Because it is bitter and because it is my heart.

Fanfiction writer and reader. A03 profile: mswhich F1 side blog: fastcarscuteboys

[gffa]

I don't want to write fic that's "good", I want to write a fic that hits someone's id so hard it changes their brain chemistry.

[mswhich]

Fic post! OW, M/M, noncon, 30k words

I have been editing and coming up with tags and summary for what feels like the last 5 days (ed. note: actually two hours) and I do not have the stamina to do a lovely formatted fic post.

But! I can still put all the info here even though it is not beautifully formatted!

This was for a Fandom Trumps Hate auction won by the incredible @icemav86 who gave me some truly inspirational ideas and has been very patient while I worked on this fic for 19 years (ed. note: four months, give or take)

Our Live Subject Has Graciously Volunteered

Summary:

At Montresor Academy, there's an anatomy class that only gets taught once every few years or so. Professor Fisher is the only instructor, and he's very careful about his planning. Only very particular students are invited to participate, and even then only if he can find a suitable live subject: Someone easy to coerce, easy to manipulate, and most importantly, someone who won't make any complaints.

Fisher is very good at what he does, and this year he's struck gold. Quentin Cross is the most perfect subject he's ever found. This year's class is going be extremely special.

--

At the front of the classroom, central to the main demonstration area, was a doctor’s examination chair, the sort with separated footrests for the legs, semi-reclined. Spotlights borrowed from the theater department were arranged around it. A camera on a tripod was positioned off to one side and a large projection screen was set up so that observers and subject would both be able to see the screen. Four chairs for those observers were placed in a semi-circle towards the front of the classroom.

“No,” Quentin said, looking ill. He took a step backwards. “No, I can’t. It’s impossible.” Archive Warnings: RNC, UAS

Tags (wow, pasting this in from AO3 seems to have brought the tag links along?! I have never seen this happen before but it looks cool so I'm leaving it that way):

Humiliation

Voyeurism

Bondage

Power Imbalance

Age Difference

Being Put on Display and Used As A Demonstration in a Class

Abuse of Authority

Nipple Play

Nipple Clamps

Ball Gags

Hoods

Forced Orgasm

Orgasm Control

Cock Cages

Rimming

Anal Fingering

Hole Inspection

Anal Sex

Non-Consensual Kissing

Non-Consensual Oral Sex

non-consensual pretty much everything to be honest

Caning

Impact Play

Figging

Multiple Aggressors Using the Victim Simultaneously

Punishment

tiny bit of Stockholm syndrome maybe

Boarding School

Teacher-Student Relationship

Implied/Referenced Incest

there's a little bit of on-screen incest but it's not between the main characters

Classroom Sex

[mswhich]

Fic post! OW, M/M, noncon, 30k words

I have been editing and coming up with tags and summary for what feels like the last 5 days (ed. note: actually two hours) and I do not have the stamina to do a lovely formatted fic post.

But! I can still put all the info here even though it is not beautifully formatted!

This was for a Fandom Trumps Hate auction won by the incredible @icemav86 who gave me some truly inspirational ideas and has been very patient while I worked on this fic for 19 years (ed. note: four months, give or take)

Our Live Subject Has Graciously Volunteered

Summary:

At Montresor Academy, there's an anatomy class that only gets taught once every few years or so. Professor Fisher is the only instructor, and he's very careful about his planning. Only very particular students are invited to participate, and even then only if he can find a suitable live subject: Someone easy to coerce, easy to manipulate, and most importantly, someone who won't make any complaints.

Fisher is very good at what he does, and this year he's struck gold. Quentin Cross is the most perfect subject he's ever found. This year's class is going be extremely special.

--

At the front of the classroom, central to the main demonstration area, was a doctor’s examination chair, the sort with separated footrests for the legs, semi-reclined. Spotlights borrowed from the theater department were arranged around it. A camera on a tripod was positioned off to one side and a large projection screen was set up so that observers and subject would both be able to see the screen. Four chairs for those observers were placed in a semi-circle towards the front of the classroom.

“No,” Quentin said, looking ill. He took a step backwards. “No, I can’t. It’s impossible.” Archive Warnings: RNC, UAS

Tags (wow, pasting this in from AO3 seems to have brought the tag links along?! I have never seen this happen before but it looks cool so I'm leaving it that way):

Humiliation

Voyeurism

Bondage

Power Imbalance

Age Difference

Being Put on Display and Used As A Demonstration in a Class

Abuse of Authority

Nipple Play

Nipple Clamps

Ball Gags

Hoods

Forced Orgasm

Orgasm Control

Cock Cages

Rimming

Anal Fingering

Hole Inspection

Anal Sex

Non-Consensual Kissing

Non-Consensual Oral Sex

non-consensual pretty much everything to be honest

Caning

Impact Play

Figging

Multiple Aggressors Using the Victim Simultaneously

Punishment

tiny bit of Stockholm syndrome maybe

Boarding School

Teacher-Student Relationship

Implied/Referenced Incest

there's a little bit of on-screen incest but it's not between the main characters

Classroom Sex

[magneticghouls]

wait ok what was everyone's gateway rpf

[sunriseverse]

genuinely i don’t think it’s possible to easily explain the explicit part of online friendships to people who don’t Understand. i don’t mean like, explicit in the sense of “oh you’re sexting” or whatever. no. i mean when you and your friend start gleefully making up explicit sexual scenarios for your shared blorbos and you get giddier and giddier as you add more detail and you’ll be grinning at your screen as you type away at mach speeds. and it’s entirely nonsexual in an interpersonal sense, you’re not really getting Into it, but ohhhhh it’s soooooo fun and satisfying. and you can NEVER tell someone who doesn’t also do this that your mood is actively improved like fivefold because you and your friend played Sexual Tuoys together because they’ll go “what the FUCK.”

[mswhich]

I am in the process of desperately telling myself that it is okay to repeat tropes, it is okay to repeat themes, it is okay to have characters that are kind of like other characters I've written before. two cakes, I am telling myself. the people yearn for two cakes. my hands are twitching to delete everything and start over, though.

[mswhich]

omg you guys. I posted this last night feeling depressed about my current WIP and logged back in today to see all of your comments and support?? Which I was not expecting at all, but it has really lifted me out of my funk. I appreciate you all so much. <3 I promise I'm not going to delete the whole thing and start over.

[mswhich]

I am in the process of desperately telling myself that it is okay to repeat tropes, it is okay to repeat themes, it is okay to have characters that are kind of like other characters I've written before. two cakes, I am telling myself. the people yearn for two cakes. my hands are twitching to delete everything and start over, though.

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[smokingchagga]

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

[theunfortunate-author]

my daily affirmation as an author

[mostbelovedqueer]

Most Beloved (non-canon) Queer Ship Tournament - Round 1

Which queer ship do you love more?

00Q (Q + James Bond) (James Bond)

Billy Loomis/Stu Macher (Scream)*

how dare you make me choose

Voting ended onMay 10

Disclaimer: This tournament is based on submissions! Please respect all identities, characters and fandoms! Hate will get you blocked instantly!

[thestalwartheart]

@mllehel a poll specifically designed to make you crazy

[daddyfuckedme]

When I become god every man will be forced to wear eyeliner you’re welcome

[mswhich]

I have updated my pfp. nobody panic.

[icemav86]

new hucklerobby fic: been saving it all for you

dennis whitaker/michael "robby" robinavitch, the pitt (tv) 16k, explicit, no archive warnings apply tags: Fantasizing about your boss, Gay Bar, Pining, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, First Time, Explicit Sex, POV Dennis Whitaker, Minor Dennis Whitaker/Other(s)

“Doctor Robby,” Dennis said, shaking his head, “randomly showing up at the same bar I’m at isn’t interfering. I don't own Pittsburgh’s queer scene.”

Robby’s face pinked, and he smoothed his palm down the short hairs at his nape. “Okay, well, it won’t happen again, and I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

How many times can Dennis see his boss at the same gay bar before it starts to feel like more than a coincidence?

been saving it all for you

for @mswhich as part of @fandomtrumpshate!

[mswhich]

Jear Desus. I just finished Crown of Neon Lights and dang girlllllllll. Oh my heavens child

thank youuuuu <3 I love that fic and I'm glad you do too

[mswhich]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

Let's spread the self-love 💗

I was also tagged by @cristinuke! <3 Okay, my five absolute favorite fics: 1. Into the Infinite - my love letter to 2001: a Space Odyssey. Still imo the best thing I've written. 2. All These Maneuverings - accidental-turned-intentional incest story based on a movie few people have seen and a book even fewer have read (Voyager (1991) and Homo Faber by Max Frisch, respectively) 3. Direct Manipulation - Bruce Maddox/Data (Star Trek: TNG). This was delightfully, delightfully fun to write. I love wireplay and I should really write it more. 4. Ruthless - Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski murder husbands story. I loved how this one came out. I managed to work in all of my favorite tropes. The only thing it's missing is a Sheriff Stilinski cameo, because I just couldn't quite figure out how to get him in there. 5. Participation Not Mandatory - My "winner's room" F1 fic with Oscar and George (and a kinda toxic Toto). I could have picked a lot of different F1 RPF fics to fill this slot, but this one is one I do often come back to. thank you to both cristinuke and icemav86 for the tag!

[constance-mcentee-deactivated20]

Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work.

"I can note your interest in that feature for future development."

[sawthatmountainburn]

i love how sinners was basically like “the cunnilingus was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the cunnilingus was there”