sup motherfucker

(Kari) having an ongoing existential crisis or whatever. Please enjoy my shithole blog

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

i scrolled down a lot please show us your pink cat again

this is the image some people use as evidence in their claim that my cat is "pink". i assure you these are incorrect assumptions

[pisshandkerchief-deactivated202]

where's the forth horseman

[piedaho]

[the-adventures-of-dave]

May I offer a second, blue Dave?

[piedaho]

[trashgnomesanonymous]

Do you love the colors of the cat

[abraxas365]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i’m obsessed with this

and then, two months later....

🥺

[very-gay-alkyrion]

[draconym]

My tattoo artist told me his teenage son came out to him as trans by giving him a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

"That's cute," I said.

"It was NOT cute!" he snapped. "I thought he was pregnant."

[weevildead]

i eat 15 apples for breakfast then drive myself to the hospital just to watch the doctors get blasted backward into the drywall bc they cant withstand my aura

[rockdoveking]

cant get sentences like this anywhere else

[fantasiees]

“You never reply to messages” I am just one person okay I am understaffed

[yourdumbdevil]

[gemini-enthusiast]

Hilariously funny that they let the guy known for wandering off without warning to look at birds was allowed to do this

[songofsaraneth]

#famously few birds in space#probably the safest place to take him (via @placeofwonder)

[hungry-skeleton]

Teeth weak as fuck why can't you be like bones

[hungry-skeleton]

Bones: with time I will mend this fracture stronger then ever. You were wise to put your faith in me.

Teeth: auuggh pleeasseee get this granule of sugar awaaayy from meee I am MELTING and BURNING nnnNNOOO you are cleaning me TOO HARD;! aaaiughh my fucking enamellll one billion cavities for you!!! Your sins against me are PERMANENT you SICK BITCH

[andmaybegayer]

This is because teeth is skin more than it is bones

[humanfist]

Your right but also please do not say it that way.

[eglerieth]

Having rewatched Pirates of the Carribean several times, I have noticed something interesting. Will Turner is often the only survivor of massive shipwrecks, like the one that killed his mother or the one with the kraken. Other times even when hes alone he survives drowning in ways he really has no right to, like the destruction of the Interceptor. He just often conveniently finds a perfect sized piece of driftwood or something. Remember what Calypso said? About him having a “touch of destiny?” I think that the sea could never kill him, will always cradle him and protect him, because all along he was destined to be the captain of the Flying Dutchman. The sea could no more kill him than a human could cut off their own arm.

[tanoraqui]

#gonna mentally pair this with that post about how elizabeth heralds death #every man she kisses shortly afterwards dies at sea #and she sees the ghostly black pearl as a girl when no one else does #and at the start of the story elizabeth - the sea’s own psychopomp - sees will floating past and sounds the alarm to save him #and she falls in love with the one man the sea will never kill (@aethersea​)

[ekjohnston]

i love them forever

[strikercorbie]

There’s another thing that Elizabeth does that absolutely is because she’s the Ocean’s Psychopomp - when they’re bringing Jack back from the land of the dead and the Black Pearl is sailing through the sea with all the ghosts in the boats, the crew is warned to not try to talk to or rescue them because they can’t even see the Pearl anyways (”we are naught but ghosts to them"). But when Elizabeth sees her father she calls to him, snd then COMMANDS him to hear her and he responds. Shes the only one who interacts with the ghosts who aren’t supposed to be able to perceive them.

I refuse to believe that the writers weren’t doing this on purpose, I think they absolutely were writing Elizabeth with this in mind.

[tendie-defender]

New political strategy just dropped.

Taiwanese parliament member stole a Bill before it could get passed. 

@NFL Someone sign this man as a running back.

[darklordreasonable]

This is simply how they do things in Taiwan. In 2006, DPP deputy Wang Shu-hui successfully prevented a vote on an incoming bill by Eating It.

[alexaloraetheris]

There is a lot to be learned from Taiwan.

[enki2]

[sweateravalanche]

[greghatecrimes]

House drugged that coffee btw

[wileycap]

Selected Excerpts From The Fire Nation Royal Palace Servants' (Unofficial) Handbook

Or: Revisions To Normal Protocol After The Ascension Of Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko

1. Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko should not be referred to by his full titles and styles, no matter the context. This appears to annoy him. "Fire Lord Zuko" and "Lord Zuko" are acceptable, as well as "your majesty" and "my Lord".

1.1 "Lord Hotman", however, is unacceptable.

1.2. Even if the Avatar specifically requests you to address Fire Lord Zuko as that.

1.3. In fact, any attempts by the Avatar, the Lady Beifong, the honorable Tribesman Sokka or even Master Katara to get you to address Fire Lord Zuko by anything other than his proper title should be disregarded.

1.4. Referring to Ozai of the Fire Nation (titles rmvd, dishon.) as "The Loser Lord", however, is acceptable.

2. Fire Lord Zuko is aware of the concept of mortality, but does not seem to understand how it relates to His Majesty. Following activities should be discouraged: Free climbing, glider usage, contact with exotic animals larger than a turtleduck (or smaller, if the animal is known to be venomous), amateur theatre productions, cooking, sailing, spelunking, botany, please see full list in the Matron's office.

2.1. It should be noted that His Majesty's belief that mortality does not apply to him does not appear to be completely unfounded. After several "close calls", it has been decided that upon his demise, Fire Lord Zuko should lie in state for at least two weeks.

2.1.1. We do not want another incident.

3. The turtleducks in the Western Pond do not need to be fed by the servants any more.

3.1. However, the turtleducks should be rotated out at regular intervals in order to prevent overfeeding.

4. At any official social functions, at least three servants should be vigilant in case His Majesty tries to tell a joke.

4.1. It should be noted that there is no concern for His Majesty's jokes being offensive, crass or otherwise contrary to good taste. They are simply very bad. His Majesty always ends up embarrassed.

5. Any children left unattended in the Royal Palace for more than 15 degrees can be retrieved from the Fire Lord's office.

6. Should His Majesty go missing, the following places should be searched: roofs and any high places, cellars and secret passages, the fur of the Avatar's sky bison (which is surprisingly deep), and every place that an ordinary five-year-old would think to hide in during a game of "Hide and Explode."

6.1. All of the Imperial Firebenders as well as any soldier who wears a mask during the course of their duties should be questioned.

6.1.1. Important note: Some of the soldiers who are especially close to His Majesty can perform a passable imitation of him. Efforts should be made to prevent an uneducated soldier from, say, conducting a meeting with the Minister of Agriculture.

6.2. After the recent incident, that list is expanded to include the Kyoshi Warriors and any other groups that might wear concealing full face paint.

6.3. If all of these measures prove ineffective, a letter should be sent to The Dragon of the West, Prince Iroh, asking His Highness to return His Majesty.

6.4. If a ransom note is delivered, it should be immediately checked against the handwriting samples from the honorable Tribesman Sokka as well as Avatar Aang, before any other actions are taken.

6.4.1. Replying "Good luck, he's your problem now" to a ransom note is absolutely unacceptable.

6.4.1.1. To further drive home the point, the Royal Archives are required by law to preserve every single piece of royal correspondence. That thing will end up in a museum.

This handbook will be updated should it prove necessary.

[sedlex]

Sponsored by Puglia's tourism board....

[aevallare]

do you think mocking catholicism is funny

yes. next question

[evilwizard]

me: how about you stop “scrolling” your “dash” and start dashing to deliver me scrolls

my useless apprentice: why do you pay the homunculus more than me

[hetjoshiiii]

my bootleg games arrive today which do I start first

Pokemon Platinum

Pokemon HeartGold

Pokemon Black

Voting ended onJul 23, 2024

[hetjoshiiii]

Thanks guys