Proses In Disguise

23 | He/Him | Drowning in my dreams

[mushypoet]

Hello to the random stranger who stumbles on my blog. I am a 20-something trying to make sense of things in my life through writing. This started off as a poetry blog to help me cope with loss of dreams and people but now I've grown and I just post or reblog what I like. If you like something I wrote or reblogged let's talk about it and be friends, I promise I'm a fun person.

One of my favourite poems I have written on this blog is "Cold Water" and then "Let Go." I'd like it if you give it a read

I Love You (yes you, reading this)

[poppiesandpromises]

Some are born with melancholic bones

With shadows that sleep in their eyes

Awakened so soft, just tiny crones

The ancient in half-formed disguise

They search and they seek

Beneath a sparkling sky

In rivers & seas, in every peak

Even a laugh wears a sigh

They walk in the sun

They blossom and bloom

These creatures still run

In spite of the gloom

The galaxies heavy but they wear them well

They all grow into their skin

For they are all magic, a glimmering spell

They carry their own worlds within

[marangho]

There are days when silence feels like a promise

A place I return to

Where even the air refuses to name you

You live somewhere between thought and shadow

A pulse I can’t reach

A warmth that never lands on skin

I’ve learned to speak softly

So the world won’t hear your name escape me

It slips out sometimes

Not as sound

But as a tremor beneath my breath

A ghost brushing the walls of my chest

Sometimes I think I almost see you

In the reflection of still water

But it’s only my own wanting

Learning the shape of your absence

I’ve built a garden out of restraint

Everything here blooms backward

Petals folding in on themselves

Colors draining into quiet

The soil hums with things

That were never said aloud

I water it anyway

Every dawn, I pour the ache back into earth

Watch it drink what I cannot confess

You’d never know how many small deaths

It takes to look at you and smile

The garden grows wilder each day

Roots pressing against the ribs

Petals brushing the heart like apologies

And I wonder

If one day I will vanish into it

If I’ll become the silence itself

Something you pass by

Without ever realizing was once human

[ashstfu]

propaganda i am not falling for:

always moving on. some goodbyes need to rot a little. some griefs need to be held in the mouth like a stone.

beauty defined by algorithms. beauty exists in crow feet and smile lines

pretending to be chill. i’m not chill. i care deeply and inconveniently. i read into things. i write poems about eye contact

beige apartments with no soul. give me bookshelves and incense and loud art

sneaky links and unclear intentions. i want devotion. and also clarity

treating books as decor. read them. dog-ear them. argue with them in the margins

[mushypoet]

THIS

[mushypoet]

Paradyes

Hints of embers in her hair

Pretty eyes and an alluding smile

With words made of honey and wine

I was smitten just by her grace while 

We were waiting and standing in a line

"She is perfect-"

The first thing that came to me 

And there I stood, not talking,

Awkwardly walking back

Hitting myself over the head 

I saw her many times after- didn't say much 

Something about her made me shut up

Why do I freeze infront of the people I like ? 

"Paradyes" I called out like an idiot, one time

Because she liked that brand of hair colors

She didn't remember me or maybe didn't recognise

Again we meet, now in a party.

Pretty like the moon- So close yet so far. 

It's 3 am and she sings along to my guitar

Her silhouette against the red, draws me in

Her voice jolting me sober like a sweet sunrise

And only one thing went through my mind

All I could think was that

"She is perfect-

For someone else"

[yaoiblackmold]

Nothing more embarrassing than accidentally using a big word wrong because now I'm simultaneously both stupid and pretentious, the worst combination of all time

[mushypoet]

Consumerism and Bullshit

I wake up to brush my teeth with toothpaste which has the face of a celebrity on it; I drink coffee because at the age of 14 I saw my brother drink it and thought caffeine was cool; My spectacles brand is named after some random guy and my underwear has the name of an occupation written on it.

We are raised by the pockets of ads between reels or TV shows. Raised to think that all of us can be billionaires and rockstars- just a better job, one more degree, maybe a better social media manager. Impulse-buying that cool miniature replica of a car or that one shade of lipstick nobody else has, Because deep-down it feels good to own things that own you, because things are dependable, because you can fix them if they break.

We are no longer living a lifestyle, we are living in a lifestyle hell.

[lavidaextraordinaria]

What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?

[frenchshower]

My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually

[thepioden]

Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not toxic, just setting you on fire very very slowly.

[sarah-mcelroy-deactivated202601]

[femonologue]

What if there are aliens out there but they subsist on entirely different substances and they’re just scared as shit of us and our crazy ass hell planet? Once in a while some alien anthropologist type suggests checking out the people on this inhabited planet out towards the galaxy’s edge. The other aliens just look at the naive academic with horror. No!! We do not go to that world. That is where the DEATH BREATHERS live. They recreationally consume poisons and are more or less composed of biological fire. Their atmosphere is made of rocket fuel. We must leave the DEATH BREATHERS in peace. Do not go there. Do not.

[optimysticals]

I tend to always reblog posts about humans being terrifying weirdos to aliens.

[alessariel]

@brainsforbabyjesus

[brainsforbabyjesus]

okay but…that is actually what went down on earth about 2.5 billion years ago.

Earth was doing just fine with a mostly nitrogen/carbon dioxide atmosphere and everyone was happy to go on living in anaerobic bliss and then cyanobacteria suddenly hit the scene, altered the atmosphere composition so that there was a ton of oxygen gas and killed practically everything (97% or more of all species on earth).

We are literally descendants of the DEATH BREATHERS and cyanobacteria is our deadly mother.

[digitaldiscipline]

The cyanobacteria holocaust is so big, it doesn’t even have a cool name; it’s just called “The Great Oxygenation Event”; the *second* most apocalyptic extinction event in our planet’s history is the one that’s called THE GREAT DYING (the Permian-Triassic event, about 252 million years ago).

This shit makes like the rock-throwing that wiped out the dinosaurs look like kindergarten.

[violent-darts]

OH HOW I LOVE THIS POST. It makes me so much happier about being alive. I AM BURNING VERY SLOWLY. *hugs it*

[cannedcream]

And once again, the internet makes learning history and science a thousand times more interesting than school ever did.

[tsvrcm-deactivated20161229]

I love shit like this.

[department-of-fagriculture]

I was totally having thoughts along these lines and along comes tumblr to pretty much sum it all up. Bravo~

[nem23]

[mushypoet]

YeLLoW ??

[coldwateronly]

[mushypoet]

Pyromania

Glacial steps took me away

A sliver of death in the sky,

Your eyes give a safe retreat

Serendipitious lullaby.

A glimpse of ascetic life

Hiding quietly in snowy bliss.

I reminisce how the fire in your breath

Felt, the first time that we first kissed.

The white forests know of silence

And how, for you I yearn

You're a sanguine blaze in the night

And all I want is to burn.

[instant-yuri-machine]

[mushypoet]

This is such a metal line

[mushypoet]

Suicide note

In a white room, in solitude,

Hopelessness– all I can see

Though it was by my hands,

It was your weight that suffocated me.

[nondelphic]

you write poetry? ok but have you tried not feeling things so hard it ruins your entire afternoon

[mushypoet]

No

[mushypoet]

And I hope someday your heart is set free

Of this constant pain you hold so deep

This suffering that you tuck behind your ear

And pour into the sniffles you let go at the dead of the night

The sly smile that suddenly masks your eyes

Whenever someone asks "What happened? Are you okay?"

I know that the things you deal with don't come in ease

Waves of depression constantly eroding your peace

And of all the things I wish for you, I wish that you won't have to fight

The urge of harm, at the worst of the times

That you find in yourself, courage against these horrible visions

And I know you will

But what do I truly know ?

I watch you longingly from a distance

Hoping, now that I'm not there to hurt you,

You'll be doing better than before.

My final act of love-

Leaving you alone.

[lovely-v]

It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.

[lovely-v]

It’s like. When I was told to “just be yourself” as a kid I thought it was a passive thing. Like oh easy I just have to sit here and be myself. but the reason so many people think that “being yourself” is bullshit advice is because you actually have to make active choices to do this and it WILL make your life way more fun. You have to wear t-shirts of bands that were popular ten years ago because you like them. You have to do your hair in a way that you find cute or comfortable even if it’s “so nineties”. If your friend says a food you enjoy is gross to them, you can’t be afraid to admit you casually disagree. You have to do hobbies that you’re interested in even if you’re bad at them and you cant feel like you have to get good at something before you tell people it’s an activity you do. You have to read manga and comic books in public and get piercings your relatives think are unattractive. You don’t have to tell people you dislike that you dislike them, but you don’t have to give them your time and attention either. You have to rewatch that kids show you’re nostalgic for even if you’re in your 30s. You have to change your name if you hate it, even if only a few close friends can know. You have to get fun girly drinks at the bar. You have to order hot chocolate when you don’t like coffee and black coffee when you don’t like sweet things. I am still bad at practicing this but it is the only way to make it all tolerable.

[lierdumoa]

First you have to realize that "yourself" is a construct built by the decisions you make. Then it becomes clear that being yourself is a deliberate and intentional practice, not a passive state of existence.

[mushypoet]

Be yourself, people who stay will stay for yourself

[dankmemeuniversity]

[xjayju]

Why is this so funny