When the Muse hits

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 70 (masterpost here)

Jason: hold on, it's on my phone, let me pull it up.

Tim, audibly delighted: i can't believe you do this-!

Bruce: Robin, don't get distracted, i need you on my six.

Damian: *already distracted, somewhat forlorn* i wish you were an owl...

Bruce: that's not- *pause* what?

Damian: they don't need people on their sixes. they can turn their heads and just look.

*silence*

*distant crashing and gunshots*

Bruce: shit- focus, Robin!

Jason: i got it, it's still here.

Tim: please god read it out,

Bruce: *amidst grunting* you two aren't helping.

Jason, dismissively: then switch to a different line? everybody knows line seven is Red Hood's territory; go back to line one.

Dick: who needs to go back to line one?

Tim: ...Dick you've been here for thirty minutes, how are you not hearing us.

Dick: sorry- you know that thing where you disassociate and drive, and then you snap back to yourself as you pull up the driveway and you have that moment of 'how the fuck am i still alive?'? i think i did that with swinging.

Jason, grunting casually: oh yeah, i get that sometimes.

Dick, mystified: how the fuck did i get to Bristol...? sorry, anyway- what are we on?

Tim: Jason's grudge list.

Dick: Jason's what now?

Jason: i have a list on my phone of the worst things everybody has done to me, so i can keep track of how much revenge i need to get to 'win'.

Damian: ...win what?

Jason: shut up. aren't you fighting?

Damian: it's not that complicated a fight.

*distant gunshot*

Damian, casually, after a beat: Father?

*sounds of punching, hitting*

Bruce: yes?

Damian: how good of a mood would you say you're in?

Bruce: ...why?

Tim: i'm calling it now he got shot- you got shot, didn't you?

*silence*

Damian: tis' but a flesh wound-,

Bruce, resigned: oh my god- Robin.

Damian: you didn't watch my six.

Tim: *laughs*

Damian: it didn't even hit anywhere important,

Bruce: i don't care- just go to the batmobile and get the first aid kit, i'll be there after i finish getting the evidence i needed.

Damian: *groans*

Dick: are you guys done? because i wanna know what's on Jason's list for me.

Tim: yeah i'm- i'm also very invested in this. actually- is Damian on there?

Jason: uhhhh- yeah, by the bottom. i don't update this that much, to be fair.

Damian: what's written for me?

Jason: it just says 'looks too much like Bruce'.

Tim: *instant snickers*

Dick: wait wait- what's on there for Bruce then?

Jason: Bruce's- *laughs* ok, Bruce's has stayed the same since before i went to Ethiopia, and it's still the most evil thing he's ever done to me.

Bruce: *confused grunt*

Jason: according to the list, the meanest shit Bruce has ever done to me was when I was thirteen years old and he took me to an evening afterparty for this opera event, and i was bored as fuck with all the other rich-people kids and i wanted to go home, so to discreetly get B's attention, i texted him-,

Bruce: oh- *snort* ok i remember this.

Dick: what happened?

Jason, indignant: i texted him asking if we could go home, and this piece of shit proceeds to look at the text in the middle of this circle of people he's talking to, read the text from me OUT LOUD TO THEM, and then he looked at me across the room and yelled out 'what's wrong, chum? who don't you like, why do you wanna leave so early?'

Tim: *long noise of sympathy*

Dick: *cackling* THAT'S SO BAD????

Bruce: *another snort*

Jason: shut up Bruce. -and you wonder why we hated you; honestly.

Bruce: you were- *struggling to tamp down his amusement* you were being a handful, and that was the quickest way i could think of to make you want to be quiet.

Dick: *more cackles*

Jason: worst moment of my life to date, and i've literally been murdered.

Bruce, slightly amused: oh come now, chum, that's dramamtic.

Jason: IT'S NOT THOUGH??? IT'S PUBLIC HUMILIATION!

Tim: *wheeze*

Damian: *hiss of pain* oh- woooaaahhhhhh,

Dick, still snickering: -uh, Dami?

Damian: hm? oh, sorry, no, carry on, don't mind me- *under his breath* huh, that's cool.

Bruce, slightly concerned: Robin, where are you? i thought i told you to wait in the car.

Damian: i am in the car.

Bruce: then what are you doing?

Damian: taking out the bullet i got shot with.

Tim: ...the hell is 'cool' about that?

Damian: there's a second one already in there that i didn't know about.

*a beat*

Dick, baffled: what?

Bruce, stern: Robin what's your status, are you ok?

Jason: when the fuck did you even last get shot?

Damian: i dunno, that's why it's cool. i guess i forgot about it?

Tim: dude- what the fuck even is your life.

Damian: yeah i don't- oh, i think the second one was blocking a vein- shit, there's blood on the seats,

Dick: oh my god BRUCE GO TO YOUR KID-

Bruce: I'M GOING-

Tim, mumbling: like father like son,

Jason, instantly: -shut it or i put you on the list.

[alkallier]

THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE WHO PLAYED!!!! i probably should have made something more festive, but uhhhhh…. Yes. Ill figure something out out in a bit—

[robs-your-robins]

I saw a post about somebody wanting Jason and Cass to be narrative foils to each other. Cass adheres to the No Kill Policy, she holds fast to it and Jason has broken it more than a few times and yeah I agree, it would be interesting to see them butt heads but since I'm me, I want to make it funny.

Jason: I get why the rule is important to you. I respect it but come on, there has to be some people that you consider killing.

Cass: No.

Jason: People who say shit like "as a" something or other to butt in on people's arguments?

Cass: No.

Jason: People who snap their fingers at wait staff.

Cass: It's rude but no, not even then.

Jason: Dick when he leaves the toilet seat up.

Cass:

Cass: No.

Jason: Now I know you're lying. Your bitch ass folded like sheet last night. I heard you screaming from the fucking Cave. And you want to tell me that I'm wrong?

Cass, with a shit eating grin: No. Killing is wrong.

Jason: Fuck you.

[biohammer]

Tags via @robs-your-robins

[jack-elly]

DPxDC idea #3

The DC universe has its own Danny Fenton.

The problem?

He's dead.

Dead.

The portal accident killed him years ago. The Fentons buried their son, mourned him, and somehow managed to move on.

Then a dimensional breach brings Danny Phantom from another universe into the DC Universe.

At first, nobody notices anything strange. The Justice League just sees another teenage meta helping during crises. But eventually reporters get clear footage. Facial recognition software finds a match.

Danny Fenton.

Deceased.

The boy buried years ago.

Now Maddie, Jack, and Jazz are forced to watch news reports of their dead son flying alongside heroes, So they chase him wanting answers.

And Danny is stuck trying to explain something impossible:

"No, I'm not your Danny."

The worst part?

Nobody believes him.

Because how do you tell grieving parents that their son really is dead... and you're just an alternate-universe version who happened to survive?

[ughtyrell]

Danny tries to use logic he knows his own parents have said before against this set when they won't believe he's not their Danny. He tries to tell them that he's just a ghost who looks like their son, he's like an after image of their son.

Of course then they set him up to catch him off guard to do things or say things only their son Danny would say and know. So it back fires on him. They believe Danny is ashamed of being a ghost because of them or scared to be their son around them because of how much time they spent around him with the goal of ghost hunting.

[noodlesstarghost]

Danny always ends up in the worst possible situation

[alkallier]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH FOLKS!!!

[akemi2003]

Fic prompt #84

Dpxdc

Do you all remember that prompt where Danny gets mistaken for a vampire and decides to play along?

When you think about it, ghosts and vampires actually have quite a few things in common. Not culturally, obviously, but in terms of powers and the whole “technically undead” situation. Which naturally made me think about our favorite wannabe vampire: Vlad.

So what if vampires aren’t actually a real species?

What if the entire concept of vampires exists because Vlad once tried to take over the world by traveling back in time? Danny managed to stop him before he could achieve his goal, but he couldn’t undo all the consequences of Vlad’s actions.

Imagine Vlad showing up centuries in the past with ghost powers, flight, super strength, mind control, ectoplasm, glowing eyes, an obsession with dramatic capes, and a tendency to bite people when he’s feeling particularly unhinged. The locals see this and go, “Ah yes, clearly this is a vampire.”

Danny eventually fixes the timeline enough to stop Vlad’s scheme, but he can’t erase the stories. The legends spread. People keep adding details over the centuries until an entire vampire mythology exists.

Fast forward to the present.

Danny gets mistaken for a vampire.

At first he tries to correct people, but then someone mentions that Batman has a file on “possible metahuman vampire activity” and suddenly it becomes way too funny to stop.

So Danny commits.

He hisses at Green Lanterns. Refuses to enter buildings unless invited. Casually appears upside down on ceilings during League meetings. When someone asks how old he is, he gives answers like, “Which century?”

[frownyalfred]

Fic idea: Batman is getting a formal reprimand from the Justice League for something ridiculous and every single active duty Bat (and some non active duty) show up to the Watchtower for the “hearing” the League insists on having.

(imagine them running through the “incident” and someone coughs bullshit every time Clark speaks, Alfred is so obviously perched defensively near Bruce and furious, Red Hood somehow showed up? Dick is in full gaslight gatekeep girlboss mode even though Bruce wishes he Would Not, Damian is stuck in the elevator trying to get Batcow up to “witness this miscarriage of justice” and Cass keeps flashing increasingly concerning hand signs at Bruce up on the “stand” and every time someone mentions the complainant - Booster Gold - Tim says “who?” just loud enough for the entire room to hear)

(the “hearing” is over just as Damian gets Batcow in and magically Batman never receives his reprimand. because his kids are Awful. not Alfred though. never Alfred)

[elirium]

2026 Tiny Robin Update

[tha-star]

Jon: I think it got to the point where I had to introduce Damian as my boyfriend to my friends.

Kon: Oh, why do you think that? You told me that you two had decided to tell them little by little.

Jon: Well... judging by the gifts he's been giving me, like delivering flowers to my work at least every week, new clothes, fancy watches, trying to give me a new cell phone after seeing the cracked screen protector on mine... My friends are convinced I'm dating an old man and he's my sugar daddy!

Kon: Oh! It's a really complicated situation, but... that would only solve one of those problems, Jon.

Jon: What do you mean?

*Kon answers a call*

Bart: Hey, Tim's boy toy—

*Kon hangs up*

Jon: ...

Kon: ...

Jon: ...

Kon: At least they'll know you're not dating an old man.

[ghostie-ghosty]

Checking in

[ula-f]

the world's foulest

[er-laurel]

I know "Clockwork is the ghost of Kronos" is a popular DC/Danny Phantom crossover connection, but I would like to suggest the flip possibility as more likely: Kronos stole a piece of Clockwork's power, and Clockwork will get very annoyed and huffy and indignant if you say anything to suggest that in life he used to be Kronos, although he does claim the guy's family because "they deserve a decent father/grandfather watching over them"

[wobbegong800]

Scenes in chapters 1-4 of Liketolaugh’s More Like Home. I tend to imagine fanfics differently depending on the style, and this fic is very grounded and well-thought out so I imagine it in the more realistic style of the Batman/Justice League animated series.

[nyukaart]

Dawg who are the other three next to Teds Blue Beetle

[namura018]

🚦 Traffic lights

[pocket-luv101]

Kon: I won.

Tim: I have you pinned to the ground.

Kon: And I repeat, winning.