I've been actively trying to block bots that are only here to steal fic posts, so if anyone I've blocked is not an actual bot (and is somehow seeing this), then I apologize for blocking you. Still, you seemed to have nothing on your blog; you will be thought of as a bot and blocked.
Several things automatically make you look like a bot that are easily rectified if you are an actual person with a Tumblr, i.e, using your Tumblr as an actual blog, and not here to farm content for other platforms.
spent forty-five minutes today helping an 87yo woman who does not own a computer or a cell phone try to set up an email account so that she could then set up a second account in order to access benefits. went with protonmail, because they don't require 2fa, but it turns out that while you can still make a protonmail account without authentication you can no longer use it to create OTHER accounts without it, and the benefits page she needed to get to required both an email and a cell phone to create an account anyway. asked if she wanted to try going in person to see if someone there could help her, and she said that she had, and they'd directed her to the website. she tried signing up with her landline, but of course that didn't work because you can't do SMS authentication that way. finally ended up writing up detailed instructions for how to log in and authenticate her account so she can drive to her severely disabled daughter's house forty minutes away because that's the only person she knows and trusts who has both a cell phone and a computer.
anyway i fucking hate mandatory 2fa and i think the people responsible for it should have to spend a year navigating their lives with no cell phone and no internet access beyond the public library pcs. fuck.
@ brainsoupp_ on twitter// @stmichaelthearchangel// @ cybermrcury on twitter// @throughmy-eyez // @ shellerina on twitter// @caesarsaladinn// @ nelsoncj4 on twitter // @ heimberg_a on twitter// make your own kind of music by cass elliot// @ soledadfrancis on twitter// ? // @ sourcenectar on twitter// @superorganism
Pariah Dark, Ghost King, warrior, tyrant, world-breaker, Ancient of Darkness, is utterly gobsmacked. The sarcophagus had been opened- something he wasn’t honestly expecting seeing as it was supposed to be for eternity- and he had honestly just been blinking awake. It took a minute or few to properly wake up, but who could blame him? It wasn’t like there was anyone before him who could have opened his prison.
Though that wasn’t what had him utterly befuddled. He was rather certain that he had not gotten locked into the Sarcophagus of Sleep with several literal ghost infants.
Well mostly infants, one is more like the equivalent of a three or four year old but still. And he has a rather panicked sort of feeling breaking through his usual bloodlust, because they all look really similar to his not-exactly ex. Same white hair, same wispy ghost-tail, same tiny fangs and claws currently being bared at him and each other.
But they also kind of look like him, what with two having hair aflame- one even had black hair like he once did before his insanity- and even having red eyes. Most even had his own corpse-pale skin, though he could see a more blue tint on a couple and one more similar to his brother’s.
So yes, Pariah Dark is very much panicking and trying to do the math in his head. A visit to Clockwork might be in his best interest…
Reminds me of the earlier conversation we had about ghost mpreg Bruce and later Vlad.
Now I'm just laughing at the idea of Pariah either fretting over Clockwork because EIGHT CORES ARE YOU INSANE? Or wondering if that's why he himself was so tired when his sarcophagus finally opened up.
Which, neither is true but it's hilarious.
Also, if you throw in my DP x DC with Martha as Gotham, Thomas as Pariah, and Alfred as Clockwork, it gets even funnier because I feel like Pariah would either not know that Gotham is Martha when he first wakes, or forgot that fact, or just never thought about it because anyone in the realms can carry a matching kid core, or even that he did think about it but "obviously all those curses wouldn't be good for babies but you (Clock) should have been more careful this is too many kids at once!"
I dunno, it's midnight and my heart has been trying to murder me all day and night so I'm probably rambling at this point. But... enjoy the rambles I guess?
Wait wait wait @f4nd0m-fun Are you saying Alfred was pregnant with EIGHT babies? And not talking about batfam's rEACTIONS???
Just
A normal day at Wayne's manor. It's Sunday so you and your siblings are all here per Alfred's order. You ate and about to move to the game room.
Then suddenly a vertical Lazarus-pit-like portal appears in the middle of the room.
Before you even finish getting into a combat formation, jacked up THOMAS FUCKING WAYNE walks out and straight to Alfred. Befuddled, you don't stop him.
"EIGHT CHILDREN? ARE YOU CRAZY???" Probably Thomas bellows, shaking Alfred ...gently? like he's afraid Alfred will snap in half or drop dead right here and now.
Alfred, wait is he- yes you see it right, smirks, "I haven't slightest idea what you're talking about, Master Thomas."
"You are such a shit," then a realization, "is Gotham also in on this?"
You look at Bruce and see him standing stock-still, pale face. Yeah, no help from that corner.
A shiver runs up your spine like the feeling of jumping from the highest point of Wayne Enterprise for the first time. A cold giggle follows as the shadows of the furniture bleed out and build up and up and up, swallowing the ceiling.
You look up despite yourself. A giant face of Martha Wayne, protruding from the concrete with steel rods coiling and clinging the edge of her gray face like blood vessels, greets you.
"My hands are full with Bruce and our grandchildren as it is." Martha (Gotham?) protests coyly.
"Ha!" Alfred crows. You want to wake up from this nightmare yesterday.
But Martha didn't finish yet. "How could I have time to watch for his antics?"
Alfred looks like he's about to protest.
Oh, oh no.
He pouts.
You fall back to the nearest seat. Your brother who wasn't near any seat and thus, just plopped down on the floor seems sympathetic.
Your grandparents ignore you. You aren't sure if your dad is still breathing.
You are about to ask if he's alright but Thomas interrupts you.
"Is that your excuse for letting him pregnant with eIGHT CHILDREN?"
"WHAT"
Oh, Bruce is alright after all—
Nope. He faints now.
Then the portal shines brighter and what stumble out of it are...
Even if Clockwork wasn't actually Realms pregnant, even if he did just literally deage them, it still hilarious.
And yes, poor Bruce. At least he probably knows where he gets his child hoarding from now (all three of his parents apparently). Which, this technically makes Bruce a demigod while he's alive and a deity when he dies because of the Ancient stuff (No one tell him yet he has enough to process as is).
Anyway, quite a way to reunite with his parents huh? And apparently end up with eight more siblings, all of which are absolutely tiny (for the most part).
... y'know~? What if Leslie was in on things, mostly because 'If I can learn medicine from an ancient highly advanced immortal species then I don't care how cryptid they or my patients are, medical school is expensive!'. And if Alfred did actually hold the cores for a while (even if not the whole time), imagine Leslie being the only one who knows because it's probably not that good to constantly realm jump for checks. Sure they're mostly energy anyway but still.
Just the hilariousness of "yes but no" in regards to carrying them plus Alfred sneaking around so his family wouldn't freak out and mess up his plans or force him to rest (like they listen to him without persuasion). Also him trying to hide weird food he's hungry for (especially stuff that a normal mortal human would die eating, partially because we all know some of the kids are crazy enough to attempt to eat it half of the time). Also, his weekly 'visits with an old friend'? (Let's face it, he needs breaks but if he's gone more than a few days the house will be on fire, so weekly breaks it is instead of monthly). Anyway, that's him spending time with Gotham, having tea and maybe gossiping and giving her updates on the kids (she doesn't ALWAYS pry, she mostly pries into their patrols which she tells Alfred all about since he usually sticks to the manor). Just, co parenting and rambling and no one knows. But that still doesn't mean Gotham has time for his antics, it just means they try to take a break but end up talking about the kids instead of each other.
Oh and imagine the day the kids take on their human forms and SEVERAL of them have black hair, which checks, but the two darker ones make them a little confused (might be funny if they assume the kids are just trying to mimic family members with Duke and Damien being darker skinned in different ways). Alfred is the only one who knows about their original past though.
Also, what if this was a 'seal away the dimension with Amity Park' situation? IE, too dangerous for the kids, so he made em all halfas, deaged em, sealed their memories (at least temporarily), and locked that dimension away, which would eventually destroy it due to the disconnect.
Also there's a long-running idea of Fright Knight being a Flashpoint Thomas, partially seeing as most iterations of Batmen are 'knights'. But back to the others.
Gotham has a hard time showing herself because Bruce and the grandkids aren't liminal enough yet to actually see her, but with Pariah being the king of ghosts, his power Leaks, so she gets stronger, the kids get more liminal, and eventually she can go from the Giant-City-Shadow-Woman to the Eldritch-'Human'-Shadow-Woman (IE walk around and actually interact with the family again).
And I will never stop running with the idea that she collects curses to give to Thomas, but also to protect the mortals of the city because she can handle them and they couldn't, not directly. These curses, as you captured well, do make her a bit weird and unhinged though.
I think instead of a staff and a wall of mirrors Alfred carries an antique pocket watch that has a mirror on the back, and he uses that to watch his family when they're out of the house, or to stop time (maybe it's secretly his staff but in a hidden form). Also, him being Clockwork makes the grandfather clock entrance even funnier because he IS a grandfather clock.
The toddlers will get into a lot of shenanigans though. And probably pick a favorite niece/nephew (even those only related emotionally). Tuck will probably drift towards Tim or Babs, I kinda want Dan to drift towards Damien but Sam could fit him too, Val might like Cass, and I like the idea of nerdy Jazz reading with Jason (or at least being read to). I feel like Dani and Steph both thrive in the chaos they can cause, and either Danny or Vlad drift towards Dick maybe? Not sure, feel free to come up with your own ideas for playing favorites.
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Which, I feel like Thomas would try spending most of his time at the mansion. In part because his obsession is actually Family, it just got twisted when he lost his family. So he stays for his family, and in part because he misses being human (he used to be a Halfa before his death, so combine losing his human half with losing his family and you have a mess big enough to be sent eons into the past over). But also because he finds out the kids have human forms 'Of course they do, kids are never simple' and decides it'll be better to live in a human city with enough emotions and ecto to sustain them as well as human stuff (on top of him being there to supplement the necessary ecto).
Also, do you think Bruce finds out his dad is King before or after the JL summoning? Either way I'm laughing at the idea of him getting handed the kids that were dragged along while his dad takes care of whatever is needed.
Bruce was the first to wake, a grumpy four-year old poking his face while his- his dad checked his vitals. He still wasn't sure what to make of the situation, still in shock from the pile of revelations.
Alfred seemed to be fussing over several of the grandkids, while Martha tried to keep the toddlers distracted with shadow manipulation so the two men could work. She'd always been a bit more of a guide than a medic anyway, and it didn't help that she couldn't form a proper body either.
Bruce took a slow deep breath and glanced around, before finally looking up at his dad again. Words caught in his throat, but the tears spoke enough, overflowing with his emotions.
Thomas pulled him into a hug, holding Bruce tightly, his own tears beginning to fall now that he held his son for the first time in what had been eons for him.
The silence was poignant, and Bruce felt like a child again. Part of him certainly replayed that bitter death, but mostly he thought about the sweet memories, of his happiest times with his mother and father and Alfred. And, for once, his guard was truly down, all faithful in his dad like the kid he used to be.
At some point, his own children were ushered into the hug, protestors silenced by Alfred, or quieting of their own accord.
Only Alfred knew how long they sat there, clinging to each other like the last lifeboats on a sinking ship.
I absolutely love that blurb. Absolutely adorable. Amazing. Perfection.
Hear me out: Leslie has tea with Frostbite and other yetis sometimes. They exchange medical care. She learns more about the health of supernatural beings and they learn more about human care.
Jordan and Sam fight for Damian's attention. But it's toddler fighting, so there's several pictures and videos of it with the others cooing about how adorable they are.
I think it would be hilarious if this happens like a week before JL summons Pariah/Thomas. I think it would be even more hilarious if Bruce straight up tells JL Dark there's no need to summon the ghost king (something he found out about the Night Before, wtf Dad, that's not something you just forget about!) and they ignore him. Just so he can go I told you so. He's petty like that.
Oh my god Alfred definitely hides his staff as a simple pocket watch. I bet the others hide things as jewelry too. Martha hides/seals her curse collection in a pearl necklace. Thomas' crown is hidden as some sort of bracelet or earring me thinks. Omg, the Ring of Rage is their wedding band.
Thomas/Fright Knight has gotten claimed as Pariah/Thomas' brother. They find it funny. Hilarious even. They're also both going to therapy, even if it's currently just in the Realms. No one wants to deal with making living ID at this moment seeing as well, Bruce's parents just came back.
They're all adjusting, y'know?
I think it'd be funny if Bruce ends up being all the halfa toddlers' favorite. Because he's tall, gives good hugs when he actually gives them, doesn't mind carrying them places, and his cape is the ultimate hiding spot.
Even better Ultimate Hiding Spot once his own semi demigod powers start developing and he gets Unlimited Cape Void space. All of the kids love it.
I bet he gives hugs more easily once his parents are back. Like they're definitely maybe a little touch-starved and Thomas alone is definitely constantly hugging or checking on each of his family members to make sure they're alright.
Oh gods, she DOES. And, although they don't know it, the Batfam are technically supernatural and she's been slipping some of that care into her regimen for them. ESPECIALLY for Jason, hangry 'baby' needs help.
Yes it's toddler fighting but then it ends up with Sam trying to tie him up in vines and then crying when he burns them and now they're both upset.
Pariah gets summoned, isn't even held by the binding circle, ignores pretty much everyone but the Batfam members in the league, hands the kids over, and tells them they better not be late for dinner. Then proceeds to slightly eviscerate JLD verbally before letting them ask questions (he's not asking everything).
Oh lawdy the pearls. But I can see that. She strung it herself and, every so often, she seems to pluck a new pearl from midair and adds it to the string. They're black pearls though, instead of her original white, but they shine almost red in the right light. And Thomas definitely has that 'gay single earring' (half joking but also not) and probably gets teased about it from his partners. And ooo that's interesting. Which, adding to my theory about how the King/Queen/High Royal HAS to be a Halfa for various 'without your human half the relics would overpower you', what if the relics have to have some tie to your human side? The ring is the wedding with Martha, and the earring was something Alfred got him since they couldn't get married (maybe he gave the other half to Martha). They're still not sure when it merged with the Royal crown but at this point it doesn't really matter.
Imagine being a Batkid or even Bruce and Alfred takes it that ancient pocket watch he never lets anyone touch. He clicks it and it turns into a staff like nothing you've ever seen before, and as the bottom strikes the floor time seems to slow around you all (meanwhile Tim, upon finding out Alfred is the time ancient, wonders why he didn't help with Bruce being stuck in time).
Oh my gods Bruce is gonna be the best big brother. And I'm going to stick to your Ancient of Family (after he dies) idea. Which, what's funny is Pariah is Protection(?) Ancient Shadow Core Family Obsession but Bruce is Family Ancient Shadow Core Protection Obsession (truly his father's son). And yeah he definitely gives more hugs, they all do.
I just had an interesting thought of Alfred not being able to mimic some of the finer points of being human. Sure he been around a while, but changing biology on a whim or even over time isn't easy for someone who isn't naturally a shapeshifter. So, while he almost seems to have a normal heart, if someone listens too hard for too long they can hear the tiks and toks and the clinking of gears.
Bruce pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. He’s usually not one for such an open sign of distress, but he feels in this case it was warranted. And he was having such a peaceful morning, too.
“Did she just write ‘yeti doctor’?”
Bruce’s head snaps up at Steph’s voice, looking once again at the letter on the screen. “Dear Mister Wayne,” it reads, and that is where normalcy ends. “Thank you so much for taking in Danny, I was so worried when he had to escape our parents.” Which is already an extremely worrying sentence. Made even more worrisome with the fact that there is no Danny currently residing in his manor.
His family is in chaos. Tim has three screens in front of him, ranting about living firewalls to Barbara, while Dick leans over his shoulder.
Alfred has lifted a thick three-ring binder out of the care package that this Jasmine Nightingale has sent them, and is flipping through it. Apparently this binder contains all of the medical, psychological, and cultural information needed to make sure that Danny’s species can thrive. Because the missing teen that should be in his manor is not human, but some sort of human/ghost hybrid.
“Father, I think this warrants an emergency meeting with the Justice League.” His youngest says. “There is currently a government agency hunting Cujo and Daniel, citing laws that directly counter the Meta Human Protection Acts. This cannot stand.” Cujo, the green glowing, 10 foot ghostdog that delivered the package and letter this morning by density shifting into the dining room during breakfast. Damian was of course attached.
“Uh, Alfred?” Duke starts form where he and Jason have been emptying the care package, “there’s a huge first aid kit here, but most of it is glowing.” Jason, of course, is turning the high tech laser pistols over in his hands, getting a feel for the handling and grip.
Bruce let’s his eyes skim over the letter again, his eyes catching on words like “Ghost King”, “Infinite Realms”, and “vivisection”. “I know it takes Danny a while to open up,” the letter reads, “so I’m beyond grateful that he feels safe enough with you.” Except he doesn’t, because Danny is not here. Somewhere out on the streets of Gotham is a half dead teenager, hurt and alone. And Bruce didn’t know. Didn’t know any of it until his sister sent him a care package, because apparently this kid has lied to his sister that he’s safe, that he found somewhere to stay.
He doesn’t notice the sudden hush behind him until Jason breaks it. “Is that fucking Lazarus Water?!” Bruce lowers his head back into his hands.
“I will prepare a room for the young master.” Alfred sniffs as his footsteps go towards the elevator. “I’m finding this kid.” Jason answers, leaving towards the lockers
“Wait, Little Wing! I’m coming with!” Well, at least Dick can hopefully keep Jason in line. He prays to Rao this doesn’t mean he has to deal with a half-ghost, immensely powerful teen that struggles with Pit Rage.
A small hand lands on Bruce’s shoulder. He looks up into the sparkling eyes of his daughter. “New brother”, she grins.
From @augundy's tags: #this is very himbo of danny#I approve#though I feel like he probably made up this lie on the spot while on the phone with Jazz and feeling incredibly stressed out and/or in pain#and/or extremely tired#and then he might've forgot about it after
From @geekyrie in the notes: "Bruce's first order of business is finding the teen he's supposed to take care of. The second order of business is most likely to ground him for giving him a heart attack, probably."
---
All in all, Danny’s life is going pretty well. Sure, he’s homeless on the streets of Gotham, but he hasn’t seen a white van in a few weeks, he can phase into gyms to use the showers, and he just found a coupon for a free fro-yo! So, yeah, life is great!
Which is of course when weird things start happening to him. He should have known it wouldn’t last. He’s just enjoying his fro-yo – blueberry, hell yeah – when a car passes him, breaks with tires squealing, and drives onto the sidewalk, coming to a stop uncomfortably close. It’s a nice car though, very sleek. Danny wonders what kind of engine it has, and if someone would notice if he took a look under the hood.
He never gets that chance. Instead a tall man with broad shoulders steps out of the car. He looks mad, and he looks specifically at Danny. Whelp, better keep moving then! Danny focuses hard on the next bite, looking down, and starts power-walking out of there.
“Daniel Thomas Nightingale-Wayne!”
Wait, what? He looks back to the tall man in the suit, and yeah, he’s still looking at Danny. More people stopped at the commotion, aaaaaaand great, here come the phone cameras. Tall man is walking towards him and Danny really doesn’t want to cause a scene, right now. Also the man is familiar. Somewhere.
“Where have you been?” oh, the man is still talking to him, “We’ve been looking all over for you. You can’t just disappear for six days.”
Again, what? “I’m sorry?” He tries, “also, I think you ha-”
“I appreciate the apology, chum, but you’re still grounded.”
“Wha- Grounded?!”
The man, wait – Wayne? Bruce Wayne?! Why would billionaire and himbo Brucie Wayne think he’s one of his kids? Mister Wayne crouches down, not caring about the dirty sidewalk and places his hands on Danny’s shoulders. “Sweetheart,” he starts and Danny absolutely does not melt, nope, “your sisters have been worried sick. Jason is stress-baking, Tim hasn’t slept in three days, and Damian has been – well you know Damian doesn’t show it, but I know he’s been worried.”
Danny is so confused. And now confused and slightly guilty. He doesn’t even know these people! Does he?
“Now come on, get in the car. I think Alfred was making one of your favorites for dinner tonight, and you can call your sister when we get to the manor.” Wayne’s hand on his shoulder is gentle and warm as he guides him, nothing like Vlad’s bruising grip.
“You talked to Jazz?” He asks as he’s deposited into the passenger’s side.
“Oh yes,” Wayne says, with a weird twinkle in his eye, “she’s been waiting to talk to you.”
And oh, oh no, that does not sound good at all.
---
Meanwhile the Gothamites are having a blast. Brucie Wayne full-naming someone only happens when his kids really messed up. Like, Richard swinging from the not-enforced chandelier in Mrs. Plotnik’s mega yacht messed up. Also this kid is obviously homeless. Does Bruce really get empty nest syndrome so bad that he’s now picking up random kids off the streets? The Waynes are so weird.
more than anything i want a world where a trans girl realizing she is a trans girl faces zero fear from that realization and subsequent coming out. Where she can say "Oh sweet, I can just be a girl? Sign me up!", no worrying if shes girl enough, no worrying if society will accept her, no worrying if she'll be an attractive girl as she transitions, no worrying at all in any way shape or form.
that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.
a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.
