a little bit of evil, as a treat

i am going to beat you to death

[blurds]

this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks

[luxshine]

The “Thunk” will always kill me.

[falconratesbirds]

14/10 doing his best

[littleguysdaily]

[astronaut-offical]

The lil guy just kinda… stopped working properly for a moment there…

[phantomrose96]

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

[desolationlesbian]

met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

[desolationlesbian]

the worst part is I can't dare ask her that last question because then she might say something like "You don't remember, do you?" and pull out a katana and obviously I'm not stupid enough to take that risk

[darkspaceboytoy]

The thing you have to remember when you’re arguing with me is that I’m almost always eating delicious meals. So not only are you arguing with a beautiful woman, she’s eating scrumptious food while you aren’t. Bad position.

[theonion]

Expressing regret that the interruption would delay the highly anticipated video game adaptation, the producers of A24’s upcoming Elden Ring film announced Tuesday that the project had stalled after a red phantom named TwinkPunisher invaded the set. “Despite our security team’s best efforts, a loincloth-wearing invader with the handle TwinkPunisher was able to gain access to the shoot through the use of a Festering Bloody Finger, disrupting production for the foreseeable future,” said a spokesperson for the studio, adding that TwinkPunisher had tauntingly placed a Rainbow Stone on the ground for every take he managed to render unusable by performing the “warm welcome” gesture, by obscuring the actors with the Ekzykes’s Decay incantation, or by repeatedly spamming the “You’re beautiful” Prattling Pate over dialogue.

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[valdotpng]

happy birthday bubbo!!!!!!!!! i still love u to death!!!!!!!!

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[prince4knights]

two meads in and i'm asking my knight if i can feel how sharp his blade is 🤦‍♂️ i'm giggling and kicking my feet too. should i ask him to press it against my neck or is that too forward

[dogpuppy]

[idonutlose]

hi

[loveridden1999]

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

[dogpuppy]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[amygdalae]

[coughloop]

My boss is making me work even though theres discord channels to read like morning paper?

[mycoins]

i will come kill him with my demon blade

[coughloop]

Sometimes I worry you like the demon blade more than you like me

[thepoisonroom]

well maybe i'm the slur cw america

[innerchildabortionclinic]

good morning everyone it's time to be tortured to insanity and then of course tortured for being insane