dad meeting someone just so that he could talk to you made you roll your eyes and glare in his direction. “Oops?” He mouthed, guilt overshadowing his face. Perhaps it was not the brightest idea to tell a lie when your anger came from him lying to you in the first place. He was about to open his mouth and apologise again, when he saw the small, amused smile curving your lips. It felt like a cupid’s arrow struck him in the heart at the sight, bewitching him as all he could do was stare at your mouth, his chest tightening while an ache bloomed beneath his ribs, sharp and inexplicable. For the first time, he realised just how pretty you were.
“Haechan? Didn’t I tell you to stay away from my daughter?” Coach frowned.
“Yes, Coach but we are friends now so you can’t possibly be depriving your daughter of my amazing presence, right sunshine?” The boy flashed a boyish smile. He didn’t really care if his coach minded their friendship, he was going to treasure it.
Your dad sighed, knowing his antics. “Is that true, sweetie?” he aimed his question at you, you only gave him a rueful smile in response. “Fine. As long as you don’t do anything to hurt her. One tear and I will murder you, and I know how to make it look like an accident,” he threatened, eyes narrowing on his player.
“Cross my heart and hope to die, coach,” Donghyuck saluted playfully though his words were sincere. And with one last grateful smile aimed at you, he left with a slight bounce to his steps and him humming a tune as he walked away.
A quiet laugh might have escaped you, drawn out by the endearingly dorky, wonderfully ridiculous sight before you.
Act V. Rain sings against the ceiling, we skate as if the sky were silent.
A few weeks passed, the two of you were almost two peas in a pod at this point and many around the school were starting to pick up on the blossoming friendship between the two. Every lunch break was spent with Donghyuck by your side, munching on your food at the secret spot on the rooftop. Your library study sessions were a little bit more distracting with him by your side, at least until he had to leave for practice then you’d get the peace of mind to focus on studying.
On days when it rained and your dad being too busy to drive you home, he dutifully walked you home after school. Those were the days where he was quieter, handing you his headphones without a word and allowing you to listen to one of his new works or any of his old ones. His voice was soothing, amongst the pattering rain. It gave you a break, everything else became distant as you focussed on the calming melody.
Admittedly, you felt bad and a little bit guilty for ditching Aria but she always told you that she didn’t mind and that “if it were her, she’d spend every second of the day with someone who looks like that too.” Despite that, you continued to try to dedicate some days to eat with her and catch up.
☁︎‧₊˚☔︎︎
You genuinely didn’t know how you ended up here. Sitting on one of the benches by the ice rink, hands clenching and unclenching as you stared at the intimidating rink. “Here, these should be your size,” Donghyuck grinned as he held up a pair of skates, mischief dancing in his eyes as he took in your deer-in-the-headlights expression. “Oh aren’t you a ray of sunshine, you should see your face right now,” he chuckled as he placed the skates down beside you.
“Oh shut up, I don’t even know how you convinced me to do this. I hate skating,” you sighed. Just as you were about to bend down to untie your laces, Donghyuck squatted down and did it for you. “I can do it myself, I’m not a baby,” you tried to swat his hands away.
“You’re right. You’re not a baby, you’re a princess. Just let me do this for you, okay?” His voice was gentle, a softness that reached a deep part in your chest. Taken aback by his words, and distracted by controlling the rising heat in your cheeks, you allowed him to help you. His hands were gentle as he grabbed your ankle, wiggling the skates onto your feet before tightening the laces for you. His lips pursed in concentration, every step meticulous as he helped you put on the skates. Once he was done, he tapped the skates twice. “Do they feel alright? Too tight? Too loose?” he questioned.
You wiggled your feet before shaking your head. Donghyuck got up to put on his own skates before standing before you with a hand outstretched. “Well, no time like the present, sunshine. Let’s get to work,” the corners of his lips lifted into an encouraging smile. You were wobbly on your feet as you grabbed his hand and stand up on the two blades, practically waddling towards the actual ice rink. “You’re cute, like a baby learning her first steps cute,” Donghyuck snickered, his blood circulation cutting off where your death grip on his arm began.
You glared up at him as you gripped onto the side wall right before touching the ice. “You said I’m not a baby just a few minutes ago,” you said pointedly, grimacing as you tested the ice with one foot, only for it to slip making you retract your foot back into the safe zone.
“Well, okay maybe you are a little bit of a baby, but you’re a princess all the same sunshine,” he breathed wistfully. Unlike you, he stepped onto the rink without hesitation, doing a little turn before coming to face you. “Come on, sunshine. You can do it, nothing will happen to you as long as I’m here. And did I mention that I am the most talented player in school? Yup, that’s right. No better teacher than me to teach you how to skate and potentially fall in love with it in the process,” Donghyuck spoke with arrogance, his eyes dancing as he watched you.
You inhaled a shaky breath, gripping both hands tightly on the side wall as you finally placed both feet onto the ice. “Okay now what?” you grumbled, your entire weight basically leaned against the wall, gripping on for dear life.
“Bend your knees and keep your feet shoulder-width apart,” he instructed. For a set of relatively simple instructions, it was really difficult to do. Your knees shook as you tried to bend them and keeping yourself balanced proved to be a challenge. You bit your lip in concentration, trying your best not to fall. It took a few tries before Donghyuck was satisfied enough by your posture. “Now, look up, don’t look at your feet or you’ll fall. Focus on me, sunshine,” he took one of your hand that had been grabbing onto the wall, your eyes widened in panic making you stumble a little but he managed to fix you back upright.
Gradually, with one hand gliding along the rink wall and the other clasped in Donghyuck's, you inched forward one careful step at a time until you completed a full lap around the rink. The hardest part was not giving in to the urge to look at your feet. You were already sweating despite the cool air, your knees threatening to give out from the strain. “I hate ice skating,” your complaint only caused the boy to laugh. “Seriously, I don’t know how you do this while holding a stick and focussing on a puck at the same time. That’s quite crazy to think about and you’ve been skating backwards the whole time, how do you even do that,” you rambled as you gripped on the wall and stretched your legs out a bit.
“I’ve been doing this since I was five, of course it comes naturally to me now after so many years silly,” he flicked your forehead, gesturing for both your hands to hold his now. “We’ll go a few more rounds,” you groaned in response.
“If you let go I am going to kill you,” you threatened, grasping his hands tightly as he led you away from the side wall. “You know, if I knew better I would think that you’re just using this as an excuse to hold my hand,” you commented, squinting at his jovial appearance in suspicion. The more you looked, the redder his ears seem to get. “Ha! I knew it, that was definitely part of the plan,” you concluded, rolling your eyes at his bashful expression.
You did another three laps around the rink before taking a short break. It was getting dark outside, dark clouds overhead as it started to drizzle. Raindrops pattered on the transparent ceiling above the rink, the thundering was muffled in the confines of the space. Not that you noticed it was raining though, your full focus simply on the boy before you.
“Alright, one last lap then we can stop,” he announced.
“Finally.”
At first, the two of you continued as usual, with both your hands in his as he guided you along. “I’m going to let go, I think you can try skating on your own now,” he alerted you before slowly letting go, except that your grip tightened the moment you processed his words. His eyes softened as they looked into yours. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall, alright? Do you trust me?” He gently pacified. You drew your lips into a thin line before nodding slowly. “Good girl,” he said as you reluctantly let go of his hands.
Now skating on your own, you felt your heart raced in fear. It took you a while to find a balance that didn’t make you wobbly and scrambling for control over your movements. But in the end, you managed to skate by yourself. “Hey! Look! I’m doing it!” You grinned, eyes darting towards his face.
That was a mistake. You shouldn’t have looked at him because the moment you do, you were struck in the gut at the sight. His eyes glimmered with pride as he watched you, a doting smile lifting the corners of his lips. On the ice that was basically his second home, he looked like something otherworldly–natural, youthful, and serene in a way he never really was despite his laughter and jokes. Fascinated by the joy radiating from him, you forgot about where you were and what you were doing.
In that exact moment of distraction, your feet slipped out from under you. Everything happened in slow motion, one moment you were on your feet and the next you felt like you were being lifted off the ground, falling backwards. A petrified scream escaped your lips but before you could fall to the ground, Donghyuck’s arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you up towards him.
“I told you I got you, didn’t I?” he murmured, steadying you, his arm never leaving your waist. Your hand clenched a fistful of his shirt, needing something to ground yourself. Your breath came out in short, uneven heaves, the adrenaline from your close fall causing your heart to palpitate. “Come on, I think that’s enough for today,” he spoke softly, his eyes scrutinised your body, ensuring that you weren’t hurt anywhere. Your eyes were still widened in shock, hand shaking slightly and clearly not knowing what to do with yourself anymore.
Before you even finished processing what happened, Donghyuck was scooping you up in his arms. You let out a squeal in surprise as he cradled you in his arms while yours instinctively circled around his neck. He glided effortlessly across the ice, carrying you back to the rest area as though you weighed nothing at all. You could only stare at his side profile, from his sharp jaw to his long lashes, his eyes a warm honey brown up close. His breath fanned your cheeks, his hands clutching you firmly to his chest.
Too quick for your liking, you were placed down on the bench, his warmth disappearing but not the flush that had occupied your cheeks. You were quiet as he took off his skates before moving on to unlace yours. “There you go, back to the world where concrete is the ground you walk on,” he joked, standing up from his knees after helping you put your shoes back on.
“I would kiss the ground if it weren’t full of hockey player dirt on it,” you drawled.
“Well, you’re not wrong.”
The two of you left the rink together, and just like that your bubble was burst. The world came back into focus as a roar of thunder echoed through the hallway causing you to flinch. “I’ll walk you home,” Donghyuck stated simply, a hand on your lower back which guided you towards the exit of the school. “I finished a song yesterday, you can listen to it,” he rubbed the back of his neck shyly. Forcing down his nerves, he tucked your hair behind your ears before gently placing his headphones over your head. He pulled out his finished song, playing it for you to listen as you got your umbrella out.
And just like that, the two of you walked together side by side, each with an umbrella in hand. The pounding of the rain replaced by Donghyuck’s mellifluous voice, the onslaught of droplets not as intimidating as it once was.
“It’s a love song,” was your only comment when you handed him back his headphones at the shelter by your door. The boy frowned as he thought about it, he never realised what exactly he was writing about when the words were flowing so smoothly, just that everything came out of him as he thought of you. It dawned upon him then that it was in fact a love song, his ears turning pink as he became flustered. “Do you have a crush or something?” You pressed, not knowing why your chest ached at the idea of him liking someone.
“I didn’t even realise that it turned into a love song,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Well, I guess it is what it is. The lyrics just came to me naturally, don’t let it get into your head, sunshine,” he said calmly although inside, his mind he was spiralling as a sinking realisation was beginning to unfold the more his eyes ran over her features.
“Well, goodnight, Hyuck.”
“Goodnight, sunshine. Make sure to dream of me,” he teased as he walked backwards while waving at you. You only rolled your eyes, turning your back and entering your house with a smile on your face.
Act VI. When there is rain, there is you.
The school was buzzing with energy on game day, everyone talking about the most anticipated game of the season since it was with the school’s biggest rivals. There was a long queue to enter the arena, everyone eager to secure seats inside and spending time to grab some snacks to eat as well.
You and Aria were no exception, the two of you chatting merrily as you queued up despite the mild migraine that was developing from all the noise. “Did you hear about the school dance at the end of the year? We should sign up,” Aria chirped. “You can go with Haechan, you know, your boy with those god-given looks.”
“He isn’t my boy.”
“Please, semantics. He literally doesn’t give any other girl the time of day except for you,” she dismissed you with a wave of her hand. “You should ask him to the dance.”
“What? No thanks, I can’t even dance I’m not really interested in attending it at all,” you pressed your lips together. You didn’t really think that he’d go to the dance with you anyway, you were sure that he’d ask someone much prettier and on the same social status as him to boost his reputation.
“Then, how about you attend it for me? Pretty please, we will have so much fun together, I promise!” Aria pleaded, flashing puppy dog eyes at you.
“I’ll think about it,” was all you gave her, though her victorious beam was all it took for you to know that you’d agree. She was your best friend after all, and it was only right after being so preoccupied for the past few weeks.
Conversations died off suddenly as the crowd parted to create a path for the boy who was squeezing through. “Excuse me– Oh sorry! I didn’t mean to bump into you,” Donghyuck’s voice generated whispers from the crowd, but at the same time fangirls were yelling his name. “Yes, thanks for your support. Sorry– I’m kinda in a rush to get back in time for the pre-game talk,” he politely signed some autographs, bowing and thanking fans. Thankfully, his height gave him an advantage to scan the crowd, in search of you.
His eyes brightened when he caught sight of you, now moving quicker in determination to get to you. “Hey sunshine,” he flashed a dimpled smile with a slight tilt of his head when he reached you. The attention immediately fell on the two of you, some curious while others gave her death glares, making you embarrassed. He turned towards your friend, “Hi Aria! Nice to see you again,” he greeted her as well, and your heart fluttered at that–there was something hot about the way he respected and included those you cared about despite not being close.
“What are you doing here? You’re basically risking getting mobbed right now,” your eyebrows furrowed at the thought of him getting hurt.
“Aw your concern is adorable, sunshine,” he gave a light tap on the tip of your nose. “But I came to tell you that I saved seats for the both of you, follow me.” Without giving you a chance to reply, he turned and started walking towards the entrance. After every few steps, he turned behind to check that you were keeping up, but it seemed that you weren’t close enough for his liking because the next time he turned around, he frowned at the distance and walked back to grab your hand.
Now he was practically dragging you through the crowd with Aria following close behind you. Her wiggling her eyebrows when she made eye contact with you, before eyeing your hand that was clasped in his. “Aw the two of you are so cute together,” she cooed playfully, voice low enough for only you to hear.
You could only direct a glare at her before moving your attention back to where you were headed. Entering the arena was definitely much less suffocating than the hallway outside, it was slightly cooler inside though not as much as when it was just you and Donghyuck. It did little to ease the migraine blooming, moving your head side to side to try and balance out the pain. The boy brought the two of you to the very first row, right in front of the plexiglass. “Sweet! Front row seats,” Aria exclaimed, immediately settling down and admiring the close-up view of the ice.
You turned towards Donghyuck, “thanks for saving us seats, it was getting really stuffy waiting out there for so long, I honestly have a migraine now,” you thanked, sighing as you brought a hand up to rub your temple. He examined you for a moment, not saying anything for a moment though concern flashed in his eyes. He raised his hand towards your hair, gingerly tugging your hair tie down from the length of your ponytail, letting your hair fall in loose waves.
“Is that better?” he prodded while he slipped your light blue hair tie around his wrist.
“Slightly,” you raked a hand through your hair, loosening the tightness that probably did contribute to your headache. “Thanks,” you mumbled. “You can go do your…whatever it is you do now,” you vaguely waved your hand towards the direction of the locker rooms.
“Whatever it is I do, huh?” his eyes sparkling with humour. “Well, I gotta go, hope you enjoy the game, sunshine. You too, Aria,” he lightly jogged towards the locker rooms, knowing that he only had a few minutes left to gear up. Though, somehow he felt lighter today than most other days with the knowledge of you in the crowd. His thumb absentmindedly brushed over the hair tie circling his wrist, and a fond, almost imperceptible smile bloomed across his face.
☁︎‧₊˚☔︎︎
Donghyuck was entrancing when he was in the zone, he glided across the ice gracefully, controlling the puck with such ease that had you captivated. It was like ice hockey was an art to him, not a game. Watching him for the first time, you finally understood the rave over his skills on ice. The timer buzzed, signalling the end of the game which for once, your school had easily won against your rivals all because of the arrival of Donghyuck–or Haechan when it comes to hockey. His teammates were patting his back for the hat trick he pulled off, and it was clear that he was basking in the thrill of the win.
“Oh shit,” Aria cursed as she texted on her phone, her lips turning down at the texts she was reading.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m so sorry, y/n. I have a family emergency and I need to get home ASAP, do you think you’ll be fine getting home by yourself?” Aria said apologetically, rushing to grab her purse from the chair and standing up.
“Yeah I’ll be fine, you get home quick before the crowd gets any worse. Let me know if things are okay later,” you reassured. Gratitude softened her expression before Aria ran out of the arena. You sighed as you got up from your seat, slowly making your way out together with the rest of the crowd. Your headache was a dull throb now, the game managing to distract you from the pain.
Though, maybe you spoke too soon about being fine. The moment you stepped out of school, you were greeted by a downpour. You stood as still as a statue as you stared in horror at the droplets of water cascading down rapidly. Gathering your courage, you reached for the umbrella in your bag, only to realise that it wasn’t there. With a dawning realisation that you had forgotten to put it back in your bag after leaving it out to dry at home, an unrestrained whimper left your lips.
You began to spiral as you stood there under the shelter, just mere inches away from the rain. You should go back inside and wait it out, or wait for your dad to be done and catch a ride home. You could be patient enough to wait for all his post-game meetings to end. Despite all the logical course of action that your brain came up with, your feet refused to move. It was like standing on quicksand where your legs started to feel heavy, and it was a struggle to bring it up to simply walk.
Just when you were about to be on the brink of tears from your helplessness, a jacket was draped over your shoulders. The familiar crisp citrus scent with a hint of bergamot invaded your senses, the warmth from the jacket calming you down. “You’re shivering,” Donghyuck’s voice was a whisper right by your ear. “Are you okay?” His eyes flickered over your slightly dazed expression, while his hand held his umbrella.
“Wha– What are you doing here?” You choked out.
“Why else? It’s raining,” he spoke as if it were the most obvious explanation in the world.
“But isn’t my dad having a meeting with you guys, and having celebrations for the win after?” you questioned, turning to face him. You were surprised to see his frazzled demeanor, worry creased his eyebrows, raking a hand through his already disheveled hair while his gaze searched yours for any signs that you were panicking.
Only when he was pleased with what he saw, did he reply to your question. “I’ll go back later, you’re more important to me than some stupid game,” he clicked open his umbrella, gesturing with his hand for you to do the same whilst your mouth was slightly parted as your mind still reeled from his words. “Where’s your umbrella?”
“I forgot to bring mine,” you said sheepishly once you came back to your senses. Stupid boy with his ridiculously swoon-worthy mannerisms, you should have been given an award for how fast you recovered to be able to act as normal as you could bring yourself to be.
“We can share then,” he motioned for you to hold the umbrella for a moment, taking the headphones from around his neck and placing them over your ears. It was routine at this point, the fact that he never allowed you to just take it from him and put it over your ears yourself. With a hand resting on your waist, he pulled you close to him as he held the umbrella over the two of you, tilting it more towards you so that you’d be sheltered more.
The two of you walked together, you sticking close to Donghyuck’s side. Heat crept into your cheeks as a quiet realization settled over you—you couldn't remember the last time anyone had cared for you the way he did. Tugging the jacket closer to yourself as a particularly cold gust of wind blew, you were drowned in the fragrance that was uniquely his.
It didn’t take long before the two of you arrived at your door, his hand never leaving your waist until you were in the safety of the shelter over your porch.”Thank you,” you handed back his headphones, trying to remain calm although you were dreading being left alone in your house under this heavy rain.
Instead of leaving, Donghyuck reached a hand into his pocket, taking out an ipod with wired headphones connected to it and placing it in your hand. You looked down at the device in wonder, before looking back up at him in confusion. “I downloaded all the songs that I made inside, it’s grouped together in a playlist. And there is another playlist for covers by me of songs that you like, and there is also the songs that you like but with the original singers because I’m sure you’ll get sick of my voice eventually,” he rambled nervously, his eyes darting left and right, not really seeing you although you stood there in awe as you stared up at him. “It’s a gift. You don’t have to give it back to me, I just hope it will help you feel less alone when you’re home and it rains,” he finished, finally meeting your eyes.
You didn’t know what to say, tears were gathering in your eyes as you felt touched by his gift. You closed your fingers around it, knowing no words could ever capture how deeply grateful you were, you did the only thing that came to mind. Without giving yourself a chance to overthink it, you took a step forward, rising onto the tips of your toes, and brushing a soft, fleeting kiss against his cheek.
“Goodnight, Hyuckie,” you smiled shyly before quickly turning and entering your home with the ipod clutched tightly in your hand.
The boy stood there in a trance, eyes fixed on the door, his free hand coming up to lightly graze the spot that you kissed. He felt like he needed to go and see a doctor to make sure that he wasn’t having a heart attack, surely it wasn’t normal for one’s heart to pulse this fast and vigorously like the rapid beat of raindrops that fell onto his umbrella in waves.
Finally snapping out of his stupor, he turned to leave–but not before murmuring a quiet, “Goodnight, sunshine.” The wind carried the words away, though the smitten smile lingering on his lips remained.
Act VII. The rain became our music.
It was official, you and Aria had signed up for the end-of-year school dance, though very reluctantly on your part. You hadn’t dared ask Donghyuck if he would like to go together, afraid to embarrass yourself and ruin the friendship in the process.
However, your friendship with him might already be slowly crumbling. Your heart felt heavy in your chest, it felt like a knife was being continually twisted in your gut. Melancholy threatened to pull you under, words in your textbook seemed to jumble together as your focus kept drifting away to the gossip that had spread across the school.
Donghyuck said he already asked someone out to the dance.
Apparently he asked Seoyeon out.
Hockey god with the cheer captain? Now that’s quite a pair.
I’m surprised he didn’t ask y/n, I always thought they were dating.
Long story short, he asked someone and it wasn’t you. And that hurt more than you thought it would, considering that your feelings for him was already growing to become such a palpable thing. You tried to act normal when the two of you hung out, but it proved to get progressively more difficult to maintain the act the closer the day of the school dance came.
Aria was over at your house, her making herself comfortable on the beanbag in your room while you sat at your desk. Your head on the table, his voice filled your ears while you stared at the ipod. For the nth time that day, you let out a sigh. “Maybe I shouldn’t go to the dance,” you mindlessly traced the frame of the device. “I probably can’t control my emotions if I saw him with someone else.”
“Screw him!” Aria declared, standing up from her position and walking over to you, removing the earphones and putting the device out of your reach. “You go for yourself and me of course, we go and have fun. Not go there just for a guy, alright?” she poked your side annoyingly until you grumbled out a reply in agreement. “Come on, let’s go shopping to find us the perfect dress for the occasion. I think we’ve wallowed in enough self-pity here.”
☁︎‧₊˚☔︎︎
Time flew by quickly, and soon enough it was the day of the dance. The navy dress you wore skimmed your figure, cinching at the waist and flowing effortlessly to your ankles. A high slit traced its way up one side, stopping mid-thigh, revealing glimpses of your leg with every step. Your hair was curled and fell in loose waves, the makeup that Aria did for you enhanced your soft features, turning them a little bit sharper than usual.
You looked beautiful to say the least, as you twirled in front of the mirror to admire yourself. “Wow, you’re actually really talented,” you complimented her.
“Please, my effort is nothing if the person herself isn’t my prettiest best friend,” Aria grinned. “Aren’t you so glad you decided to go with me, dressing up is so fun. We literally look so hot.”
You would be lying if you said that you were not nervous about seeing Donghyuck there, and that you won’t be bolting out of the hall if you saw him with his hands around someone else. He wasn’t even yours and somehow it felt like some kind of betrayal, but jealousy never made sense.
You were a bundle of nerves as the two of you entered the school hall that had been turned into a ballroom, the place was already packed with people. Music was blasting on the speakers, some people danced on the dance floor in the middle while others were snacking and drinking by the standing tables at the side. The scene was quite intimidating for your relatively introverted self, you subtly hid behind Aria’s back as she led the two of you over to an empty table.
With your head down and a lack of awareness towards your surroundings, you didn’t notice the pair of eyes that was basically drilling two holes into your figure. Donghyuck stood still amongst his teammates, finding it impossible to drag his eyes away from you ever since you entered the room. Everything else was a distant hum as his eyes greedily devoured you in that dress.
You were so pretty it hurt.
His lips parted and his eyes glazed over as he watched your timid self trying to make yourself seem smaller in the crowd, not realising how absolutely stunning you look. The most beautiful one in the room, or in any room honestly. He could never get enough of you, and it was becoming painfully clear in the way his mind spun when you weren’t around, as if he was facing withdrawals from the loss of his drug. You were an addiction to him, nothing else came close to the way you made him feel–like he mattered.
His legs seem to have its own plans, not being able to help himself but gravitate in your direction, only stopping once he is standing directly behind you. “Fancy seeing you here, sunshine,” he tried to sound normal, but his words came out a little bit too breathless to be considered anything remotely normal. You turned to face him and he felt like he had been struck in the chest again, his breath hitching as he watched you up close. He could only blink as he stared in silence, all words dying on his tongue. When a hair fell loose, he instinctively raised his hand to tuck it back behind your ear. “Pretty,” he breathed, the word escaping him before he could stop it.
You pretended that you didn’t hear what he just said, and also pretended to be blind towards the awestruck look on his face as he kept staring at you. A light flush coloured your cheeks at his scrutiny. He was dressed rather elegantly himself, the top button of his dress shirt undone making him messy yet devastatingly attractive. However, you picked yourself up and managed to get the words that had been in the back of your mind out. “Aren’t you supposed to be with your date? I don’t think she would be very happy if you came to the dance and went to talk to another girl,” you bit out, arms crossed over your chest as you tilted your head and an icy look overshadowed your face.
His face twisted in confusion at your words, finally sobering up and dragging his eyes up from the glimpse of your leg at the slit of your dress to your eyes. “What do you mean? I didn’t ask anybody out,” he blinked, baffled by your cold statement. “You should know better than to listen to the rumours people say about me all the time.”
“You…didnt?” you echoed, all the tension from the past week leaving your body. He shook his head in confirmation, frowning at the idea that you thought he could even spare a glance for any other girl when he had you.
“Is that why you’ve been so distant lately?” He took a step closer to you like he couldn’t help himself. The faint scent of vanilla enveloped him, soft and comforting, and suddenly it was all he could think about. You, you, you, you, his mind kept chanting, he felt delirious from being in your presence.
“Well…I though–”
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” he cut you off, not being able to take it anymore, he needed and wanted you alone. Maybe it was selfish but he wanted you all to himself, every day and every second, though the urge seems to be especially maddening tonight. Something about you in that dress was intoxicating, his mind reeling from the intrinsic need to have you, to do so many forbidden things that he shouldn’t be doing to a girl who was the daughter of his coach. “Sorry Aria, I’m stealing her from you. Have fun though!” he made sure to acknowledge your friend, waving one hand and lacing his other together with yours before dragging you out of the place.
He didn’t just stop in the hallway, he continued to pull you in the direction of the stairs, up and up until it became clear that the two of you were headed to the rooftop. “What the hell are you doing? You can’t just drag me out of the event and leave Aria alone, I literally came here with her for christ sakes. I feel so bad now. What are we even going to do on the ro–” you yelped in surprise when Donghyuck turned around just before the door to the rooftop, a wild sort of look glazed over his eyes.
“Will you dance with me?” His question was sweet and simple, desperation seeping into his voice. You felt a thousand butterflies explode in your stomach. Your eyes widening in surprise as he stretched a hand out for you to accept. Tentatively, you placed your hand in his and he grinned widely at that, his dimples making an appearance at the corners of his mouth. “Do you trust me?” His question came as a quiet murmur, and with you giving a short nod he opened the door to the rooftop and pulled you out before you could even process why he even asked you such a strange question.
Your answer became clear when the first drops of rain touched your face, it wasn’t heavy but it was somewhere between a drizzle and a light rain. You worried your lip as you kept up with him, bringing you to the middle of the roof. He pulled you towards him, his other hand coming to your waist. “Is this okay?” He asked, eyes scanning your face for any signs of discomfort. “I thought maybe leaving a happy memory under the rain could dissolve some of that fear of yours.”
You smiled at that. He was always caring for you. You brought both your arms around his neck, meeting his eyes and softly replied, “It’s perfect.”
The drops of rain that slowly drenched you didn’t really bother you as much as they normally would, for once your fear of the rain seemed to be set aside, a sense of tranquility surprisingly encapsulated the atmosphere instead. The two of you didn’t need any music, the song of the raindrops was sufficient enough. It was a heady feeling as you stared up at him, your eyes sparkling with admiration that Donghyuck didn’t miss, and he felt like his heart was going to explode.
The tension between the two of you was overwhelming as you slow danced, no words were spoken and yet it felt like there was a million words being exchanged amidst the silence. Your eyes subtly darted from his eyes to his parted lips, and a suddenly staggering urge to kiss him pulsed through your blood.
He was no better, his mind was spinning with thoughts about kissing you too, the pink lipstick you had on made it all the more tempting. His hand came up from your waist, trailing across the smooth skin of your bare shoulders before cupping your cheek. He lifted your head up slightly, his thumb gingerly traced your bottom lip. “Soft,” he breathed, more to himself than anything, his eyes fixated on his thumb that kept lightly dragging back and forth across your lip like he couldn’t bring himself to stop. You held your breath at his intimate touch, waiting with a bated breath for what he was going to do next. “May I kiss you?” He finally asked, his eyes dragging to meet yours with desperation laced in them, like he was close to losing the last bit of self-restraint over his animalistic needs.
Your only reply was to lean closer to him, your lips parting in anticipation, and that was all the indication he needed. Without another wasted second, his mouth met yours. The kiss was gentle, delicate and filled with every little bit of longing the two of you had for each other. The softness of your lips against his, the taste of berries from your lip balm and the vanilla fragrance that seemed even stronger now caused the boy to feel dizzy. He was drowning in you, and he didn’t think that there was a better way to die than this. His thumb stroked your cheekbone as his mouth kept taking and taking, tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss, drawing out every last bit of sensation from you with an eagerness he didn’t think he was capable of feeling. He knew he was in deep trouble, because deep down, he knew that one taste was never going to be enough when it came to you.
Eventually, the two of you broke apart, and the world came back into focus. The rain was heavier now, basically beating down on you, making your dress stick to your skin. Your lungs heaved as you inhaled air in, trying to get back to your senses after that mind-altering kiss. Your mused hair, flushed cheeks and swollen lips only seemed to make you look even more like a goddess in his eyes. He wanted so badly to repeat everything that just happened again, but he knew the rain was getting too heavy to stay outside for long. With a gentle hand on your lower back, he guided you back indoors, the rooftop door closed with a loud bang and silence followed as the noise outside faded.
The two of you were drenched, your makeup smudged and your skin sticky. You felt disgusting and yet you’ve never felt more beautiful standing there with all of Donghyuck’s attention on you as if he couldn’t bear to stop looking at you, like it physically hurts to look away. A bashful smile curved the corners of your lips, feeling slightly flustered after everything that had went down.
“Thank you for that, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that serene while standing under the rain before,” you broke the silence, tilting your head down as you looked at your feet. “You do a lot for me,” you commented, as if it was just a simple observation. His fingers gently cradled your chin, tilting your face back up until your eyes met his. There was a mixture of emotions in his eyes, tenderness and something else–something profound, something so deep that you were too afraid to name.
“I’d do anything for you.”
Act VIII. We weren’t meant to last–only to fall like rain, soft and fleeting.
The next few days passed in bliss, ever since the first kiss, it led to many more. Sweet, innocent pecks when Donghyuck saw you like he couldn’t help himself. There were other times when the kiss deepened until you felt it in the very core of your being, he kissed like he wanted to leave a permanent imprint of himself on you. And yet, the two of you still weren’t together officially, and honestly, you didn’t even know what the two of you were anymore. Friends didn’t kiss, and yet he didn’t ask you to be his girlfriend. It was confusing but you decided to let it go and watch how things play out.
Though, maybe that was the wrong thing to do. Gossip spread like a plague, with many catching on to the development of your friendship with Donghyuck, some even witnessing the kisses that you two shared. There had always been gossip, you just hadn’t realise how detrimental these particular ones were.
It was gloomy outside when you reached home one day, your dad was sat on the couch, his eyebrows furrowed with a troubled expression on his face as he watched something on his phone. “I’m home, dad,” you announced as you entered the living room.
“Come here,” his tone was serious, the kind that came before a scolding. The moment you settled down beside him, he turned and showed you the video playing on his phone. Your shoulders stiffened, your eyes widening and ears growing hot when you realised what he was watching. A video. One of you and Donghyuck kissing right by a secluded corner beside the lockers. “I might only be a coach for the ice hockey team but by no means does that mean I am unaware of what goes on in school, nor am I oblivious to what my players do outside of their time on the rink.”
“We…We’re just…” You trailed off, at a loss for words.
“Just what? Fooling around? Dating?”
“No! We’re not dating, I–I don’t know…One thing just led to another and it just…happened,” you played with your fingers nervously, scared of your father’s wrath that you knew was coming.
“Good,” that word surprised you causing your eyes to shoot up to his. “It’s not too late to cut things off with him yet,” you dad finished. It wasn’t his words that caused your heart to shatter, it was the blatantly clear disapproval he had towards your relationship with Donghyuck. The way he so easily asked you to break things off like anything the two of you had was just a minor obstacle, a temporary setback.
“Why would I do that? I really like him, dad,” you argued, standing on your feet as you started getting restless. In fact, you were so sure that your feelings were progressing towards a very different ‘L’ word.
“It’s for the best. Haechan is one of the best players right now, in fact he might even be the best. Many coaches have came to me asking about him and he is most likely on his way to be the first draft pick in the NHL. He is not going to stay, y/n,” his last words were spoken quietly, almost pitifully. “I just don’t want to see you hurt, it’s better to end things off now when it is still fresh or you’re going to face an avalanche worth of melancholy later on.”
“Can I at least be friends with him?” Your fists clenched, your whole body had gone numb as you processed your dad’s words.
“Alright. Just promise me you won’t go any further than that?” Your dad raised his pinky, the gesture so familiar, the action that seals any pact you two made ever since you were a child. With a shaky finger, you raised your own to his, interlocking them together.
☁︎‧₊˚☔︎︎
It was painful, to say the least. At first, you thought it would be fine if everything just went back to how it was before. But it became very much clear after every turn of your head just when Donghyuck was leaning in to kiss you, or the very lame excuses you made that it was harder than it seemed. Every glimpse of hurt you saw in his eyes, which he quickly composed himself of, was like a punch to your gut.
You hated that look on him.
It went on for close to two weeks, today however, he seemed to have had enough. The two of you stood right outside the school main doors, under the shelter, you bracing for the rain again. You frowned at the storm, it was much much heavier than normal, so much so that the path was barely visible.
“Well, are you ready, sunshine?” He gestured towards the incoming warzone. “It’ll be fine as long as I’m here,” he winked, an easy, reassuring smile on his lips. You glanced at him nervously before nodding, and Donghyuck thought it was the perfect time to give you an encouraging peck. He leaned down, aiming for your lips, but at the very last second, you turned your head causing him to land on your cheek instead. His fist clenched as his eyes shined with hurt, disappointment, rage. “What’s wrong?” He bit out.
“What do you mean?” You made an attempt to act oblivious, hoping he’d buy the act though you knew that was futile. You knew you had pushed him to his limits.
“Don’t go pretending that nothing is wrong, you’ve been constantly rejecting me. I thought things were going so well, did I do something wrong? Is there any way I can fix it? Is there any way I can bring back the god damn eyes that looked at me like they wanted me as badly as I wanted them?” His breathing came in short huffs, his words coming out aggressive as the accumulated wells of hurt he tried to bury floated to the surface. It hurt even more when you started pulling away the moment he was ready to formally ask you out, to be his. You were speechless, your hands fell weakly to your sides, your umbrella falling to the floor though you didn’t make a move to pick it up. “Please, just tell me what to do. I said I would do anything for you and I meant it. If you want me to transfer schools to avoid all the gossips, I would. If you want me to tell every god damn person in that school to stop giving you the cold shoulder, I would. If you wanted me to quit the god damn hockey team just so that there is no conflict of interest, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
You flinched at the last bit, it hit too close to home. You didn’t want him to give up his future for you, and if he was such a global talent at hockey, you can’t possibly let him just give it up for you.
“Y/n, please. I don’t care what it is, just tell me what I can do to get you back,” he pleaded, practically begging for an ounce of what transpired that night in the rain. For the admiration, affection, perhaps a tinge of love that he knew intrinsically sparkled in your eyes that day. Now it seemed overshadowed by something else, a load of reluctance and uncertainty that clouded your eyes. Cold. Blank. That was what he would describe it, and he absolutely hated it. “Please,” he breathed, one last ditch attempt at pulling the strings.
“I…I can’t do this anymore,” your words cracked something in him, he felt like his heart was being sucked out of his body, the beats slowing like it was going to be his last.
“Is this because you’re scared? Or is this about the rumours, or your dad? Is that it, you’re just going to give it up just like that? All of a sudden?” His jaw was clenched so tightly that a vein popped in his neck. “Do you seriously think we can go back to before the kiss happened?”
Tears clouded your vision, you hated how hard he was making this for you. You didn’t recognise him anymore, his walls were so clearly built up to shield himself against whatever you were throwing his way, his eyes a sea of emptiness. “I’m just saying we’re better off as friends,” your fist clenched by your sides as you hissed the words out.
“So you’re saying it meant nothing to you?” His voice came out steady although inside he felt like his world was crumbling. He couldn’t imagine not being something more with you, being friends just wasn’t going to cut it anymore. “I was just a fling, is that it?” He let out a bitter laugh.
“No! Of course not, you’re not a fling.”
“Then why do you want to go back to being just friends?”
“I told you, I can’t do this anymore,” you pursed your lips, fighting back the tears that threatened to run down your cheeks. It was practically a shouting match now, the two of your voices growing louder while the rain seemed to get progressively heavier at the same time. It was ironic how fitting the weather was to your current situation. “I’m just saying we should go back to being friends. We’re better off being friends.”
“So what you’re trying to say is that we should be friends that don’t kiss, friends that don’t know the taste of the other’s lips, friends that walk together whenever it rained and pretend like everything in the past never happened. A bit too late for that, don’t you think?” He said darkly, fingers running through his hair in exasperation. He hated to see the tears in your eyes, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to comfort you right now. Not when his own heart was breaking, not when a huge part of him was being ripped out and torn to pieces. A knife twisting in his ribs and stabbing over and over again, he never felt this kind of agony before.
“No!” You practically shouted the word out, tears were streaming down your face. You hated doing this to him, the fragile bond between the two of you seemed to be breaking with every word. “What I’m saying, Donghyuck, is that it is friends or nothing,” your last word came out harsh, so much so that you saw him physically recoil.
You were too overwhelmed by your emotions to hear his response, you quickly lowered yourself to pick up your umbrella. Opening it as quickly as you could, you ran off into the storm back home, without any headphones, and without him.
Act IX. It rains, and you’re not there anymore.
Friends or nothing.
Friends or nothing.
Friends or nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Donghyuck’s mind spiralled as it kept replaying your last words, spoken with such finality that he knew you were being serious. He knew he would be better off without you if that were the case. Surely anything would be better than being your friend. The friend who stood by your side. The friend who watched you fall in love with someone else. The friend who smiled, laughed and joked around with you while pretending that everything was okay, like he wasn’t already so deeply in love with you he couldn’t see any other options anymore. The friend who was relegated to stay by the sidelines, watching someone else take your hand in marriage, kiss you, love you, have a future with you like he didn’t want all of that for himself. The friend who would be loyal and content with just being there, keeping all of his urges to commit murder against the hypothetical ‘other man’ and hide the fact that he wanted to get on his knees and beg. Beg and beg and beg for you to see him.
And yet despite all the hurt that would come with simply being your friend, losing you altogether was probably ten times worse. It could be better, he won’t see you, won’t give in to the overpowering feelings he had for you, and be able to move on, eventually. Who was he kidding? He knew you were it for him, there will never be ‘moving on from you’ in his books.
If he had better self-restraint when it came to you, he’d probably make better decisions. But that was the thing about drugs, it clouded your judgement, and all you could think about was your next hit.
That was why despite the hurt, anger, resentment at the ultimatum you had given him, he still followed behind you that day in the rain, after your fight. Because in spite of everything, his soul couldn’t live without you, and it couldn’t help but worry about you. He walked a few paces away, not close enough for you to feel his presence but enough for him to make sure that you got home safe. And even with the rift between the two of you, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride from the fact that you got home by yourself, without music, without him, and with the heavy storm. Though it scared him to think that the day has came where you didn’t need him anymore, when he very much needed you like you were his oxygen.
It wasn’t really a hard choice when it came to choosing between having you as a friend or not having you at all. In a heartbeat, he would choose to be your friend. You had so thoroughly altered his entire system that he’d rather have scraps of you, just enough to get a high than have nothing at all.
For a world without you, wasn’t a world at all.
☁︎‧₊˚☔︎︎
You thought it’d be easier. You cried yourself to sleep that night, and every night since then, mourning for what could have potentially been such a beautiful, delicate thing that was so easily destroyed in the span of a day.
You selfishly wished that he would choose to have nothing to do with you, to hate you so much that he’d avoid you like a plague, wouldn’t even spare a glance at you anymore and open his eyes to see the rest of the plethora of much beautiful girls vying for his attention.You wished so badly that he would choose to want nothing to do with you anymore so that it made things easier, easier to forget about him, easier to forget how easy it had been to drown in his affection. But no, he had to be his stupidly understanding and selfless self, and choose to continue being your friend.
He appeared by your side like nothing had happened, like you hadn’t hurt him in inexcusable ways with your words, like you hadn’t broken something in him since the day you started rejecting his advances. He never mentioned a single thing about that day, not the way he stopped calling you ‘sunshine’ in the entirety of your shouting match, nor the way he shook with rage you had never imagined he’d be capable of when he was normally so jubilant.
However, everything did change after that day, and you couldn’t pretend that it didn’t happen as easily as he did. So you continued to avoid him, not knowing how to act nor be his friend anymore, not knowing how to respond to his casual teasing when there was some truth in them.
You started to hang out with Aria again, not daring to go up to the rooftop for lunch with him as usual. Not there. Anywhere but the place where everything began, the place that was filled with only the happiest memories. It felt too fragile to pollute with such negativity that you seemed to feel on the daily now.
Your best friend tried her best to cheer you up, despite not knowing what was going on between you two. You only vaguely summarised, excluding the part on your agreement with your dad, which she would definitely say to “screw that shit,” and tell you to do the exact opposite of what you promised. You felt lethargic in school, like your body was there but your mind somewhere else, every action was auto-pilot and that was probably the only reason you were still surviving school.
Despite giving Donghyuck an option to be friends, you clearly weren’t prepared for the case that he did choose that. It hurt too much to see him, he embodied everything you yearned for, wanted, loved, and then lost. On rainy days, you quickly left on your own. On days where they had practice and you were catching a ride home with your dad, you waited for him in the car.
On nights where it rained, you succumbed to your compulsions. The earbuds in your ears, ipod clutched tightly in your hand and the jacket that you never returned wrapped tightly around you. His voice flowed melodiously through your ears, and although it hurt, it was comforting all the same. The sound of his hum like a soft caress on your skin, and when you closed your eyes, you could almost imagine him right behind you, singing, his breath tickling the back of your neck. Sometimes, it felt so real that you would shoot up from bed and look around, only for reality to wash over you.
He would never do that to you. Friends didn’t sing to each other while being a hair’s breadth away. It was an awful reality to live with but it was the choice you had made.
Sometimes you wished that you could go back in time to when the two of you were dancing contentedly on the rooftop, freeze time then and there. You would have begged for the rain to never cease despite your fear of it. The rain had always felt friendlier with him there.
In school, you did a good job with avoiding Donghyuck, although he tried very hard to strike a conversation with you or to simply stay by your side. You never gave him the time of day. You could tell that every excuse you gave wounded him, though he shoved his feelings down before it could take root, giving a nonchalant shrug before saying a simple,”maybe next time then,” after every rejection.
The ridiculously bewitched part of you was relieved that he was still there when you needed him, and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to spend more time with him other than the few short ones you had.
It was so clearly your fault, but deep down, you knew that eventually he would reach his limit of his tolerance for you again. And this time, he would inevitably leave you. For good.
Act X. Fear the rain, but not me. Anything but me.
Donghyuck didn’t know what to do anymore. It felt like his entire world was crumbling around him, he was sluggish at practice, he barely had an appetite for food, the constant pressure in his chest refused to cease. He felt like dying.
He was a ball of anxiety, the only thing that seemed to remotely help was your hair tie on his wrist, the hair tie that he never took off ever since he worn it. He fiddled with it, his eyes absentmindedly stared at it, unconsciously tracing the length of it with his fingers as his mind filled with thoughts about you. You. It always all came back to you.
You were life and death itself.
He didn’t understand why, what he did wrong, why you wouldn’t let him hang out with you anymore. He didn’t know what hurt more, you making excuses not to spend an extended period of time with him or the fact that you seemed to change your mind about even being his friend. He was sick and tired of your mixed signals, so, so god damn tired. He didn’t want to be a hockey god anymore, he didn’t want to have all this pretentious people vying for his attention like being around him would suddenly give them a boost in their status quo.
He wanted to stop being Haechan. He wanted to scream that he was just a normal boy like the rest of them, that he could lead a normal life, fall in love with a girl, date her, lose himself in her. More importantly, he wanted to be brave enough to give up hockey altogether and pursue his secret little hobby in music as a career instead. A hobby that only you knew about.
But he didn’t want to do any of that anymore, not if you weren’t there by his side. Not if you refused to look at him in the eye anymore, not if you dismissed him so easily like he didn’t matter.
“I’m so sorry, Donghyuck, I have a lot to study, I need to catch up with my work in the library later,” you bit the bottom of your lip, hand gripping your books tightly to your chest. Your eyes looked past him, to the wall behind, not really seeing him despite him being right in front of you.
His fists clenched tightly, another fragment of his heart chipping away. Why did he even bother anymore? Why couldn’t he just read the room and leave you alone, avoid you like you did so easily to him? Why can’t he just stop hoping that today might be the day where you would finally try to bridge the gap that had grown between you two, to go back to some semblance of a friendship that had first formed under the rain. His soft spot for you was turning into his biggest weakness, the fact that he would willingly take jabs after jabs for you although he was slowly losing himself in the process. But despite every word in his mind that wanted to plead with you for something, anything. He tuned it all out, bottling it up and throwing it deep down somewhere in the back of his mind so that he can let it all out later when he was alone.
He gave a forced smile, eyes skimming over your face, landing on your lips for a second longer in longing. “Okay then, hope you have a good study session,” he forced the words out of his lips, taking a step back and turning the corner so that he didn’t have to look at you any longer than what he could take without touching you.
☁︎‧₊˚☔︎︎
You lied. You weren’t headed to the library at all. You were headed home, straight home right after the last bell rang. You were so exhausted, so tired from everything. So mentally and physically drained that you walked home without hesitation despite the rain. You did realise that you weren’t scared of it anymore, it didn’t intimidate you.
You didn’t know when or how but your perception of the rain slowly changed, instead of a monstrous thing, it was quiet, comforting yet relentless in a way that echoed your own feelings. It was more of a companion now.
You were just one step from entering your porch when you impulsively decided that you didn’t really want to go inside and wallow in your feelings so soon. You looked up at the sky, letting your umbrella drop to the ground and basking in the way the droplets of water soaked you. You closed your eyes, imagining that day on the rooftop where everything felt so simple. Like the rain wasn’t that big of a deal as you’ve made it out to be since young.
“When are you going to stop avoiding me?” A familiar voice drifted to your ears, it was broken, bitter. Your eyes shot open as you saw him standing there, one fist clenched while the other held his umbrella over his head.
“I’m not avoiding you.”
A hollow laugh escaped him, his eyes emotionless, blank. “Put me out of my misery, y/n.” A pause. “I told you already, I would do anything for you. If it hurts too much to have me as a friend just tell me to leave, to never spare another glance at you, to leave any room once you enter, to never dare to even think about your name in my head ever again.”
“But…but I don’t want any of that,” you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push back all the pain that came from looking at the shell of himself, a shell that you had caused.
A wild look crossed his eyes, borderline maniacal. “Stop giving me mixed signals. Stop giving me hope that I can do something to change the outcome. Stop implying that I have a chance to get you back. Just stop. I can only handle so much before I fucking break, y/n,” his voice cracked, defeated tears escaped his eyes, running down his cheeks. The vulnerability in his eyes so palpable that you couldn’t breathe. “Just tell me that you want me gone,” his words came in a whisper, carried by the wind.
He didn’t even realise that he had instinctively inched closer to you, now holding his umbrella over you both, because that stupid soft spot for you was still concerned about you getting sick from being drenched in the rain. “I can’t,” you admitted.
“You can’t?” He paused. “Then tell me that you want me to be your friend.” Silence. “Oh for goodness sake, y/n. What do you want from me.” Words were lost on you, although the answer to that question easily came to the forefront of your mind, the one thing that you couldn’t possibly have with him. “You just want me to continue being your little puppet, is that it? For me to just be conveniently there for you all the time, but never letting me come anywhere close to you,” he laughed humourlessly. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how much more I can take if that is the case. It fucking sucks being just there, you being within reach and yet barely close enough to touch.”
You hated all of this, the way he was headed towards self-destruction, the way he was degrading himself and never once saying a single bad thing about you. Like he was the one who needed to be better for you, to be patient, to do whatever you asked, to be fixed just so that he can have you. Maybe it was all of these facts that made your resolve crumble, a choked sob escaping your lips and the moment one came out, everything else escaped. Tears cascaded down your cheeks as rapidly as the rain poured, your breath coming in short, choked huffs.
“Sunshine?” His voice was so soft, gentle. Like in spite of all his hurt, he couldn’t bear to witness you being hurt, being converted to a sobbing mess because of him. Each short gasp and sob was like a stab to his heart.
“I want a relationship with you. I can never be anything less than lovers with you. I can’t even breathe without you sometimes, while other times, just the knowledge of you being alive somewhere else in the world makes breathing easier,” your confession came out in a rush, lips trembling. “But I can’t have you because you are going to be this hockey legend superstar, and you’ll be going to the leagues and probably moving to America to play professionally. And I can’t possibly be the reason that you lose all of those amazing opportunities, even if it hurts, if it meant that you’ll be successful, everything would be worth it.”
A dawning realisation settled over Donghyuck, all his heightened emotions expelled from him at your words, his eyes softening and the tension in his body dissolving. “Oh, my selfless sunshine,” his free hand came to caress your cheek, tilting your head up until you met his eyes. His thumb tenderly wiped away your tears. “Was that what your dad told you?” He mused, watching as your head nodded slightly in his hand. “Then I would tell you that I never had any plans to play hockey professionally in the first place. That my dreams were always to create my own music, to let my loved ones listen to them, to see the strength and smiles on people’s faces that my music brings. That i’ve already been scouted by companies for my music because I’m not just talented in hockey, I guess I kind of have a talent at that too.”
Your mouth parted in awe as you listened to him speak, all while he unconsciously ran his fingers through your hair to smoothen it. “You never told me that before,” you mumbled, eyes closing at the wave of tranquility his touch brought.
“Because I don’t talk about it with anyone. I’ve only allowed you to listen to them, other than the producers who are analysing my work, no one else has ever heard my songs before. And none of them have heard more of my songs than you have,” a sweet smile occupied his face. “I guess I had a thing for you since the first time we met, considering I already let you hear one of mine before I even knew your name.”
The rain had slowed to a low drizzle now, the sun making a slight appearance over the dark clouds. “So what now? I think you will need to get through my dad if we are going to establish any labels, and there is a high chance my dad is never going to approve of us being together,” you sighed.
“Do you want a relationship with me?” He brought his umbrella down now, the rain having completely halted. You nodded firmly. “Then I’ll slowly convince your dad that I’m the one for you. I told you I’d do anything you want, and if you want me by your side forever, then that’s where I’ll be, regardless of what your dad thinks.”
“And if I want a hug right now?”
“Then you’ll get a hug,” his arms circled around your waist, your soaked shirt making him damp. He didn’t care, only pulling you closer to his chest, your head tucked under his chin. Your own arms came around his waist as well, and it felt like you could finally breathe again. Your ear rested over his heart, listening to it beat, rhythmic and soothing just like his voice.
“Hey, look! It’s a rainbow!” You exclaimed, pointing towards the sky excitedly. Your eyes switching from the view and back to the boy who only stared at you fondly.
Your heart warmed, understanding slowly creeping in that a world without him as your lover was never an option in the first place. After all, he helped you get over your fear of the rain, through his quiet actions, the subtle encouragement. The quiet devotion that he had towards you, you had always known that even while you walked alone in the rain, he was never far behind. The shadow of his back as he walked away that you couldn’t resist staring at every rainy day from the peephole at your front door the moment you enter your house. It was silly that he could think that you would never notice him, from the reflection of security cameras along the way, there was always glimpses of him not far behind. The warmth of his devotion like a soft caress at your lower back, guiding you and pushing you to walk home. Always watching, always worrying, always caring for you, even when he was mad and hurting.
And then you knew. You never truly feared the rain. It was the loneliness of walking through it by yourself, getting lost amidst the mistiness that came with the pouring droplets, no one being there to help.
But knowing he was there, always just a step behind you, was enough.
From the very first time you met Jisung, you knew he was the one for you. You’ve never made that fact any less known. Though, no matter what you do, the boy simply could not take a hint. What will it take for him to finally realise that you aren’t joking around?
Word count. 5074
Content. Fluff. Thoughtful Jisung who has your favourite food prepared for you without asking. First time trying to write something more romcom-y. Cheesy pickup lines alert!
M.list + a/n. Honestly, this accidentally became a wifty (cdrama) inspired fic. Record for longest fic i’ve ever written thus far. Anyways, I hope everyone is coping well after Mark’s departure, I’ll still continue writing about him though. He is forever an nct member in our hearts 🤍
If you had to describe Jisung in three words, it would be tall, awkward, and dense with a cherry on top. Unfortunately (or not), he matched your ideal type to a tee. And you have never been subtle about that.
Don’t let his height fool you, he might be as tall as Bigfoot and possess a shyness that is often misunderstood for hostility, but he is one hundred percent just a giant, cuddly teddy bear. At least that was your opinion. Okay, maybe there was four words to describe him, tall, awkward, dense and cute.
Most couldn’t see the charm in his quiet voice, his lack of conversational skills, and his sometimes peculiar actions (like that one time when you were cooking with him at Chenle’s house, and he asked whether he had to wash the vegetables with dish soap). Like you said–peculiar. But you liked everything about him, and it wasn’t a fact that went unknown. In fact, you had been very obvious from the moment you had met him.
Year 1.
It had been a normal day of school, the sun was shining incandescently high up in the sky, you were making your way to the convenience store nearby with a skip to your steps. A light, occasional breeze was the perfect added touch to a comfortable weather.
The door swung open with a ring from the bell, cold air meeting your face as you stepped inside. Instinctively, you turned towards the aisle where your favourite pudding was located, grinning in delight as you swiped it from the rack. Just your lucky day, it was in stock and you managed to snatch the last one on stock.
Smiling to yourself, you went to queue while admiring your trophy (aka the pudding). “Ouch–what the hell, is this a back or a brick wall,” you rubbed your forehead, the words slipping out of your mouth without a second thought. In hindsight, your first words should have been an apology and not a blatant comment on someone’s back. But your mouth always ran its own course and you had never learned how to control it. Other than that excuse, your jaw had dropped when you looked up at the person you had inconvenienced.
A blush had crept up Jisung’s cheeks, his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, black hair neatly styled and he was a full head taller that you had to tilt your head up to see his eyes. “Holy hell–what in the hot nerd,” once again, a flaw you should fix.
“Uh…Are you alright?” he asked, voice deep and melodious. You found yourself nodding mindlessly, placed in a trance as you watched his throat bob. If this was what being struck by a cupid feels like, then the movies were right–it was as if the earth itself had tilted on its axis.
“Y/N? What are you doing here? Wait, is it for the pudding again, seriously you’re going to get diabetes and I would be cheering when you do,” Chenle came up from beside Jisung, eyes trailing from your love struck face to the pudding tightly grasped in your hand.
And then you did the worse possible thing. Out of everything you could have done–retort back to Chenle, apologise to the hot nerd before you, or simply, stay quiet–your mouth decided to run on its own accord. “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers,” the words slipped. Horrified. That’s what you felt. And honestly speaking? Out of the thousands of cheesy pickup lines that you knew, that definitely wasn’t your best one–it wasn’t even in the top five! Embarrassing, I know, way to woo a guy.
“No way, you like Jisung?” Chenle snickered, finding humour at your speechlessness for someone who was a yapper like him. “You should look at your face right now, holy shit.”
Jisung, so that’s his name. You finally snapped out of it to glare at Chenle, shoving him towards the counter to pay for his things before you turned towards Jisung with a sweet, innocent smile. “Is he bothering you? You can hang out with me instead,” you chirped.
You were like a moth drawn to a flame, unconsciously leaning closer to him as he spoke, as if chasing his voice. “Uh–no. It’s okay, I can handle him,” Jisung chuckled awkwardly, his hand coming up to scratch the nape of his neck.
“This is exactly why i’ve gatekeep him all this while, look at you, you’re embarrassing me,” Chenle sighed, flicking your forehead.
“I will admit, I am impressed. I didn’t think you’d have any hot friends–or any friends at all for that matter,” you mumbled the last part under your breath, eyes still trained on Jisung’s face, not being to pull yourself away now that you’ve laid your eyes on him. Soulmate. Definitely your soulmate.
The cashier let out a loud cough, interrupting the bubble that the three of you were in–or maybe just you. You quickly scurried over to pay for your pudding. Though this trophy now seemed incomparable to the new shiny trophy you’ve found (Jisung, if that wasn’t obvious). “Hey! Wait for me,” you called out, rushing over to Jisung and Chenle who were about to exit the store after paying.
You ate your pudding while the other two ate their snacks, settled at a table right outside the convenience store. “Hey, so what will it take for you to date me?” You asked blatantly, nudging Jisung’s foot under the table. Your lips curving up at the corners at the way he flinched, ears turning red in a blink of an eye.
Jisung’s eyes darted from you to Chenle in a panic, seeking for help from his friend. “Stop harassing him, dude. He is like a deer in headlights right now, he doesn’t understand your kind of flirting,” Chenle chided. “He is just a cute little boy,” he cooed, ruffling Jisung’s hair.
“Please don’t tell me you’re gay,” you choked out in a rush.
“What the hell, no way,” Chenle looked in discuss while one of the chips that Jisung had consumed went down the wrong tube, causing him to start coughing.
Soon enough, the bell rang signalling that you were about to have your next class. After many conversations–most of which comprised of you and Chenle talking while Jisung sat there quietly listening–you concluded that Jisung was going to be your person. Well, actually you concluded that before there were any conversations.
You stood up, throwing away your cup of pudding. “Bye dolphin, talk to me only if you’re bringing Sungie along with you please, thank you. No more gatekeeping,” you said pointedly to Chenle before turning to Jisung with a beaming grin. “Nice to meet you, Ji. It’s okay if I called you Ji right? Yup, I hope to see you around and please give me instructions on how to be your girlfriend,” you nodded in satisfaction at your own words, as if it were classified as something normal to say in your own dictionary–well, yes!
The world seemed brighter that day, the birds chirpier as you skipped back to class.
Year 2.
It wasn’t long after that day that you found out that Jisung was one year younger than you and Chenle. Despite the age difference, the three of you have been inseparable ever since. You would be lying if you said that you started acting any different from the first day you met Jisung, well, it may have gotten worse.
The pickup lines never stopped coming, and flirting with Jisung seemed to be second nature to you now. Despite all the signs, what came as a surprise was that Jisung still had no idea how deeply your feelings went. He thought you were just joking around, well, maybe in part it was your fault for fooling around so much. But surely he could see that you only flirted with him? Nope.
You weren’t even sure if he understood what ‘flirting’ constitutes of. If dense was a person, that person would be Jisung. And yet, you found him adorable for it. After a year of knowing him, your feelings have only grown, him getting increasingly good-looking in your eyes.
“What exactly do you like about Jisung?” Chenle questioned one day, arms swung casually around your shoulder as the two of you walked to class.
“Everything.”
“Geez, you can’t be less obvious about it. Though I fear if you were even more obvious, he still would not take the hint or take you seriously,” Chenle comments. “Maybe you should just give up.”
“No way,” you glared at him, giving him a shove. “I can’t believe that you’re even suggesting that,” you waved your hand at him dismissively. “Watch and learn, kiddo. I will win him over soon.”
Chenle just raised an eyebrow, unconvinced but shrugged as you two entered your classroom.
۫ ꣑ৎ
Jisung had never quite understood your mannerisms, and he wished that you would give his poor brain (and heart) a break. Sometimes he thought that you were just joking while other times he thought that you might be sincere with your feelings–it left him very much confused that he stopped digging too deep into it.
It would be a lie if he said that his heart didn’t skip a beat whenever you flirted, jokingly or not, you always knew exactly when to stop. It never got too out of hand that he became uncomfortable, though he did wish his cheeks would stop flushing so easily at your antics.
The three of you were having lunch in the canteen, immersed in your own little bubble while the laughter and chatters from others faded into the background. “Did you hear about the gossip on Mark and Haechan? It’s actually diabolical,” Chenle chortled before even explaining what happened.
“Who the hell is Mark and Haechan?” You asked quizzically. Chenle’s jaw dropped at your question, as if in disbelief that it was even a question at all.
“They are literally the most popular guys at school, what do you mean you don’t know them? They are literally my friends and we hung out with them once,” he deadpanned.
“Ohh them…I honestly thought they were just random guys that we tagged along,” you squinted as you recalled the memory before shrugging. “What can I say? I only have eyes for Jisung,” you chimed, nudging said boy with your foot.
Anddd… he chokes on his food.
“I’m sorry?” he splutters, hitting his chest to ease the constriction. “Um–thank you?” Jisung said awkwardly, not knowing what to respond. Despite his lack of reciprocation, the grin on your face only seemed to grow wider, eyes sparkling with adoration as you looked at him. The boy’s poor heart was racing, and if he hadn’t experienced such a phenomenon so often ever since you entered his life, he would be worried that he had somehow developed a heart condition–or worse, experiencing a heart attack.
It wasn’t long later before you were left alone with Jisung as Chenle had to go for one of his many basketball games. The two of you were sat on the grass under a tree right by the school field. The sun’s rays were warm and friendly, not piercing but rather gently caressing your face.
“Why don’t you sit down right here, Ji? I swear I know those legs are long but they sure as hell have got to be tired once in a while, you stand too much,” you remarked as you pat the spot next to you. Reluctantly, Jisung accepted your offer–though he really did just prefer standing. “This weather is perfect for a pudding,” you said dreamily, disappointed that you didn’t have the time to buy one today.
Without a word, Jisung grabbed his bag, zipping it open and reaching inside. Digging through his things with his brows furrowed in concentration before a small smile lit up his face when he finally grasped the item he was looking for. Fishing out the one and only mango pudding that you loved so much and offering it to you with an outstretched hand. “Here, I got this for you,” he spoke softly, gentle and quiet just the way his soft-spoken self is.
This was why you liked him. People say that he is awkward, leaning to be a little bit cold and aloof, but what they don’t see is his thoughtfulness. His actions that spoke louder than any word in the dictionary. This was what people don’t see, even Chenle himself, and why you refused to give up on winning this man’s heart.
“Thank you,” you said, almost to yourself. No one was ever this nice to you, no one ever thought of what you wanted, you were always the loud and bubbly one who made others smile. It definitely wasn’t the first time Jisung had done something like this in the year you’d known him, but one thing was consistent–his timing always came perfectly to catch you off guard. Just like now, a tear rolling down your cheek from being touched by his actions.
“Woah–are you crying? Wait don’t cry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Oh my god what do I do, I’m so sorry!” Jisung started rambling, and in a moment of panic, his hands caressed your cheeks before using his thumb to wipe away your tear. You let out a teasing smile at that, the latter’s eyes widening as it dawned on him what he was doing. He quickly brought his hands back to his lap, heat creeping up his neck before colouring his cheeks a rosy pink. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Are you a bus stop? Because I’m here to pick you up.”
Genuinely. Your timing could never have been worse, right in the middle of an embarrassing situation for him your mouth decides to slip in a pickup line. Surprisingly, the boy let out a chortle at that. “I think out of all the pickup lines you’ve told me so far, that might be your worst one yet,” he muses.
“Well…Um…It was a work in progress, definitely wasn’t part of my top 5 at all,” you tried to give excuses but the boy seemed to be able to see right through your lies, his eyes twinkling in amusement.
“It was definitely one of your top 5.”
“No! It wasn’t!”
See, that was one of the moments that proves the fact that Jisung did in fact like you (platonically at least) and treats you as a friend! In case anyone had any doubts about that.
You quickly opened the pudding in your hand and took a big bite, indicating the end of the conversation. The two of you sat there in silence as you consumed your pudding contentedly, the delicacy somehow tasting even sweeter knowing that it was from him.
And that was another thing you liked about him, his presence. It was always comfortable with him, even in silence there wasn’t an intense need to fill it up with words. The air of tranquility that he brought with him always managed to tame down your need for chaos, and it felt nice to be near him, basking in the calmness of the atmosphere.
If you had to add one more word to describe him, it would be soothing.
Year 3.
In all honesty, his lack of comprehension was getting frustrating—his density was already halfway to the bottomless pit of Tartarus. It was frustrating till the point that you were debating whether you should simply ask Jisung out yourself instead of waiting for him. But you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, nor mess up the genuine friendship that the two of you shared. You were afraid of scaring him too much.
It was movie friday at Chenle’s house, the three of you comfortably settled on the couch in the living room. Jisung was holding the popcorn on his lap since he was the one sat in the middle, the television screening Frozen (movie selected by Jisung! Might be a bit too childish for borderline adults, but he is cute to choose it…or you may be just biased).
Nonetheless, it was came as a struggle for you to stay awake that day, after a gruesome gym lesson and staying back after school to study for a quiz before finally being able to come attend this weekly gathering to relax. Needless to say, you were dead beat.
It didn’t help that the movie was far under your age group, nothing much exciting happening on screen to keep you engaged (don’t tell Jisung you said that, you might actually not have a chance with him if he knew). Not long into the show, you were dozing off, your head falling to your side and your eyes drooping.
Even with Jisung’s favourite show playing on the television, he couldn’t focus. He was worried about you, his eyes drifting away from the screen to you by his side, eyes trailing from the dark circles under your eyes to the way your neck tilted uncomfortably as you drifted off. Before he could overthink it, he slipped an arm around your shoulders, gently guiding your head until it rested on his shoulder.
You sighed, unconsciously nestling closer to his neck, drawn to the sudden warmth and comfort he offered. Jisung smiled at that, eyes finally going back to the movie only to find Chenle squinting at his face while blocking his view of the television. “So you like her?” the inquisitive boy questioned, though his question was spoken in such a matter-of-fact tone that it almost sounded like a statement.
“Uh–y…yes?”Jisung’s stuttered reply came out as more of a question, and honestly speaking, Chenle was more surprised that he even got a positive answer from him at all. He was more in touch with his feelings than Chenle expected. “Yeah. I like her but I don’t think she likes me like that,” Jisung whispered, afraid to wake you.
“You can’t be serious,” the latter said in exasperation, gesturing frantically towards her. “She does all that, and you’re telling me that you don’t know how she feels?” Jisung hissed at him to keep his voice low.
“I’m sure she is joking, she probably flirts with others too.”
“No she only does that to you. Have you even seen her flirt with me?” Chenle said, rubbing his temples. “Listen. She really isn’t joking, in fact, she has liked you ever since she had first laid her eyes on you. A girl like her isn’t just going to show up in front of your face every day for the rest of your life, you need to start doing something if you want her. I’ve been her friend for years and I seriously can’t see her be hurt by your stupidity anymore,” he finally finished, hair mused from his annoyance.
Jisung sat there with his mouth agape as he watched Chenle pace back and forth, movie long forgotten. “I…I’ll try my best,” Jisung didn’t know what else he could say to that.
Chenle sucked in a deep breath to calm himself down, slouching onto the couch beside him. “I’ll help you,” he finally stated, breaking the tension as he patted Jisung’s shoulder that wasn’t occupied by your sleeping figure.
Jisung offered a grateful smile in return, heart beating rapidly at his reassurance that you did in fact like him, romantically. It was quiet after that, the only sound was your quiet, rhythmic breathing that eventually lulled Jisung to slumber as well.
Year 4 (present day).
For the first time in the past four years, you were angry at Jisung. You had always thought that he could do no wrong other than being dense, you sincerely thought you could never be mad at him because of how innocent he was. But that all proved to be false after the fiasco two days ago, yup, you’ve held up a grudge for two days.
Even you’re surprised you could stay mad at him for this long, but everything hurt. You thought everything had been going well, you were beginning to think that Jisung did like you back with how he had been reciprocating your feelings more in recent days.
He had been moody that week, a gloominess that followed him like a dark cloud wherever he went. You thought you were helping by trying to cheer him up, talking and joking with him to put a smile on his face. And then he snapped at you to ‘keep quiet’ and that had hurt, like a piercing knife stabbed at your gut.
Though he immediately regretted his words the moment they left his mouth, it was already too late and you ran off–tears in your eyes, a little dramatic but it was the first blow to your heart that he had ever shot at you. And now, you were officially on day three of ignoring Park Jisung.
On the other hand, Jisung couldn’t focus on anything else, not school, not his dancing and definitely not on his finals that were coming up the following week. He had tried talking to you over and over again but you didn’t budge–not even when he offered you pudding which you just accepted and left without a second beat. He was getting desperate, and scared. Terrified that he was going to lose you before he even had you.
Maybe this was the perfect situation to get the man to, well… man up.
“All you have to do is talk to he–”
“I’ve been trying to do exactly that!” Jisung cut Chenle off in frustration, fingers running through his already messy hair. “She just won’t let me talk to her,” he groaned as he slid a hand over his face. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, then try again,” the latter simply suggested. “She has been chasing you for years, it hasn’t even been a week for you, just don’t give up on her and i’m sure everything will work out fine. You might even get yourself a girlfriend!” Chenle teased to lighten up his mood only for him to drop his head to the table and sigh. “Or you could just kiss her to speed the process up,” he shrugged.
“What? No way, she would freak out and that is borderline harassment.”
“It’s not harassment if she wants to kiss you too.”
“Not helping,” Jisung mumbled, now fidgeting with the packaging of your favourite pudding in his hands. That was when he straightened in his seat, an instinctive reaction when he caught sight of you entering the canteen. His eyes widened slightly, mentally urging you to come and sit with them. To his dismay, you grabbed a sandwich and left. Not one glance. Not one smile.
“Go,” Chenle nudged him, chin pointing towards the door you exited from. “Go and try talking to her again, and remember my suggestion. Who knows, it might be ingenious,” there was a smugness to his tone but Jisung just rolled his eyes.
With his best friend’s encouragement, he got up and ran after you. Bag left behind on the bench, hand grasping the pudding as if it were a lifeline.
۫ ꣑ৎ
You were settled under the tree by the school field, you probably shouldn’t be here. Despite it being named yours and Jisung’s spot during the free periods that you had together, it was honestly the most comfortable and refreshing spot outside the stuffy confines of school.
You ate your sandwich rather aggressively, the loneliness you felt sitting there crept in. Though the loneliness didn’t last long because an out-of-breath Jisung appeared before you. “Y/N, can we please talk?” he was practically begging, his eyes filled with anguish as they searched yours.
Your heart broke a little at his disheveled appearance and the almost broken expression on his face, giving in as easily as taking your next breath (what can you say? Old habits die hard, you had a seriously concerning weak spot for this boy). “Okay,” you breathed. Jisung’s eyes widened imperceptibly, as if barely believing that you had actually agreed. “What do you want to talk about?” you crossed your arms, keeping your face blank.
There was a long silence, mostly due to the fact that Jisung hadn’t prepared for what he was going to say, his mind a jumbled mess as he tried to grasp for the points that he was going to apologise for. Suddenly remembering the pudding in his hand, he quickly handed it over to you just to keep himself from standing over you awkwardly. “Well? Did you come here just to give me pudding?” You prompted, impatient. More colour drained from his face at your coldness, losing his confidence by the second and you weren’t making this any easier for him.
“I–I’m sorry,” he finally managed to get out, two weakly spoken words.
“Sorry for what?” You raised a brow, watching his eyes dart anxiously. There was another long stretch of silence. “Listen, Jisung. If you’re not going to know what to say then don’t come asking me to talk,” you dismissed him, going back to eating your sandwich.
Jisung had really never been good with words, he always had to deliberate over his words for a long time, piecing sentences together and then practicing it ten times over in his head before being able to say it aloud. This was the one chance you had given him to talk and clearly he screwed it over. His palms were sweaty, his heart racing faster than it ever had in your presence—except this time, it wasn’t warm or fluttering, but dreadful and strained.
Maybe it was the gut-wrenching devastation he felt the moment you turned away, when he knew he was losing you—or the sharp, hollow ache that had been growing in his chest these past few days. No matter the reason, it was desperation that had him impulsively jumping into action.
His hand came to cradle your cheek, tilting your face up before crashing his lips onto yours. Your eyes widened in shock as you froze in place, the softness of his lips on yours one moment and gone the next before you could even react. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I just did that. I shouldn’t have listened to Chenle’s suggestion, that was basically harassment, I forced myself on you. You definitely won’t let me be your boyfriend now–oh my god, you’re probably going to report me to the police!” Jisung rambled on and on, pacing back and forth in front of you as he ran his fingers through his hair out of terror from what he had done.
You brought your hand up to your lips, still in a daze. Soon enough, you recovered, and it finally dawned on you what had just happened—Jisung, your crush, the boy you had pined after for the past four years, had kissed you! Your lips slowly curved into a beaming smile, eyes gleaming with happiness as you watched the boy who continued to pace, completely forgetting that you were right there.
“Oh my god how long of jail time will I get for this? Is it going to be a lifetime? No, I’m still young, I can’t have the rest of my life thrown away just like that,” he rambled to himself only pausing when you coughed to get his attention. Closing both eyes while he turned your way, afraid of what your expression might be. “Please don’t be mad at me, I swear I didn’t mean to do what Chenle told me to! Don’t report me to the–are you…smiling?” he peeked through an eye at first, noticing your bright face, and his eyes shot open fully.
“You kissed me.”
“No, I harassed you.”
“It’s not harassing if I want to kiss you too.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what Chenle sai–wait what? You want to kiss me?” Jisung’s jaw dropped, his heart pounding for a different reason now.
You stood up, walking right in front of him. With a cheeky smile on your face, you tip-toed and pressed a light, quick kiss to his lips. “Yes, I do want to kiss you, silly,” you grinned. “Also, I think it’s adorable how you said that I wouldn’t let you be my boyfriend instead of saying that I wouldn’t want to be your girlfriend. Sigh, your way with words when you open your mouth has always been charming,” you said dreamily.
You paused for a moment, frowning at his stiffness. After much contemplation (you’re lying, thinking definitely wasn’t your style–you didn’t give it a second thought!), you wrapped your arms around his waist, chin resting on his chest as you glanced up at him. “Hug me, you stupidly cute, giant, cuddly teddy bear,” you command.
As if you two had done this a million times before, Jisung naturally brought his arms around your waist too, nestling his face into the crook of your neck. He sighed in relief as all the tension from the past week left his body, he hugged you tightly, lifting you up momentarily which made a squeal leave your lips. The two of you stood like that for a few minutes, basking in each other’s presence after being separated for so long.
“I’m sorry for telling you to keep quiet, I didn’t mean it at all. I was just having a really hard week, my parents were stressing me out over my grades not being perfect and I just took it out on you when all you did was try to help. You’re the brightest part of my day and I can never imagine you not being in my life,” Jisung spoke sincerely, pulling apart from you slightly just to let you see how genuinely sorry he was. “Your jokes, your laugh, the way you flirt and most importantly, your ridiculous pickup lines, please don’t ever stop.”
“Okay,” you agreed easily, moving to rest your cheek on his chest now and closing your eyes. “We should have more heart-to-heart talks while hugging, I can get used to this,” you sighed wistfully. “I’ll accept your apology only if you will be my boyfriend,” you stated. Jisung placed a tender kiss on your forehead at that, as if he held something so fragile and precious.
“I was already yours, even when I didn’t know it.”
After a dinner date with your parents, you felt miserable as always. Despite everything they’ve done, coming home to your husband was the brightest part of your life. From his pampering to his way with words, perhaps some arrangements aren’t so bad after all.
Word count. 1167
Content. Arranged marriage gone right! Fluff, lots and lots of fluff. Just Jaemin being the sweetest thing ever for you.
M.list + a/n. I had a sudden urge to write something sickeningly sweet heh. 10 months since my last post oopsies but on the bright side, all my national exams are over for this lifetime.
Nothing could bring down the burning feelings inside you, the frustration, anger and maybe a tinge of sadness that seemed to make your blood boil. Your fists were clenched, jaw sore from the duration in which you had to bite back your words. A pounding headache was beginning to blossom as you entered the home in which you and your husband shared.
You regretted going to meet your parents for dinner. What did you expect? That they would suddenly pull you into their loving arms after not doing so for a good fifteen years? Apologise for throwing (borderline selling) their daughter away to improve the family’s social standing? Those were childish wishes that you knew better than to hope for, and yet you still did.
“Welcome home, angel,” Jaemin chimed as he reached you, frowning upon seeing your tensed shoulders and furrowed brows. “That bad?” he asked softly, taking your bag from you and setting it aside before his hands found your shoulders, gently kneading away the tension. You could only sigh in response, your shoulders slumping at his touch and the softness of his voice.
You suppose that some good did come out of your parents’ parenting (or lack thereof). If it weren’t for the arranged marriage, you would never have met Jaemin. And despite your initial disdain towards the arrangement, you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t the best thing to have ever happened to you.
No words needed to be said for him to understand you, a kind of bond that could rarely be found between two. And somehow, perhaps by some miracle or blessing from the gods for all your suffering, you found it with him.
He lightly tugged you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you as he nuzzled his face into your hair. The warmth from his body easily soothed you, the affectionate way in which he held you brought a sense of tranquility inside. “You smell good,” he murmured, breathing you in while you felt yourself slowly crumble in his arms. There was no stopping the tears that streamed down your cheeks the moment the first of it fell, sobs escaped uncontrollably all while he simply stood there with you in his embrace.
Jaemin’s heart ached for you as you cried. It never failed to make him feel powerless every time you did, wishing he could take away all your pain and ease the hurt you felt. He hated seeing you like this, so broken and miserable over your family situation (without a doubt, he had already plotted the murder of your parents in his head). “Let it all out, sweetheart. It’s okay, I’m here for you,” he whispered, cheek resting on the top of your head while his fingers delicately stroked your hair comfortingly.
You didn’t know how long you stood there before your sobs finally died down, replaced with a wave of exhaustion. “I’m sorry,” you muttered into his chest, not quite wanting to let go yet.
“For what?” he questioned, his hands warm against your cheeks as he tilted your face up, his thumbs sweeping away the lingering tears.
“Just…you told me not to go, that I would get hurt again but I still went. I should ha-” your words were cut off by a peck on your lips. A moment of silence followed your surprise, your gaze finally meeting his—and there, in his eyes, was a softness touched with sadness, sadness meant for you.
“Listen, wife. You do not ever apologise just because you did something against what I say. And despite whatever you say or think, you are still the strongest person I know,” his tone softened towards the end, pausing for a moment. “Even I already cut off my own parents, it is admirable how you continue to be optimistic despite everything they’ve done. They sure as hell do not deserve your kindness but it is one of the many things I love about you, and you should never feel bad about that.”
His thumb moved to the corners of your lips, tilting them upwards to turn your frown into a smile. “So smile, my love, they don’t deserve anymore of your tears,” he finished, the warmth of his smile and sincerity of his words diminishing all the anger and hurt you felt about the dinner. Only when he saw the usual sparkle in your eyes and the upward tilt of your lips (without his thumbs forcing it up) did he let go, grabbing your hand instead. “Now, let’s get you all washed up for bed. Did I mention that you look really pretty in that dress?”
You didn’t have to move a muscle as Jaemin helped you with everything, from removing your makeup to washing and drying your hair. He was really the perfect husband anyone could wish for.
It was after a while before the two of you were cuddled up in bed, your head resting on his chest while he traced random shapes on the small of your back. The two of you remained like that, a comforting silence enveloping the atmosphere with only a night light providing dim lighting. You rested your chin on his chest, looking up at him. Your heart felt like it was going to combust just from the sight, the way his eyes filled with adoration as he looked at you, as if you were the most precious thing in the world and he couldn’t believe you were there in his arms.
“How do you look so pretty all the time?” he mused, ruffling your hair but it only seemed to make you look even cuter, especially when your cheeks tinged with a hint of red from his words. Your beauty had always struck him hard, something in his chest always ached as he looked at you. In a good way, of course. The dimples that peeked through whenever you smiled brightly and the way your eyes turned into little crescent moons as if they had a smile of their own. He had every single look and expression of yours memorised, and often visited whenever he missed you. “Seriously, it is hard to look away from you. Torturous, even.”
You rolled your eyes despite the way your heart skipped a beat. “Oh shut up, you’re such a flirt,” you muttered, looking away shyly. “Thank you, by the way, for earlier. I don’t know what state I would be in right now if it weren’t for you,” you spoke gratefully while he simply hummed in response.
There was not much said afterward, only a bunch more doting words by the boy to the girl. Under the moonlight, the two laid there in each other’s arms as they drifted off to sleep. A repulsive arrangement that turned into the best thing that could ever happen to both their lives, a sickeningly sweet love story that they would surely tell their kids one day.
i just read unspoken vows and it was so achingly beautiful ❤️🩹 it reminded me a lot on the importance of knowing your partner’s love language and of course communication!
i don’t know if you were asking for feedback but i personally prefer you/your when reading! i think as a reader, it allows me to be more immersed into a story but please write what you’re comfortable with! 🤗
Thank you so much !! ❤️❤️ I enjoyed writing it too hehe 😆
— in which an argument left you to discover how much he loves you, through his silent ways.
Pairing. Park Jisung (nct) x fem!reader
Who knew paper rings could be so meaningful? Frustration left you crushing the neatly folded paper rings from your boyfriend, only to discover the hidden messages written in them.
Word count. 2841
Content. Fluff with slight angst. Jisung with his sweet sweet love notes, he really loves you a lot!
M.list + a/n. inspired by The Ex Vows by Jessica Joyce didn’t even like the book that much but the paper rings scene stuck with me 😞
Jisung had never been big on expressing his feelings openly, even with her. He was always the mediator when it came to fights, always being the first one to repent even when she was at fault. Those moments were rare though, with him having a soft spot only for her, he had always soothed her anger before it escalated into an argument between them. Even though he doesn’t blatantly show his feelings, she always understood his quiet affection reserved just for her – the way his eyes always lingered on her as she left the room, a silent yearning in them as if the time they spent together was not enough.
He had always been too shy to voice his affections aloud, only when she forces him to then does he manage to mumble a soft “I love you”, with his cheeks flushing pink at the effort. Her teasing smile after had always been worth it though. That had always been how it was between the two of them, her being the one to cling onto him, sprouting whatever endearments that came to her mind while he quietly savoured them all, warmth spreading throughout his body. He showed his affections in other ways, ways that even she never realised before until a vulnerable midnight talk left him admitting to them, or if she discovers it for herself.
Contrary to popular belief, one thing Jisung was good at was folding paper rings. It all started one mundane valentines day, after the two of you had came back home from your date. With her splayed out on the bed, her head rested on his lap as she scrolled through her social media. His fingers seemed to have a mind of their own as they played with her hair, twisting and twirling them around his fingers. “Look at this oh my gosh, this is adorable!” she squealed as she turned over her phone to show him the jar of stars that her friend had posted online, a gift from their boyfriend for valentines day. Jisung squinted at the screen before his eyes flicked downwards to her face, the twinkle in her eyes and the grin on her lips that seemed to light up her entire face.
“That’s nice,” he replied simply, his lips curving up as he saw the disbelief on her face when she thought that his reaction was too nonchalant. With a pout, she went back to scrolling on her phone at all the valentines day posts, completely oblivious to the boy who had picked up his phone by the bedside table and started to search up origami tutorials.
And that was how it all started, Jisung learning how to fold the world’s most perfect paper rings from any scraps of paper he found, it becoming a habit along the way. He would leave a random paper ring with a note by the kitchen counter sometimes, whenever he had to leave early for work. She cherished every last one of them though, keeping each one stored safely in a glass jar that he had given her after she requested for one. It felt like a silent promise of some sort, like he was signalling to her that she was it for him, in his own little ways, as if one day it wouldn’t be a scrappy paper ring that was being given to her. Her heart filled with joy every time she caught sight of one, a quiet reminder that he did indeed love her.
Maybe that was why everything hurt so much in the first place. Despite all the simple reminders of his affections that he displayed nakedly for her, it was never enough for her as compared to saying the words itself. The doubts crept in whenever her supposed “friends” would point out how clingy she was and how indifferent he was. It was times like this when she needed the confirmation the most when she forgot the bulk of what he did for her, to show how much he did indeed love her.
Action always seemed louder than words for him, but words were always louder for her. That night, after a hard day at work, it was like an impending storm was raging inside her, threatening to explode. She couldn’t help it, her insecurities were flooding her tenfold, unable to shove the bitterness that coated her tongue to the back of her mind.
The moment Jisung came home, he noticed the silence in the house. He waited at the door for a beat, waiting for the familiar padding of hastened footsteps that usually came the moment he entered through the door followed by the scent of flowers and daydream. Today, though, the lights were turned off, an ominous air engulfed the place. Panicked, Jisung was quick to take off his shoes and throw his bag to the side, not caring about where it landed. “Y/n? Are you okay? Are you sick or anything?” He called out to her, his heart racing as he turned on the lights to find her on the couch, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he worriedly questioned as he rushed to her side, reaching out to cup her cheeks but stopping just before he touched her. “Can I?” he asked, a considerate request yet it seemed to be her undoing.
“Why do you act like we’re strangers, we’ve been dating for years, you can touch me whenever you want to without asking,” she ranted bitterly, tears starting to spill out of her eyes.
Alarmed, Jisung started to wreck his brain for ways to calm her down but came short. “You know it’s not like that, I just don’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable,” he replied.
“That’s the thing! You don’t do anything! Is it so hard to just tell me that you love me once in a while?” she spewed out, her words seeming to come out of her without a thought, even when deep in her heart she knew they weren’t true. Out of everyone she had dated, Jisung was the most affectionate person she ever met, the one who affected her in a way no one else had. Maybe that was why it hurt so much too. “It’s just- It’s just that it comes to other people so easily why can’t it be like that for us too?” she choked on her words.
Jisung’s eyes darkened, eyes narrowing on her, his face a mask of aloofness despite the piercing stab he felt in his chest with every word that left her lips. “You know I do a lot for you, even though I don’t say it,” he simply stated, his chest ached in longing to touch her but he felt that it wasn’t the time. He was too cowardly, afraid that something he did could make the situation worse, too terrified to lose her.
“Well, maybe it’s not enough,” she murmured angrily, his indifference maddening as she stood up and walked off to their shared bedroom before locking the door shut, not giving him a chance to chase after her.
Sobs escaped her lips, tears moistening her cheeks and sleeves as she tried desperately to wipe them away, to seem stronger than she felt. She sat next to their bed, pulling her knees to her chest as she leant back against the bed frame. She knew she was being unreasonable but she couldn’t bring herself to care. The heaviness in her heart, and the ill thoughts whirling through her mind. It all felt suffocating, like the room was closing in on her and leaving her to desperately scurry for air.
Needing something to vent her numbing disappointment on, she grasped the jar by the bedside table, turning the cap open and pouring the contents out onto the floor. Seeing the number of paper rings he folded spilled out onto the floor barely gave her much satisfaction, just another reminder of another method he used to not speak the words. Frustratingly, she took one of the less sturdy paper rings – one that was done using a gum wrapper – before crushing it in her hands and letting it fall. The shape ruined and the wrapper slightly teared. However, despite her tears blurring her vision, she took notice of the tips of letters being written on the folded piece of wrapper as it unfolded slightly from her damage. Her curiosity piqued, she took hold of the ring again, now carefully unfolding the wrapper to find writings inside.
46. Because you’re so hardworking.
47. Because you always come running out to hug me the moment I step through the door after a long day at work, and that is the best part of my every day.
48. Because you secretly love it when I play with your hair.
Perplexed, she started unfolding every single one of the paper rings he had given her, to find writings inside each one. She placed them all in chronological order, her hands moving in a frenzy as she tried to uncover whatever he was doing or trying to say.
61. Because you always cook dinner for me.
62. Because you are so beautiful, I can’t breathe when I look at you sometimes.
63. Because you tolerate me and my difficulties with expressing my feelings.
55. Because of the way you look at me like I hold up the moon and the stars, god I wish you will always look at me like that.
56. Because you sing in the shower (you sound bad but it’s adorable).
57. Because you would do anything for me too.
Tears flowed, but for a different reason now. Each sentence clearly written with those three unspoken words meant to be at the start. She let out a ridicule laugh, of course even when he was saying so much through each sentence he still doesn’t say the words – but that seemed so redundant now as she read each reason why he loved her so much. Each declaration filled with a sense of devotion that he felt towards her, a kind of loving warmth that tingled through her bones. And then there were those that sounded more solemn, like it was written after a fight the two of them had.
78. Even though we argue sometimes.
79. Even though I can’t ever seem to give you everything you want.
80. Even though I can’t seem to tell you that I love you when you need to hear it most.
81. Even though those three words can’t seem to encapsulate the overwhelming feelings I have for you.
82. Even though you’re angry at me but all I can think about is how cute you look with your eyebrows furrowed and how much I want to touch you when you’re mad.
83. Even when I can’t seem to bring myself to touch you when you’re mad because I am so cowardly and afraid to lose you, as if you are some fragile thing when you are the strongest person I know.
Her heart ached painfully, she could feel the longing that weaved together with his words. It was then when she did understand something, that he would always love her through thick and thin. No matter the occasion, he had always loved her. That was why the paper rings never came in any significant dates, just random days of the year. Each one of them to secretly remind her of how much he did in fact love her, at any point of time in his life. She lets out a laugh, of course he was saying his affections quietly, without her knowing. All the words left in plain sight for her to read but she simply didn’t know. And he is right, the fact that he spent the effort to do all this, with his actions and scribing out every word explaining his feelings just because he knew how much she loved when the words were spoken as a confirmation, he has done so much for her, she couldn’t even begin to list down what. He was always someone who spoke through his actions but he took the effort to write out the words just for her.
With a new sense of conviction and an overwhelming sense of guilt, she stood back up on her feet, the paper rings all no longer in shape. She strided to the door, ready to go out and apologise to him before he has a chance to take all the blame for himself. She flung the door open, only to be greeted by Jisung standing there. A tray of food on one hand while his other was held up mid-air like he was just about to knock. His eyes widened slightly in surprise, his hair tousled like he had raked his fingers through the strands repeatedly in distress.
“What are you doing?” She said, even though she very much knew what exactly he was doing. Repenting. Again, for something that wasn’t his wrongdoing. Her eyes caught sight of the paper ring rested by the side of the cutlery, folded using a napkin meant for wiping her mouth. She immediately reached forward, taking it into her hand and unfolding it. Jisung flinched from her sudden eagerness, a pink flush creeping up his neck as he watched her unfold the ring.
98. Because you’re the kindest person I’ve ever met even when your friends aren’t the best influence. (no shade)
99. Even though I can’t seem to treat you the way you deserve.
100. Because I love you. I love you so fucking much it kills me on the inside. Because if you ever decide to leave me, my heart would leave with you, because it belongs to you, it always has.
The tears were streaming down her cheeks by now, full blown sobs escaped her lips. She leaped forward and swung her arms around him, unable to keep from being apart anymore. “Woah wait the food,” he said anxiously as he stabilised his other hand holding the tray, while his other arm came to circle around her waist. “What’s wrong? Did I do something again? I’m sorry I knew it was too much I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just reasons why I love you, I’m sorry I don’t say it enough. Actually, all the paper rings are all-” his rambling got cut off by a quick kiss on his lips. Her salty tears touching his lips, making his chest tighten. He never wanted to hurt her, never. Watching her in this state is more than he could ever take.
“I know you dummy, you stupid dummy. But you’re my dummy,” she scolded as she punched his chest with each word. His gaze eventually landing on the unfolded paper rings on the floor of their room, and understanding dawned on him. “Yeah I just found out when I was crushing one of them,” she mumbled against his shirt that was now wet from her tears. “Why did you not tell me?”
Jisung softened, pushing her slightly to enter the room and placing the tray of food down by the bedside table before sitting down on the bed and placing her on his lap. “I was just about to, you were suppose to eat then use the napkin you know for the grand reveal,” a boyish smile tugged at his lip as he spoke, his thumbs gently wiping away her tears. “I just didn’t know how else to tell you, everytime I want to say it, it feels like my there is a lump in my throat and I don’t know how to explain it. I love you was never enough to describe what I felt for you and I just struggled with saying it. But if you want to I will try to say it more, if it makes you feel better,” he babbled, his eyes anxiously gazing into hers, carefully analyzing her expression.
“Well for one, I don’t ever want to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with. And you’re right, this is way more meaningful and the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” her voice softened, fingers rearranging and tidying his messy hair. “I’m sorry, I overreacted, I know you do everything for me. I was being unreasonable and I let my insecurities and other people’s words get to me, even when deep inside I know you always did have your own ways in showing that you love me. And for that, I love you. I love you so much sometimes it feels so suffocating,” she finished.
In the quiet room, the two discovered that there was more to simply saying that they love each other. Jisung’s breaths were ragged as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, then to the tip of her nose, then to each eyelid and cheek, before his soft lips met hers. “I love you,” he murmured, with his eyes sparkling like stars in the vast night sky.
— (idol au) in which he makes another photo exhibition but this time, it’s dedicated to you.
Pairing. Na Jaemin (nct) x fem!reader
You were never one to take photos of yourself so Jaemin did it all for you. He loves it, candid or not, he thought that you looked ethereal and wanted to show it off to the whole world.
Word count. 2316
Content. Jaemin and his camera. He takes really cute and candid shots of you, took the time to do a video collage of all your endearing moments too
M.list + a/n. yums this random idea popped into my head right when I was struggling to think of a plot! Though, I'm not sure if the execution is satisfactory, but anyways happy reading!
Liked by the_and.y, onyourm_ark and others
na.jaemin0813 Exhibition 2: sweet narcissism out on 12/10 — “Pictures from me, of you.”
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jaenthusiast no bc wtf is this HARD ass launch? I’ve never seen anything like it
dongyuckss @jaenthusiast no fr like he came out of nowhere and decided to tell the world about his girl 😭 such a jaemin thing to do though
lomljaem what about me?? I’m unstanning 💀
jaenthusiast @lomljaem fam as if you had a chance in the first place, good riddance.
sungcultt I just know he treats her so right I can’t wait to see his descriptions to her pictures omg
Throughout the course of your friendship and later, relationship, Jaemin had always been the one who was there by your side. Whether it is snapping pictures of you, or simply basking in your presence, he was simply, undoubtedly, all-consumingly, in love with you.
From the slight crinkling of your eyes when you smile to the way your eyes seemed to sparkle in the light when you got excited, it was all the little things that made Jaemin fall for you, and hard. His hands always itches when he is with you, the urge to simply capture your beauty and turn the memory of you into something tangible — a photograph.
And that was the whole reason why it had even started, from the beginning when you told him that you didn’t really like to be in the camera in all the glitz and glamour. It seemed ironic that you ended up dating him, an idol, whose job is to be in front of a camera day in and day out.
However, in all of fate’s unpredictable and sly ways, you two eventually did fall for each other. With Jaemin capturing every essence of your dynamic, from when you first met to where you two were now.
Despite your incessant whining and excessive shyness whenever he held out a camera and signaled for you to pose, you still continued complying to his demands. A timid, small smile with your middle and index finger raised. It was basic, but you didn’t know anything else. Yet, no matter what, Jaemin still admires the picture with a lovesick grin after, claiming that you looked so “out of this world” to him.
Unknowingly, it progressed into an obsessive habit for him, or hobby. Wherever the two of you went, he’d always have something in hand to take pictures of you, albeit his phone or a full-blown professional camera. It gradually became his thing, snapping a picture whenever his hands were itching for it, candid or not, it was always perfect in his eyes, simply because it was you.
In all honesty, every single photo was equally treasured by the boy. The more he took, the greedier he got. It felt like such a pressing need to snap shots of you, it was one of the ways he showed his affection. And amidst all that, he grew the desire to show it all off to the world — the girl who belonged to him. After tireless fights and arguments with his company, they finally gave in.
That’s how the second part of his photo exhibition came about, “sweet narcissism” as he would call it.
“Seriously Jaem, you didn’t have to do so much for me just for my birthday, it’s literally still a whole month away,” you spoke as you let him lead the way with a blindfold shielding your vision. “Where are we even going anyways?”
A chuckle slipped past his lips, hushing you whilst his hand gently rested on the curve of your back, guiding you to enter the exhibit. The cool breeze of the air conditioner was the first thing you felt when you stepped in, followed by the muffled footsteps of Jaemin scrambling around.
“You aren’t selling me to someone are you?” You joked as you stood there, self-conscious until a crisp, mechanical “click” sounded. The sound you were all too familiar with. “Are you seriously taking a picture of me right now? With a blindfold? That’s kinda kinky,” you exasperated.
“You just look too cute you know,” he answered, a lightness to his tone. “Are you ready? You are going to be shocked, surprised, mind-blown, lost for words and-” he got cut off by your low grumble, hurrying him to just go along with it. “You’re no fun,” he sulked as he undid the knot of the blindfold.
You blinked your eyes, adjusting to the glaring lights that seemed to become brighter from being reflected by the pale white walls. Running a hand through your hair to tidy it up, you squint your eyes as you tried to figure out what was going on. He grasped your wrist, extending your palm out before placing an audio device in your hand with a set of earpieces attached to it.
The moment it hit you, your shock was palpable, eyes trailing over the entire space in pure wonder. Your hand squeezing the device, a quiet excitement consumed you as you walked closer to look at the pictures hung on the walls and frames sprawled out neatly on the table. “I didn’t know you took this many pictures of me,” you mused, hand grazing the corner of the frame delicately.
“Here you should listen to the audio while you look,” he stepped forward, untangling the earpiece. His finger gently tucking your hair behind your ear before placing the earpiece into your ear. A small dash of pink tinted your ears, lips curving up in appreciation.
Jaemin had a soft smile plastered on his face as he quietly watched you by the side, following you in anticipation of your reaction. “I like taking pictures of you, you’re really pretty,” he murmured before pointing towards one of the pictures as if to prove his point. “Look, you’re so carefree and smiley that it makes you look alluring,” he referred to one of the many candid shots.
“You’re exaggerating,” you dismissed as you continued to admire his work while listening to his deep, smooth voice that seemed to engulf all your senses – seeing and hearing everything from his perspective. He definitely had a knack at it, each picture felt like it had a purpose, filled with an overwhelming affection he had for you. Each picture held a story, the short descriptions earnestly spoken through the device, all carefully thought out by the boy.
“Ohh that one is one of my favourites,” your boyfriend grinned, gesturing to the next picture as you continued on. This one felt more intimate, your hair slightly messy, your tongue stuck out slightly and your brows furrowed in concentration while your hands gripped the pan. One of the rare occasions that you cooked a meal for him. Your eyes trailed over to the details, your heart warming as you listened to the audio that came along with it, a tender smile growing on your face.
Number 12. I remember watching you take care of me after a hard day at work and thinking “wow I’m so lucky to have her as a friend.” And now here you are, as someone more than that.
In another one, you appeared to be looking down at your feet dipped into the water at the beach, a contented look plastered on your face. Behind you, the sun had begun to set and it seemed like he took this secretly, a fair distance away from where you were standing, basking in the serene atmosphere.
Number 16. On one of my rare days off, I took you to the beach, and the way your face lit up with excitement was everything. That smile never faded, not for a second, and in that moment, I made a quiet promise to myself — to do whatever it takes to keep that beautiful smile shining, always.
“I spent a lot of time thinking about what I should say for the descriptions, I just wanted to capture the way I see you, from my point of view,” he explained, a thoughtful expression on his face. You turned around, walking closer to him before wrapping your arms around his waist. Jaemin felt like he couldn’t breathe from the way you looked at him, like he was holding up the moon and stars, your expression brimming with affection and warmth that made his heart full.
“It’s perfect,” you muttered reassuringly, a shy, thankful smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “I love you, a lot. I don’t think anyone has done this much for me before, just for my birthday,” you spoke pensively.
A hint of smugness washed over his face which made you roll your eyes, a light giggle escaping your lips. “I love you more,” he paused, grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards another room. “Anyways, there’s more. This one is a video, this one is just for you and not part of the exhibition which by the way I have to talk about it to you later,” he mumbled the last bit, “okay but first! Sit down and watch this amazing video I’ve put together.”
You sat down compliantly on one of the beanbags while Jaemin walked around to set it up. The longer you waited, the more impatient you got, anticipation bubbling in you for what was to come. The first thing shown on screen was Jaemin sitting in front of the camera with a wide beam plastered across his lips.
“Hello! Haha wait this is kinda awkward,” he scratched the back of his neck, “this video is just a collation of moments we’ve had together. I just wanted you to know that no matter how busy I get with my career, you’re always the one that I’m constantly thinking about. I guess this video is kind of for me to watch whenever I miss you while I’m on tour. Hehe anyways, I hope you enjoy and remember, I’ll always love you, my love.”
The first scene was one of the first few times you two met-up, right after Jaemin had gotten to know that you didn’t really take much pictures. He had grabbed his phone out just to tease you, recording a video with you whining throughout asking him to stop, though not quite convincingly enough. The video slowly progressed from when you two were friends till when you two started dating, every intimate moment captured and compiled into one.
In another scene, your head was resting on his lap, his fingers that had previously been playing with your hair coming to a halt as he grasped the camera, angling it towards you. Your hair sprawled out across the span of his lap, eyes concentrating on the video you were watching on your phone.
“No seriously, there was literally no reason for you to do that, why did you do that? Like um now the whole world is going to be fantasising over your abs, I mean at least I’m not alone at it but still imagine- hey are you recording me right now?” you paused your rant, glancing up at him only to see his camera being directly above your face. “Were you even listening?” you glared towards the lens.
“Mhmm, all I hear is my baby being jealous,” he hummed, chuckling as he watched you sulk, stretching out a hand to cover the camera. “Hey, I was recording for future uses,” he frowned.
And the video ended with that. A sheen of moisture filled your eyes, blinking it back to not let a tear slip out. Jaemin came to your side, pulling you towards him, your head resting on his chest as he leaned back against the wall. He tenderly stroked your hair, fingers running through the strands. “So what do you think?” He queried, smiling down towards you which you reciprocated as you looked back up.
“I love it, the whole exhibition is perfect, impeccable, unmeasurable. It’s like the one you did for the dreamies,” you complimented. Realisation dawned as soon as you said that statement and saw the guilty look on his face. You raised an eyebrow at him, “wait…this is exactly like the one you did for the dreamies. You’re going to open it to the public aren’t you?”
It took a moment before he slowly nodded, a slight timidness washing over him. “I already did everything, it’s mostly for you, showing you off to the public is just a bonus. But that’s only if you are comfortable with it of course, I know you told me before when I casually bring it up as an idea that you wouldn’t mind but I’m asking for real this time,” he tilted his head as his eyes narrowed in on you, to show his seriousness this time. “If you aren’t comfortable with it, it’s really okay. I already showed it all to you and I think that’s enough for me.”
“I don’t mind, I trust you,” you replied simply, hand grasping his as you drew soothing circles on the back of his palm subconsciously. “Would your fans come and harass me though? That’s a really hard launch I can’t lie,” you chuckled.
“I won’t let anyone touch you, and my company is making sure that nothing happens. Sorry, I’m just greedy to show you off to everyone. Also, did I mention that I’m planning to open it on your birthday, that’s why I’m showing it to you now so that I can get your consent, but seriously, if you don’t want to face all that you don’t have to-” he rambled, an overwhelming sense of pride and endearment made you lift your head up from his lap and give him a quick peck on his lips, cutting him off. “Oh,” his brain malfunctioned as he lost his train of thoughts, not expecting the kiss, though it lasted only for a fleeting moment.
“I told you, I trust you and I really don’t mind. I know it’s your hobby and I know you have an obsession with photos of me,” you reassured, a tinge of slyness to your voice. “I’m only comfortable when it’s you who is taking pictures of me so feel free to continue taking more alright, Jaem?”
He finally got pulled out of his stupor, a shit-eating grin taking over his lips once he processed the green light that you were handing over to him on a silver platter. “Of course. It is my pleasure to be your personal photographer, love.”
— photobooth | 2096 ⸝⸝ you comforting Mark after an incident during the concert and it became a date.
— fated | 437 ⸝⸝ you couldn’t sleep and started to let your mind wander while a sleepy Mark had to entertain your thoughts, coming up with a perfect reply as usual.
𓆉 na jaemin
— growing up | 3067 ⸝⸝ five stages of your life where Jaemin’s acts of service came through, warming your heart and etched deeply in your memories.
— sweet narcissism | 2316 ⸝⸝ you were never one to take photos of yourself so Jaemin did it all for you. He loves it, candid or not, he thought that you looked ethereal and wanted to show it off to the whole world.
— sweet nothings | 1167 ⸝⸝ After a dinner date with your parents, you felt miserable as always. Despite everything they’ve done, coming home to your husband was the brightest part of your life. From his pampering to his way with words, perhaps some arrangements aren’t so bad after all.
𓆉 park jisung
— decent | 1384 ⸝⸝ you have never gotten validation all your life, life felt a little bleak but he managed to light it up even if for only a moment.
— unspoken vows | 2841 ⸝⸝ who knew paper rings could be so meaningful? Frustration left you crushing the neatly folded paper rings from your boyfriend, only to discover the hidden messages written in them.
— the art of being dense | 5074 ⸝⸝ From the very first time you met Jisung, you knew he was the one for you. You’ve never made that fact any less known. Though, no matter what you do, the boy simply could not take a hint. What will it take for him to finally realise that you aren’t joking around?
𓆉 lee donghyuck
— rainbound | 17370 ⸝⸝ You never liked rainy days. Then a boy with a warm smile and an umbrella wandered into your life, and somehow, the storms didn’t seem nearly as frightening anymore.
You couldn’t sleep and started to let your mind wander while a sleepy Mark had to entertain your thoughts, coming up with a perfect reply as usual.
Content. Time stamp drabble. Sleepy Mark but not sleepy enough to ignore you, obviously he loves you too much for that.
Word count. 437
M.list + a/n. Just a drabble!! The latest 127 comeback has me on a chokehold btw.
[ 3:42 am ]
Sometimes on those sleepless nights, where the bright hue of the full bloomed moon illuminated ever so slightly into the room and onto the ceiling.
Your eyes would be wide opened as you stared up at it, wondering how far it travelled to be able to reach inside.
On nights like these you just felt a little bit more sentimental, as much as you hated people who were like that. The world was filled with wonders, and one that always whirled in your mind was how different life could be if we did one thing differently.
Like how we would meet different people if we went to a different school, how different it would be if we gained interests in things sooner.
The bed dipped slightly beside you from the movement of the boy.
Mark's vision was slightly hazy but he managed to make out the girl who was still wide awake, deep in her own thoughts. "Are you still awake?" He said lowly, voice laced with tiredness, barely keeping his eyes opened to look at you.
You hummed in response, "can't sleep," you mumbled. He nodded before swinging an arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him.
"You should sleep, you overwork yourself too much and now you can't even take a break," Mark muttered, being the caring boyfriend he was despite his sleepiness.
Even though you weren't thinking about your stress at work, you didn't say anything. Turning your body to face him, you buried your head into his chest in search for the familiar surge of tranquil warmth to embrace you.
"Do you think we would have met if one of us didn't go to the carnival on that day?" You quietly questioned, doubting that you would get a reply, assuming that he was already asleep.
"Yeah, of course we would, why wouldn't we?” he answered.
"Why not? we won't have seen each other and started to compete on every single game then."
Mark let out a light chuckle, his fingers subconsciously started to draw shapes on your back. "Even if we didn't meet each other then, i'm sure we would have met each other eventually. We are made for each other, I would search the whole world if it meant finding you again. It is always and will be you who I love, no one else."
And right then you understood, it was fate that brought everyone together. His words made your heart flutter just like the first time you had laid your eyes on him.
— (childhood friends au) in which he did everything for you growing up.
Pairing. Na jaemin (nct) x fem!reader
Five stages of your life where Jaemin’s acts of service came through, warming your heart and etched deeply in your memories.
Word count. 3067
Content. Jaemin is older! He teaches you when you’re struggling, and him attending your graduation when no one else in your family did.
M.list + a/n. Yums one month gap between this and my previous post, not bad. Anyways, this one has a combination of many scenes from books and dramas. Enjoyed writing this one ngl, acts of service is my second favourite love language.
As a child, we all made many mistakes. We fell, we learned our first steps, our first words, all together with our parents that stayed by our sides. For y/n, however, her parents had never been there for her. It was always that one little boy with big eyes and a kind heart that stayed with her every step along the way.
The rain poured, every droplet hitting the ground with a loud thud. The strong winds blew with a powerful passion. “ Jaemin! Let’s go play in the rain!” The 6 year old girl squealed, pulling the other 7 year old along by his arm. He reluctantly followed along after her relentless whining, despite worrying about her getting sick later.
The two stepped outside to their backyard, the sound of rain drops thudding on the roof resonated through the atmosphere. Y/n giggled as she immediately took off into the pouring rain and jumped on puddles of water, watching how the water splashes surrounded her.
“Be careful, don’t get hurt!” Jaemin warned. He stayed back in the shade, not really wanting to get himself drenched but still keeping an eye on the girl who played excitedly. Her eyes sparkled in delight as she stuck her palms out to let the water drip on her palms.
“Look Jaemin look!” She exclaimed while splashing the droplets of rain she had collected up in the air. She was so immersed in showing it off to her best friend, that with a small step to go closer to him ended up causing her to slip and lose her balance. It was an immediate instinct for a 6 year old to start crying, her knee had been scraped and there was a throbbing pain coming from it.
The boy jerked in reaction, springing into action. He immediately went up to the girl despite not wanting to get drenched before, but her cries were all he could focus on. He draped one of her arms around his shoulder, with the other around her waist, lifting her up on her feet. The boy had to drag the girl back inside with the limited amount of strength that he had.
He gently placed her on the couch before scrambling around to get the first aid he had seen his mother use on him before. He cleaned up her wound while she continued to let out painful wails. He gently blew on her scraped knee before placing a bandage over it.
Without a word, he went into his room and took a pair of shirt and shorts that she had left behind the last time she came. The crying girl only looked up when she noticed his outstretched hand, she could see the worry in his eyes through her tears. “Go change your clothes before you catch a cold,” he said.
That was one of the many times she vividly remembered, his soft and concerned gaze, his actions that spoke to her louder than the few words others ever could say. Not a single blame towards her or nag that he had “told her so”. Not a single sign that she was a waste of his time, just those pure eyes that looked at her caringly. That was only the beginning of many other instances. The soft and caring nature of the boy clashing with the clumsy and playful one of the girl.
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You sat at your study table, focussing on your study materials. Your final examination is coming up, the one that determines which university you would go to. It was a dream of yours to follow Jaemin’s footsteps, to enter the same university as him albeit a different course. It was hard, considering you were lacking behind while he flourished and went to one of the top universities in the country.
You were under a lot of pressure, feeling so stupid as you tried to make sense of the basics. Mathematics had never been your strong suit, numbers had just never made sense to you.
Staring at one question for 30 minutes, not even knowing where to start much less what the question was even asking for. Your frustration was growing, one hand in your hair while the other gripped the pen tightly. Tears began to gather in your eyes which you rapidly blinked back.
You jumped in surprise when there was a sudden knock on your door, interrupting the quiet atmosphere of your room. Snapping out of your stress-induced daze, you quickly wiped the remaining wetness in your eyes before speaking. “Come in!”
Jaemin’s head was the first to peek through before he opened the door wider and stepped into the room. “How’s it going Luna?” He spoke as he walked in with a chocolate cupcake from your favourite bakery in hand.
Your eyes widened in shock – by the fact that he was right in front of you in your room and that he bought you the cupcake you love so much. Ever since university had started for him, the two of you had been seeing each other less since he had moved out to live in the dorms at his university.
“What are you doing here Jaem?” You questioned in shock, standing up to give him a hug. You were genuinely excited and happy to see him, but you couldn’t muster up enough energy amidst your solemn mood.
“I’m just here to check up on you.”
“Mhm, as you can see, I’m fine so you can leave…yeah you can go.”
He furrowed his eyebrows at her weird behavior. In any normal circumstance, she would be elated to see him, jumping around the room and all that. Definitely not kicking him out at the first moment he steps in.
Instead of leaving, he sat down on your bed beside your study table. “Oh for this question you should find the derivative then equate it,” he explained as he pointed towards the math question that you were stuck on. It was as if that one sentence cleared the mental fog in your head, understanding the question requirements better.
And that continued on for the next few hours, just with the 19 year old boy patiently teaching the girl without any complaints.
“Thanks Jaem, I think that was the most productive session I’ve had in a while,” you spoke as you munched on the cupcake. You felt better, really. You could understand the concept more and didn’t feel as stupid as before.
He simply nodded before grabbing a tissue from your bedside table. One hand came to grip your chin while the other gently cleaned off the chocolate stain at the corner of your lip. Your heart felt like it stopped for a moment, blood rushing up your neck and to your cheeks.
“W-what you could have let me do it myself.”
“But I like doing things for you.”
He threw the tissue away as he spoke with a neutral expression on his face. That was one thing you disliked about him — how he could make your heart flutter with the things he does and says and yet act like it's the smallest deal in the world. You shook off the feeling, knowing he probably doesn’t feel the same. Your lips stretched into a thankful smile, feeling really grateful that you had someone like him by your side.
“I’m really glad that we’re friends, Jaem.”
“Me too, Luna.”
⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉
“So why do you always call me Luna?”
The sun shined down incandescently in the middle of the clear blue sky. The two were walking together around the university during their 2 hour break with drinks from the cafe in hand.
After endless hardwork and sleepless nights, with the help of Jaemin’s guidance of course, you had actually managed to get into your dream university and course. It was fulfilling but tough nevertheless. All that matters to you now is the fact that you could spend more time with him — just like you have been doing ever since you came out of your mother’s womb.
Jaemin hummed at your question, not answering as he continued to sip on his coffee. “That’s a secret,” those were the only words he said which made you groan in frustration. You always brought up the same question every time you get reminded of it, yet you would get that same reply to no avail.
“Will you ever tell me why?”
“Possibly.”
You rolled your eyes, walking ahead of him. You didn’t get far before he pulled you back by your ponytail. “Are you showing me attitude now kiddo?” He shook his head and sighed. “I didn’t raise you to be like this.”
You stuck your tongue out at him before giggling at how ridiculous it was. “I’m only a year younger than you. Now can you let go of me?” You said as you tried to use your free hand to get his grip off your hair. “Hey that hurts,” you winced, using the only weakness of his that you knew — you being hurt in any way.
He immediately let go. “I’m sorry, are you okay?” He asked with a tinge of worry, raising a hand up to gently massage your head.
“I was just joking, catch me if you can!” You exclaimed, giggling as you ran off.
Jaemin could only sigh as he watched you running off in the distance with a bright smile lighting up your face. One of his own occupied his lips, looking at you endearingly. He chased after you, going along with your antics although rather begrudgingly.
That night, Jaemin had requested for you to meet him at the rooftop garden of your dorm. Stars lit the sky like snow-flakes in the night, the moon casting a glow down that added a spark to the normally ordinary garden. The boy looked at his feet, biting his lip nervously with the box grasped tightly in his hand.
Awaiting for your presence felt like minutes turned into centuries, Jaemin could barely breathe through the rapid beat of his heart. The moment you came in sight with the usual bright smile of yours, he calmed down slightly.
“What’s up Jaem? Why did you call me here?” You questioned once you reached him. You looked around the area, not really seeing anything special. Glancing at the boy, you noticed the slightly nervous expression on his face, his hair slightly messy from running his hand through it.
“Um I don’t really know how to go about this, I know you know I’m more of an actions over words type of person,” he started, looking into your eyes intently. “You ask me why I call you Luna all the time, it means my moon. Because no matter how dark the nights got, you were always there to light it up, guiding me through. Everything felt okay when you were with me, one smile and it felt like my entire day had been made.
His words warmed your heart, you felt tears welling up in your eyes listening to him.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like you. I like that you’re clumsy so that I can take care of you. I like that you’re always smiling like I hung the moon up when to me, that’s what you do for me everyday,” he let out a breath, opening the box that he had gripped onto so tightly, revealing the moon shaped necklace inside. “Can I be your boyfriend?”
Your words got stuck in your throat, so instead you nodded profusely, wrapping your hands around his neck to hug him. Jaemin chuckled, wrapping his arms gently around your waist.
“The necklace is really pretty.”
“Let me put it on for you.”
He unclasped the necklace as you held your hair up. The warmth of his hands radiated on your neck, his breath fanning your earlobe which sent a shiver down your spine. He fastened the necklace tightly before you let go of your hair. He arranged it neatly in the middle, the silver jewelry sparkling in the night.
“Pretty,” he breathed out. “The necklace and you.”
⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉
It was your graduation day. You felt slightly moody that your family couldn’t make it. With both your parents being doctors, they rarely had time to come around for milestones in your life. It left a void in your heart, the lack of parental love from them.
What made it worse was the fact that your boyfriend had something on today so he couldn’t make it either. The one person who held a special place in your heart.
The day felt more draggy than usual, waiting for your name to be called as you watched everyone go up on stage to collect their certificates. A frown occupied your lips as you robotically clapped along with everyone else at the right time. “Next student is y/n,” the MC announced. You forced a smile on your lips as you walked up on stage.
It was all a blur. Grabbing the certificate, smiling for the camera before walking down from the stage. Did you seriously work your ass off just for this moment? It felt meaningless.
As everyone dispersed to take pictures with their respective families, you stood in a corner. A soft, longing smile stretched on your lips as you looked around. Despite the predicament with your own parents, it felt nice to watch others get to have the kind of love that you didn’t receive.
“Ding dong, a chocolate cupcake delivery for y/n?” A voice spoke from behind. You turned around so quickly as a gasp escaped your lips upon seeing the boy before you. You ran up to him and jumped with your hands wrapping around his neck. Jaemin managed to use his other free hand to hold you up, the other clutching the cake. “Happy graduation, my Luna,” he chuckled.
“I thought you weren’t gonna come,” you spoke into his neck, frowning slightly at the thought. Jaemin placed you back down on your feet, moving your loose strands of hair behind your ears to see your face clearly.
“Silly, how can I miss your graduation?”
“I don’t know. I j-just thought that..” you trailed off, feeling yourself choke on your own words. “I guess I’m used to my parents not showing up so I don’t expect anyone else to show up for me…”
He grasped your chin, tilting your face up to look at him. His eyes were filled with warmth, a softness painted in them that embraced you in a tight hug. “Don’t ever think that way because you have me. I’ll always be there for you, no matter what.”
Your heart warmed at his words, you felt such an overwhelming sense of endearment for the man in front of you. Standing on your toes, you placed your lips softly against his. The boy tilted his head slightly, deepening it as he leant down so that you felt more comfortable. One hand cupped your cheek while the other wrapped around your waist tightly.
The way you felt with him could only be described as one thing — home.
⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉
The next few years went by in bliss. The bond between you and Jaemin only grew stronger as the days passed by, your love for him felt so overpowering that you felt so alive.
You finished the last touch of decorations in the backyard of the house that the two of you lived in before heading back inside. You anxiously sat on the couch in the living room, waiting for Jaemin to come home from work. Counting every second that passes, you bit the inside of your cheek — a nervous habit that you had.
Your heart was racing so fast that it felt like you were having a heart attack. When the sound of keys clinging resonated throughout the house, you instantly jumped on your feet. Rushing to the main door, you greeted the boy who had just entered.
“How was your day?”
“Good. Why are you sweating so much? Are you feeling alright?” Jaemin asked, noticing the sweat beading down your forehead the moment he looked up.
“Y-yeah I’m fine. Can you follow me to the backyard for a while?” You requested as you helped him take off his coat and hang it at the rack. Jaemin raised an eyebrow in question but obliged and followed behind you.
Opening the door to the backyard, it revealed a series of fairy lights twirling around the bushes, shining on the trail towards an empty area in the middle. You continued to drag Jaemin down the aisle right till the middle.
“Wow you did a nice job decorating the place, love.”
“Thanks, but that’s not what I brought you out here for,” you started, breathing in and out three times to calm your nerves before looking up into his eyes. “I remember the first time when you helped me. I childishly played in the rain and fell while you were there to pick me up and care for me when no one else was there. I slept over at your house a lot and rarely went home, I think that was because I found my home in you,” you paused, catching your breath. “You’ve always been the one to do things for me growing up. I wouldn’t even have made it into my dream university without your help,” you chuckled.
“But for once I thought I would repay you by doing something for you instead,” your voice wavered slightly at the end. You got down on one knee, taking out the box from your pocket. You opened it, revealing the moon shaped diamond ring inside. “I know this might be against the typical stereotypes of the man proposing to the woman but,” you stopped, your palms sweating from nerves.
“Will you marry me, Na Jaemin?”
Tears fell from his eyes, the love he felt for you was suffocating, controlling his every breathing moment. “Yes! Of course I will, Luna.” He said before crouching down to your level and pulling you to him in a kiss.
The two broke off their kiss — only to put the ring on him of course. The delicate moon on his finger, a symbolism of the love that they shared.
— (high school au) in which you’re insecure and he worries about you.
Pairing. Park jisung (nct) x fem!reader
You have never gotten validation all your life, life felt a little bit bleak but he managed to light it up even if for only a moment.
Word count. 1384
Content. Awkward Jisung who has a crush on you. You being disappointed by your academics and him trying his best to comfort you.
M.list + a/n. I decided that i’ll post for leisure, still love the feeling of just writing. I’m a sucker for words of affirmation btw. Happy reading!
You look decent.
Your grades are decent.
Your skills are decent.
Decent. That is just what she was. Regardless of how much tireless effort she places in everything she does, all she ends up with is that one word - Decent.
It has never been anything more nor anything less. She felt suffocated by that word like she could never be recognised for being something more. It was as if she was just a figment of imagination in a sea of people. No one wanted someone who was just decent.
They would always go for exceptionally good people. The ones who stood out. Those that were way more skillful, talented or smart in everything they do.
It was just unfair.
Why is it that she was never anything more than decent to anyone? Why did she have to struggle so much just to try to be something better?
Perfection seemed unattainable. She felt as if she always fell short from everyone around her. She could study for days for a test but still score decently as compared to others who study the night before and still do better than her.
Maybe it was just her method of studying that was not suited for her, but to her - it felt like she just had something lacking in every aspect of her life.
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Just like everything else in life, there are always two ends of the spectrum. In this case, Park Jisung was everything but decent. From his looks to the way he dances so flawlessly and smoothly, everything about him was exceptional.
No one is perfect, but he sure comes close to being perfect. You were envious of him. He had the reputation that everyone wanted, it felt like he had his entire life already laid out in front of him. It was easy to tell where he was headed towards, whether or not he would be successful in life. Everything just felt easy for him, while you had to constantly suffer from the pessimistic thoughts of not being able to make it far in life - ending up with a job that you absolutely hate to do.
From Jisung’s perspective though, it would be a lie if he said that his life was not easy. It did feel like he could have everything and anything he wanted, he didn’t feel like a complete failure. But that was exactly what kept him up at night - the fear of failing.
He constantly worked to make himself seem like a strong person, someone who was so accomplished and had everything set out in life. And he is successful at doing just that, in accomplishing everything he puts his mind to, everything except for you.
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“Okay class, settle down, I will be giving back your test papers that you did two weeks ago,” the teacher’s voice roared through the class. “I would like to congratulate Park Jisung on getting full marks….again.” A round of applause sounded throughout the class as he smiled shyly at the attention as he went up to take his paper. His eyes skimmed the class and towards the girl in the corner who was just staring out of the window into space.
Unknowingly, the corners of his lip tilted down slightly and a slight wave of sadness washed through him.
As people walked to the front one by one to collect their papers, his eyes couldn’t help but drift towards you. When it reached your turn, you took the paper in anticipation but when you saw the score on the front page, your heart sank.
64%. That was the usual grade that you got and yet you still couldn’t help but feel disappointed over and over again. Your classmates were all squealing at their scores while you sat back at your seat silently. Another test that you studied hard for and yet still didn’t improve nor get a score that you wanted.
“For those who did well, good job. For those who didn’t do as well, go home and reflect, and do better next time. You are all dismissed.”
⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉
You sighed in defeat, looking through your mistakes as you stayed at your seat while everyone else in class ran out of the door. Your heart felt heavy, as you started to grip the paper progressively harder the more you stare at it.
Once it was only you left in class, it was as if it was the trigger as the tears started rolling down your face. One came after another until you were full-on sobbing. The pressure just felt too much for you, and the disappointment that came with it just further aggravated the emotions that you felt.
Your future felt bleak. How can you pursue something if you weren’t good at anything?
In this vulnerable moment, a boy happened to rush into the classroom. Seemingly in a rush to grab something but got alarmed when he saw the teary-eyed girl sitting in the corner. Jisung stopped in his tracks, grimacing when the door slammed behind him causing you to jump in surprise.
You didn’t expect anyone to come in, especially him.
You vigorously jumped into action, wiping away your tears and calming yourself down. Although it didn’t exactly work, you continued to hiccup and looked away from the boy who looked like a deer caught in headlights.
He let out an awkward cough. “Um..sorry…I forgot to grab something…” he trailed off. You simply nodded in response, still facing away from him, not wanting him to see you in this state. Jisung hesitated before asking “are you okay?”
“Yes,” you softly replied, your voice slightly choked up from the lump in your throat. “I’m fine.”
The boy walked to his desk to take his phone before walking back towards the door but paused midway. In his head he knew that maybe he should just leave her alone to sort out her feelings but he couldn’t simply shake away the tightening of his chest with every sob that she quietly let out in the midst of the silent classroom.
With a goal in mind, he turned back around and quietly took a seat opposite her. His palms started sweating as his brain spun sentences on what to say or do. After a few wordless moments, he finally spoke up. “Do you want to talk about it?” He questioned softly, not wanting to scare the girl. “Uh or if you’re uncomfortable I can actually leave…maybe i’m just being intrusive, if so i’m sorry,” he started rambling.
You looked up, slightly surprised at how close he was to you. “No, it’s okay. I’m not uncomfortable, I'm just upset about my test that’s all,” you said, mumbling the last part.
“64% is pretty good. Why are you sad? Cheer up okay, there is always a next time!” Jisung smiled trying to be optimistic but stopping when he watched the girl scoff.
“You can say that because you got full marks.”
“Huh what, no, of course not. I’m just saying it is pretty good considering half the class failed.”
You sighed, shoving your test paper in your bag before zipping it up. “It’s just a decent score, there is nothing good about it,” You muttered. “Nevermind, you can go, I’ll be fine. You’re right, it is just another test I did decently in. Whatever. I’ll just leave after I look better, you can go though, thanks for checking in on me.”
You looked back out the window, resting your chin on your palm, expecting him to leave. However, instead, Jisung grabbed a pen from your pencil case and took a post-it paper that he kept under his table before scribbling on it. He left it on the corner of your table before quietly turning around to leave.
“Just text me if you ever need help in anything or uh just need someone to talk to okay?” He said before closing the door behind him.
You looked at the post-it after the door closed with a thud. Your heart warmed reading it, your lips stretching into a small smile. Hope bloomed in your chest, maybe everything will be okay.
— (idol au) in which you are his source of comfort.
Pairing. Mark lee (nct) x fem!reader
You comforting him after an incident during a concert and it became a date.
Word count. 2095
Content. Mark injuring himself during the concert and blaming himself for it. You cheering him up and him being absolutely in awe of you.
M.list + a/n. This is my first post, i’m just testing tumblr out to see if i want to use it or not. Hope you enjoy! Inspired by the book xoxo by axie oh
The music blasted through the speakers, resonating throughout the whole stadium. Mark felt the music in his veins, his heart thumping to the beat of the song. He danced tirelessly although it may seem effortless from the fan’s perspective.
It was in his blood, dancing to one song after another. It was his job description after all. Just that he did not realize how much he had to sacrifice before it was too late to back out.
The NCT 2023 concert in which millions of fans had anticipated, the crowd a sea of green like a huge patch of grass. The lights shone glaringly at his eyes, he had to squint to look around. Out of all the members he had the most to do, being the ace and everything. He probably had to come out to perform for the most number of songs.
It was overwhelming, really.
The stress was all piling up onto him, a migraine catching up to make his head feel fuzzy. And yet, he continued to go through the motions of the choreography, for whatever song it was.
Even when learning the choreography of their new song, the dance practices were a mess. He was the only one who wasn’t able to catch up, his mind full of other things that he needed to do and learn.
He was afraid to mess up, afraid to disappoint everyone. Not just his fans, but also his members.
Mark’s ears rang piercingly, his eyes blurred. He tried to blink it away and continue to dance but he couldn’t. Before he knew it, everything went black and he fell to the ground with the music still blasting through the speakers of the stadium.
Breaking news: Mark Lee from NCT faints in the middle of their concert. The concert had to continue without him.
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To say that you were worried was an understatement when you saw the news. Panicking, you immediately left your workplace hurriedly while calling Mark’s manager.
You wasted no time when he picked up. “Where is Mark?” The words came out all at once, barely enunciated but it was clear what you were calling for. So he told you the address to the hospital and you immediately grabbed a cab and headed there.
The moment the car stopped, you ran out. Paparazzi were already standing outside the hospital, which made you pause. Security guards were pushing them out of the way, refusing to let them enter the hospital to reach the boy.
Your relationship with Mark wasn’t known to the public, you could not risk getting caught with him. That was why you turned the corner, going near the back where you saw an opened window at the ground floor which you used to enter.
It was slightly more difficult with the skirt you were wearing but you made it in. You immediately opened the door to exit into the hallways of the hospital.
You pressed for the eighth floor where his manager said his room was at. Inwardly urging for the elevator to move quicker as you paced around.
You quickened your pace when you saw his manager standing by the hallways, fingers gripping his hair as his face contorted into an expression of distress with his phone to his ear. “I don’t know where he went! If I knew I wouldn’t be calling you to check if he was with you right now…nevermind I’ll find him…bye.” His conversation ended.
Your eyes widened. “What? What do you mean? Who were you talking about, it’s not about Mark right?” You questioned as your head spun.
He turned towards you and sighed. “Mark’s gone, I have no idea where he went. Maybe you can reach him, his phone is switched off though.” He explained.
You didn’t have time to think, you turned on your feet and left. Leaving the hospital through the back doors, snatching your phone out of your bag to call the missing idol.
Of course, the call did not get through for you either.
He was making you go crazy. Not knowing whether he was safe or not made you start to overthink everything.
“Come on, think y/n where would he go.” You muttered to yourself as you looked around the area. Your eyes caught sight of the karaoke place opposite the hospital.
You immediately ran for it.
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Mark felt disappointed in himself. Why couldn’t he just handle the pain a little bit more, push through until the end of the show. It wasn’t that hard, he had done it numerous times before after all.
There he sat in the dark karaoke room, the only source of light emitting from the television screen. There was no music playing, it was just him isolating himself in the dark corner of the room with his eyes closed.
For some reason, this place gave him a sense of comfort, not specifically this place itself but any karaoke place in general. It was probably because it was where the two of you had met for the first time. It was when he was in the same state he’s in right now, and somehow you came in like an angel reaching out for him.
That first meeting made him feel like everything was okay, like he could be someone with a normal life without needing to face all the struggles his life as an idol gave him.
Then you were gone but came back again a few months later, enrolled in his school. It was like fate was binding the two of you together. And slowly everything had developed from there.
For now, he was lonely. His eyes watery but yet he refused to let himself cry. He read the articles, he saw the comments saying how the concert wasn’t worth the money if he wasn’t there or how he was too weak and he didn’t deserve to be this successful.
Just when he was falling deeper into the dark abyss of his mind, the door slammed open violently. Making him jump in fright, thinking that it might have been his manager or the paparazzi but who he didn’t think it would be was his girlfriend.
You sighed in relief when you saw the black haired boy sitting at the corner of the room looking at you in shock. You entered before closing the door behind you, the light from the hallways exiting from the room.
“What are you doing here? Don’t you have work?” Mark asked, confused but glad at the same time.
You glared at him. “How dare you! You make me worried sick, I saw the article and I immediately left work and went to the hospital only for you to be gone and then your phone is turned off!” You ranted, he opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it. “And don’t you think you can just say sorry and let everything off because no! You tell me what’s wrong here and now because obviously you are in a karaoke place so you are obviously feeling overwhelmed so spill.”
You stood directly in front of him with your arms crossed over your chest, staring down at the boy who could only look up at you like a lost puppy being reprimanded. “I’m sorry it’s just I messed up by letting my body give out. Actually, I've been messing up every dance practice we’ve had for the concert and it's just hard to keep up. I feel like I’m just being a huge disappointment to everyone and I just can’t handle the pressure.” A tear had slipped from his eye by the end of his speech.
You brought a thumb to his cheek and wiped the tear away, heart aching for him. “You’re not a disappointment. You’re doing so well, so incredibly well. I admire you for being so hard working even though your ridiculous ass of a company doesn’t even appreciate it. You’ve always been strong, just because you fainted once doesn’t mean you’re anything less than that.” You said softly. Mark held on to your every word, loving the way your voice flowed so smoothly.
You sat down beside him, spreading your arms widely to urge him to come for a hug, which he did. Your arms wrapped around his neck as his head was buried in your neck. You stroked his hair gently, soothing him.
Your warmth was something he loved, and also your straightforwardness. He felt himself relax and forget about everything else, just him being in your arms was all it took. He basked in your warmth, feeling significantly calmer and better.
The two of you sat there in silence for a while, Mark in your arms with you playing with his hair.
Soon after he got up. “We should probably go out, I think the time for this room is almost up.” He said. You glanced at the time left shown on the screen, showing that there was only 5 minutes left, enough for one song.
“Wait, let me show you this rap I've been practicing.” You grinned cheekily before going to the machine and inputting that one superm song with your boyfriend’s infamous rap. “Oi you better watch out Mark Lee I’m coming for your spot.” You spoke into the microphone, making him laugh.
“Uh, you think ya big boi, throwing three stacks. Uh something yea yea…mismatch.” You tried his part but failing miserably, it was way too fast. Mark could only laugh at you, his hand slapping his knee with his head thrown back at how ridiculous you were being.
You stared at him in disbelief as the song ended and the television went back to the home screen signalling that the time was up. “Hey! Stop laughing, I swear I’m just lacking practice. You better watch your back. Obviously I’m going to be the one to replace you when you’re gone.” You huffed.
“Okay sure. Whatever you say, my princess.”
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Thankfully, this was a very small and secluded mall which had barely anyone around.
The two of you walked out of the karaoke place, and were about to leave when you saw a self service photo booth store.
Your eyes immediately lit up, you quickly grabbed Mark’s arm and dragged him in that direction. “What-?” He let out confused at the sudden change of course but followed you compellingly.
“Let’s take cute pictures! We’ve never done one together before.” You replied looking around at all the accessories that they have in amazement. You ended up settling for a duck head band while Mark settled for a pair of those thug life meme glasses.
You both entered one of the booths, which was surprisingly small. Making you two squeeze in the tiny space with your shoulders touching each other. “Okay you ready?” You pressed start on the screen once Mark nodded in response.
The timer went faster than the two of you anticipated. For the first picture you both weren’t ready at all but the two of you composed yourself enough to smile on the second before taking off the accessories and having a plain photo with just the two of you on the next.
You both laughed at how ridiculous the photos ended up being. The two of you chose four out of the six and printed them. They gave two copies so you kept one while Mark kept the other.
“Wait, let me head to the washroom quickly then I swear we can leave.” You rushed before running off leaving the boy standing there outside the store waiting for you.
He stood there with the photo grasped tightly in his hand as he stared at it. The last picture you both took was one where you were smiling to the camera while Mark had an expression that was between a laugh and a smile with his eyes trained on you rather than the camera.
It was a mystery to him how you were able to just easily make him feel like a normal teenager rather than a well-known idol. The way you make him feel love sick for you was something foreign for him. Honestly, it was everything about you that made him feel different.
When you got out from the washroom, you went back to Mark, noticing that he was staring at the photos the two of you took with a soft smile on his face. It made your heart warm. “What’s up? Are you laughing at me in the picture? You better not be.”
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