monkey gif enthusiast

[21][he/they/mysterious third thing] transgender alien in jail

[bunkey]

youre not supposed to be in here

[maykitz]

[3000s]

its called a geek bar because youre smart

[3000s]

its called a hog

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[64mpg]

i’m on onion rings right now

[64mpg]

get me my keys NOW

[mutationgirl]

my strategy for gauging how much water remains in my water bottle is to give it a little shake. this works great because of gravity and fluid dynamics and stuff like that. but when you leave the lid to your water bottle open after taking a sip and forget, there can be problems.

[nextlevelsmp3]

[glittervermin]

[were--ralph]

I hate when straight men sag like its IN THE WINDOW how am I expected NOT to window shop?

[were--ralph]

And theyre also always ALWAYS wearing the most colorful underwear imaginable like dont decorate the tree if you dont want people to look at it

[were--ralph]

And its not the same as women wearing low cleavage dresses or something; the clothing is designed that way, sagging is something men intentionally do for no actual reason other than to show off the unusually thick ass they did not work for that isn't getting eaten its literally putting food on display that no one is allowed to eat im so mad

[pjackk]

i need to carry your pjackklets immediately

Stfu i need to concentate on my dailies

[contemptible-scoundrel]

MASOCHIST MUTUAL: ouhhh I need to receive a botched execution where they try for a gutshot but they miss and hit my steel dog tags instead and it shatters my solar plexus shredding my lungs with bone fragments and they kick me into a ditch where I slowly asphyxiate to death choking on my own blood and bone,,,

SADIST MUTUAL: [picture of newspaper cat] I should fuck a girl who is scared of me

[contemptible-scoundrel]

welcome to my music dojo. *punches you a dozen times in two seconds but stops just before connecting every time* [angelic as fuck voice] can we pretend that air planes in the night sky are like shooting stars...? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now... *bows, palm to fist* *smirks wryly* don't worry. if I wanted to kill you, you'd already be dead. are you ready?

[contemptible-scoundrel]

what if it said our fas-eurhh, fastest and hardest, bonerr... quickest- quickest uh speed for... getting a boner

[contemptible-scoundrel]