I Crave Death

Band rant blog! I march the alto sax and play oboe in concert band. I was also in guard for a year.

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

Band Director: Okay guys I know that we just set this drill at the last rehearsal and we put music on it today and we’ve only marched and played it once but we’re going to perform it in front of an audience of hundreds of people right now anyway.

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

At least I have the excuse of a broken instrument this time...

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

Hi I crave Death

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

Me right now looking at the Christmas music we have to play

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

Lol me during every rehearsal

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

Me right now after tonight’s rehearsal

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

“Oh, the Christmas Parade? Don’t you mean Hell, but frozen?”

-Me, every year during the parade, knowing I’ll get sick after it’s over

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

Every Section in my School’s Band Except for the Saxophones:

The Saxophones, Watching the entire Band get Yelled at for Fighting:

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

The Saxophone Section at my School, by Grade

Freshmen: Playing meme songs, complaining about rehearsals, tries to boss around the sophomores,“you know you’re in band when...”

Sophomores: Only plays when told to, tired, done with the Freshmen, honestly just trying to get through the season, “lol I still don’t have the stand tunes memorized”

Juniors: Honestly really good players, blasts high notes at any given opportunity, “next year when I’m section leader...”

Seniors: Carries the section on their backs while playing, also blasting high notes, team bonding, either “oh my god this is the last time I’ll...” or “thank god it’s finally over”

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

“Look at them, those poor, poor souls. They have no idea what they’re getting themselves into...”

- Me, watching 8th graders audition for color guard every year after I quit

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

Band Director:

Change your reeds about every three weeks, always have a backup reed and NEVER play on a broken reed during a concert or an audition.

Me, a broke high school oboe player, to my band friends:

“Yeah my reed broke like four months ago but I’ve had it for about six, so that’s good. Also the last concert of the year is tomorrow and I’m planning on playing my solo on said broken reed.”

[mylifeasanoboeandsaxplayer]

Saxophone and other single reed players:

Oh my god my reeds are so expensive! Whyyy am I being tortured like this?

Double reed players:

*Clutches their $10-$35 reeds to their chest* Am I a joke to you?