The Red Queen's Paradox

I am running faster and faster in order to maintain the same level of dumbassery

[karrakazz]

did you know if you do a few simple stretches every day for a few days running your body might feel less stiff and achey? new discovery i made

[karrakazz]

did you know that doing about 10 minutes of stretching in the morning might make you feel stronger and more flexible? it might even reduce pain in your regular everyday movement. just made this brand new discovery

[karrakazz]

learning today about how just 10 minutes of light stretching every day can reduce pain in your regular movements. anybody heard about this?

[rxborne]

[rexuality]

hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)

[markscherz]

Bonus: you don’t have to cover a lot of ground. I can turn a three kilometre walk into a three hour adventure. Five if there is a small rocky stream or a few ponds.

[tlirsgender]

When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"

[tlirsgender]

[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]

Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post

[tlirsgender]

Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda

[tlirsgender]

Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider

[tlirsgender]

Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[tlirsgender]

Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[paranoidgemsbok]

Stardew valley is problematic because it forces you to have an outside cat in a threatened woodland environment

[the-quasar-hero]

Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications

[liberalsarecool]

Stay engaged.

[ragsy]

I miss her like a shitty ex who despite all her flaws was still always there when i needed her but now she's dead (joann fabrics)

[fuckhugeoctopus]

For years, sci-fi has asked, what if aliens were wetter than us. Project Hail Mary posits a new, daring question. What if we are the wet aliens

[daredevil-vagabond]

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die.

[kosmogrl]

[papayajuan2019]

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

[bitty-bean]

The softest girl you’ve ever seen

[stitchposts]

what is your LEAST favorite stitch?

I don't like counted work at fucking all. So: the cross stitch.

[rabbitindisguise]

reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore

[stitchposts]

FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.

[the-dragongirl]

Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot

[stitchposts]

Don't you dare malign my girl again

[im-a-dream-wizard]

Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently

[stitchposts]

[ao3-anonymous]

We talk about how this website’s hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level

[earendil-was-a-mariner]

I like to think that Hobbits invented the donut as a celebration of Frodo’s journey and ate them to commemorate him throwing the ring in Mt. Doom.

[thelegendofjenna]

I'm trying to take the high road but I'm like, dragging myself bleeding and sobbing along the high road while looking so so longingly at the low road

[rattyjol]

#AND that fucker taking the low road is going to get to Scotland afore me. very annoying.

[dubiousculturalartifact]

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

[anyroads]

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

[mindovermuses]

But who is the single human cast member in this tale? Who gets to put in an Oscar-worthy performance alongside the Muppets and what role are they to play?

[muffinflarp69]

There’s no single human, everyone is a Muppet except for one scene. Circe, played by Janice, turns Odysseus’s crew into humans who still behave animalistic and are all played by Academy Award winning actors.