Ilya can't go back to visit his mother's grave, but sometimes higher ups from the Treasury Board in Canada do go on diplomatic missions.
David who's assigned to go on a trip to Russia after Hollanov's been outed, because he's been picking up Russian and it would be a good temperature read on the Russian counterparts.
David who visits Irina's grave and spends time cleaning it up, lights a candle and sits until long after it's burned out.
David who tells Irina about Shane as a child, who tells her about all the ways Shane and Ilya fit together, who tells her about the puzzle nights and the cookies and cream ice cream and the blanket they keep specifically for Ilya on their couch.
David who reassures Irina that he helped Ilya with his cuff links on his wedding day, tells her not to worry about her boy.
David who tells Irina that her son is so loved and cherished.
David who plants a little maple tree as a "sign of friendship" in a park across from the cemetery Irina is buried in. He got to pick the place, and he made sure she would be able to see it.
Edit may 3: Hey if you're here from threads :) Love getting jump-scared with my own tumblr post getting screenshotted (this is fine i promise, they credited me properly) but jfc. Right in front of my salad???
We need to think about the first time Ilya ever sees Shane cry. Like he’s seen Shane on the verge of tears, the grit of his teeth and jaw as he holds is tears right in his lash line, not letting them spill over. Shane does it all the time, gets on the edge of tears and pushes his tongue to the roof of his mouth and somehow draws them back in. He never sees Shane cry.
And then idk something finally pushes him over that edge- maybe he gets in a disagreement with his mum over the phone about something or his dad has a heath scare. Maybe that- maybe he had an abnormal result come back and he needs to see a specialist and David had reassured them it was fine he would be fine but Shane’s been googling and spiraling and googling. When he and Ilya finally see each other, after a game, shane letting himself into Ilya Boston house moments after Ilya had gotten him himself- he is quiet and fidgety and not in the way he’s all squirmy hot worked up like when he’s horny it’s like sad quiet worried and Ilya can feel the whirl of Shane’s brain from where he standing. The worry is radiating off him. And Ilya knows this song and dance trying to pick out the issue from Shane’s brain, help him find it because sometimes Shane isn’t too sure what’s bothering him completely.
But the Shane swallows and clears his throat and takes his shoes off carefully, lines them up against the wall and scrubs a hand through his hair and wipes his hands on his sweatpants with a deep breath. And then he looks and Ilya and says hi and then there’s no warning, no tears sitting on his lash line he’s just like crying suddenly his face is wet and his mouth has this horrible downturn and his lips pout and he sucks in a shuddering breath and lets out this sad horrible tiny little whimper.
And Ilya is like oh fuck he’s in shock seeing the tears on Shane’s face and his stomach twists up horrible horrible and he’s suddenly in Shane’s space and then he’s a little nervous to touch because sometimes touch is too much for Shane and so his hands are hovering and the Shane just looks up at him and sniffles and he looks so young and Ilya kinda hopes he never has to see Shane cry again because he’s horrible it’s making him feel sick, chest tight and like someone has put him in a blender and pressed go. And then it’s like Ilya just knows, knows what Shane needs he doesn’t think about it. He wraps his arms around Shane and pulls him tight tight into his chest with a soft
“okie, okie, it’s ok I have you” he guides Shane’s face to his neck and strokes his hand down over the back of head and Shane’s tears are wet in the curve of his neck and Ilya feels like some horrible animal thing in his chest, like when he was a teenager and someone said something horrible to him about his mum passing. This horrible animal sharp edged thing that screams to protect. He’d do anything to keep Shane safe with his own two hands, he wants to tuck shane under his body and sit over him like a guard dog, growling at anything that might make him sad. His lovely boy.
But the big dog in Ilya’s chest can bite and tear away at this thing that’s scaring Shane, hurting him, there is no fixing it, no bashing its face in, that’s harder. Ilya feels all buzzy with energy and he thinks about how his mama used to help him when he’d get upset as a kid, when he’d be scared after a nightmare or from his dad. How she’d twist and play with his curls, tell Ilya stories- fantastical things. How she’d hold her hand on her his chest and say “Ilya Ilya Ilya, you’re here with me. I have you”. He thinks about sveta would tell him nothing else matters Ilya you and me we’ve got this I’m always on your team, how she’d find ridiculous things to make him laugh, show him how light life can be. he thinks about Shane who brushes away his tears and keeps him tucked close and makes sure he knows Shane sees him, that it’s ok to show him, Shane who makes him feel so safe, like there’s a shore to his sea of blue, somewhere to moor.
So Ilya mirrors back the love he’s been taught. He keeps Shane close and he holds him tight and he traces the shapes of Shane’s ears with his fingertips and brushed Shane’s tears away with his mouth, the pad of thumb, hot against his cheeks. He tells Shane it’s ok, that he’s not going anywhere, he’s right here, and that he will be through all of it, no matter what happens, no matter the outcome he and Shane will face it together. When his face is finally dry, Ilya bites at Shane’s cheek gently, asks if he will come shower with him and Shane nods and gives Ilya a small little smile, laughs when Ilya cheers and picks Shane up, walking them to the bathroom together. He calls him “my sprinkler” in Russian and then asks Shane what he thought about the game and then Shane is speaking soft and low about the plays, his performance and Ilya’s and Ilya watches his shoulders drop. They’ll talk about David after the shower, about the results and tests and Shane specific worries- but for now, for now this is enough. Ilya will do anything to keep those horrible little tears away from his Shane
I'm thinking about that first night at the cottage, after the fire and the loons and "she was so funny and beautiful" and how they'd finally put the fire out and go back inside, both of them a bit quiet and feeling bruised and clingy, Ilya following Shane around while he does his nightly tasks around the cottage. Gradually they'd shift out of that quiet space into another round of sex, a bit slower and quieter maybe than they've been all day, and after, when Shane ducks into the bathroom to clean up and brush his teeth, Ilya sees to the bed. They've already changed the sheets twice today but luckily they can get away with not changing them again now, Ilya thinks, so he just straightens everything out and sorts out untucked corners and the like, hands moving on autopilot while his mind grapples with everything that's happened today. He doesn't quite notice, therefore, that he's just doing everything he'd normally do after he and Shane have fucked and Shane has left to go back to his team or his apartment or whatever.
And then, suddenly, Shane's voice behind him: "Um, Ilya? What are you doing?" and Ilya realises he's swapping their pillows, like he always does when he's sleeping in a bed that Shane has vacated. Reaching for the pillow that Shane was using, however briefly, bringing it briefly up to his face for a quick sniff of the residual smell of Shane's hair, that distinctive coconutty citrussy shampoo, before dropping it onto his preferred side of the bed so he can tuck his face into it and hold on to the little leftover pieces of Shane for a bit longer.
He twists around to face Shane, bashful and a bit shamefaced, and finds a look of complete and utter understanding. Like maybe Shane, too, is used to scavenging, to rooting for the crumbs of Ilya he's allowed to hold on to.
But tonight they don't need to. For the next two glorious weeks, they don't need to. They can gorge themselves on each other, feast off each other's bodies like kings, find out just how far the limits of their hunger go.
The sting of relief, of gratitude, is almost too much to bear. Too much to bear alone, so Ilya opens his arms, reaches, asks, like he never would have dared to before, and Shane makes a strangled sound and barrels into him, bearing down with all his body weight to press Ilya into warm wrinkled sheets that still smell like them both.
the artemis ii mission reminds me why i love humanity so much. they play pink pony club for the astronauts. they have issues with microsoft outlook. one of the astronauts named a moon crater after his late wife. a jar of nutella just flew by. they make 67 memes because they’re big nerds with huge hearts who say that we look beautiful from there. they call dibs on sleeping arrangements and the mission specialist likes sleeping like a bat. the pilot’s daughter shows her dad off on her social media.
dunno just sometimes helps to think that we can do things like that.
thinking about Jack being very physically affectionate with Robby because hey they've been friends for decades and it's not weird at all. they call each other 'brother' all the time, might as well hug, right? except Jack goes further like kissing Robby's cheek as a greeting, getting his hand under his shirt to rub his back mindlessly while he explains something, messing with Robby's fingers when he's deep in thought and the man is near him. all public, at work and in restaurants and everywhere.
Robby doesn't think much of it because well that's his closest friend ever, Jack can do whatever he wants to him and he won't bat an eye !! and if Jack wants to have his hands under his hoodie when they watch movies it's fine by him.
Hi I saw your master list of fic recs and I wondered if you had a list of all the viral fics? Supervoid is my absolute favourite Byler fic and everyone knows you stole my heart (i was sleeping) but I know a lot of fics went viral this year so I would love a list of all the new viral fics and old fandom classics. Thank you!
yeah sure! i'll make a viral byler fics list for everyone! if you're a new byler, these are probably the best fics to start out with:
the power outage fic
the dirty talk fic
we all have a hunger fic - mike and will with fake blood
THE will cheating on carlton fic
the towel incident
touch like velvet
the tobias fic
brand me with your hands
the eye fic (tw extreme graphic violence)
supervoid
cottonmouth
super soaker
sweetbunny22 (camboy will fic)
spit swear (a famous ryers fic aka richie x will, but byler is endgame)
I keep thinking about what could have happened, if Ilya had managed to convince himself that Shane was just high when he asked him to come to the cottage. This boy has never felt wanted anywhere. Sure, Shane has been the sweetest thing ever recently, there for him in every way he could have been. But normally, when something feels too good to be true, it is, right?
So he packs up his things as normal. He takes the annoying series of flights back to Moscow, making sure to bring the things for his niece. He finds somewhere to stay for a few nights, now his brother has his apartment. The usual heaviness he feels whenever he's here settles in his chest, and he greets it like an old friend. Resigning himself to feeling off for the next few months.
But it's so much harder this time. And within two days, he's done everything he wanted to do. He's seen his niece, made sure that everything is sorted for her future, and given her the gifts. He's seen his mama. Made sure the flowers are her favourite. Told her about the last few months. And suddenly, he realises there are almost 2 months stretching out in front of him with... absolutely nothing to fill them with.
So he gets a bit drunk. It's not a good idea, but coming here wasn't either, so. It'll do. And at least the vodka is nice. Before he knows it, he's scrolling through his messages with Shane. Trying to come up with something to say. He doesn't even know what time it is back in Ottawa.
Eventually, he settles on a simple 'Hope you have a fun summer', and tries to ignore the way his heart jumps when Shane replies almost immediately.
'You too', Shane writes. 'How's Russia?'
'Not great. Nothing exciting,' he types back. He thinks about typing 'but it's home', but that's never felt so wrong.
The three dots appear and disappear a few times, and Ilya doesn't know what Shane's going to say, but he just needs him to say something. Needs to keep this conversation going so he's not so alone. Needs a physical reminder that someone, somewhere, actually wants to spend some kind of time with him.
'It's not too late to have an exciting summer here' comes Shane's reply.
For a moment, all Ilya can do is stare at the message, everything falling silent around him. And then his heart is thumping in his chest. Suddenly, the idea of being here for even one more minute is suffocating.
His phone keeps buzzing.
'Sorry'
'I know that's not what you want'
'I shouldn't have sent that, ignore me'
But he's already moving. Throwing everything he cares about back in the suitcase he'd barely unpacked, and booking the next flight to Ottawa. By the time he's at the airport, he's booked himself a rental car to get him to Shane's cottage.
The journey passes in a blur. All his head says is Shane, Shane, Shane, and it's not until he's crunching down a secluded drive that he fully realises what he's doing.
Putting the car in park, he sits, letting the engine idle as he stares at the cottage in front of him. Trying to work up the courage to knock. To see the look on Shane's face. To see if his dreams match up with reality.
Before he can, though, the door opens, and Shane steps out, squinting a little at the car. In that moment, everything else falls away. All the anxiety, the rumble of the car, the exhaustion and excitement. It all narrows down to Shane.
He sees the moment that Shane recognises him. For the briefest second, there's a crinkle of confusion on his face that Ilya's brain tells him is disapproval, and his heart drops. But then Shane's grinning, striding towards him, and looking ready to engulf him in a hug.
He all but runs to him, feeling his own grin split his face in two. Feeling tears gather in his eyes.
Door of the car still wide open, keys still in the ignition, he's swept into Shane's arms and clings on for dear life.
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
jbbartram-illu
vaporwave
areudirty
theartofmadeline
pixelskylines
janainaart
