Honestly, it's whatever

[desolationlesbian]

remember when Elementary adapted the holmes stories and made Watson a woman which removed the gay subtext but then made Moriarty also a woman and gave them weird lesbian subtext. masterful technique. the never-before-seen uno yuri reverse

[mistbjorn]

totally normal 10ft tall portrait of your nemesis’ coworker

[dogpuppy]

[capacity2]

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

[starlit-syncopation]

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

[capacity2]

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

[weaselknievel]

answered the phone at work and the customer asked "are you a real person" and I said "that's kind of a big question" and then there was a really awkward pause and then I said yes

[sunsofcarcosa]

my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called "honorable knight" youll be zonked out of your gourd

me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit

5 minutes later: only in death does duty end

my buddy pacing: i am the sword and the hand that wields it

[roycohn]

nothing but respect for our first openly horny female senator

[thegaywitchagenda]

oh she knows what she's doing

[tiktoksijustthinkareneat]

[frostyemma]

I want 50 movies about her

[amandacanwrite]

THE BIT WITH THE EMPEROR IS SO GOOD

[penny-anna]

i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:

1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.

2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.

60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.

[emmikay]

60 guys only manage to stab the 1 guy 23 times: I can't fucking breathe I'm laughing too hard, you suck at this

[chongoblog]

Genie: Come on, you have only one of your three wishes left. Can you please make it good?

Me: No ❤️

My new iguana: How are you doing that with your mouth?

[spacepsychologist]

Sorry these are being peer-reviewed.

[auxphono]

Please please please don't click those phishing texts

[auxphono]

[deep-state-partisan]

Worry about it kitten

[graceebooks]

ok ♥️

fuck ♥️

[some-pers0n]

TWO FACTOR AUTHORIZATION

light thats not how the book works

MICROSOFT TEAMS

[ciqqy]

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

[ciqqy]

[gumi-megpoidd]

I am whatever gender has the shortest line at the bathroom

[gumi-megpoidd]

No need I think

[maxi-is-not-well]

​I see this one going places

[gumi-megpoidd]

Yeah. The bathroom

[im-a-vertebrate]

ah but which bathroom

[gumi-megpoidd]

the one with the shortest line did you not read the post

[iloveyou9]

[kaylapocalypse]

An event happened to me tonight

[kaylapocalypse]

I’m chosing to believe he didn’t pee. I’m chosing to believe he got in and immediately went “uh oh”

But, before he could get out, I got in. So then, he helplessly just turned to me and said the first thing that could describe our mutual situation:

Welcome to the pee pee palace.

[tempestrune]

GET BIG SANDWICH YOUR CITY NOW

[coyotedollfag]