That's not a wise thing to do, Holly Blue

Abbey|18|she/her Starving artist|SU and TAZ fan var sc_project=11916654; var sc_invisible=0; var sc_security="5e234086"; var sc_https=1; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[valtsv]

what if 🤔 you defeated me in battle 😔 and when you tilted my head up with your blade beneath my chin 🗡️ we accidentally kissed 💋😳

[valtsv]

what if 🤔 you defeated me in battle 😔 and when you tilted my head up with your blade beneath my chin 🗡️ we accidentally kissed 💋😳

[caterpie]

Pokémon Puzzle Challenge (2000)

[internetwes]

thanks griffin

[maxevvans]

My sis: What’s so funny about Nickelback? Why are you always laughing??

Me:

[long-ago-1234567890]

this post made me and my gf go back and watch the oscar-winning movie happy feet. i looked up the director, george miller, and found out happy feet is only his SECOND most profitable franchise. he is best known as the director of all the mad max films.

to present some information for those who have not seen happy feet: the penguins are animated, but the few humans in the film are live-action. the film has two main messages: accept those who are different than you, and a pro-environmentalism message about stopping ocean pollution and overfishing. spoilers for this 13-year-old movie, but it ends with the main character managing to get the humans to stop polluting and overfishing through the power of dance. meanwhile, mad max is a postapocalyptic series.

so… i propose a theory. happy feet and mad max take place in the same universe, but in different timelines. in the good timeline (the happy feet canon), mumble convinces the humans to stop destroying the earth using the power of dance. this leads into happy feet 2. in the bad timeline (the mad max canon), mumble fails to convince the humans. the penguin colony dies out, humans destroy the earth, and the mad max movies happen a few thousand years after happy feet 1.

[long-ago-1234567890]

[blowjobhorseman]

I know this isn’t Bojack related, but recently instead of turning men down by saying “no, thank you”, I experimented with saying “I’m engaged” and flashing a ring instead. Needless to say, I am not engaged. It still worked better than just saying “no”, but then came questions like “so where is your fiancé?” and “he let you go out by yourself looking like that?” or just remaining persistent in asking for my number. So I went into my closet, and pulled out a fiancé. Now when I turn men down and they need further proof, they can know that I would rather lug around a 5 foot tall plastic skeleton to Steak n Shake and fake a proposal than give them my number.

[blowjobhorseman]

His name is Braunschweiger Last-Name and I think I’m going to take his last name.

[blowjobhorseman]

Update: the wedding was beautiful

[beelz-moved-to-gazmataz]

The level of dedication this took is monumental and enviable and if I cared about anything this much I would be much farther in life

[prince-marionette-deactivated20]

@whatwouldwaltdo

[mintstermonsters]

This is absolutely fantastic. My goodness.

[clownacademia]

ya boy has spoken

[babyanimalgifs]

I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie

[anarchapella]

Ok but the other one is purring so hard

[valgalart]

If I ever don’t reblog this assume I’m dead

[excessively-english-jd]

Fun fact: technically, because of its inability to roar and its ability to purr, the cheetah is not a ‘big cat’ (or Great Cat) - they are still classified as Lesser Cats.

Also you haven’t heard anything until you hear them cheep.

[kunaiman]

YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THAT AND NOT PROVIDE A VIDEO

[excessively-english-jd]

I HAVE REALISED MY MISTAKE AND SHALL RECTIFY IT:

Cheeps.

[gemification-deactivated2020112]

THEY DO THAT???

[unpatchedglitch]

dying from easily treatable diseases to own the libs lol

[77777777777777777777222-deactiv]

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

she was also anti-vax and it was the flu and meningitis that killed her (both completely routine to vaccinate for, esp in your early 20s) so here’s ur reminder to go get vaccinated and not listen to ppl who tell you otherwise!

[black-bees]

After years and years without Internet I’M BAAAACKKKKK

Tschergimite concepts.

[hekacute-deactivated20141230]

Put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe. 

[low-budget-mulan]

Use a waffle instead

[miraculoushedgehog]

Only after marriage

[the-memeblades-chosen-one]

pancake has higher Warm stats (because soft) but waffle has higher Safe stats (because cronch) and french toast has evenly balanced Warm and Safe stats (because soft and also thicck)

equip your Sleeping Girl accordingly with the most fitting breakfast carb armor for her

[valyrfia]

I thought I was fairly good at making decisions then Netflix releases Black Mirror: Bandersnatch and suddenly I’m Chidi Anagonye

[viewtiful-kim-deactivated202105]

Hamlet adaptation where Hamlet is a vlogger and all his soliloquies are breakdowns he uploads to YouTube

[animatedamerican]

… I am unironically here for this

[oldfilmsflicker]

this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

[cherrypitgoddess]

men will PURPOSELY ask you things in a condescending tone and then act surprised when you get an attitude like “i wasn’t trying to start an argument” yes you were travis shut the fuck up

[vi-6w6]

crop tops u say??? 

[onion-souls]

Why’s it always a goddamn mad wizard? I want to see other classes build dungeons.

The mad fighter’s dungeon, which is a tactical nightmare of Tucker’s Kobold proportions.

A mad sorcerer’s dungeon, which is like a wizard dungeon but she has to make it using only 15 spells so it’s kind of predictable and crap.

A mad bard’s dungeon, which is that giant floor piano from Big but as a puzzle. And there’s just a gynosphinx dishing out lame riddles. Ad naseum.

A barbarian’s dungeon, which is just a hole in the ground with spikes. And he’s just there.

[jackassrabbit]

A mad thief’s dungeon is one where you think you know what to expect - whirring blades, narrow walkways, treasure chests rigged to explode. But it seemed like a pretty bland dungeon at first - just endlessly curving passageways carved into rock with the occassional security spell to bypass. It was weird, but nothing that an entire party of adventurers would have trouble with.

You break through the steel wall encasing what you thought was the mastermind’s lair, and realise that the thief isn’t there - it’s the city bank’s vault!

Your spells and weapons have carved a path from the dungeon entrance out in the woods all the way here, and the mad thief has been making Hide checks every few minutes to stealth alongside the party every step of the way, emerging only to claim the loot for themselves. The treasure vanishes before your very eyes, just in time for the bank’s guards to open the vault and see your party awkwardly standing around.

[onion-souls]

A theif’s dungeon would be the worst. The one who goes in and disarms the traps? Yeah, that’s the guy that knows how to make the traps impossible to disarm, the locks uncrackable, the poison darts murderous.

I couldn’t come up with a thief’s dungeon joke, because every other class is a tresspasser in the dungeon. The rogue is the dungeoneer. It’s the ol’ briar patch, and if you hear of a dungeon made by a retired assassin or thief, do not go near it.

[take-me-to-clown-church]

The mad Druids dungeon- It’s just a hell forest. No paths, no markers, no way to find were anything is besides remembering which tree you’ve past and unless you know the forest by heart or can ask that sparrow for directions good luck. Even if you could speak to them, the druid has been spreading rumors amoungst the wildlife that you and your party have come to destroy their home, so all the wild beast are hostile and you’re too busy being chased by wolves and bears to find your way around.

[aridotdash]

I don’t know what the mad monk’s dungeon looks like but the monk looks like this 

[onion-souls]

This is a really good point to bring up because monks tend to opperate in ways so outside the norm for most D&D classes that dungeon made by a high-level monk for a high-level monk would be exhausting for anyone else to deal with. Hope you have full-party spider-climb or flight, you unenlightened chucklefucks

[brunhiddensmusings]

hes just chilling in his zen garden, you say ‘hi’ and then he starts punching you while reciting koan

[vriska]

could you fucking imagine if there was a smash trailer for the new dlc fighter and you just slowly start hearing the beginning of Megalovania playing and everyone’s losing their shit because OH FUCK IT’S SANS but then the screen lights up and it’s just