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@necromancerb
I hate fighting Gen Z adventurers. Nothing is serious to them anymore. I’ll say some cool one liner like “oh how I love to hear you heroes whimper” and the paladin blushes and says “I can do more if you tell me to daddy~” which interrupts my mental fortitude and stops the fireball I was preparing. Like what the fuck
found a gnome and took his hat off and he just had a smaller hat underneath??
Hmm, continue taking the hats off. Gnomes are deplorable little creatures and have done nothing to deserve such excellent craftsmanship like multiple hats.
homunculus facts¡
how is a homunculus like a writing desk¿
? both are leaned on whěn maester is drawing¿
Ah crap, that wasn’t my ergonomic gel pad? My bad.
truly you treat my cousin poorly' you monstrous man•
And I’m supposed to believe that Ratazom treats you better?
( ´◡﹏◡`)
Sore subject. I’m sorry. If it helps, I’ll draw a comic of Ratazom as a stinky monster.
any minute now' wizard boy•
THAT'S NOT A MONSTER!!!
Yes it is, you can tell because it has YOUR FACE!
Guys guys why are we fighting? Just get some calming amulets and everything is all good in the end. Well maybe don’t write on your homunculus Gav that’s something an amulet can’t help. And Taz isn’t a stinky monster, we may have our differences but a fellow necromancer is a fellow necromancer after all
They don’t tell you this but the strongest Necromancer’s have a degree in biomancy. Bones are organic at the end of the day and using necromancy to manipulate them can get you far, but only to a point.
I haven’t gone to my evil classes for like the entirety of February. I’ve probably failed all of them but I’m too scared to check because this is supposed to be my last semester. My family will be disappointed in me and I’ll get chewed out like always. I can’t muster the energy to get out of bed aside from DoorDash and food and water. I do nothing but watch necromancer YouTube all day and ignore my homework. I hate that I know exactly what’s going wrong and I’m actively choosing to not fix it. I hate my absolute lack of control.
My Orcs are rebelling
Would you still feel threatened by my evil plans if I was a worm?
Mages live in towers and witches live in secluded cabins because their residences have a tendency to explode.
Mad scientists don't care if they accidentally blow somebody up. They have secret lairs to avoid ethics committees.
Most necromancers settle for a cave, but we do have the occasional Inverse Tower! Alas, the majority of invading adventurers mistake it for just some Dungeon, so the first few decades of owning one is really demoralizing until you get used to it.
We don’t usually blow stuff up, but inverse towers usually allow pretty up close and powerful connections to the latent underground magic. A friend of mine once found some fossils and now has a mammoth in her army. Real potent stuff
no one even gives a fuck about me or my glowing crystal
Da
Amlt
Yteww
Miura sdgg
Hhhhheeeeeeheheheeheheheeheeheheeheheheheheheheheheeeeehehehehe
Amulet
Hehheheheheheeheheheheheheheheehehehehehehe
This amulet looks sooooo nice rn. Gods I’ve been needing a new amulet. Havent gone shopping for trinkets for forever. Shame it’s not cursed, but honestly I don’t think it even needs a curse. Like, I’ve just been feeling so mellowed out lately ever since I got this amulet. Why ruin a good thing y’know?
I decided to give all my skeleton army a raise. They’ll now get a full gallon each per week of my special calcium nourishment mixture! Idky but I just feel great rn and I want my army to feel great too. Don’t know why I haven’t done this sooner
Man I feel AMAZING rn. No clue why tho
What the fuck so they mean
They want me to add to the list of ghosts?!
Don’t worry, my good Wizard, if you ever get added I can assure you I will take good care of your mortal form until you return. Especially the bones. Maybe only the bones. Okay I’ll just be taking your bones BUT! I can assure you they’ll receive the BEST care
Awww... But I've already sworn to use his bones to enrich the soil for my prize-winning roses!!!
You’re using bones….for fertilizer…..
You were going to use a
WIZARDS BONES
For some Vecna-Be-Damned flowers
…
…
Ratazom. Ratazom, Ratazom, Ratazom. Can I call you Rat for short? Listen, Uh, Rat, I do not feel anger towards you. It would be foolish. Why get mad over something that’s never going to happen right?
But I have sent a squadron of Bone Armor Skeladins(skeleton Paladins) your way. They’re using the magical essence left by your reblog here to track you, and they will arrive within *checks watch* 17 hours.
I’m sure that will be enough bones for you ☺️
I have literally been recycling would-be heroes to mass produce this for years.
And you may not call me Rat. If you need a monosyllable, I go by Taz. And @jimkinnz ate your skeladins.
and they were not up to your usual high standards• low in calcium and collagen• for shame•
NOT UP TO STANDARD?!?!?!?
Putting aside the fact that you ate the ENTIRE SQUADRON, I will have you know that only the finest of skeletons work for me. I do not know where your tastebuds were trained. If at all! But they had plenty of Calcium and Collagen.
Very well. I see how it is. You and @ratazom CLEARLY hold no proper respect with magically infused bones. Rest be assured I will be bringing up both of your names at the next Necromancer’s Annual Semi-Calamitous Advancement Regionals. Good luck finding business with any prrroper prrractitioner of the field for the next 100 or so years!!!!
I am literally a necromancer.
Hmph! A Druid more like with that bone mismanagement! Honestly, roses? I’ll need to see them to believe if they can truly be worthy of wasting away magic calcium, and even then I will have a hard time believing it!
Tell you what. If you stop besmirching my product, I'll give you a genuine, non-cursed magical amulet for free.
Non-cursed? Hmm, I suppose I could add my own. No, I can’t accept it without giving due recompense. If you consider your monstrosity of a use of bones as product, you must ask for more as a business owner in general. For your sake, I won’t haggle.
I compared you to a Druid, but I do in fact have a couple femurs of druids from my more adventurous younger years. I will accept your magical amulet if you take these bones and use them in your strange, un-necromancly way of bonemeal, and forward me the results on whatever plant life you deem fit. I highly doubt anything will come of it that I will actually use in my proper way of necromancy, but at least it satisfies my urge of an equal deal.
Here, just hold the amulet for a second. I'm sure if you have it in hand, you'll see things my way.
lol, not how non cursed amulets work dummy. look at this thing, the gem is cut roughly and it’s barely staying in the necklace! It’s so….so………..
Hmm…….
It is purple…..I like purple……
Mmmmmm……..hm? Oh Taz, you’re still here? Yeah, yeah, I’ll send those bones right over…idky but I just feel like i don’t have any real gripes with you rn. Strange….ah well……
What the fuck so they mean
They want me to add to the list of ghosts?!
Don’t worry, my good Wizard, if you ever get added I can assure you I will take good care of your mortal form until you return. Especially the bones. Maybe only the bones. Okay I’ll just be taking your bones BUT! I can assure you they’ll receive the BEST care
Awww... But I've already sworn to use his bones to enrich the soil for my prize-winning roses!!!
You’re using bones….for fertilizer…..
You were going to use a
WIZARDS BONES
For some Vecna-Be-Damned flowers
…
…
Ratazom. Ratazom, Ratazom, Ratazom. Can I call you Rat for short? Listen, Uh, Rat, I do not feel anger towards you. It would be foolish. Why get mad over something that’s never going to happen right?
But I have sent a squadron of Bone Armor Skeladins(skeleton Paladins) your way. They’re using the magical essence left by your reblog here to track you, and they will arrive within *checks watch* 17 hours.
I’m sure that will be enough bones for you ☺️
I have literally been recycling would-be heroes to mass produce this for years.
And you may not call me Rat. If you need a monosyllable, I go by Taz. And @jimkinnz ate your skeladins.
and they were not up to your usual high standards• low in calcium and collagen• for shame•
NOT UP TO STANDARD?!?!?!?
Putting aside the fact that you ate the ENTIRE SQUADRON, I will have you know that only the finest of skeletons work for me. I do not know where your tastebuds were trained. If at all! But they had plenty of Calcium and Collagen.
Very well. I see how it is. You and @ratazom CLEARLY hold no proper respect with magically infused bones. Rest be assured I will be bringing up both of your names at the next Necromancer’s Annual Semi-Calamitous Advancement Regionals. Good luck finding business with any prrroper prrractitioner of the field for the next 100 or so years!!!!
I am literally a necromancer.
Hmph! A Druid more like with that bone mismanagement! Honestly, roses? I’ll need to see them to believe if they can truly be worthy of wasting away magic calcium, and even then I will have a hard time believing it!
Tell you what. If you stop besmirching my product, I'll give you a genuine, non-cursed magical amulet for free.
Non-cursed? Hmm, I suppose I could add my own. No, I can’t accept it without giving due recompense. If you consider your monstrosity of a use of bones as product, you must ask for more as a business owner in general. For your sake, I won’t haggle.
I compared you to a Druid, but I do in fact have a couple femurs of druids from my more adventurous younger years. I will accept your magical amulet if you take these bones and use them in your strange, un-necromancly way of bonemeal, and forward me the results on whatever plant life you deem fit. I highly doubt anything will come of it that I will actually use in my proper way of necromancy, but at least it satisfies my urge of an equal deal.
