✰✰Mick/Tomm | 21 | he/him - it/its - ey/em | dyslexic(do what you wish with this information ) | pansexual |trans | greyromantic |from Greece (🇬🇷/🇲🇩) | a mess✰✰
Imagine him crying as he's desperately trying to clean up the vandalism done on Harvey's poster. Like, just the image of Brucie Wayne crying in public for the first time while cleaning up a ruined poster like a desperate little thing despite knowing it won't be able to change reality.
I feel so bad for wanting to complain about being left out of my friend group bc the 3 of them are literally in a polycule , I have my own issues yeah maybe I'm a bit too sensitive about being left out , but it still hurts, and I can't just say "hey can you guys not be together as much"
Something happens, we joke around (mostly me and j) L gets angry, leaves and R and J go immediately after them , they then just cuddle in L's room while I wait for them to return to the living room , to finish the game we were playing or whatever , they usually don't return, R tried once to convince me that she will go talk to them to continue the game
Idk after the third time this happened this week I just gave up , went to my room didn't want to go out with them
It is affecting me so fucking much it's so fucking stupid I want to cry, I suddenly feel 12 again, all the girls at the party have disappeared into a bedroom while I remain in the living room to eat cake , go home and try to forget about it
I remember how I was looked at when I entered that room , ik my friends wouldn't do that , they wouldn't treat me so cruelly , but I can feel my presence interrupting them
J tries to be nice about it, I think they notice that I don't have it in me to be the house clown after shit like that happens
I just want to curl into a ball , cry my eyes out and not feel so alone
This is so stupid ik I shouldn't need to be verbally invited to join in on things , but I'm just scared to do it otherwise, bc I remember being in school and how the whole climate and aura of the conversation would change once I appeared
I still have dreams about my childhood "friends" bumping into me while walking out in my neighborhood, trying to politely cut the conversation short, choking on the mean comments they try to repress
I'm getting mean to them , I'm easy to offend, I can't help but feel hurt seeing them just casually hang out like I also don't exist in the same space, I think R and L are starting to sense the tense atmosphere, how easy I am to snap over the slightest impoliteness
I can feel myself shutting down from something so fucking stupid, I am so incredibly pathetic
What a fucking crybaby, shutting down bc MY FUCKING ROOMMATES AND FRIEND ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER I want to put my head through a wall
I hate feeling like a stupid child I hate it so fucking much
I hate feeling like I have to beg for ppl to tolerate my presence in a friend group
kianamaiart
tangentwithtanner
annaxmalina
gummygunk
