Is it easier to be a man? Transgender men have the answer.
Tara Bahrampour from The Washington Post has spoken to transgender men about how their lives changed after they transitioned.
What many of them say is that many people started to treat them more seriously after they started presenting as men. People would listen more carefully to what they had to say. Men would stop interrupting them.
Transgender men normally pass more easily than transgender women, so cis people are more likely to see them as cis men.
However, as Trystan Cotten, Professor of gender studies at California State University Stanislaus, says, life doesn’t necessarily get easier as an African American male:
The way that police officers deal with me, the way that racism undermines my ability to feel safe in the world, affects my mobility, affects where I go. Other African American and Latino Americans grew up as boys and were taught to deal with that at an earlier age. I had to learn from my black and brown brothers about how to stay alive in my new body and retain some dignity while being demeaned by the cops.
Trystan Cotten relaxes after skateboarding in Mission Dolores Park in San Francisco.
Zander Keig is a Coast Guard veteran and works at Naval Medical Center San Diego as a clinical social work case manager. He explains that in some ways he gets less respect now than when he presented as a woman:
Prior to my transition, I was an outspoken radical feminist. I spoke up often, loudly and with confidence. I was encouraged to speak up. I was given awards for my efforts, literally — it was like, “Oh, yeah, speak up, speak out.” When I speak up now, I am often given the direct or indirect message that I am “mansplaining,” “taking up too much space” or “asserting my white male heterosexual privilege.” Never mind that I am a first-generation Mexican American, a transsexual man, and married to the same woman I was with prior to my transition.
He argues that his ability to empathize has grown exponentially post transitioning, because he now factors men into his thinking and feeling about situations.
He sees a significant reduction in friendliness and kindness extended to him in public spaces:
It now feels as though I am on my own: No one, outside of family and close friends, is paying any attention to my well-being.
Alex Coon (top photo), on the other hand, points out that he is now ranked above the women at work when it comes to input and influence:
People now assume I have logic, advice and seniority. They look at me and assume I know the answer, even when I don’t. I’ve been in meetings where everyone else in the room was a woman and more senior, yet I still got asked, “Alex, what do you think? We thought you would know.” I was at an all-team meeting with 40 people, and I was recognized by name for my team’s accomplishments. Whereas next to me, there was another successful team led by a woman, but she was never mentioned by name.
What their stories tell us is that sexism can strike both ways, and that gender stereotypes harm both men and women.
Male to female transgender people will also confirm this. When presenting as men, any “feminine” trait, ability, interest or expression was seen as as shameful and worth of scorn, including expressing feelings and emotions in a rich and meaningful way. Homophobia and transphobia hit those assigned male, cis or trans, hard. Transgender women give up a lot of male privilege when transitioning, but they also gain some female privilege.
Read the whole article over at The Washington Post. It is an important one!
Photos by Evelyn Hockstein
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