I Don't Even Know Anymore

[animusrox]

Justice League Unlimited S2E07 “Clash”

[catchymemes]

Cody was fired for sharing a meme, on his day off. Then the bosses son messaged him after it went viral

[sword-and-nightingale]

Take👏this👏bitch👏to👏court👏for👏harassment👏

[robin-in-a-hoodie]

His????? His kid died????????? And he said THAT????????????????? can i burn this entire fucking company down along with all of fucking capitalism?

[advanced-procrastination]

WHERES👏THE👏COMPANY’S👏CONTACT👏INFO👏

[commandtower-solring-go]

Please??

[theicysneasel]

Oooooo, prettyyyy…

[witchywolfie]

Reblogging this version for the info bc lmao FUCK that guy

[everythingfox]

When you’re in a boss fight with a huge enemy

[michellepsychologist]

Keanu Reeves appreciation post ♥️

[dancing-coyote]

I love this man. He’s a wonderful example of a decent, moral wealthy person.

[ironbite4]

…….WHY DOES HE DO THIS!?  MY GOD THIS MAN IS JUST FUCKING PERFECT!

[lkeke35]

I remember in one interview he said he had more money than he could ever spend in a single lifetime, so he just gives the money away. Outside of random strangers, he also gives most of it to various charities, and only grants himself a small stipend to live on, pay rent, buy food, etc.

[crystallinemuun]

Socialist king

[lunariagold-deactivated20230802]

At this point I’m believing that Keanu Reeves is some sort of bodhisattva

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

[just-shower-thoughts]

It was kind of a dick move to create animals that require air, then confine them to the freaking ocean

[water-based-introspection]

If you are talking about dolphins they used to be wolf like creatures that due to scarcity of food they had to hunt in water so they slowly evolved into water mammals, dolphins still have claw bones but they are unnecessary and dolphins will get rid of them with time and will develop abilities to breath under water

(This also partially applies to whales)

[actuallyjuststealingmemes]

They were what now?

[oppa-homeless-style]

[island-delver-go]

[thedevilsofficialblog]

Mother Nature, come out here I just want to talk

[althunyan-deactivated20210418]

3% human 97% stress

[gyamburu]

the rubber chicken vacuum cleaner

[thehotgirlproject]

This video is incredible please watch it I highly recommend it

[medic--crow-deactivated20190811]

THE EDITING IS SO GOOD

THE MUSIC CHOICES TOP NOTCH

THE SOUND

[seanstrikes]

THE VACUUM STILL WORKS WITH THE CHICKENS ON IT, THAT’S THE KILLER

[priscillabaker]

I’d like to highlight:

[giantchasm]

[everydayanth]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5HloVPndQ

Worth it. 

[hailenj]

[painfog]

hdjdjsjkk my mum works in retail and one of her coworkers is autistic & mostly doesnt talk unless he has to but yesterday he went out of his way to cross through the crowds of xmas shoppers and dodge a train of trolleys to go up to my mum, gesture to the crowds and say “michelle. i am losing the will to live”

[galaxy-foxx98-deactivated202401]

Big ass mood

[leonardslee]

[c0ffeekitten]

A loaf a day makes everything okay

[ampervadasz]

Potyakaja

[corgisandboobs]

The lorgest boi.

[alternativeblkgal]

SON WHAT THE FUCK

[thatidomagirl]

^^^^

[lickmetilllicecreammmm]

This is a literal sea lion

[dankmemeuniversity]

[ludaprilgate]

[otherwindow]

my favourite trope is “antagonist and protagonist narrowly avoiding each other in the same space” and The Emperor’s New Groove nails it perfectly I wish more media did stuff like this

[ixar-of-the-bargains]

Emperor’s New Groove was ahead of its time for a multitude of reasons lmao

[catchymemes]

[lovedripdrop]

Wild

[radiant-moonchild-deactivated20]

The amount of chaotic energy in this post is astounding

[above-average-gravy-deactivated]

Subways are like gateways to an alternate universe and absolutely nothing makes sense