All Crayons are Valid @myrmonarch - Tumblr Blog

prohaloplayer-deactivated202601

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

[trying to manipulate the empty spaces dollgirl homie for profit] can that one open its ladys wallet and withdraw the debit card and tell me the numbers, the expiration date, and the three digit code on the back. [clenching and unclenching jaw as it brandishes another library card with a flat expression] Please

dailydragonplush

Eglin, Charlie Bears

sturner-artblog

Tenner

exiledelle

Visit Original Link

does this still count as a dub if its just utdr sfx and no voices?

crumbugz

RANDOM HEADCANON GO-- OKAY SO since Caine is an AI I imagine that when he plays cards game (like UNO), he only has to view the cards in his hand once, that being when he draws them. With that being said, what if for the sake efficiency he keeps them stacked tightly in his hands (i say with experience), so on multiple occasions whoever is playing with him forgets that he does that (since usually the person would at least have to review their hand every once in a while) and calls him on not saying UNO, to which then have to draw cards themselves because he doesn't in fact have UNO

Yeah.

This is- this is probably nothing isn't it

HEH. Anyways Gangle won

filibusterfrog

just a little boy

#parrot dragon!!!

deadeyesopened

number1mongrel

"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

jf-madjesters1

Here is that Caine x Tenna comic I promised to share. But no kiss! Sorry guys, but I only promised to draw them kissing if Caine won that last round, but Caine didn't won. Tenna did. I gotta keep my word. But hey! There is always the next Tumblr Sexyman contest, next year! Haha! Enjoy!

Tumblr post and contest by @mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026

Thanks for putting the contest together in the first place! It got me inspired and got me drawing all these cool drawings. It was fun.

boringkate

Me: *touching my girlfriend*

My girlfriend: *touching me*

Me (thinking to myself): This is so fucked up of me. I'm being so selfish rn. I'm getting to feel her touch AND to touch her. What's she even getting in return? Probably nothing comparable.

389

smallpwbbles

I love how I posed Kinger like he has an elbow to rest on his hand

fieropasto-deactivated20210613

may have found the funniest possible thing ever in this essay on medieval sex laws im reading hold on

fieropasto-deactivated20210613

From Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe by James A. Brundage

wizardshark

This is how tiktok users decide if you deserve to die or not

stereotype-embodier

Wait wait wait

You weren't allowed to be naked???

foone

every time I always want to write a program to do the flowchart for you (if you don't know, a lot of early programming is taught as flowcharts (or at least used to be), so there's a natural flowchart->computer program connection already in my mind)

like it could ask you the yes/no questions, then you enter the date and it calculates if it's one of these dates when it's sin. and it'd be a fun research thing, you know? to go look up what exactly the rules are around those dates. it could be like an apple II program, since it's very simple.

plus you could hook it in with the penances for those sins! so it can also be used for reference. if you accidentally fucked your wife on a feast day, how bad as sin is that? do you gotta only eat bread and water for three years, stay off the ale for 6, and leave the country?¹ or do you just gotta stay on bread & water for a 100 days²?

but then sometimes you gotta realize that you're seriously considering writing BASIC software for Early Middle Ages catholic priests? based on a type of document that went out of favor IN THE TWELFTH CENTURY AD?

yeah I am. I just really like programming and religious miscellanea. this is awesome.

Penitential of Finnian (pdf link), what you gotta do if you kill your friend not out of hatred but because the devil made you do it.

Penitential of Cummean (link), what you gotta do if you puked somewhere and a dog ate it. Some other fun bits of Cummean: If a cleric fathers a child, they should do one year bread and water. Unless the child is a boy, then it's 7 years, get out the country, and no fucking! CHASTITY FOR SEVEN YEARS, CHURCHMAN! Speaking of clerics and not fucking: if a cleric "makes love to a woman [..] in his mind", that's 7 days penance on the bread and water. But if the reason it was only in your mind was because you asked her, and she said no? FORTY DAYS PENANCE, LOSER!

foone

wait. if I'm reading Cummean right, you get less penance for masturbating with a friend than on your own. if "boys of twenty years" masturbate together, it's 20/40 days penance. but if a man masturbates alone, it's 100 days. Huh. I wouldn't guess that hanging out together was the way to make your masturbation less sinful.

Those are first offenses, of course. there's like, a scale you go up if you repeat it.

Also, everyone's favorite "used to be huge, now fallen out of the zeitgeist" type of sex makes an appearance: Intercrural sex! (aka thighjobs). Here called "femoral masturbation", a wild term I've not seen before today.

They're mentioned so they can be not as bad as sodomy. a thighjob with your bro is 100 days, then a year each time you do it again.

While sodomy starts at a year, goes up to two, then three, and then "if it becomes a habit" (and sodomy so easily can become a habit), seven years! and "a method of penance shall be added according to the judgment of this priest". Zero idea what that'd be.

foone

they have a rule about what punishment there should be for if someone gives someone else a liquor "in which a mouse or a weasel is found dead". which seems a very specific situation to write down the rules for, but I don't know what it was like in 7th century Ireland. maybe this was a serious problem.

foone

I think you have to do a penance if you have (either a sex dream or a nocturnal emission, I'm not 100% sure), but only if it's "willingly". I'm not really sure what they mean by that but it's another wild idea.

(the penance is singing, obviously)

(well, singing AND bread and water, but BREAD AND WATER! is the standard penance around here)

foone

I was looking at Paenitentiale Umbrense in Latin and tossed it into google translate and got this:

"Likewise, he who commits this manly crime shall repent for four years"

I DON'T THINK ARCHBISHOP THEODORE OF CANTERBURY CIRCA 700 AD CALLED SODOMY A "MANLY CRIME", GOOGLE TRANSLATE!

foone

I scrolled past "in femoribus" too fast and thought it said "in femboys". Gonna start telling people that's what femoribus means in latin; femboy. yeah, if you fucked a femboy in 7th century ireland, the penance was a year of bread and water.

BTW I just LOVE how they said "in femoribus". This is a translation from 1938! They're too shy to explain what "in femoribus" means, because that was a thing back in british/US academia in the day: you didn't translate anything relating to homosexuality, so that only Educated Men could read about it. We can't have just anyone knowing about thighjobs, you see.

foone

"Of a wife who is a harlot, thus the same man explained"

I chimed in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"

foone