Fuck You Kid

@mydickisyourjesus

| Joe | 18|

11.5K posts

marvel dudebros: girls only watch marvel movies for the hot shirtless men

why girls acually watch marvel movies:

everyone who reads this post will get some big spicy joy within 24 large minutes (hours)

darknesshaspurplehair

Ok y'all but like I’m not even kidding about this I read this post yesterday and today I got an email from the peeps at hamilton and I won the lotto gor $10 tickets and I would like to give all my thanks to the internet’s favorite fish, Goldie Gurston, for making this possible because I totally believe they did this with their amazing gay powers

So I know this is likely a coincidence…but I reblogged this and just now discovered I’ve been given a $150 amazon gift card as a bonus at work. So thank you, fish!

If it worked for them I hope it works for everyone else

Some big spicy joy pls

felixluvsketchup-deactivated202

SOME BIG SPICY JOY PLEASE

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Pleass

When the whole party is down but your bard is up

maliciousindungeon

jack had absolutely no right to go this hard

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Jack Black always goes this hard.

Don’t feel bad if you’re sensitive to negative feedback because apparently after one particular bad review Hans Christian Andersen was found just sobbing while lying face down in the dirt

YOU LEFT OUT THE BEST PART THOUGH! HE WAS CRYING FACE DOWN IN THE DIRT IN CHARLES DICKENSEN´S YARD!!

WHERE HE HAD BEEN STAYING FOR WEEKS, LONG OVERSTAYING HIS WELCOME, AND WAS ANNOYING THE FUCK OUT OF DICKENS

Dickens: Where’s Anderson…?

*peeks out the window*

Anderson:

Dickens:

electricbluewolf

What a good friend.

thistherapylife

I love this so much

saythefisherman

Thanos is a weak ass bitch of a villain because ever since killmonger I need all my villains to pull up with some style, looks, a certain je ne sais quoi. Killmonger stole a thousand year old artifact and wore it as armor and wore solid gold fangs. What did Thanos wear? The same body armor for hundreds of years and a dumb glove that wasn’t even designer

saythefisherman

People are all like “he’s an alien” like so was Hela and she pulled up with some iconic goth looks, Chanel horned helmet, a beautiful smokey eye, nails that could cut diamonds, Thanos has no excuse fashion is universal

writemeasandwich

“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be” oh I’m sorry Thanos I couldn’t hear you over your brown pants from fucking K-Mart

What’s the difference between a villain and a supervillain?

you-had-me-at-hallow

I have a headcanon that Hermione insists her children attend some primary muggle schooling before Hogwarts, just as she had done. Now, imagine Arthur Weasley attending his grandchild’s science fair, being the ultra proud grandfather….and yet also completely geeking out over absolutely EVERYTHING.

Canon

“That is a volcano, that is a VERY SMALL VOLCANO, how - young lady, how did you make this? Baking soda and food coloring? MARVELOUS!”

worlds-of-ink-and-paper

the kids would love him.

Never have I ever loved anything more than I love this

All the muggle teachers would think he was being so adorable, “pretending” not to know how potato batteries and mini-volcanoes work, fawning over the hard work the kids did on even the simplest the projects. And he comes every year, because after the kids have aged out (”gone on to some boarding school in Scotland,” the teachers say over bad coffee in the break room, “they didn’t seem the type”), he gets an honorary invitation to the fair every year, because he never stops making the kids feel smart and good.

“And this airy-o-plane, it flies by means of a… rubber band? Did I hear that correctly? No magic at all? Doesn’t flap its wings like a bird? MARVELOUS! What an ingenious method of flight!” *looks around* “You, sir! With the ribbons! This child deserves one of those prizes!”

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

This is so wholesome.

Arthur Weasley, as the Science Fair attendee we all deserve.

After a couple years Arthur Weasley brings his own ribbons. They shimmer in a way that makes everyone wonder what kind of ink he uses—“secrets!” he tells anyone who asks—but they’re beautiful. They’re coveted even more than the official ribbons, because they remind you that while he was heaping praise on you, you felt magical.

purple-possibilities

Inevitably, there arrives a muggle born at hogwarts that attended that muggle school. They meet Arthur, either through a school function, or later at the ministry. Suddenly everything about Arthur makes Sense.

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tony: im in target do you need anything

peter: oh just pjs i guess

tony: okay

-

peter, staring at airplane ownership papers in his hands: pjs as in pajamas, mr stark, not private jets, what the fuck,

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peter: they just cancelled my favorite show!

tony: which one lol

-

peter: oh nvm theyre filming the new season!

peter, after reading that tony paid nbc & the actors to keep the show going: MR. STARK WHAT THE FUCK

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peter, unassuming child: id die for dominos rn

tony: *makes a phonecall*

peter, immediately recalling the two jets he doesnt even know what to do with or where to fucking keep or how to not get killed by aunt may because of them: ONE PIZZA. ONE. NOT THE WHOLE ENTIRE FRANCHISE OR I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD,

tony, looking guilty: *hangs up*

# same energy

The difference between Dad Energy and Daddy Energy

imthemuthafuckingcricket

When I watched The Mummy as a kid I always thought I would grow up to be like Evelyn; sophisticated, intelligent, living in Egypt, a bit clumsy but overall put together. Married to Brendan Fraser.

But I grew up to be like Johnathan; constantly running away from my problems, unfunny jokes, drink always in hand, the very epitome of bi-disaster. Chillin with skeletons.

A dream

draconian-rex-deactivated202207

Since a bunch of you are seemingly into tall, skinny dudes with questionable fashion choices, I present your next crush:

Mr. Mint ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hey can you kill me real quick? I don’t want to see this get out of hand

Yeah, okay.

I love how everyone’s all like “tumblr” when actually Candyland had canonical “sexy redesigns” in 2013

This idea of … sexy guy might skew a little camp, I’ve hardly seen that stop anyone

Lord Licorice though…

Hold on to your steampunk, cybergoth panties, folks.

WHAT

leonitic-deactivated20190601

HELLO?????????????

sweetpotatertatas

IGNORE MY LAST TWO POSTS

SMSLSKSSKSKSNZKSN

furbearingbrick

reading this post is like being punched in a million directions at once

vital-information

Same energy.

my gender is bees. thats it. just bees thats all there is to it

whats in your pants then

i want you to look me in the eyes and take a wild fucking guess

My anxiety, depression and ADHD interacting

shan-onii-deactivated20260207

I heard they literally did this for an hour, stoned out of their fucking minds

Incredible

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Sinbad went home and fired his agent 😂

Me when I was 15 and hated everyone vs me now

There’s this girl at my school and she’s really nice and I remember sometime last year at one point she would carry a clicker around and click it everytime she had a happy thought/something good happened/she laughed etc. It was always kind of cute how you’d just hear the little click every once in a while throughout class it always made me smile knowing that it was bc something made her feel happy idk

blackwoolncrown

she was training herself to be happy oh my god

aureliaborealis

does it work???? Imagine feeling yourself slipping into depression and you just click a few times and your brain says “wait, this is the sound of happiness I have to release serotonin”

thebigblackwolfe

She fucking Pavlov’d herself, the absolute madwoman

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