The question of whether machines can think… is about as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim.
Edsger Dijkstra
From his essay The threats to computing science (1984)

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Claire Keane
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@muggingthemuse
The question of whether machines can think… is about as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim.
Edsger Dijkstra
From his essay The threats to computing science (1984)
Iocane Powder: keep the MSDS on file and know the precautions
sometimes you have written a 77-word sentence with 2 dashes and 5 commas in it, and that’s just how it goes
Sigh... I’ve done that...
Encounter: drunk raccoon whose bites and scratches deal Radiant damage
O.O
A powerful animal
The vampire hunter’s secret weapon!
This is exactly what Rocket would do if he had to fight vampires with Blade.
“Dude hold on one second…”
Daily Independent Journal, San Rafael, California, September 8, 1955
how to be good at talking
Networking guide
Have I ever shown you guys these weird late 80s Soviet Lord Of The Rings illustrations?
They were made by Sergei Iukhimov, who’s virtually unknown otherwise.
LOTR through a medieval art filter
The Expanse + Onion headlines
Years, YEARS ago, you were making a point about how Noble Quest stories all followed the same pattern. As an example, you made up the take of He Who Would Be King Of The Clowns, once he found the Popcorn of Happiness, the Squeaky Nose of Honesty, etc. I've tried and failed to track the post down, as it would have been a perfectly germane example to give in many conversations, up to and including the new Aquaman movie. Might you, by any chance, have a link to it?
I have absolutely no idea where I said it. My blog? Here on Tumblr? Does anyone out there know?
It was found! (thank you @chapelofthechimes) Here you go: http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2002/10/several-people-asking-what-i-meant-by.asp
Several people asking what I meant by “Plot Coupons”. I think Nick Lowe (the Interzone film critic, not the rock star or the Marvel editor) was the first person to coin the term. It’s a very useful way of thinking about a particular type of structure of a story. It’s the kind of story where the protagonist(s) is told to go and collect a bunch of objects. It’s a very good way into a world, because it takes you all over, looking for things. Often, early on, someone will say something like, “A thousand years ago, Estragon The Dark Clown, for reasons that will never be adequately explained in this book or its many sequels, placed his power in The Funny Hat of Doom, The Big Red Nose of Darkness, the Wig of Desmond, and the Revolving Bow Tie of Light. It has been written, that only when these four objects come together will a Saviour arise to save Clowntown. You, Beppo, you must take this map (helpfully printed in the front of the book for easy reference) and nip around the book obtaining these four things (each the object of veneration by a different culture, each guarded by very different groups of people) at great cost to yourself and to the supporting cast, and then you must bring them back here.” “Me? But I’m not even a full clown. I’m just a popcorn boy.” “They say the gods smile on popcorn boys, lad. But quick – the Vladimirian Army approaches across the hills. Winter will keep them penned down, but if you don’t bring back those plot coupons by the Spring, it will mean death for all of us.” “And if I do? What then, wise old clown?” “Then, Beppo, we will still need to find someone to wear the Hat, the Wig, the Nose and the Revolving Bow Tie. Someone who is truly a hero. But who that person will be, I do not know.” “Don’t look at me like that. Remember I am but a humble popcorn boy.” “Hey kid – you’re leaving Clowntown a popcorn boy, but you’re coming back a hero!” There. Does that help? And have I ever actually recommended Diana Wynne Jones’s TOUGH GUIDE TO FANTASYLAND for anyone who wants to avoid the cliches of Fantasy. (It’s always stew, she points out, despite how long it takes to make stew and how easy it is to burn stew even with a gas range let alone a cooking fire, and never omelettes.) (By the way, books I always used to suggest to people (actually to lend to people) who wanted to be writers, particularly SF writers, were Reginald Bretnor’s The Craft of Science Fiction, Samuel R. Delany’s The Jewel-Hinged Jaw, and I’d add to that a wonderful essay by Alan Moore from around 1985 (republished, I think, in the early 1990s in The Comics Journal.)
I was walking in the forest during winter, and saw a wendigo sitting under a tree. I asked it if it was going to kill me. It said, “No, this is just a dream.” So I sat next to it in the snow for a bit and then he said, “The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave.” And then I woke up.
Well SOMEONE’S third eye is wide fucking open
INTRODUCING…ANDREA VAN HELSING, SUPERNATURAL PSYCHOLOGIST
“I need you to kill someone for me.” The stake thumped onto my desk. A bag, clinking with what I assumed to be gold coins, followed it. I sighed. Some of the older fantastical persons still hadn’t gotten the memo about cash, much less credit cards. Gold? Great if I was planning for retirement. But right now I just needed to make rent.
Andrea Van Helsing is your average freshly-licensed psychologist, checking all the usual boxes:
Small practice in the heart of New Orleans’ French Quarter? Check.
Dad who can’t believe she still only has one advanced degree? Check
Mom who’s constantly trying to set her up on blind dates? Check.
A list of supernatural clients running the gamut from an Italian vampire to a medium whose spirit guide broke up with them? Check.
Okay, so maybe her client list isn’t so average. But she couldn’t disappoint great-great-great-grandpa Abraham, could she?
Andrea Van Helsing, Supernatural Psychologist is a humorous urban fantasy serial with an occasional mystery twist.
Right now, I’m planning to release segments on an intermittent basis to a limited group via Dropbox until I’m able to decide on a more permanent release platform.
If you’re interested in reading, please message me!
As always, reblogs greatly appreciated!
anyway Sherlock Holmes is public domain so catch me writing a story in which Holmes’ seemingly timeless nature is explained in canon as Holmes being a restless preternatural entity discovered (summoned?) by the original Dr. Watson, who acted as its companion/custodian as it careened around doing the only thing that could preoccupy its wildly inhuman mind, ie, getting all up in people’s business and freaking them out with how much shit it knows.
the Holmes entity can die, but always reappears within a generation and without fail seeking out the latest in the Watson line. the Watsons, grown savvy over time, now devote much of their time to a.) preparing the younger members of the family for Holmes’ inevitable return or b.) desperately trying to get the hell out of dodge and live a normal life before it can happen to them as well.
just uuuuh. like a very knowing story about the inevitability of the Holmes and Watson story, centered a creepily inhuman Holmes and the long-suffering family who have spent more than a century documenting it.
OP, please, please, please write this. I will buy and read the shit out of this.
Yes! I would read the hell out of this, too!
“Coniferous University’s College of Time Travel has finished experimenting on the one-hour period extracted back in March. As a public service, that hour will now be used to extend the coming weekend. Please ignore any redundant iterations of yourself encountered during that time.”
-QuietPineTrees
The secrets of Coniferous University will be exposed in the new Quiet Pine Trees book! Pledge now, and start choosing your courses for the upcoming semester*!
*Time travel professors may have unorthodox definitions of “semester” and “upcoming.”
Time-travelling, mind-bending micro-fictions from the creator of @QuietPineTrees
ATTENTION WRITERS
Google BetaBooks. Do it now. It’s the best damn thing EVER.
You just upload your manuscript, write out some questions for your beta readers to answer in each chapter, and invite readers to check out your book!
It’s SO easy!
You can even track your readers! It tells you when they last read, and what chapter they read!
Your beta readers can even highlight and react to the text!!!
There’s also this thing where you can search the website for available readers best suited for YOUR book!
Seriously guys, BetaBooks is the most useful website in the whole world when it comes to beta reading, and… IT’S FREE.
HEY! BECAUSE OF OP, THEY CREATED A SPECIAL WELCOME IF YOUR FOUND THEM THRU A TUMBLR WELCOME, ITS A YOUTUBE VIDEO.
They also sent me this; which was super cool
*slams reblog button*