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MCU Flower crown Tony ko-fi sketch commission for helloiamparker on Twitter!
twitter // Commission me // Buy me a ko-fi
SUMMER COMMISSION SALE NOW OPEN! 🌸
Someone please send in a Stranger Things request!!
I've finally binge-watched all the seasons, and I'm obsessed!!!
- A
This is one of my other blogs! So while I'm not super active in this fandom right now, I'd love it if you sent in requests at this blog!!
@the-faultofdaedalus im losing it
YEAH LIKE. rocket is here for. reasons idk lets say that rocket literally just went to the place with the most tech he could find on this stupid rock. (he couldn’t find wakanda so. tony’s house it is) and he’s ripping the wires out of the tv muttering about “stupid goddamn humans” when tony walks in, sees this, and quickly walks back out.
texts steve for advice, and also to make sure he’s not hallucinating.
and then…. ok, “play dad,” he can do that, why not, so he walks BACK into the living room, both hands up so the raccoon doesn’t shot him, and just says the first dad-ish thing that comes to mind: “do you know how to ride a bike?”
to which rocket says “what the fuck’s a bike.” (im pretty sure space doesn’t have bikes. and if they did i dont think there’s any rocket can ride?) and “don’t move or i will shoot your ass.”
“ok.” Tony says, “im not gonna hurt you or anything, but. why…. are you here? and what are you doing to my tv?”
“i crashed and im trying to send a message to my crew,” Rocket says, still pointing his very large gun at tony.
“you’re sending to space?” Tony asks, and then, “You’re not gonna go very far with sat TV, but i own some satellites? i could get them broadcasting for you?”
Rocket is still very confused, because this was not the reaction he expected from anyone on this planet, but accepts Tony’s help. they get a message (”hey assholes, YOU DROPPED SOMETHING”) out to where the guardians probably are, and then they’ve just gotta hurry up and wait.
and tony’s still low-key on the bike thing, so he gets rocket down to the shop and ends up custom-making a bike for him out of some spare gearhubs and metal piping he had lying around, and then for the next 4 hours until the gardians receive and send back a message (tony has a LOT of questions about how they’re getting the signal out and back that fast) tony tries to teach rocket how to ride a bike.
Rocket, of course, keeps the bike. Sometimes he rides around the ship with it, much to the annoyance of the others.
@the-faultofdaedalus you made this post 3000% better 👏
AU where people think Tony and Iron Man are dating and, when he makes a statement not too unlike “I cannot STRESS how much we are NOT dating” that just makes people double-down on how they’re dating even MORE.
Meanwhile, everyone that does know Tony is Iron Man just. Laugh their asses off.
Or maybe he takes it, runs with it, and tells Ellen DeGeneres that “Iron Man’s a really good kisser.”
peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols
“hey FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there”
“Old Man Bifocals protocol activated, Boss”
“what the fuck did you just say to me”
“FRIDAY alert the team that my thrusters are down and i can’t fly”
“sure thing, activating I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up Protocol”
“PETER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”
Tony: FRIDAY, open these encrypted files we don’t have a lot of time-
FRIDAY: activating the Fr E Sh A Voca Do protocol
Tony, sobbing: PETER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES THIS MEAN
AMAZING
-Peter gets hurt in a battle- FRIDAY: Bone Hurting Juice Protocol has been activated - Mr. Parker is in distress. Tony: -stops- He’s what? The what? Peter: -over the com- Oof, ouch… my bones…
Tony: FRIDAY! Engage autopilot!
FRIDAY: Activating Jesus Take The Wheel protocol.
Tony: Really, Pete?
Jdjsjsjsks
Tony: Where in the world is that kid??..FRIDAY!! Activate Peter’s GPS
FRIDAY: Activating
“ Helicopter parent protocol”
Tony: *sighs*….why do I even bother
Tony: FRIDAY divert all energy to thrusters
FRIDAY: nyOOOOOooOOoM protocol activated
i literally can’t breathe from this
Go d
Tony, in front of team: FRIDAY activate the electric taze blast
Friday: Activating ‘Wanna Be Thor’ protocol
Thor: *triumphantly laughs*
Tony,mumbling: Now the boys’ gone too far.
Tony: Friday, time to bring out The Blades
FRIDAY: “oh my god why does he have a knife” protocol activated
Tony:
Villain:
Tony:
Villain: did you name it like that on purpose or,,,
Tony, crying: shut up loser
This gets better everytime it shows up on my dash
I’m always going to reblog this! If I don’t, then it means I’m dead
tony: friday, reset all protocol names
friday: i’m sorry sir, the “i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me” action is restricted
tony: peter what the fuck-
Avengers Endgame (2019)
Clint: I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Tony: You were flirting with Phil last night.
Clint: So? He’s my husband.
Tony: You asked him if he was single.
Tony: And cried when he said he wasn’t. I had JARVIS record it.
Clint is gonna kill to get that footage deleted
OMG!! This is freaking amazing!!
MCU Characters as Greek Gods
the rest of the avengers literally aint got shit on tony. parents killed by an assassin. sold to terrorist ring by godfather and legal guardian. open heart surgery w/o anesthetics, magnet powered by car battery in chest so that fucking shrapnels dont slice through his heart. hiking through arabian desert in 57°C with weak heart, injuries and no proper attire. paralyzed and left to die of shrapnel by that same godfather. almost died of a billion volt discharge fighting him. survived head on lighting blast by thor himself. got his house thrown at him after a terrorist attack was sent on his house. been living with palladium poisoning and survived only cause he managed to create a new chemical element with 7% help of his shitbag dead dad. survived an army of killer robots. survived the beating of two supersoldiers and laying beaten to pulp mid-siberia exposed to the negative 25 degrees celsius. survived an angry hulk attack and almost subdued the bitch through brute force. attached himself to a nuke and flew it through a wormhole into space, free fell from the fucking sky and almost hit the ground with full force. survived getting attacked by 20th century deadliest assassin slash super soldier with only bullet proof glasses and one (1) gauntlet. saved his damn self from being captured and tied up by killian. survived a dead drop in kansas. survived the full blast of a power stone. got an ENTIRE FUCKING MOON, A WHOLE FUCKING CELESTIAL BODY THROWN AT HIM HEAD ON, AND GOT UP 4 SECONDS LATER, UNBOTHERED, SHAKING THE DUST OFF HIS SHOULDER. ALL THIS WHILE BEING A 100% HUMAN AND UNTRAINED LIKE DO YOU ALL JUST IGNORE HOW FUCKING BADASS AND UNKILLABLE THIS MAN IS OR DOES STEVE NEED TO DROP THE “EARTHS BEST DEFENDER” ON YOUR OBLIVIOUS ASSES AGAIN
The Strongest Avenger.
The Strongest Avenger
The Strongest Avenger
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This is so sweet!! I'm so glad you like my writing and I'm going to try to be better about updating my blogs this year!
I AM DECEASED 😭😭
for the love of god UNMUTE this
SOME OF YALL DO NOT NEED ACCESS TO TECHNOLOGY 💀💀💀
Avengers AU - If Tony was Peter’s biological father
Tony is super protective of his son. And Peter, inspired by his dad, becomes Spiderman anyway (his dad and his Uncle Rhodey figure him out in a second though).
My other Avengers AUs
Just wanted to add:
hate to be That Guy but who’s gonna put the Infinity War gif in ????
now add the umbrella scene for all the sadness you’ve caused me
THE LAST ONE OMG I LOVE YOU
Mrs. Jefferson
Yay Jefferson!!!
Let me know what you think! Send any ideas or requests you have to my Ask Box!
———————————————————————————————
“Mister President, thank you for inviting us. You and your wife have a lovely home.” Quietly handing a bottle of French wine to Martha Washington, “This is for you, Missus Washington. Thomas got it from France, I hope you like wine”
Martha smiles, taking the offered bottle, “Thank you very much, but please call me Martha. May I call you Y/N?”
“Of course, I’d be honored!” Taking Thomas’ arm, you follow Martha and George further into their large house.
“We’re very glad you could make it, Y/N. Thomas said he would be coming alone when I first invited him” George glances at his Secretary of State with a raised eyebrow, “What made you change your mind?”
“Funny story, my Thomas didn’t actually tell me about your dinner invitation until just recently. Apparently he got into another argument with a Mister Alexander Hamilton about how I refused to come because I couldn’t stand to spend time with my own husband. Thomas decided to tell me about the invitation, he’s only luck that I had a dress”
George chuckles, “You’ve been surprisingly quiet tonight, Thomas, that’s quite unlike you. Is something wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Washington” Thomas’ eyes stray to you, instantly softening, “Y/N has been explaining everything just fine, I haven’t had anything to add”
“That’s a surprise, you always seem to have things to add in cabinet meetings”
You snort, “Really? He couldn’t even talk to me the first time we met, didn’t you almost break your wrist?”
“I dislocated it, darlin’, when I tried to jump a fence.”
Both George and Martha turn wide eyes to your husband, “You dislocated your wrist to impress a woman?”
“Oh yes, he had to stay in his home for a month while it healed. I visited him, and we spent quite a lot of time together while he got better. When my father left Monticello Thomas and I continued to write to each other and eventually got engaged, we married in France.”
“Your story spans the world, my dear. Thomas is a lucky man”
Reaching out you gently pat Martha’s arm, “On the contrary, I’m the lucky one. My Thomas is the love my life, I cannot imagine another man as my husband”
“I love you too, darlin’” Thomas presses a kiss to your forehead, “Is everyone already here, Washington?”
“Call me George, Thomas, at least while you’re in my own home” George rolls his eyes with an exasperated sigh, “And yes, you are the last ones to arrive”
“That’s my fault, George, I couldn’t find my matching stockings”
The four of you finally arrive at the parlor, where everyone is socializing before dinner. James Madison is the first one to notice you and Thomas, “Thomas! Y/N! You’re finally here!”
You break into a bright smile, “Jemmie! It’s so good to see you!”
James wraps you and a tight hug, “I haven’t seen you in a month! You and Thomas need to come over for dinner some time, something other than that God-awful Macaroni and Cheese”
“I like Thomas’ Macaroni and Cheese, thank you very much, Jemmie. But I suppose we can eat something else when we have dinner together”
Thomas snorts, “Thanks for that, James. Glad to know you really love me”
“You just need to learn that no one likes that weird food but you, and apparently your wife!”
Before Thomas can come up with a retort there’s a loud voice calling his name from across the room, “Well, if it isn’t Thomas Jefferson. I see you managed to force your wife to actually come and spend time with you, just had to prove me wrong, huh?”
The woman by his side rolls her eyes and squeezes the small man’s arm, “Alexander, be nice. This is a party, we’re supposed to be having fun” She holds out a slender hand to you, “My name is Elizabeth Hamilton, but everyone calls me Eliza. It’s lovely to meet you.”
Taking the woman’s hand, you shake it quickly, “Y/N Jefferson, you can call me Y/N, and this is my husband Thomas.”
“So, you’re the infamous Jefferson, I’ve heard quite a lot of ranting about you” Eliza chuckles, “I’m sure Alexander is exaggerating how terrible you are -”
“I’m not, my dear. Jefferson and I don’t agree on anything, he can be a down-right asshole most of the time.” Alexander turns, what you’re sure he thinks is a charming smile onto you, “I truly don’t know how he got you to marry him, I would have smothered him in my sleep by now. I mean -”
Clearing your throat sharply, your eyes lock on the smaller mans, “Mister Hamilton, I’m only going to say this once, so please listen carefully and keep your mouth shut until I’m done.”
Thomas’ arm wraps around your waist, trying to pull you away from his rival. To Alexander it looks like he’s trying to hold his wife back from a fight, “Darlin’ …”
You squirm out of your husbands arms, “You’re going to keep quiet too, Thomas, and listen. I might be yelling at him, but you’ll keep these words in mind.” Eyes locking on the shorter mans, you take a breath, “I don’t care that you don’t agree with my husband’s political views. If everyone agreed with everyone else this country that so many died for would go to shit rather quickly. What I have a problem with is you attacking him personally. You aren’t his friend, you don’t even know him, and you damn sure don’t know me. You try to make him feel insecure by saying that I don’t want to spend time with him. The two of you can argue and attack each other politically all you want, but leave personal lives out of it. I love my husband, and I will gladly kick your ass for him, Hamilton. He’d never physically attack you, he has too much control for that, I however was raised with six brothers and was taught to use my fists before my words.” You draw yourself up to your full height, and now look down your nose at the smaller man in front of you, “With all due respect Mister Hamilton, back off my husband.” You turn back towards Eliza, “Now that the unpleasant business of this evening is taken care of, why don’t we get a drink together”
Eliza grins, having never seen another person lecture her husband, “I would love to, do you think -”
“I think our husbands will be completely civil while we’re away. Right, Thomas?”
Thomas’ lips quirk up, “Of course, love. I’ll be a complete gentleman, we won’t even talk about work. How old is your son now, Hamilton?”
Feeling that the subject is safe enough, you and Eliza walk over toward the drinks, getting stopped several times to talk to the other cabinet members and their wives.
Alexander sips his own glass of wine, “Your wife is … definitely something”
“She’s amazing, best thing that ever happened to me” Thomas can’t seem to keep his eyes off her, even when she’s all the way across the room, “I had no idea she was going to do that by the way, Y/N has a mind of her own”
“She’s right though, I don’t know you well enough to attack you personally. Arguing about politics and country views is another thing, those we make public. Our wives, children, and home should be off limits. Deal?”
“Deal”
Alexander glances up at his rival, this time with a smirk on his face, “You know you’re totally whipped, man. She could get you to do anything she wanted, and you wouldn’t even notice.”
Thomas just grins, “She wouldn’t even have to try. I’d give her anything she wanted, and she’d fight a war to defend me, that’s just how she is. Once you have Y/N’s loyalty you have it for life, it’s worth its weight in gold and not something I ever want to lose”
“You’re a lucky man, Jefferson, to have found a woman like that. My Eliza is one of the best women I’ve ever met, she kind, and trusting, and she gave me Philip.” Alexander glances up at Thomas, “Do you have any children?”
“We had a daughter when we were first married, several years ago, but she died shortly after her birth. Y/N and I were devastated, decided to wait a little while before we had any more children. I hope she’s ready soon”
Alexander hums, “I’m sorry for your loss, Thomas. I wish you luck in having another child. I couldn’t imagine anything happening to Philip, much less any other children Eliza and I might have”
“Thank you, Alexander.” The two lapse into comfortable silence, watching their respective wives as they walk around the room, “This does not mean I will agree with anything you say in cabinet meetings”
“Damnit, Jefferson, we were having a moment”
The dead sea is less salty 😂😂
“He’s just a kid, he can fall over”
iM WHEEZING
“I love those guys, they can stay.”
BLESS HIMMM
“Thanks for nothing, Russo.”
‘Made in Wakanda’
Bucky Barnes @ Winter Soldier fanart by Xanseviera 2017