[nellialu]

Helluva Boss Masterlist

My requests are currently open!

Blitzø

✯ Quitting I.M.P. - Blitz x GN! Reader

Loona

✯ Loved Truly - Loona x Short Male! Reader

✯ Haven't Had Enough - Loona x Human Demon Hunter! Reader

Stolas

✯ From Now On - Stolas x Fem! Reader

Fizzarolli And Asmodeus

✯ The Challenge - Fizzarolli x GN! Reader

Fizzarolli, Blitz, Stolas, Asmodeus

✯ I'll Be Seeing You: Chapter 1

✯ I'll Be Seeing You: Chapter 2

✯ I'll Be Seeing You: Chapter 3

✯ I'll Be Seeing You: Chapter 4

[nellialu]

The Challenge

I had this idea halfway through the day, and I had a giggle about it. I didn’t know which pairing to do this with at first, but it just felt right with these two. This will most likely be three parts.

Pairing: Fizzarolli x Asmodeus x Reader

Warning: Sex talk (Eventual smut)

Word Count: 909

November.

It was a month full of warmth and celebration. The leaves continued through their transformation, covering the ground with red. As it was above on earth, so it was below in Hell. Though only in one ring. Pride.

Lust, however, was always blue. It seemed especially true in November. 

You woke up today between your two lovers, Asmodeus and Fizzarolli. They were both asleep, and it was officially the first day of November. You groan as you remember what today meant.

The challenge begins. 

You think back to mid-October…the conversation that would raise competitiveness among all three of you. 

“C’mon, Oz. You know you can’t resist us,” Fizz said with a challenge in his tone and a shit eating grin.

Ozzie needed to check on stuff in the factory, but Fizz and you wanted a bit more time with him since he had been working so much lately. It had been a while since you all had been intimate together.

“He’s not wrong, Ozzie,” you add on as you drape yourself over Fizz, trying to entice Ozzie to come back to bed.

Fizz smirks and brings you closer, and Ozzie lets out a snort. You lean your head on Fizz's shoulder, enjoying the closeness. He places his hand on your hip.

“I have self-control,” Ozzie responds calmly as he gets up.

You frown, watching as he slips on his robe. Without any help. How devastating.

“Oh, please. I bet you’d be the first to break if we refrained from sex. I mean…come on. You’re literally the embodiment of Lust,” You say with a pout as you sit up. 

Fizz follows you, sitting up, distracted by your bare skin. You, of course, knew that Ozzie had excellent self-control because there were moments when sexual intimacy wasn't needed or wanted. You just wanted to be a pain in this moment, and Fizz was just along for the ride.

“What they said,” Fizz mutters mindlessly as he tugs you closer and brings you into a kiss.

Ozzie shakes his head as he watches Fizz and you languidly make out. You knew it was affecting him when you felt him lean over both of you without getting on the bed.

“I doubt that. Fizz gets turned on with the slightest caress, and you…Well, you always initiate,” Ozzie says as you feel his breath above you.

“I do not!” Fizz pulls back from the kiss.

“And I don’t always initiate!” You scoff.

Ozzie lets out a laugh at both of your defensiveness before he looks down at Fizz's…excitement due to the kissing. You couldn't help but giggle and move your hand higher, proving Ozzie's point in a way.

“How about we put it to the test?” Fizz suddenly says as he stands.

You look at him, dumbfounded by the sudden shift as your hand drops, and Ozzie looks at him with interest. Fizz always had crazy challenges, but it always worked to prove at least one of your points.

“And how would we do that?” Ozzie says with a smirk.

“Well, we could partake in a special little something next month,” Fizz says with a mischievous grin.

Ozzie picked up on what Fizz was saying right away. 

“Are you sure you want to play this way, froggie?” Ozzie says with an equally wicked smile. 

"Well, obviously," Fizz responds.

“Can someone tell me what happens next month?” You ask, confused, and Ozzie chuckles.

Fizz places a finger under your chin and turns your head to face him.

“A little challenge. No Nut November.” Fizz says.

“What? That’s your challenge? Easy,” you say as you roll your eyes with a smile.  

Fizz and Ozzie glance at each other.

“BUT…this means no touching at all, boys. Not even ourselves. Ozzie, I don’t know what freaky powers you have, but you can’t use them to get yourself off, and Fizz…well, I don’t know. But you can't do anything.” You continue as you stand, confident that you’d outlast them. 

“Wait…we can’t get ourselves off?” Fizz asked incredulously.

You smirk as Ozzie laughs. You shake your head.

“It’s for everything. Otherwise, I’d definitely win. I need a challenge,” you tease.

“You two severely underestimate how much control I have,” Ozzie says, accepting the challenge.

Fizz mutters to himself about not being able to get himself off, but agrees to the challenge anyway. 

There was no time wasted after on the night the challenge was brought up, as everyone got their fill of each other before October ended. In a way, the idea of the challenge had made us more intimate as we prepared for the nothingness that would happen in November if we held out.

You look up at your lovers and wonder if they’d follow through. Would they bring it up? Had they forgotten all of it? 

You know Ozzie would most likely remember since the challenge arose because of him in a way. 

But Fizz? You knew you only had one person to beat, and it wasn’t him. Fizz got aroused at the simplest of things, like Ozzie had mentioned, and you weren’t planning on playing fair. 

You were ready to pull out all the stops. You bought new clothes at the end of October for November. You researched ways to get them both to succumb in the end. You knew their weaknesses when it came to you.

This month would end with your victory. This win would be yours.

Whooo! First chapter done! I hope y'all enjoy!

Also, I'm still updating I'll Be Seeing You, but I've found that working on multiple works gives me space to take breaks from the same content and not burn out!

[nellialu]

I'll Be Seeing You

✯ Chapter 1 ✯ Chapter 2 ✯ Chapter 3 ✯ Chapter 4 ✯

hey...hey...how y'all doing....

It's been a little over a year since I last wrote an update for this story, and there are a couple of reasons. Feel free to skip this next paragraph if you don't want to know why. That's fair. Story is below! :)

One of the bigger issues was that the document I was drafting this story on got deleted, which wasn't fun. I lost motivation, and over time, I literally lost the plot. Like, where is this story going? But I vaguely remember some things, so I've been slowly coming back to it. I also went through a terrible relationship/breakup. However, I am away from all that negativity, and if anyone is interested, I'm still updating this story.

Also, I know some people asked to be on a tag list, but that was a year ago...and like...I feel bad...cause what if they forgot...and are like what the hell is this? SO! I'll start one starting the next update, based on whether anyone asks for one!

Pairing: Poly (Stolas, Blitz, Fizz, and Ozzie)* x Reader (Disclaimer at the end)

Warning: Cursing, description of mild sexual imagery (?)

Word Count: 2.1K

You hold your hand steady as you apply eyeliner. You did not expect to go out tonight, but surprises were becoming the norm. You stand up and walk over to the bed, where your outfit is neatly laid out. You hated it. A sigh escapes you as you realize that you have nothing that would match the atmosphere of where you are going out tonight. You hear your phone chime from where your vanity is and walk over to it. 

Emmie

Heading out now! See you in a bit!

You bite your lip as you panic, glancing back at your outfit. You scroll back up to your earlier messages.

Emmie

Hey…sorry to text you like this.

I have a favor to ask you.

It’s Emmie, by the way.

You

Hey! No need to apologize.

Owe you for last time, what’s up?

Emmie

So, I had reservations for Ozzie’s tonight, and long story short, I need someone to go with.

As colleagues, of course. 

I’m not trying to ask you out or anything.

I MEAN YOU’RE GREAT

Sorry, this is weird. You can say no.

You

Isn’t it super hard to get reservations for Ozzie’s? And for couples only?

Emmie

Yeah…

I know it’s weird, but I didn’t want the reservation to go to waste.

I was supposed to go there with my partner, but they decided to mess around elsewhere.  

I figured we both could use a night out. 

You

Count me in. 

Here’s my address

You put down your phone as you decide to look into your closet one last time. You finally decide on a ruffle-front shirt with black dress pants. You step in front of your mirror and slightly wince as you realize you look too overdressed. It’s fine. Ozzie’s is located in the Lust Ring, so there will be much more to stare at than your fashion choices tonight. Besides, you were supposed to be having fun tonight, so you look back into the mirror and eventually, you feel a lot better about what you’re wearing. 

You hear knocking at your front door and quickly grab everything you need. You walk towards the door and open it to see Emmie there.

As you step out, you greet Emmie with a warm smile. 

“Hey! I just want to say thank you for coming with me tonight. I know it’s weird, and I know that I probably shouldn’t have spilled why I had the reservation, and I know that we’re coworkers, and this can be seen as inappropriate-” 

You place your hand on her shoulder as you laugh at her rambling.

“It’s okay, Emmie. Thanks to your crappy partner, we get a fun night out on the town,” you say with a playful tone.

She smiles, and you lead her to the front of your apartment building, enjoying the vibes as you both head over to Ozzie’s. 

~~

“I thought they were going to ask for proof,” Emmie whispers as she sits at the table.

You finally got into Ozzie’s, the popular restaurant with its iconic neon sign. The line outside moved quickly for its length, and you couldn't help but raise your eyebrows at Emmie's comment before bursting into laughter.

“Of being a couple? Like what? Ask us if we do it every-” You pause, your eyes drawn to a table with a man who clearly had another guest who wasn’t sitting in their chair...but under the table. “Actually, let’s be glad they didn’t.”

She laughs and orders a drink from one of the servers who comes to the table. As you ordered and listened to the server speak, it was clear that you weren't from Lust. You chuckle, feeling a bit out of your element. As you gather your surroundings, the distance from the stage becomes apparent, and with it, the realization that you won’t be seen from the main stage due to the blinding lights. This eases your anxiety, knowing you’re less likely to be singled out... unless you went to the club where you worked.

You shake your head as you remember how Stolas sat towards the back of the club you performed at, and you singled him out a while ago. You hoped you wouldn't pay for that tonight. You look at Emmie and realize she is staring down at her phone, clutching it tightly.

“Is everything alright?” 

She looks up with teary eyes.

“Yeah!... No,” she says, her voice trembling as she snatches the drink she ordered and gulps it down in one go. 

Your eyes widen as you contemplate whether to pry into Emmie's troubles.

“Actually, I’m sorry. I have to go, but please stay. Enjoy this for me. My asshole of a partner is threatening to kick me out of my apartment,” she says as she grabs her things and hurries out the door. 

You look around, shocked, aware that being caught alone could lead to you being kicked out. At least that's what you thought, since you needed someone to get in. You’re on the verge of leaving when the server appears to collect Emmie’s empty drink.

“You just need someone to get in, but you can’t help what happens once you’re inside,” she seductively says as she leans close to you as if she had read your mind. You can't help but wonder if she's more than just a server in this place. 

You manage an awkward smile of gratitude as you thank her. She smirks and saunters away, leaving you with your drink. Well, at least that was one problem solved. 

You sip on your drink, trying to calm your nerves as you take in the ambiance. This was definitely not a place where you would take someone on a first date. The air is thick with tension, and you've seen so much in the past few minutes that you wish you hadn’t. 

As you continue your people-watching, a familiar face catches your eye. Blitz. Since your last encounter, you’ve managed to text each other occasionally. Nothing too serious, but it was still a form of communication. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t happy to have contact with your old friend. 

Your brows knit together as you watch him look at another couple while Stolas sits across from him. Could this be a date? The last time you spoke to Stolas, it seemed like he might have feelings for Blitz, but you couldn’t be sure. You watch as Blitz shifts his attention to Stolas, who looks confused. 

Just as you're about to try to catch Blitz’s eye, your attention is stolen by the returning server. She takes your empty cup, and you request another drink, deciding to make the most of the evening. As you turn back to Blitz, his eyes meet yours, and a flicker of recognition passes between you. But before you can react, a voice from the stage interrupts, causing you and Blitz to turn in surprise.  

“Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight!”

Is that…?

“Welcome, welcome to Ozzie’s, Lust ring’s number one place for all kinds of sick, twisted fantasies put on display for all you ‘sleaze’ and ‘sleazettes.’ The gem joint of Asmodeus himself, c’mon, give him some love!”

You feel your heart in your throat as you look straight at the stage. You notice that Blitz hides behind a menu. Oh, he was not kidding about not hanging out with him anymore. 

“I am the one and only Fizzarolli!” 

You feel your thoughts start speeding through your mind as he continues talking. The pain, the yearning, it's all-consuming. How can you find both of them again in such a short period of time? You look up to find Blitz staring at you, his concern visible even from behind the menu.

‘Are you okay?’ Blitz mouths at you, his eyes filled with a shared understanding.

You just stare, your heart lodged in your throat. You glance back up to the stage just in time to see Fizzarolli move towards a different seat in the house as an imp takes the stage. Blitz’s attention is back on the imp as he cringes at the love song he begins to sing.

Despite your absolute emotional pain, you couldn’t help but smile at the song. It feels a little out of place, but you notice that his wife is enjoying this declaration of love, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

Suddenly, you notice a shift in the music that the imp didn’t seem familiar with. This is followed by a chorus of ‘I love you’ drowning out the imp's singing. 

You singing love songs in my lustful lounge?

Ozzie’s ain’t the place for sentimental sound.

What? Your eyes widen as you watch Asmodeus and Fizzarolli take over this poor imp’s song. What was Fizzarolli doing with the embodiment of Lust? The shock of seeing Fizzarolli dismiss the notion of 'sentimental' thoughts was too overwhelming to push away. Maybe it was the location? He did say Ozzie's wasn't the place. That had to be it.

You find yourself torn, your eyes darting towards the exit as you consider leaving while the focus is still on the stage. Your hands shake as you press them into your thighs, an attempt to calm the storm of panic building within you.  

Well, we got a saying that's popular in these parts.

Only little bitches strum the strings of their hearts.

You begin thinking of what you've been through since you last saw them. Dating, though you didn’t want to admit it, had become a series of failed attempts to fill the void left when you ran away from the circus, from Fizzarolli and Blitz. Despite your best efforts, your heart still clung to their memories, which led to heartbreak when you couldn’t replicate the same feeling you had with them. You wanted to hate them, but your love for them persisted. 

But this was eye-opening. You find yourself staring at the flame from the candle on your table when you hear Blitz’s voice, which cuts through the noise like a knife. 

“Hey, now. I've watched those two pork many times.”

What the hell? The imp’s voice shows his surprise as he notices Blitz's presence. How do they know each other?

“And, honestly, they make missionary look relatively exciting.”

What?

“Is that Blitzo? So, you're showing your face?! Hey, everybody! This guy's a total disgrace! Some nerve you've got to comment on a relationship. Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!”

Your jaw drops as you watch Fizzarolli, his voice dripping with venom, rip into Blitz as if they were never friends. You watch as another demon sings about how Blitz is a heartbreaker. Stolas quickly stands when he sees Blitz shoved to the floor. 

Who's that at the table? Is your date a demon prince?

Fizzarolli leans closer to the audience, and you immediately sink into your chair. You are not above hiding underneath the table. 

You turn to look at Stolas again. 

Wooo! My dark lord, how the mighty do fall. You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all. I hope you didn't give it up. So, you and him could get it on.

You watch as Stolas hides behind a menu, and Blitz looks off to the side. You couldn’t even focus on what was going on onstage anymore. All you could see was that your friend was hurt. You watch Stolas, his hand reaching out for Blitz before Blitz tugs his hand back. Blitz says something before he stands up and walks towards the exit. You stand, and Stolas notices you there. He doesn’t look good as he trails after Blitz. Feeling their pain as your own, you decide that there’s nothing left for you here. 

The Fizzarolli you knew, the one you trusted, would have never done that to his friend. It’s true that you didn’t know what happened between them, but how could it make so much hate come forward? What you just witnessed was cruel, and it was meant to hurt him. Blitz is different from the person you knew, but he didn’t shock you with how much he had changed. 

You look up to the stage and notice Fizzarolli and Asmodeus walking into the audience, so you quickly look down and gather your stuff. But luck isn’t on your side. As you look up, Fizzarolli turns to look in your direction, and you make eye contact. You couldn’t help how your eyes widened, but you realized he looked confused when you did so. How much had you changed over the years? You awkwardly turn away as you walk towards the exit—no more confrontations.

You’ll stick with Blitz. For now.

Songs Mentioned: House of Asmodeus, sung by the cast of Helluva Boss

*Whooo, they finally made up their mind. They being me. Based on comments and messages in my inbox, a poly ship was the most popular option. We love to see it.

Disclaimer time. To the best of my ability, I've been writing in gender-neutral terms, but I do slip up. As someone who is fem-presenting, it isn't new for me to use certain words or behaviors that might be seen as such. Because of this, I'm inclined to say that the "reader" character will most likely come off as fem-presenting. With that in mind, read at your own discretion.

Thank you!

[nellialu]

Spoilers for Sinsmas

The parallels between “You Will Be Okay” and “I Will Be Okay” had me pausing the video every five seconds as I took in a sharp breath each time and just stared at the screen.

[nellialu]

I’ve been gone for a while, but I will be back with more writing.

For today, I fear I will let Sinsmas be all I think about and cry the entire day (I don’t feel very holly or jolly)

[nellialu]

just finished watching Apology Tour and I’m about to go into my second rewatch because I like crying.

[nellialu]

I have decided to stop watching Helluva Boss after Apology Tour. My heart cannot take it. (Joking but damn, that episode had me in tears)

[nellialu]

Not sure if you're still looking for input on the ship for I'll Be Seeing You. If you are tho, personally I like the idea of Fizz x Ozzie x Reader OR all 5 if that's an option, just because I feel bad breaking up Fizz and Oz or breaking up Blitzø and Stolas. However, it is your story so it's really up to what you want to write, and you're doing a great job so I trust your judgement no matter what ❤️

Yes, I'm still looking for input!

I totally get it! I would also feel bad breaking up Fizz and Ozzie! I think I've been leaning toward a poly relationship! I think the next chapter and even chapter 3 were carefully written to allow me the space to do so!

And thank you so much! It truly means a lot to me that you think I'm doing a good job and took the time out of your day to tell me that. It's super sweet, and I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my silly little fanfic! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

(If you're curious about "I'll Be Seeing You," click here for the most recent chapter, which has links to the previous chapters!)

[nellialu]

Hello! I love "I'll Be Seeing You" and can't wait to see where the story goes.

I was wondering if you take smut requests and if you do, would it be possible for you to write a Stolas x Fem Reader smut?

It's totally fine if you don't! I wish you luck with whatever you're writing regardless, and I hope you have a good day!

From Now On

Hey there! Thank you so much for the request! I'll definitely take these kinds of requests, but it's up to you guys to see if you like it!

Also, this is one of those posts where MDNI really starts making sense from my bio lol

Pairing: Stolas x Fem Reader

Warnings: Smut (I tried to use the word "sex" to refer to the lower region because I thought it was for a gn reader, but regardless, I think I used words used specifically for females a couple of times)

Word Count: 1.2K

You pant heavily as your head hits the pillow. Your eyes are closed, completely lost in bliss. You feel hands softly rubbing your inner thighs as you try to gain control over your thoughts again. 

You feel soft kisses trail up your torso, then up the valley of your chest, up your neck, and finally at your jaw.

“Do you believe me now, darling?” 

You slightly hum, mind empty, as Stolas kisses the outer corner of your eye. 

“What was that? I couldn’t quite understand you,” Stolas says.

You feel his hand resting on your lower stomach before he slowly starts lowering his hand. You whimper as his hand cups your sex. Your hips slightly buck into his hand. 

“I love you,” Stolas whispers against your neck. 

His finger slips into your folds, and you gasp. You’re still sensitive, and your senses are heightened. Your back arches as you feel Stolas’ fingers slide in easily. You cry out as you come again. He pumps his fingers in and out a couple times as you ride the wave of pleasure.

“So sensitive,” Stolas whispers lovingly.

You open your eyes to see Stolas licking his fingers clean. You feel your face warm as you turn away from the vulgar display. Stolas gently takes your chin, turning you to look at him. 

“So sweet,” he whispers as he leans into you, kissing your lips softly. 

Your arm wraps around his neck as the other goes to his face. You cling to him, entirely overcome by the love. You feel his arms wrap around your waist, pushing your hips down onto his leg. You moan into the kiss as you feel your sex make contact with his leg—your hip involuntary bucks forward, searching for friction. You feel Stolas smile into the kiss before he shifts his leg closer.

You break the kiss as you whine. Your ears feel warm, slightly embarrassed. 

“Look at my beautiful lover,” he whispers as he grabs your leg and lifts it slightly higher to get closer. “Using me for their pleasure.”

“Stolas, please, I can’t,” you cry as you continue to rock your hips against his leg. 

Stolas uses one hand to sweep your hair out of your face, and the other to help guide your hips.

“You’re so close, my love. You’ve been so good for me,” Stolas encourages.

You’re on the brink of going over the edge but can’t reach it. You feel tears begin pooling as you desperately seek release. 

Stolas cups your face as he kisses your tears away. The tenderness of it all sends you over the edge as you come another time. Your body shakes as you cling tightly to Stolas. 

“Please, please, I can’t anymore,” you cry. 

Stolas shushes you as he strokes your hair gently, helping you down. You feel him pull away, but you don’t loosen your grip on him. 

“Dear, let me clean you up,” he tries to persuade you.

“Don’t leave me,” you say as you look up at him with teary eyes. 

Stolas softly smiles down at you before he takes you in his arms. 

“Never. A bath together it is, then.” 

You cuddle closer into his chest as he walks you over to the bath before gently putting you down and preparing it. You stare intently and blush when you make eye contact with him. You turn away from him again, but he’s there to redirect your attention.

“Now, now, there’s no need to turn away from me,” Stolas teases as he helps you get in the bath. 

He slips in behind you and he wraps his arms around your waist. He sighs contentedly as he rests his head on top of yours. 

“Stolas,” you pause, your voice trembling with the weight of your oncoming confession. “I’m sorry for ever doubting you about your love for me. It’s just…it’s hard to believe sometimes, and I’m sorry it’s made me angry and that I kept it inside.” 

You feel him back away slightly. The silence stretches out, and you feel like running. Yet, you stay, your heart weighing heavily with each breath, anticipating his next words. You feel something before you hear it—tears on your back. You quickly turn around to see Stolas, his face twisted, tears pooling in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I should have done more,” Stolas whispers, his voice filled with regret and self-blame.

You briskly shake your head before taking his face into your hands.

“No, you listen to me. My thoughts are my own, but it doesn’t make them true. You always make me feel loved. It’s just…harder to see when I don’t think I’m worthy enough of being with a…” you pause, your voice choked with emotion, as you gesture to him.

“Goetia prince.” You say with a posh accent.

You sigh as your shoulders slump, and you drop your hands. You didn’t want to say that out loud, but you didn’t want Stolas to think he was the one doing something wrong. You look down at your hands, ashamed and wishing you could be more confident. More carefree.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “It’s not like I view you like that either. It’s just…the stares. Whenever we go out, people look at us…at me. And I know I shouldn’t care.” You glance up at him, your eyes filled with vulnerability, before looking back down. “But this is all new to me. We’ve hidden this for so long, and…”

You find yourself overwhelmed, so you bury your face in your hands. Your words seem to fail you, and more tears are in your eyes. You look up at Stolas, your hands instinctively reaching for your heart, a silent plea for understanding.

“I do love you, Stolas. More than anything, and I swear to you, I’ll get better at not caring. I don’t want you to think I don’t care because I do. And I don’t doubt your love for me. I don’t think of you as Prince Stolas of the Ars Goetia. I think of you as Stolas and… and I don’t regret going public. I just…Why can’t I make sense?” You cry as you ramble on to yourself. 

You close your eyes as you sob. This was a lot. You typically weren’t one to be so upfront, but you didn’t want to lose Stolas or give him reason to believe that you thought of him a certain way. You suddenly feel hands cradling your face and close your eyes tighter.

“Open your eyes, darling,” he begs. 

You slowly open your eyes to see his, shedding tears. You instinctively reach up to hold his face, too. 

“What a beautiful mess we two are,” he chuckles softly, his laughter echoing with yours. 

You hold each other for a while before he speaks again.

“As long as you know I love you,” he whispers, leaning his head against yours. “Then, we can take on any thought that thinks any different in that silly head of yours.” 

You smile at him as he wipes away your tears. You couldn’t help but believe that together, you’d be able to banish any dark thoughts. But you’d work at it as well. 

Stolas looks at you as he gets out of the bath and stretches his hand for you. You smile at him, placing your hand in his. He pulls you in as he stares down at you lovingly. He repeats his earlier question, which holds the key to your future together.

“Do you believe me now,” he whispers, his voice carrying the weight of his vulnerability and hope.

“From now on, always.”

I'm a little rusty with smut, so I had a little giggle to myself after I finished proofreading! Let me know if y'all enjoyed this!

[nellialu]

Hey! Could you do a Loona x Human Demon Hunter Reader? Sort of like an enemies to lovers type of deal?

Like the reader isn't attached to any sort of organization but they typically hunt demons that reach Earth and even have fought with I.M.P. before but a common enemy or problem brings then together?

If not that's perfectly okay! Regardless, hope you have a wonderful day/night and hope something good happens to you today :)

Haven't Had Enough

Once again, thank you for the request and the patience! The little addition at the end always makes me smile. You guys are so sweet!

When I saw this request, I was super excited to work on it! As I kept writing, though, I was like, what am I yapping about? I don't know how I feel about it, but I hope you enjoy it anon!

Pairing: Loona x Human Demon Hunter Reader

Warnings: Character death, Violence, Mention of Blood, Religious Talk/Prayer

Word Count: 7.1K

The room is almost silent. Your incessant pen clicking is the only noise traveling throughout the room. Your leg is bouncing up and down as you look down at your files. Pictures of all sorts of demons are spread out all over your desk. You sigh as you sort through the finished jobs and those you still need to get done. 

You had made a name for yourself among those who knew what you did. You were the person to call if you had a demon problem on Earth. If you had asked yourself what you wanted to do when you grew up, you would have said something like a teacher or a doctor, but life and death had a funny way of changing things. The first time you killed a demon was when you were 17. 

You were walking back “home” from school when you heard a cry for help. Typically, you would have minded your business, but whoever it was sounded frightened. You suppose the human in you made you look for the scream.

You walked down an alley, and you saw something that was not from Earth. Luckily for you, its back was facing you. Your eyes met the last person you expected, your dad. He was on the floor, and you watched as his eyes shifted to something on the floor by you. You looked down to see a revolver right by your foot. You slowly reached for it. It felt like an eternity before your hand finally made contact with the handgun. You lifted it to aim for whatever that thing was, but you had never shot anything before. Still, you couldn’t just turn away. It could hurt you, and you would be in a worse situation.

You took a breath before pulling down on the trigger. Your eyes widened as the thing dropped to the floor. Your dad laughed hysterically as he got up quickly before walking to the body. He looked back up to you, and you met his stare with wide eyes. He walked over slowly with his hands raised before he stretched out his hand, signaling you to give him the gun. You looked down at the weapon in your hand before handing it over. He sighed as he stayed close by you.

“Nice shot, kid.” He took out a cigarette and lit it. “That has to be the fourth one this month.”

Your head snapped to your dad. 

“Fourth one?! Dad, what was that? Why was it coming for you?” you asked as you tried to steady your shaking hands.

“Demon,” he responded calmly. 

He took another drag of his cigarette before dropping it on the floor and putting it out with his foot. 

“Like from Hell?”

He turned to look at you before laughing. 

“Well, sweetie, they’re not from Heaven.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you watched him turn the demon’s body over. You slowly walked over as you tried to see what he was doing.

“How have you gotten four demons to come after you?” 

He turned to look at you for a while, trying to decide whether you should know the information he had somehow gathered. 

“The line of work I do puts me in a lot of danger, and some demons downstairs don’t like it,” he explains.

He lifts the body as he moves to hide it somewhere less exposed. 

“What do you do, dad?” 

You always thought your dad worked in a cubicle somewhere for some wealthy CEO. You followed behind him and picked up any belongings that fell from the demon. He turned around when he heard you ask for a match. He walked over to the can you were standing at and realized you had thrown the belongings inside. He nodded as he lit it and threw it in the can.

“Demon hunter. I hunt those fuckers that decide to come to Earth and mess with humans. Our lives are shitty enough without some asshole demon coming over and killing us or influencing us,” he said, staring at the fire.

He looked over at you thoughtfully.

“Look, honey, I’d go if I were you. It’s not safe here now. Thanks for saving my skin, but you don’t want to get mixed up in this.”

You nodded as you began turning away, but you stopped. 

“You’re right, though,” you admitted as you turned around. 

He looked at you, confused.

“That demon almost killed you. That’s not fair. Do you think…do you think they can influence people from down there?”

He takes you in as he ponders your question.

“What are you getting at, sweetie?”

“Mom…she died when I was young. I heard rumors that she lived a life led by sin. Drug addict. She didn’t know when to stop. But grandma said momma would never. She said that she would have never left her only child behind. Her husband, neither. She said you’re a good man, Dad. But she said it was like a demon was whispering in her ears, and no one could save her,” you whisper. 

Your dad looked at you with a strange expression. 

“Don’t look at me that way! Could it be that Mom was influenced by a demon?” Your eyes had tears pooled in them.

He looked back into the fire before looking back up at you. 

“Maybe. But sometimes humans don’t need demons to make their lives worse.”

“But like you said, humans don’t need any more problems.” You paused. “I want to do what you do.”

Your dad looks at you before he barks out a laugh. 

“I like your moxie, hon, but I don’t think this will give you what you want.”

You walked up to your dad.

“What are you looking for, Dad? Because I’m not looking for anything. I just want to save someone from a demon whispering in their ear.”

He stares at you for a long time before reaching into his pocket and handing the revolver back to you. 

“Then, you’ll need this.”

You sigh as you finally reach the end of the files. You look up at the picture on your desk, and your eyes land on the framed image of you and your dad. He taught you everything he knew about demons and Hell. He showed you the ropes on how to track down demons and how to dispose of them so no one could tie them back to you. You only wished he had had more time. You glance back at the remaining files, and you groan. Truthfully, you only have to close these last few before leaving the job. 

You lean in, and the sound of pen clicking fills the room again. These demons were going to be the death of you. 

One. Two. Three. Four.

You lay them down from left to right. How could four demons be causing you so much trouble? It should be so simple to take them out, but every time you encounter them, they find a way to evade you. You have to take them down.

It was their fault for making it so personal.

The heavens had opened up today. You couldn’t remember the last time the sky had looked this grey. You wondered if the sky was this grey when your mom died. Or were you the cause of it? Was your love for the man who taught you everything you knew today so great that not even the heavens could handle the sheer strength of your sadness?

“Rest eternal grant unto him, O Lord.

And let light perpetual shine upon him.

May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in piece.

Amen.”

You looked up at the priest and nodded to thank him before he walked away, leaving you alone with the tombstone. He taught you so much. You always thought the job would kill him, but it’s funny how life works—taken by a heart attack. 

“Damn old man,” you mutter as you let out a mirthless laugh before letting yourself fall to the floor. 

“Why did you have to leave me?” 

You stared blankly at the tombstone. You felt guilty, but you were angry that something like a heart attack could take someone away so easily. He had fought demons for so long, and he didn’t even get a fighting chance. It crept up on him. He never even saw it coming. Your fists tighten as you glare up at the sky. 

What was the fucking point?

You take a deep breath and push off the floor to get up. You glance at the tombstone one last time before turning away. You take a couple of steps before you hear a strange noise. The hairs on the back of your neck raise. You see a bench nearby and take off, running towards it to hide behind just in time to see someone stepping out of a portal.

“Alright! This should be easy. This guy is old as shit, so it should be easy to take him out.”

Your eyes widened as you realized that you were looking at a demon. Out of all days. You watched as three more figures stepped out. Your eyebrows furrowed as you watched a human step out with them. You look closely to figure out what is happening but notice their eyes are red. 

You suppress a surprised laugh. The old man was right. They CAN camouflage among humans. But what’s the point if the other three are not disguised? You didn’t have anything with you except a combat blade, but there was no way you could take all four of them on your own. The demons were smaller compared to other demons that you faced, and you were slightly scared that they could do damage to your lower half. The only tall demon was the one who looked human. You strain your ears to try to listen to what they are saying. What were they after?

“Why the hell are we in a cemetery?” 

The same demon that first spoke. Judging by how everyone seemed to follow him, you assumed he had to be in charge. 

“I don’t know, sir. Maybe if you had gotten more information about-”

“Oh, shut up, Moxxie. We didn’t need his whole life story.”

“Loonie’s right. Besides, the grimoire always teleports us close by to the client.”

“Maybe he works here!”

“Exactly, Millie. I’m glad one of you has brains.”

Not a well-oiled machine, it seems. But they did give you what you needed. Names. Moxxie. White hair. White freckles. Millie. Charcoal hair. White markings on arms and tail. Loonie. Can transform to look like a human. You were just missing the first demon’s name. You repeat the information in your head. You were so stuck in your memorization that you almost missed why they were here. 

“Alright, this is going to take forever. It's time to sniff him out, Loona,” the unnamed demons say. 

Alright. Is Loonie a nickname?

“What’s his name again?” Loona asked as she got close to the floor.

What the hell? Almost like a dog. You think back to your lessons. Hellhound? You had never encountered them. Your dad had said it was rare for them to come earthside. 

“Alexander, something. Causing a lot of trouble with some big names or some shit like that,” the demon explained while taking out his phone.

Your entire body goes rigid. You move before you can stop yourself.

“Too little, too late,” you snarled at them.

All four demons turn quickly while brandishing weapons at you.

“Who the fuck are you,” the unnamed demon speaks to you. 

“None of your business, demon.” 

The rain hadn’t stopped. You hoped it masked the tears that were falling down your face. But one look at the demon named Moxxie, and you knew they saw the weakness. You pointed towards the tombstone.

“Is that who you’re looking for?” You asked, a hint of rage peeking through. 

Moxxie is the first to look at the group before walking to the tombstone. You watched as his face read the death date, and he turned to look at you with what you almost believed was sympathy. 

“So we made the trip here to kill some asshole who’s already dead? Nice going, Blitz.” Loona rolls her eyes. 

Your eyes snapped over to her.

“How the hell was I supposed to know he was dead?” 

Blitz. Now you had all their names. 

“He wasn’t an asshole. My father saved so many people by ridding the world of demons like you,” you spit out. 

“Oh shit, your daddy was a demon hunter. He caused quite a stir downstairs, toots,” Blitz says, not even looking a tiny bit interested. 

“He wasn’t the only one.” You bend downwards quickly and remove the combat knife from your ankle sheath.

“Do you think that’s the best idea? We don’t have to kill you,” Loona says while she rolls her eyes at you when you aim the knife at her.

“You were going to kill him had he not been dead. No remorse. No mercy. Why should I give you that?”

Your voice breaks on the last word. Damn these tears. 

“Sir, maybe we should head ba-“

“No, no. I want to see what they plan to do here, Mox. Supposed to be a tough little demon hunter, and all I see  is a spineless-“

“B, Mox is right. The client is dead,” Millie says while walking over to Loona. 

“No! You’re all dying here, even if it kills me.” You yell. 

“Do we, though?” Loona asks, opening the book in her hand.

“Yes,” you take a step forward. “It was sin that took my momma away. I saw it too late, but my dad was right. Vengeance consumed us. And it didn’t fix the broken in me. It didn’t help anyone. Instead, everyone saw my downfall. A straight-A student who wouldn’t amount to anything because no one could know what I would grow up to be. A lonely child that grew up in a home that was empty because their father lost his damn mind trying to punish what he believed took his wife away. I don’t have anything anymore. No one will mourn for me.” 

You take a breath and a moment to look at all of them. Their eyes are wide before they glance at each other. Loona looked lost in thought. 

“I’m sorry,” Moxxie says first.

“I’m surprised you can feel sorry, hellspawn,” you force out.

“Alright, well, now that we’re done with that melodrama, we can go back,” Blitz says, walking towards a purple portal.

When the hell did that open? You couldn’t let them leave. You instinctively lift your hand and throw the combat blade directly at Blitz. It all happens so fast. Loona manages to yank him out of the way, and they all turn to look at you. 

“Well, I was going to be nice and let you go, but now you’ve pissed me off,” Blitz says, reaching into his coat. 

You had no weapons. Nothing. You didn’t wait to see what he would take out. You run. You dodge when you hear shots. It goes on for a while. But one thing you learned was how to evade them. They’re on your turf. 

No one would be dying today. 

You groan as you lean back in your chair. Why didn’t you have more on you that day? You live such a dangerous life. You should have known that something would come the day you were mourning your dad. 

You learned a bit more about them after the funeral. You knew they were imps. Your dad had mentioned them before, but he had never seen them. Just like hellhounds, they weren’t seen topside. You figured they were born in hell, but getting the confirmation was good for your library of information. 

You learned a lot from running into them more times after the funeral. You’d almost leave the exchange on death's door some days. On other days, one of theirs would. It was becoming a game, and you hated it. This had to end. 

You look at the file at the end of the table. Loona. Your fist clenches. Her attitude whenever you would find them again was enough for the rage to build up. The audacity she had to look and behave like a human was absurd. She passed the part. She might get the occasional stare because of the goth look, but she wasn’t bad-looking…for a demon. Because that’s what she was. The thing you hunt. Because she’s a demon. Not a human. 

You shake your head as you slam her file closed. You weren’t going to get any work done. Out of the entire group, she got your blood boiling the fastest. You shove all the files for this group in the top cabinet of your desk before slamming it shut. 

You get up to stretch before walking out of the office. Luckily, you work from home, so you just had to walk a few steps to relax. You look outside the window, and the sky is filled with hues of pink. It’ll be dark soon. You yawn and decide that your earlier meal (which was pretty heavy) would suffice until tomorrow morning. You walk to your front door and ensure it’s locked, as well as all the windows. 

You head to your bedroom and let yourself fall onto your bed. It only takes a couple of minutes before sleep overtakes you.

~~

You jolt awake. Your hand rests on top of your heart. What the hell? You blink tiredly as you look at the time—3:00 AM. You roll your eyes. You relax as you look around your room. Nothing is out of the ordinary. What the hell woke you up? 

You strain your ears, but you don’t hear anything. You shake your head before lying down when you hear something. You sit up quickly. There was someone in your house. How did they get in? You slowly get up and walk towards your window. 

You have options. You could jump out the window or face the intruder. You peek over the window and see someone you didn’t want to see—your ex. 

Why the fuck is he-? 

You turn back to your door. It’s locked. You take quick breaths as you realize he must be tracking something down. You remember the day you broke up with him. You never thought you would, and you still didn’t fully comprehend what led you to do what you did that day.

You hide behind a pillar of the abandoned mall. You make eye contact with your boyfriend, who is a couple of feet away, hiding behind another pillar.

“Mal, give me the signal, and we’ll go in fast,” you whisper to him. 

He nods at you before counting down with his fingers. You reach for your gun, and you await for all his fingers to go down. When he does, you leave to find the demons you were hunting cornered. 

You let Mal walk ahead as he smiles at the demons before him. It’s two of them. You hadn’t gotten a good look at them, but you knew you shot one of them before the chase started. 

“Please, we were here by mistake. We don’t mean to harm you. We fell into a portal,” the demon facing us exclaimed.

“Right, 'cause a demon like you doesn’t want to hurt us,” your boyfriend mocks. 

“I swear it, I-“ 

The demon next to him falls to the floor, and he follows him down.

“Please, I can’t lose him. We know where the portal is. We’ll get it closed. Please just let us go,” the demon spoke. 

Your hands lower slightly. Was this sympathy? 

“Aww, is the little demon scared of losing his demon boyfriend? It’s not like you can love,” your boyfriend says, walking menacingly around them.

The demon turns to look at you. Your eyes widen. Sadness. His eyes. You look down at the demon in his arms and see him struggling to keep his eyes open.

“You’ll never see us again. We won’t ever come back to Earth. Just please.” He begs.

You hesitate. 

“Please,” he sobs.

“Alright, enough of this. Time to kill these demon scum. We have a reservation,” your boyfriend says while winking at you.

He raises his gun. Suddenly, it’s like your voice no longer belongs to you. No longer controlled by logic. Only sympathy.

“Wait!” you yell as you step in front of the gun. 

“What? Did you want to do it?” your boyfriend asks.

You look back at the demons hidden behind you—their protection from impending doom. 

“No, I-“ you clear your throat. “Let’s let them go.”

Your boyfriend barks out a laugh. 

“You’re kidding, right?” He reaches out for your shoulders. “Babe, they’re from Hell. They don’t actually give a fuck about each other. They only know evil. They took away your mom. Hell, they took away your dad in a way. Your dad wanted revenge, so he took it out on every demon in his path, and he brought you along for the ride, but he didn’t care about you.” 

Your eyes tear up as you contemplate his words before you feel a hand grabbing yours. You turn to look at the demon.

“I’m so sorry you’re in pain—more than anything. We're from Hell because we were born there, but it doesn’t mean we can’t love, that we can’t feel. And you know what I feel right now? Fear. Love. Sympathy. Demon hunters killed my parents. But they did wrong. They hurt humans. I loved my parents, but I couldn’t do what they did. You don’t have to do what you think you have to do. You don’t have to let it consume you.”

You sob as you harshly pull your hand away from the demon. He widens his eyes as he leans away from you. You turn to look at your boyfriend, who is smirking.

“See, babe? They just wasted our time. He’ll say anything to get out of this situation.” 

You had to make a choice soon. The other demon didn’t seem to be doing too well. You turn to look at your boyfriend.

“We’re letting them leave. We hunt demons who intentionally hurt people. We saw them fall through that portal. We shot on sight.” 

“Yeah, because they would have killed people if we didn’t. What is going on with you? Where is the cold-blooded demon hunter that your dad raised? If he loved anyone, it was that version of you.”

You clench your fist.

“My dad was a heartbroken man, but he loved me. He didn’t want me to do this with my life, but I was angry. I blamed everyone for my life, but he was right. Humans don’t need demons to fuck up their lives. We do it ourselves. I could have walked away. He allowed me to walk away. And I’m taking it today. I hope we both do.” 

Your boyfriend stares at you for a while.

“So this is it? I’m going to have to take you down?” He raises his gun slightly. 

“Are you serious?” You stare at the gun before looking back up at him.

“I know what’s right, and I can’t let someone stop me from completing it. Even you.” He says as he walks closer to the demons.

You shift, so you protect them with your body.

“You act as if you don’t do terrible things, Malvolio. You’ve broken my heart way more times than I wish to admit. But you’ve also lied, and you’ve stolen, and you’ve killed. And you always blame it on demons. When does it become your fault?” 

His stare hardens. 

“Move,” he snarls. 

“No,” you stand upright.

“You bitch, I will fucking-“ 

You push him hard, and his head collides with the wall behind him. You gasp as you quickly place two fingers on his neck. A heartbeat. He’s just knocked out. You turn to the demons.

“We have to hurry. I’ll carry him to the portal, but you must do the rest after, okay?” 

The demon looks hesitantly at you before nodding. You pick the demon up, and you run back to the portal. Once you get there, you hand the demon back to his partner.

“Thank you. For believing me,” the demon says before walking into the portal. It instantly closes. Strange. 

There was so much anger in his eyes. Was that the same anger in yours? Your head snaps back to your bedroom door as you hear rushed whispers. You have to see what he’s hunting. You get up, and you grab the bat by your door. You started using a lot less permanent approaches to your weapons. Just enough to harm but not necessarily kill right away. Still, you had your gun on you, just in case.

You open the door, and you see a light in your office. Damn it. You walk slowly and shove open the door, ready to hit something, only to find the room in disarray. There’s a lot of blood on the floor, and you recognize the demons in the room. You stare at each one of them.

Blitz.

Millie.

And Loona.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you say as you raise your bat.

“Damn it, Blitz,” you hear Millie cry before you realize that she’s holding someone in her lap.

Moxxie.

You feel your arm falter a bit. 

“Take one step closer bitch, and I won’t hesitate to- “ A whine is heard, and Blitz turns to look at Loona. “Loonie, maybe you should sit.”

You turn to look at Loona, and you realize she’s bleeding.

“Ugh, I’m fine, Blitz. We need to get out of here.” Loona tries to attack you, but you easily dodge.

You realize she will fall forward and instinctively reach for her hand to pull her back. You end up face to face before you push her towards Blitz’s direction.

“Watch it,” Blitz snarls as Loona lands in his arms. 

You raise your arms in surrender before your eyebrows furrow. What are you doing? You could take them out right now. But this was all too familiar. You hear a loud noise come from outside, and you turn to look at Blitz and Millie. 

How could someone look at them and think love doesn’t exist? Loona isn’t as badly hurt, but Blitz holds onto her as if she might perish in the next moment, which might be true for Moxxie—damn having a heart. 

Sorry dad. 

You rush to a secret pad in your office and quickly type in numbers.

“As much as I would fucking love to end this right now and have one of us die, that guy out there is more ruthless than I am. He might kill me, too.” You walk over to get their files from the drawer. “So, let's go.” 

A door in your office opens—a panic room. 

“Why the fuck should we trust you?” Blitz questions. 

When the hell did he take his gun out?

“Don’t. I don’t care. Shoot me right now. It won’t stop him. Try to use me as a pawn. It won’t matter. You’re dying if you stay here.”

You walk over to Millie and Moxxie. Millie gets defensive as she clenches her fist. You stop walking before dropping down. You make eye contact with Moxxie. 

“You looked at me with sympathy the day my father died. You told Blitz you should leave. Both of you did. And I was blinded by my hatred and my sadness. ” You look at Millie, who lowers her guard a bit. “Let me carry him. I’ll put him down the moment we enter the room. A truce. For now.” 

You extend your hand to Millie, who looks afraid to take it. She looks down at Moxxie, but he’s staring at you. He reaches out and takes your hand. You glance at Millie, and she nods at you. You quickly take Moxxie in your arms before turning to Blitz and Loona.

“Are you good to walk?” 

Loona looks away angrily. You roll your eyes.  

“Hell, can you lose the attitude for one fucking minute? You were shot in the leg. I was able to dodge you. That’s not normal for our usual fights.” 

“Well, when I have to keep up the disguise during a stressful moment for a long time, it takes a lot out of me.”

You’re about to respond before you hear your door being kicked in. 

“Shit,” you whisper before tugging Loona off the floor. 

Blitz gets defensive, and he looks like he might attack.

“Fucking chill and close the door softly,” you say as you put Loona’s arm around your neck so she can lean on you. 

When he sees that you only plan to help, he quickly hurries to the door and lightly closes it, but it still makes a noise. Loona winces beside you. 

“Let’s go!” 

You all try to run into the panic room and quickly hand Moxxie over to Millie. You carefully remove Loona’s hand before walking to the door and pushing it closed. You look up before closing it entirely and make eye contact with your ex. He immediately shoots, and you gasp as it misses you by a bit. You shove the door closed before falling backward. 

You shake your head as you hear Millie’s cries—first aid. You walk to the corner of the room, grabbing materials. You hope this works on demons. 

“Blitz,” you turn around to toss first aid materials. “Do you know how to use those?” 

He looks at you before nodding. You nod back before heading over to Moxxie. Millie is a lot more willing to have you close to them. 

“Alright. Considering we're different, I’m unsure if this will help you, but I can at least stop the bleeding.”

After a while, you manage to stop the bleeding and get Moxxie to sit upright with Millie beside him, holding his hand. You’re about to walk away to check on Loona and Blitz when Millie speaks.

“Thank you for saving him. You could have killed us when our guards were down, but you didn’t,” Millie says as she gives you a soft smile.

You awkwardly give one back before looking at Moxxie. He still looks like shit, but he seems better.

“You said we’re not the same, but here we are,” Moxxie touches his heart. 

You cough as you back away and turn to look at Blitz, sitting by the door as if guarding it. You look at Loona and realize she’s reading the files you grabbed from the room.

You sit next to her and grab the file closest to you, Moxxie’s. You look back at him before ripping the file in half. Loona stares at you as you reach for the following file: Millie. You rip it into two. You hesitate on Blitz, which gets a chuckle out of her. You give her a lopsided smile before ripping it. You look at the file in her hands—her own.

“How did you know I was a hellhound?”

Loona asked, looking away. She sounded angry, but there was a lingering emotion there. Embarrassment.

“You sniffed the ground the first time I saw you. I just figured, though the confirmation is appreciated,” you chuckle.

She snarls at you before she goes back to reading.

“Hot but in like an annoying way?” Loona reads aloud, and your head snaps to the file.

You feel your face flush. Loona laughs at your reaction. 

“Got something over you now,” she smirks.

“Alright, what human wouldn’t drool over you like this,” you ask defensively. 

You notice a shift in her as the smirk drops. 

“If only other demons thought that about what I actually look like,” she mutters.

Her face turns red. 

“I mean because demons aren’t fans of the goth look. Yeah, the goth look,” she rambles. 

You raise your eyebrows. You realize that in all the time you’ve been chasing them, she’s always been in her human form.

“You don’t have to keep appearances in here.”

She laughs mirthlessly.

“Right, because a human like you isn’t going to judge.” 

You both awkwardly sit in the silence as it stretches. How badly assumptions can hurt. And if you’re only ever around people who share those same assumptions, like your dad or your ex, then it might as well be your reality. 

“I won’t. Do what you want. I won’t force you to. I’m just giving you the option,” you say as you stand up. 

You look over to see Blitz by Moxxie and Millie. Moxxie seems much better, and you feel a weight on your shoulder lift. You hear a slight whoosh and turn your head back to Loona to see her in hellhound form. You’re about to comment when you hear a beep. Your head snaps to the green light by the door, and you can’t do anything as it slams open. 

Your ex walks in, and he looks crazed. It’s slightly terrifying. He spoke of it consuming you, but it seemed you weren’t the one who had to worry.

“We used to share our lives. Didn’t you know I would guess your password eventually? Didn’t dear daddy tell you not to be so sentimental when you’re a demon hunter,” your ex says, venom laced in his words.

“Oh, but if only dear dead daddy could see you now. Protecting the very thing that took your mom away. The thing he swore to kill on sight,” he says as he takes slow steps into the room.

It was menacing.

“But he didn’t,” you whisper. 

“What was that?”

“He never swore that. He would have stopped if he felt sympathy for them like I did. I am my dad’s daughter. I know he would have shown mercy, too.” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? They are demons. You threw us away for two of them. Me! Who you had known for a year. All of it is down the drain. But it’s okay. I’m stronger without your emotional bullshit. Your pity or whatever the fuck it is you feel for them. And now I’ll be the one to end you all.”

He raises his gun facing Loona, and he pulls the trigger. You don’t even think. You just do. You hear another gunshot as your body jerks back. You watch as your ex falls to the floor, a bullet hole on his forehead. 

You clutch your heart before pulling away and seeing blood. You cough, and more blood comes out. You fall, and you feel someone catch you. 

You close your eyes as breathing starts getting tricky. You feel warmth dripping out of your mouth. You open your eyes to see everyone around you, their lips moving, but you can’t hear clearly. It’s all muted, like a movie. You feel pressure on your chest. God, it hurts. You cough on a particular push, and blood splatters a bit.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“Shut the hell up,” Loona barks.

Why is she so angry?

“I’m sorry for chasing you for so long.” 

“Damn it, stop talking! You’re using energy,” Loona says before attempting to cover your mouth, but you cough up more blood.

“Was I evil?” You pause. “I never wanted to become evil,” you cry as tears blind you.

It’s silent for a long time. You blink away the tears to the best of your ability to see that everyone’s stopped. It was all in vain, after all. A gunshot to the heart does that to you. 

You feel a pair of hands on your own and see Millie and Moxxie there. 

“No,” you hear Loona say. 

You slowly look up at her. What was it you wanted to tell her? 

“You were just human,” she says a bit harshly. 

You laugh, and you see her smile slightly before it turns to concern as you begin choking on the blood rising. You spit out as much as possible, but you feel your vision darkening. 

“Where now,” you whisper.

“This isn’t over, dumbass,” you hear before darkness envelops you.

~~

It’s been a week since you died. It really shouldn’t have surprised you that you would end up in Hell, but it was. You thought killing demons would surely get you into Heaven, but after reflecting, you had done other sketchy stuff along the way. 

Still, you aren’t sure if you want to stay. You have seen commercials of a location that focuses on rehabbing sinners and are heavily considering visiting. You wondered if your being here meant that your dad was as well. Or had you taken a darker path?

You sigh as you walk down the street. Truthfully, it feels like being alive. Sure, some people are a bit more malicious, but for the most part, you just have to watch yourself and what’s happening around you. You can’t lie, though. When you first opened your eyes to a red sky, you became terrified at the idea of demons knowing who you were or what you did while you were alive. But you hadn’t encountered that. 

You look down at your new phone as you try to figure out all the apps Hell offers. Similar to Earth. You continue to walk while looking down at your phone before you almost fall over someone. You shift slightly so you don’t fall on top of them, making you fall hard on the floor.  

“Ow, fuck.” You realize you scraped your elbow. 

You pay no attention to the stranger since you don’t want to start a conflict, but they call your attention.

“You’re here?” 

Your eyes snap up to the demon before you, only to be met with Moxxie. You look down at the ground, suddenly feeling ashamed, so many years hunting down demons only to end up in the same place. 

“Uh, yeah. I have to go,” you say as you quickly get up. 

Before you can get too far, Moxxie stops you.

“Wait, can you come with me? Your skills might work for something.”

You look at him, confused, and you want to bolt. What did he mean by that?

“How far away do you want to take me?”

You look up as he points at the building you are currently next to. Huh. You had passed by this building so many times. 

“Fine,” you sigh as he smiles and leads you inside. 

You enter the building, and the ride up the elevator is silent before he speaks again.

“Thanks again. For saving me. I don’t know why you did it, but Millie and I are grateful,” he says while he holds the elevator door open for you.

You nod as you step out and follow him to a door. 

“IMP Headquarters?” 

You stop to study the sign on the door. Moxxie stands by you.

“It stands for Immediate Murder Professionals, and you know…” Moxxie trails off. 

“You’re an imp,” you chuckle. “Nice.” 

He smiles at you before opening the door. For some reason, you didn’t realize that he was leading you back to the people who watched you die until he opened the door. You freeze at the door as your eyes land on Millie and Loona, who are in the central area. Is it too late to run? 

“You can come in,” Moxxie tells you, alerting the other two to your presence.

Millie looks over at you, confused, before recognition crosses her expression. Her face brightens up. 

“It’s you!” 

You awkwardly rub the back of your neck as you wave. This is so strange. You have been trying to kill them for years, and now, because of one instance, they warmed up to you?  You turn to look at Loona, who is staring at you, before looking back at her phone. 

“Nice to see you, too,” you say to her, only for her to flip you off. 

“What’s all the noise- Oh shit, look who came to visit,” Blitz says as he steps out from the office he is in. 

“I found them outside, and I think they could fit in with their skills,” Moxxie says as he stands beside Millie.

“Uhh, what?” Both you and Blitz say at the same time. 

“I’m sorry, they spent most of their life hunting things from Hell, and now you think they’re going to join our team to go kill people on Earth,” Loona questions while staring at Moxxie. 

“That would make me like the biggest hypocrite,” you say as you ponder what Moxxie said. 

“You’re in hell, toots. That doesn’t matter anymore. You’ll be here forever; you might as well make money from it.” Blitz says, intrigued by the idea of another employee.

You turn to look at Loona and find her already staring at you.

“What do you think?” You ask her. 

“I don’t care,” she responds, rolling her eyes. 

You walk over to her and place one hand on the desk while looking down at her.

“Can I have her job? I can be real friendly.” 

Loona stands, and it becomes her turn to stare down at you.

“Watch it,” she growls. 

You are so close to her. You can see her face is slightly flushed, and you smirk. The blush deepens, and you two continue staring at each other for a moment before Blitz speaks again.

“Uh, no. But you can accept the offer to become an assassin.” 

You look back at Blitz and contemplate the offer. What else is there left to do? There was never a point. You shrug.

“Fuck it, sure.” 

Blitz goes off on a tangent as Millie and Moxxie come up to congratulate you. How quickly their view of you changed. You’re sure it’ll come up someday when they’re angry at you. Everyone splits off as Blitz tells you that you can start tomorrow. He goes back to his office, and you look at Loona. 

“What the fuck do you want,” she asks.

Oh, this is going to be fun. 

“Nothing,” you smirk before turning to head out.

“Whatever,” she says as she turns away from you.

“Oh!” You turn back and lean in slightly as she leans back into her chair. “What was it you said? ‘This isn’t over?’”

Your hand lightly touches her, and she looks down quickly before looking back. You clear your throat as you stand up straight, returning to walk out the door.

You turn back once more to wave goodbye to Millie and Moxxie before you look at Loona again and smirk when you find her in the same position, except she’s staring at you. You know you’re both about to make your jobs another hell based on her hard stare, but you’ve always loved a challenge.

“Can’t wait for my first day on the job.”

I think this is my longest work so far!

[nellialu]

this actually sucks because what do you mean I have to go on with my day after watching that episode? like what do you mean I can’t just stay in bed and cry?

I’ve been sitting here for like 10 minutes just scrolling through everyone posting the same sad clips so I can cry the same sad tears.

[nellialu]

just finished Full Moon. I might need 8-10 business days before I continue writing or functioning at all tbh.

[nellialu]

I'll Be Seeing You

✯ Chapter 1 ✯ Chapter 2 ✯ Chapter 3 ✯

Once again, thank you all for your patience while waiting for this new chapter. As for requests, if you've sent one in, I've seen it, and there isn't a single one I don't plan on writing. All I ask for is some time!

Pairing: Fizzarolli x Reader*

Warning: Cursing, Yelling

Word Count: 6.5K

You hear the beeping before you even open your eyes. A heartbeat. 

Your heartbeat. 

You feel a dull pain on the side of your head, and you remember your head colliding with the wall. You’re surprised you didn’t pass out immediately after. You remember Prince Stolas, and he was with someone. 

You open your eyes, and it takes a bit for your eyesight to get back to normal. Your eyes immediately land on the only other thing in the room with you. Prince Stolas. You hesitantly look around the room, but a small part of you hopes Blitz is also here. 

He’s not. 

You sigh as you look toward the stand closest to the bed and notice a bouquet of sunflowers. Your smile brightens as you take a single flower, close your eyes, and breathe in its scent. 

You look up from sweeping when you hear loud laughter approaching the entrance of the main tent. Your smile instantly appears as you try to quickly finish sweeping so you can hang out with Blitzo and Fizz. Your head snaps as you hear someone bark their name, and you feel your shoulders sag as you realize it's Cash. 

“Great,” you whisper as you start walking to a little section in the main tent where all the cleaning supplies (which wasn’t a lot) are kept. 

You figure that Cash wants them to rehearse, so you now have time to kill. You could go out alone, but it wouldn’t be as fun. Plus, after the last time you went out, you aren’t sure if this area is safe for walking alone. As you got older, people got weirder. 

You reach the center of the circus tent and let out an audible sigh before looking forward, your back towards the entrance. The lights are still on, and for a moment, you are someone greater—you were someone. You look directly into the spotlight and allow yourself to smile, bask in the feeling, in dreams. 

“Looks like they won’t need us tonight, Fizz.”

Your eyes snap open, and your head turns to where the voice originated. You smile as you completely face your friends. 

“I heard your dad calling you! I thought you guys were going to get held up tonight,” you say as you walk over to them. 

“Nah. He found out that I’ve been stealing his booze,” Blitzo says as he looks around the tent. “You done for the night?”

You nod excitedly before looking at Fizz, slightly tilting your head.

“You good, Fizz?” 

You could tell he was deep in thought. You look over at Blitzo, and he just shrugs. You walk over to Fizz and lightly tap your finger against his forehead.

“Hello? Hell to Fizz? Are you there?” you ask as Fizz looks at you surprised.

“Huh?” 

“Are you okay,” you ask with a bit more concern. 

“Yeah,” you raise your eyebrow at him. “No, really.  I messed up my act tonight, and we had important people in the audience tonight.”

He looks so sad. 

“Fizz, it wasn’t a big deal. If they can’t see past a tiny mistake, it’s on them. More for us,” Blitzo says while putting his arms around Fizz’s shoulder. 

“Blitzo is right, Fizz. Don’t worry about it,” you smile as you reach for his hand and squeeze it lightly. 

You notice a slight blush on his cheeks. Was that there before or after you grabbed his hand? You try to fight off a blush at the idea of him blushing at you holding his hand, but you feel your face warm. Blitzo looks at you and raises an eyebrow, and you decide to speak before he can say anything. 

“On that note, I have something for you boys,” you say as you drop Fizz’s hand. 

“A present,” Blitzo says excitedly.

He begins to walk towards you, but you raise your finger at him, signaling him to stay, which he follows. 

“Hmm, yes? It’s not a big thing,” you say as you walk behind the bleachers, retrieving the two bouquets. 

You stay behind the bleachers briefly as you try to calm your racing heart. You should have gotten them the same flowers. 

“I knew you both had important people in the audience tonight, and I knew you would kill it like you always do. Still, I wanted to get you guys a little something to celebrate!” 

You walk out from under the bleachers with the bouquets. One of the bouquets has sunflowers, and the other has red tulips. Fizz and Blitzo look surprised.

“That’s all?” Blitzo asks, and Fizz smacks him on the arm as your smile falters slightly. “I mean, thanks. Red is my favorite color.”

Oh, Satan. 

“Umm…actually, the sunflowers reminded me of you, Blitzo,” you say awkwardly as you hand them over to Blitzo. 

“Why,” Blitzo questions.

“Well, yellow is a happy and joyful color, and that’s all I want for you. A life of joy for one of my best friends,” you beam at him. 

Of course, you knew what sunflowers meant but didn’t want to go too into details.

“Oh,” Blitzo rubs the back of his neck, “thanks.”

Blitzo walks off to the side with his bouquet. He seemed to be admiring them. Has he ever gotten flowers before? Your attention turns to Fizz, who walks closer to you. He smiles softly, and you feel the butterflies in your stomach start up again. Get it together.

“And for you, Fizz, I got red tulips,” you say, and you quickly hand them to him. 

He looks down at the flowers before bringing them up to his nose. He looks back at you with the sweetest look you’ve ever seen. 

“Hello?” Fizz asks.

You furrow your eyebrows.

“Huh?” 

Fizz removes the bouquet from his face.

“I asked what red tulips mean,” he giggles.

You feel your heartbeat stop. You can't tell him and risk looking like a complete idiot. What were you supposed to say? ‘Yeah, Fizz. For the past few years, I’ve developed strong feelings for you. The kind of feelings that ruin friendships because you’re you and I’m me. But I love you in all the ways a person could love someone else, which will remain true even when you inevitably reject me.’ That wasn’t going to cut it. No, you had to make up some stupid meaning or deflect. You clear your throat as you look at the ground.

“I’m not a flower expert, Fizz, but I got red tulips for you because they are bold. And everyone loves red flowers,” you explained. 

“Oh,” Fizz says as he looks back at the flowers.

Now, it looks like you’re disinterested. He looks up at you with a bright smile as he takes a single tulip from the bouquet. 

“Well, then, it looks like you need one, too,” Fizz says, handing the flower to you.

Your hands slightly touch, and both of your cheeks flush. You’re about to respond before Blitzo speaks.

“I’m not giving you any of mine,” Blitzo says as he walks towards you both.

You and Fizz look at each other before breaking into laughter.

A month before you ran. You were 17. You open your eyes to see a drop on one of the petals. It’s becoming a regular thing to not even feel the tears as they start spilling. You wipe away your tears, still looking at the flowers. Could it have been Blitz? 

“You’re awake,” you snap your head to Prince Stolas, sitting more upright in his chair. 

“Yes,” you pause. “How long have I been…asleep?”

The prince looks at you curiously. 

“It’s only been a day. Does it feel like it’s been longer?”

You ponder on his question. In all honesty, time didn’t cross your mind. All you knew was that you passed out on the street, and you woke up on this hospital bed.

“No, the opposite, actually,” you say while looking back at him.

This was awkward. Might as well get apologies out of the way.

“Listen-”

“I-” 

You both look at each other as you interrupt one another. You feel a half smile appear on your face as the prince lets out a chuckle. 

“You first,” the prince gestures to you. 

“Thank you, your highness. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior at the club. I intruded on a royal’s space. Not only that, but on a royal already on a date,” you blurt out, your cheeks flushing. 

You glance up at the prince to see his shocked expression before he starts laughing. You raise your eyebrows as your cheeks heat up. Well, this is humiliating. 

“...I was serious,” you awkwardly state as you hug yourself to self-comfort.

Noticing your sincerity, the prince stops his laughter, but there is still a trace of joy in his eyes. 

“There is nothing to apologize for, dear. It was barely even a kiss. Still, if it’ll make you feel better, consider it forgiven and forgotten,” he smiles at you. 

“Thank you, Your Highness,” you smile softly at him.

“Oh, there is no need for formalities. You can call me Stolas,” he says, maintaining eye contact.

You couldn’t decipher his gaze. He is trying to study you, but you couldn’t grasp why. 

“Thank you, Stolas. Now, I believe you wanted to say something as well?”  

“Ahh, yes. Well, I noticed you saw the flowers Blitzy and I brought you.” 

You raise your eyebrows at the nickname, and you can’t help the little smirk that appears on your face. You cough to play it off when you notice Stolas’ face blush.

“Yes, did you choose them out?" 

Part of you felt you knew the answer, but it might have been coincidental. There was a slight chance that Stolas liked sunflowers, and Blitz didn’t remember the flowers you got him all those years ago.

“No, it was Blitz! After they took you in, Blitzy and I walked around the area to find food when he suddenly paused in front of a flower stand. I recommended that we bring you back flowers, and he hesitantly agreed before reaching out for that bouquet. Why do you ask?”

So it was Blitz. You look down at the flower and feel a pang in your chest. Damn it. How was this your life? You were supposed to disappear. You weren’t supposed to run into either of them and now here you were, consumed by guilt. You try to fight back tears, but some of them slip out. You quickly wipe your eyes before looking back up at Stolas. He seems a bit curious but a lot more concerned.

“I’m sorry, your- Stolas. I’m sure by now you know that Blitz and I have a history,” you say as Stolas raises his eyebrows. “NOT LIKE- history like we essentially grew up together.”

The owl laughs at your panic to correct yourself before calming down.

“Yes, I tried to ask him about it, but he didn’t want to talk about it…at least not with me,” he says, observing your reaction. 

All your defenses are down, so he was probably able to see the panic in your face. 

“I don’t know what happened between you and Blitz, but he was hurt tonight,” he says, looking down at his hands. 

You furrow your eyebrows. 

“Because I ran again?” you whisper. 

Stolas looks up at you again, quietly taking you in. 

“Hm. That’s a question that’s better suited for Blitz, dear. He acted quickly when he saw you shoved against the wall, though.”

You sigh as you look down at the sunflower. One talk. That’s all you had to do. You clear your throat before speaking.

“Um, the club is closed every Monday to give all the musicians a break. Around the time I first got hired, I was given a key to practice in the space, and the boss kind of forgot about it. I don’t have contact with Blitz, but could you tell him if he wants to talk…” you pause. “Tell him I want to talk with him if he lets me.”

You look at Stolas, who seems satisfied. 

“I don’t doubt you’ll make up for running this time, but we both know Blitz. How do I convince him that you mean it?” Stolas asks. 

Your heart doesn’t know how to feel anymore. 

“Tell him I swear it,” you assure him. 

Stolas takes a moment to look at you before nodding. He sticks around a bit more, making conversation. You get to learn more about his relationship with Blitz, and Stolas learns more about how you know Blitz. Eventually, Stolas leaves, leaving you with the sunflower in your hand.

You are going to see Blitz again—your old friend. 

You swore it.

“Do you swear it,” Blitzo asks.

He looks scared. 

“Blitzo, of course I do. You’re my best friend. Nothing will ever change that,” you whisper.

Both of you had slipped away from Blitzo’s dad after he made Fizz go practice for the show later on. Children shouldn’t be working so hard. They also shouldn’t be tossed aside for someone else, especially on their birthdays. 

“You turn 12 today, and I’m still with you. In 10 years, when you turn 22, I’ll be there with you. And when you turn 32 and 42,” you whisper as you spread your hands wider and wider. 

Blitzo chuckles as he lightly punches your arm before his expression turns slightly sad again.

“So, you want to be my friend too? Not just Fizz’s? Not just because I’m friends with Fizz?” 

“Blitzooo! Of course not,” you say as you hug him tightly. “Sometimes I feel like you’re the only one who understands what it’s like to be who I am. Someone in someone else’s shadow. You’re stuck with me.”

You feel Blitzo hug you tighter as you stay in this position for a little longer before he lets go. He asks you one more time.

“Do you swear it? A real friend?”

“Yes, Blitzo.”

“Say it. It only means something if you say the words.”

You roll your eyes as you grab his face.

“I swear it.”

I swear it. 

~~

You sigh as you take another sip of your drink. Part of the reason why you wanted to talk at the club was because of all the alcohol. Still, you weren’t trying to get drunk to the point where you might say too much. You aren’t about to just confess everything to him. At most, you would apologize for hurting him by leaving abruptly. If he asks why, you would make up a reason, Maybe one that wasn’t as selfish as the real reason. 

It was getting later and later, and there was still no sign of Blitz. To be fair, you didn’t specify a time, but it was getting closer to 12 AM, and you had been sitting there since 6 PM. You practiced your repertoire of songs, and that took you until about 8 PM. You don’t know how much longer you could wait. Your heart feels like it could give out at any second because of your emotions. What if he had come before 6 PM and nobody was here? What if he thought you flaked? Thought you ran? 

You sigh as you run your hand through your hair before resting your head on your arm. The clock shows that it’s 12 AM. 

Over and over, I keep going over the world we knew

Once when you walked beside me

That inconceivable, that unbelievable world we knew

When we two were in…

Your singing fades out as you sit up and drink the rest of your drink in one gulp. 

“Sorry, Blitz, but I guess you’re used to it,” you whisper as you gather your stuff. 

You walk towards the club entrance and open the door, almost hitting someone with the door. 

Blitz.

He looks surprised as he just stares at your face. Then, he looks down at your hand with the keys, and in a split second, you see anger overtake his expression. Oh dear. 

“Were you about to fucking leave?”

You flinch slightly. This was going to be a long night, wasn’t it? Why couldn’t you just wait a couple more minutes? Might as well be honest.

“I didn’t know if you were going to show,” you explain softly.

“Oh, you didn’t know if I was going to show,” he spits out. 

There was no use in fighting with him, especially if you would be talking for a while. Plus, he did have more of a point.

“Sorry Blitzo- Blitz. Come in,” you say as you move back into the club, holding the door open for him.

You mentally smack yourself for calling him by his old name. You’ve seen his commercial, and you are aware that he’s been calling himself Blitz. Even though you never thought you would see him again, you tried to get used to the change. And here you are already fucking up. 

He heads straight to the bar, and you can’t help the tiny smile on your face as you follow him. He walks behind the bar and grabs a bottle before stepping back around to sit at the counter. You decide to stand behind the counter, across from him, so you don’t get too comfortable. 

“Am I going to be expected to pay for this?” Blitz asks while he takes a swig. 

You shake your head quickly. 

“No, I owe you for the other night,” you explain as you choose a drink that’s more fruity tasting than alcoholic. 

“You owe me a lot more than alcohol,” he mumbles as he takes another angry swig of the drink.

“Yeah,” you reply awkwardly.

The silence is tense. You don’t even know where to start.

“Are we just going to sit here staring at each other because I did enough of that the other night,” Blitz demands. 

“Satan, give me a minute Blitz. I don’t even know where to start,” you say, trying not to get angry. 

“I’ve given you more than a damn minute. Try a couple of fucking years!” Blitz exclaims. 

“I know Blitz! Do you think I wear the locket as a fashion statement!?” 

You wince as you feel a dull pang in your head, and you close your eyes. You were released from the hospital two days ago, and they mentioned that you should avoid loud noises or making loud noises. The bar is silent as you try to will the pang away. It wasn’t the first time this had happened since you’d been released, so you knew it would disappear shortly. 

“...Are you okay,” you hear Blitz ask. 

It still sounds cold, but you could also hear some concern. At least, you hope that’s what you hear. You raise your head as you keep your hand on your forehead, and you keep your eyes closed.

“Listen, Blitz. I know. I know I fucked up, and I know I left without an explanation. Just give me a damn second, please. I know I don’t deserve it, but surely you can wait a few more minutes,” you beg. 

You open your eyes to see Blitz staring at you. He nods slightly as he takes a swig of his drink, and he looks at it as you reach for a glass of water, your side profile facing Blitz. You take a moment to collect yourself and finish the glass of water. You occasionally see Blitz staring at you through your peripherals, but you don’t comment on it. If you could, you would be staring at him too, but you were too ashamed. You sigh as you turn back to face him but don’t make eye contact. You'll have to, though. You close your eyes one more time, and you hear Blitz sigh angrily. Why couldn’t this be easier? What do you say? Maybe starting with sorry. Pretending you’re talking to the little boy, to the teenager you knew. What would you say if it was that version of him? If he somehow could see how things turned out? 

You open your eyes and look at Blitz square in the eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, Blitz. No explanation will make what I did okay. I thought I would never see you or Fizzarolli again. I know that sounds terrible, but I was trying to avoid this,” you gesture between the two of you. “This hurts. I probably have no right to feel that way because it was my choice, but it hurts. And all I can say is that I’m sorry I hurt you.”

You look at him a second longer before you take another drink of the alcohol you opened earlier. 

“Is that all?” Blitz asks. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re ‘sorry’ for hurting me, which you fucking didn’t. I didn’t need you, but what about sorry for running?” Blitz snaps. 

You would be lying if you said it didn’t hurt hearing Blitz say he didn’t need you. You’ve always had such big emotions, and you are actively fighting off tears so it doesn’t get more tense. You just have to get through this night. You ignore the question and decide to focus on the first part. 

“My bad, Blitz. I guess I thought we were closer than we were. I guess it hurt me to leave you,” you explain.

“Yeah, I could tell,” he rolls his eyes. 

The silence settles in. There’s probably nothing you could say that would take the anger away from his eyes. You sigh. 

“Tell me why you ran,” Blitz presses you for an answer.

“Why does it matter?” You shoot back. 

“Because the stupid jester and I spent a lot of time blaming ourselves,” Blitz admits. 

You raise your eyebrows at the lack of Fizzarolli’s name. 

“Stupid jester? Why-” Blitz interrupts you.

“No, you don’t get to ask any fucking questions until you answer mine,” he points a finger in your face. 

You push his finger away from your face. 

“Look, Blitz. I invited you to apologize, and I get that you’re angry. But frankly, I’m not telling you why I left,” you huff out as you swallow the rest of your drink in one gulp and open another stronger drink.

Blitz gets down from his seat and walks away from the bar before turning to face you. He looks extremely pissed. And slightly drunk. 

“You owe it to us, damn it. You don’t deserve to wear that locket with our faces and tell me I can’t know why you left.”

You start downing more of the drink as you feel your vision getting blurry. This is a nightmare. 

“Like I said, it’s not just an accessory I throw on every morning. It serves as a reminder of what I left behind. What I had to leave behind, and if I remember correctly, I got us the lockets,” you snap. 

“Yeah, but you don’t see me fucking wearing it. I threw that piece of shit away after you left. You need a reminder of what you left behind, and I’m right fucking here,” Blitz says as he walks back and slams his hand on the bar. 

The mix of the alcohol and the loud noise was not a pleasant mixture. 

“And you’re better off! You own a business, Blitz!” You dig your nails into your palm as you try to ground yourself. 

“Oh! Thanks a lot! That makes you leaving a lot better! Because you left, I became a boss!” Blitz yells, rolling his eyes. 

You feel your eye twitch. There was no point in this. Only pain and you were supposed to leave that behind. 

“I think we’re done here, Blitz,” you sigh as you drink the last bit. 

You turn around to leave payment for your drinks and Blitz’s. You hear shuffling behind you, and you’re surprised he is taking your dismissal quickly. You wish you could say that part of you hoped that he would fight more, but you are tired. You have been exhausted for a long time now. If it wasn’t for your current job, you don’t know what kind of hole you would go down into. You turn around to grab your jacket, but it’s not on the counter. You look up to see Blitz smirking with it in your hand. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“Blitz, I am not in the mood. Just give me my jacket, and we can head our separate ways,” you ask as you step out from behind the bar.

“Makes it kind of hard to leave when you don’t have everything with you, huh?” Blitz mocks. 

“You don’t know the fucking half of it,” you snap as you walk towards him, but he puts distance between you both. “Blitz, I swear-”

“You swear what? Can’t fucking hurt me anymore than you did already,” Blitz shoots at you.

“I thought I didn’t hurt you. I thought you didn’t need me,” you mock his earlier words, anger beginning to spill.

“You know what I meant bitch!” Blitz’s stance becomes more rigid as he gets worked up again. 

“Real classy BlitzO,” you over-enunciate the O. 

“The O is silent, and you fucking know it,” Blitz snarls.

“How would I? I left you behind and never thought about you at all. I avoided anything to do with you both, so how on earth would I know that, Blitzo,” you say, feigning cluelessness. 

“You know what I think? I think you were jealous of Fizz and me because all you would ever be was the person who cleaned up AFTER we performed. It explains why you work here. All you wanted was the spotlight, and when knowing us wasn’t enough, you fucking ran,” Blitz yells as he gets in your face. 

You feel your heart break. It was like hearing your worst fears come to life. Did he genuinely see you as only the person who cleaned up after? Sure, you left because you wanted better for yourself (and tried to avoid your feelings, but that’s not important). Still, you never became friends with Fizzarolli or Blitz to get “famous” or whatever he was implying. You didn’t even know what to say.

“And this,” Blitz lifts your locket with a finger before tugging, “was all bullshit.”

You feel the clasp break and hear a tiny clink as the locket hits the floor. Your eyes water as you look at Blitz before briefly looking down at the locket. It falls open, and Fizz’s photo is falling out slightly. You have the urge to puke as you suddenly feel every emotion you’ve ever felt rise to your chest, but the two that were rising above the others are anger and sadness. 

You slightly shove Blitz away as you bend down to pick up the locket and the picture. Your vision is blurry as tears start pouring down your face. As soon as one tear slips out, a dam opens. Your head is spinning as you get back up and try to insert Fizz’s photo back in its slot, but it got slightly wet, making it a bit difficult to get in carefully. You quickly walk over to the bar to set down the locket and the picture and try calming your racing heart. 

“You can quit the dramatics,” Blitz snaps from behind you.

Your eyes look forward, and you feel your stare harden. Fuck it all to hell. You turn around quickly to face Blitz.

“FINE. Do you want to know why I left Blitz? I left because I couldn’t stand being seen as the help or the janitor or whatever the fuck people saw me as. I know damn well that a good portion of the people at the circus didn’t even know my fucking name. I sure as hell know that your dad didn’t because he LOVED reminding me of ‘my place.’ He loved telling me that my friendship with Fizzarolli wouldn’t last. Oh, but never about you. How is it that your own father didn’t appreciate his performer son? Hell, you were almost treated the same way I was. Almost. You had your good moments with your father, even though they were rare and always had some ulterior motive behind them,” you ramble.

You notice the hurt in Blitz’s eyes before it disappears into anger. You didn’t care at this point, though. Your hands are clenched at your side, your heart is in your throat, and you want nothing more than to hurt Blitz the way he had just hurt you by assuming that you never cared about them. 

“My father-”

“I don’t care! You wanted my reasoning, so I’m giving it to you so we can be done, and you can go back to hating me regardless. I left because I knew that if I stayed, I would only ever be the person who cleaned up after you guys, as you so graciously pointed out,” Blitz’s face cringes, but you continue, “I wanted so hard to forget the difference in our worlds, but your dad always made it abundantly clear that I wasn’t worth anything because of what I did at the circus. I had to believe that you and Fizzarolli saw more than what I did. I thought you saw who I was, but do you remember the day I left? The way your dad spoke to me and the fact that neither of you defended me? You both sat there, and you let your dad humiliate me. You might as well have said the words yourself,” you feel yourself crumbling as you hold your hand over your heart, and your breath gets faster. 

“But I didn’t! I went and found you-” Blitz starts, but you interrupt him.

“Yeah, after the fact! By then, the damage had already been done Blitz! Did I truly think that you believed what your father said? Honestly? No. I didn’t think YOU believed that. I’m sorry, Blitz, but your dad was an asshole, and you deserved a better father. I meant it that night when I told you that I felt like you were the only one who understood what it was like to be under the shadows of others. So, in that moment, I felt like you sympathized with me, but what you said right now has me doubting everything I thought I knew,” you say as you look him in the eyes, hurt leaking through every word. 

Blitz’s face looks apologetic and uncomfortable as he watches you spiral. He reaches out to you, but you back away. 

“And even after I left, I wanted to return Blitz! I desperately wanted to go back, even if it meant never doing anything with my life, because that’s how much I cared about you guys. You were my best friends, and I wish I could say I would have done anything for you, but I couldn’t stay there. I’m sorry I couldn’t. I couldn’t stay and watch you both grow and realize that maybe I was below you. That I was never anything more than that scared little child who needed you both to save me, but you had outgrown. I couldn’t stand by and lose my best friend who I loved entirely as he looked at me with disgust, and I wasn’t going to be the stupid idiot that fell in love with the star of the show that would follow him around like a damn puppy,” you sob out as you fall to the floor. 

You let out a couple of sobs as your right hand goes to your heart and your left hand goes to your head. You hunch over as you try to gain control over your emotions again. This is all too much, and your head is pounding. You feel yourself slowly stopping before you abruptly sit up straight. 

Did you just…? You slowly look up and see Blitz mirroring the same expression you are sure is on your face—surprise, shock. You rub your eyes before quickly getting off the floor and heading to the bar. The picture is dry, so you put it back in the slot where it belongs. You reach for your jacket before remembering that Blitz still has it.

“Screw this, I’ll ask for a spare key,” you whisper as you start walking towards the backstage exit. 

“Oh no, you don’t,” Blitz says as he hurries over, but you immediately turn towards the main entrance. 

You are at the door when Blitz speaks again.

“You wouldn’t have seen it happen,” Blitz says softly. 

You pause slightly. You didn’t know if you could respond without bursting into tears again. You wait, a tiny part hoping that he would expand. 

“Not long after you left, it all burned.” 

Your eyebrows furrow as you slowly turn around. You aren’t sure how to process this information. If you are staying, you need a glass of water, so you walk over to the bar before heading to the end of the stage to sit down. You look up at Blitz, waiting patiently as he looks deep in thought. He finally looks up, and he seems a lot more calmer.  Less angry. A lot like the Blitz you knew. 

“It’s how I got this,” Blitz points at his face. “And these.”

You wondered how he got all his scars, but you never thought he got them from the place you had once been. 

“I’m so sorry, Blitz,” you whisper. 

He looks at you and nods slightly.

“Not as sorry as I am. I lost a lot that night,” he says as he walks over with his phone out. 

He sits down on the stage next to you and sets down his phone between the two of you. A picture on the screen shows him, his mom, and his sister. You look up at Blitz, and you notice the pendant on his belt matches his mom’s in the picture. Oh no. 

“Blitz,” you whisper as you look at him before looking down.

“I guess your timing wasn’t half bad. I don’t think I would have forgiven myself if you got hurt too,” Blitz says as he takes his phone back. 

“Forgive yourself?”

Blitz looks at you before looking at the floor in front of him. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, but it was my fault. It was an accident…but it was my fault that the circus went up in flames that day,” Blitz says as he looks up at you. 

You stare at him as you raise your hand to comfort him before putting it back down. His eyes follow the movement, making it awkward, but you haven’t seen him in years. Things have changed. 

“I believe you, Blitz, but at least you had each other,” you reply, and Blitz turns away.

“Yeah…the jester and I aren’t really on speaking terms anymore,” Blitz admits.

You can’t help the way your eyebrows raise and your eyes widen. Those two were best friends. Hell, for a while, you thought one of them harbored a secret crush on the other. What possibly drew them apart?

“It wasn’t because of me, right?” You desperately ask.

A lighthearted smile appears on Blitz. 

“Not everything is about you,” he responds lightly. 

You return his smile with one of your own. You feel the weight of the night lift just a bit. Things aren’t healed completely, but at the moment, the waters are calm. You sit in silence as you both process everything that was said tonight. You hear Blitz sigh.

“Look, I won’t say I completely agree with you leaving, but I guess I understand why you did it. I don’t fucking like it, but it’s done. Now I know,” Blitz starts. “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to move on from this. Too many emotions for one night.”

“What does that mean, Blitz?” You look at Blitz as he hops off the stage.

“Well, first, it means you put your number in my phone,” he says as he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“Gross,” you respond as you take his phone from him and put in your number. 

He takes his phone back, and you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket. You take it out, and you see someone is calling you. You look at Blitz and see him staring at your phone before looking back up at you.

“Whoops, meant to text you,”  he says awkwardly.

“You were calling to see if I gave you my actual number, weren’t you?” You deadpan. 

“Ha, can never be too sure,” he replies, rubbing the back of his neck.

His awkward smile is too goofy to be mad at, and you find yourself smiling and rolling your eyes at him. You make small talk as you fix things before you both head out for the night. You’re at the bar washing the glass you used when Blitz speaks up again.

“I knew it, by the way,” Blitz say matter of factly.

“Knew what?” You say as you put the glass down to dry and turn to look at him.

“You wanting to do nasty things with the clown,” Blitz says as he grabs the locket you set down at the bar.

You feel your face burn as your jaw drops. You hold out your hand for the locket, and he drops it in your hand. 

“I did not say that, Blitz,” you say as you watch him smirk at your reaction. “Besides, I misspoke.”

“Right…” Blitz says, following you as you head to the entrance in embarrassment. 

“Is it bad I’m a tiny bit glad you don’t have contact with Fizzarolli?”

“Why? So I don’t tell him how much you want to-.”

“GOod night, Blitz,” you say as you leave the club. 

You close the door after Blitz steps out with a prideful smirk.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m not walking you to your apartment,” he says as he walks in the direction Stolas and he found you. 

You slightly jog to catch up with him.

“It’s really not necessary, Blitz,” you say. 

“I’m not leaving you alone. It’s next time,” Blitz says while he looks at you.

You feel your heart warm up as you realize he remembers the night you went looking for them. You smile at him as he rolls his eyes. After getting to your apartment building, you say goodbye to Blitz, and he walks in the other direction. You weren’t sure if he would text you, but it was nice having this day. 

You walk up to your apartment and let yourself fall on your couch. You should probably head to bed, but you wanted to reflect on what happened today. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, and you definitely spilled more than you wanted to, but at least Blitz knew why you ran. That’s all that mattered. If he doesn’t forgive you, you would just add him to the list of people who didn’t right under you. You feel your phone buzz, and you smile slightly at the notif.

Blitzø

thx for not runing this time

didnt meen what i said

did care abut u

You smile softly. His spelling has not gotten better. 

You

Thanks Blitz.

You glance at the time before you decide to head off to bed. As you tuck in, you ponder how things might be different. Hopefully, everything is okay. In fact, you hope tonight was all the excitement you need for this year. You close your eyes, and you go to sleep with your heart feeling a bit lighter than it’s felt in years. 

Song mentioned: The World We Knew (Over and Over). sung by Frank Sinatra.

*I've had some interest shown in this being a Reader x Poly (Stolas, Blitz, Fizz, and Ozzie), so I am currently leaving things ambiguous! If you have any opinions on which pairing you'd like, please don't be afraid to let me know!

[nellialu]

I'll Be Seeing You

✯ Chapter 1 ✯ Chapter 2 ✯

Thank you guys so much for your patience! With college and rehearsals in the way, I don't have much free time, but I hope you all enjoy it!

Pairing: Fizzarolli x Reader

Warning: Cursing, Violence, Attempted Kidnapping

Word Count: 3.7K

I’ve heard of affairs

That are strictly platonic

But diamonds are a girl’s best friend

You walk around the stage, entirely in the music, in this character you’re portraying. The audience hangs onto every word you sing, which surprised you when you first started working here. You hadn’t expected so many sinners to want to listen to something that wasn’t about sex or violence. Considering the number of people who often listen to the radio, you should have known. 

And I think affairs

That you must keep liaisonic

Are better bets

If little pets get big baguettes

You look at the audience and notice a few familiar faces and some new ones. You wink at an older regular who only came to hear you sing because it reminds him of when he was alive on Earth. You continue to look out in the audience as you start heading down the stairs towards everyone. Your eyes land on someone who the character you're playing would chase. He looks rich enough. 

You slowly strut over as you continue singing. You see his eyes, all four of them widen when he notices you coming directly towards him—poor thing. You look at his table and notice the empty seat across from him. Strange. 

You finally reach him, slide a finger under his face, and lift it to look at you. You feel him swallow before you quickly drop your hand and spin to your left, moving to stand behind his chair. You grab the chair with your right hand while the left is outstretched. 

I don’t mean rhinestone

But diamonds are a girl’s best

You spin to your left against the chair, so you end up falling in the gentleman’s lap, sitting sideways. 

Best friend

While you sing the last two words, you quickly tap two fingers against your lips before lightly tapping your fingers once on the stranger’s cheeks. You notice a slight blush on his face as you stand and return to the stage. You would typically kiss your target’s cheek, but this man looks red-faced enough with your attention on him. 

“So good to see all of you lovely folks here tonight,” you say breathlessly in the microphone. 

The crowd cheers, and you smirk. Being up on stage was healing. You weren’t that little child stuck in the rafters anymore. You commanded attention now. 

“While I would love to stay out here performing for you all night,” you hear sounds of disapproval before you can even finish. 

“Now, now, you can come down and see me any time, but tonight, we have a set of talented musicians ready to get you out of your seat and onto the dance floor instead. But I can’t leave you all without one more song,” you giggle as your back faces the audience. 

You slowly turn around with your eyes closed. The warmth of the spotlight touches your skin, and you smile brightly as you bring the microphone to your lips. 

Prim and proper, the girl who’s never been kissed

You open your eyes and turn so your side profile faces the audience, putting on a show. You hear a couple of whistles as you sing. 

Well, I’m tired of being pure and not chased

You turn back to face the audience and drag your hand from your thigh to your stomach, between your chest, and up your neck until your hand flourishes. You knew it was slightly suggestive, but you would be lying to yourself if you didn’t accept part of the reason you were hired. Even if you didn’t believe it some days, you were easy on the eyes, making audiences especially susceptible to your performances. 

You continue singing the song, mainly focusing on everyone sitting closest to the stage. By winking at them, you give special attention to those placing money on the stage. Some respond shyly, while others, your least favorite, get this nasty look in their eyes as they smirk at you. A similar feeling to one you’ve felt before. A feeling that makes you feel small. You shake your head as you head down the stairs of the stage once more. 

I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries

I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze

As you sing that line, you notice one of the bouncers on break in the audience and smirk. You take a drink from the beer in front of them before giving them a wink, to which they laugh and shake their head. 

You turn away to continue giving everything into your final song for the night. You turn around and notice the stranger from earlier, and you decide he will be the last person you tease for the night. 

And whatever I’ve got, I am eager to lose-

You didn’t even reach his table before you felt your heart drop. Across from him was a face you hadn’t seen in years. Blitzo. Blitz. His confused eyes stare up at you. He doesn’t recognize you. You quickly turn back to the stranger to try to make the sudden stop in singing make sense. 

“Sorry, pretty boy. I didn’t know you were a taken man,” you force a giggle as you quickly make your way back up the stage. 

You turn to the pianist.

“Sorry, sweets. Let’s take it where I left off,” you smile sweetly, and the pianist returns the smile and nods. 

I wanna be evil, little evil me

Just as mean and evil as I can be

The room erupts in a cacophony of cheers as you take your bow. You gesture over at your pianist, who also bows to the room. You turn back, and you smile as you take another bow. You look out to the audience as they beam up at you. You dare another glance at Blitz, except he isn’t looking up at you directly. He’s looking at something lower. You raise your eyebrows before looking down, and you see it. Your locket must have slipped out like it typically did during performances, except you never really had to worry about it…until now. 

He looks back at you with an undistinguishable expression, and you try to look away while keeping a smile on your face. You cannot freak out now. You just have to get off the stage, and then you can go home. 

“Thank you, thank you! Now, please help me welcome our next performer,” you yell out as you take a final bow before calmly walking towards the opening curtains. You smile at the next performer before the curtain closes, leaving you again in darkness. 

There is absolutely no way. You begin walking back towards your dressing room and think about what you saw. He looks different. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, that’s for sure. Neither were you. You noticed that he had burn marks on his face, but it was still his face. It’s hard to forget the face of one of your best friends, even if it does look slightly different. 

You sigh as you change out of your outfit and into comfier clothing as you take off your makeup. If you are lucky, he didn’t even recognize you. The look he gave you was probably because his date told him that you chose him as your target of some very minimal flirting. While looking directly at the locket around your neck. But also, the spotlight is extremely bright, so maybe you imagined it all. Yeah, that was it. There was no need to panic. Everything would be okay. You smile at yourself in the mirror to convince yourself of that. You’re interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Um, hello,” you call out as you turn to face the door. 

You were never typically bothered after a performance. 

“Are you decent? Can I come in?” 

Stage manager.

“Uhh, are you by yourself,” you ask hesitantly. 

“Yes?” 

You roll your eyes at your behavior. You’re being so paranoid.

“Sure, come in,” you say as you turn back to face your mirror. 

The stage manager walks into your room before closing the door. 

“Good job out there tonight.”

You shoot her a smile through the mirror’s reflection.

“Thanks, kid.”

“So…weird that you asked if I was alone. Were you expecting guests in the audience tonight,” the stage manager asks while looking down at the clipboard in her hands.

You feel your heart drop. You are hoping this conversation wasn’t leading where you thought it was. 

“No.”

The stage manager looks surprised.

“Oh! That guy you sat on was asking to see you. His name is,” the stage manager looks down at her clipboard again. “Stolas.”

You drop your makeup wipe.

“As in the prince?”

What in the hell is Blitz doing with a prince? How could you not recognize him? To be entirely fair to yourself, it could be pretty dark towards the back of the club…is what you’re telling yourself. 

“I guess? He was insistent that he needed to see you,” the stage manager says while leaning towards the door, listening to the music outside.

“Was he with anyone?” 

“No, ma’am,” she shifts as she gets antsy to return to her post, “plus, if he is a prince, as you said, and he’s interested, you’ll get your wish of getting with someone rich.”

You raise your eyebrows.

“You know I just sing ‘Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend,’ right? I don’t apply it to my real life. I don’t value wealth over meaningful relationships,” you explain.

You see the stage manager’s cheeks turn red. 

“I’m sorry,” she starts, but you wave her off. 

“Send him in,” you sigh as you work on fixing your appearance again.

So much for being comfy; maybe the finger kiss was too much. You hear the stage manager sigh and make eye contact with her through the mirror, raising your eyebrows. 

“Look, between you and me, there was someone else with him, but he told Stolas to say it was just him because you wouldn’t agree to see them if you knew he was there,” she exclaims. 

You feel like you’re going to be sick. You didn’t think you could do this tonight, especially since today seemed to have more blasts from the past than usual. 

“Oh, fuck,” you mutter.

You become hyper-aware of your breathing and raise your hand to your chest. You can not do this tonight. You quickly turn towards the stage manager, who looks concerned.

“Look, kid, Emmie? That’s your name, right,” you ask as you turn to face her. 

She seems shocked that you know her name, and she nods. 

 “I need your help, Emmie. I need you to cause a distraction and lead them away so I can slip out of the back doors. Please, I just feel a little under the weather, and I don’t feel like I’m in a good place to talk to people tonight,” you beg as you feel tears start to pool. 

You are trying so hard not to cry in front of this poor girl, but you will if it means she feels bad for you. Luckily for you, that wouldn’t be necessary. 

“Of course, ma’am. I have the phone number you gave us for emergencies, and the moment I manage to lead them away, I’ll text you. Do you have any recommendations for getting them out of the backstage area?” she asks.

You think. You must be clever because Blitz has already experienced your disappearing act once. 

“Tell them I typically go out to watch the show by the bar, and they should wait for me there. Tell them that drinks are on me,” you whisper, unsure of yourself. 

She nods, and she smiles sympathetically. 

“Good luck,” she says as she walks out. 

Now, all you had to do was wait. Would they buy it? More importantly, would Blitz buy it? You wouldn’t be surprised if he suddenly knocked on your dressing room door. 

What would you even say? Sorry for running? You weren’t. If you would have stayed, you would have been stuck there for the rest of your life. But on the other hand, you would have had your friends. You look down at your locket and open it to look at your young friends before closing it again. You look at yourself in the mirror. No. You wouldn’t have had them. They would have moved on without you. 

You notice that you must have still had some mascara on since there was a barely visible trail going down your cheeks from the few tears that escaped. You go to grab tissues to wipe them off when you get a text from Emmie.

Maybe: Emmie

EMERGENCY! YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW!

ONLY HAVE MINUTE!

EMMIE BTW!

You stare at your phone in horror, decide not to question her, grab your bag, and immediately take off. You exit your dressing room and beeline to the backdoor exit. You see Emmie standing by, holding the door open. What a saint. You speed walk, and she looks slightly panicked as you reach her.

“No time to explain, just go,” she rushes out.

You didn’t have to be told twice. You nod, and you exit the club. You hear her close the door behind you and take in your surroundings. You are currently in an alleyway, which is slightly terrifying. You turn your head to the right and see one of the bouncers smoking. He watches you, giving you a nod, which you return. You begin walking to your left to get to the front of the building. The line to get in has gone down, but some people are outside. Some of them had too much to drink. 

You begin walking back to your apartment. You should have brought your car tonight. The streets are lit up, but you feel you're being followed. You glance across the street to the reflection in the windows and see someone a couple of feet behind you. Not the prince or Blitz. You feel chills run down your entire body. This couldn’t happen again.

“How did this even happen,” Fizz whispers as he hugs you, trying to calm you down while Blitzo tries his hardest to clean your wounds.

It was late at night, and none of you should have been up. You would get a good yelling at if you were caught being up. 

“I- I- They were following me for a while, and they pushed me when I was in their way,” you cry as you try to stop the body-wracking sobs.  

“Why would you go out by yourself in the first place,” Fizz hugs you tighter as you cringe away from Blitzo’s hands.

“You guys left without me. You said we would go get pizza together after the show.”

You look up at Fizz and Blitzo, who share a look. 

“Papa said you were feeling sick,” Blitzo whispers. 

They both look down at you as you start crying harder—such big emotions for your tiny body. Blitzo moves to put bandages on your cuts. It wasn’t even the fact that you were left behind. It was the day as well. 

“I finally,” you hiccup. “I finally reached ten years like you two, and it’s no fun,” you whisper as you feel yourself calming down again. 

Fizz and Blitzo look at each other again.

“Next time, you won’t be alone, okay,” Blitzo assures you as he takes your hand. 

“We’re sorry,” Fizz says, moving his hands over your eyes. “We still got you something.”

Your hear movement, and your tail moves excitedly, causing Fizz to giggle. You feel someone’s presence before you, and Fizz moves his hands from your eyes. 

“Happy Birthday,” Fizz and Blitzo silently yell. 

In front of you is a pizza in the rough shape of a heart. The pepperonis spell out ‘Happy Brithda.’ You giggle as you notice the misspelling. 

“Blitzo was in charge of the words. I chose the shape,” FIzz explains with a slight blush on his face. 

You take the pizza box from Blitzo before closing it and setting it to the side. Blitzo’s smile drops, and Fizz looks sad. 

“Didn’t you like it,” Blitzo mumbles. 

“Of course, silly. I just needed to put the box down to do this,” you say as you throw yourself at both boys, wrapping your arms around them. You all giggle as you nearly make them fall backward. 

“Alright, alright, what’s your birthday wish,” Blitzo asks excitedly while pushing you back. 

“I can’t say it out loud, or it won’t come true. I heard a sinner say that,” you exclaim as you mime a zipper over your mouth.

“It’s not the same rule for us,” Blitzo argues.  

“How do you know that Blitzo?” Fizz asks.

“Because I know things.”

You and Fizz share a look before looking back at Blitzo, who was waiting expectantly.

“Fine, Blitzo. I wish we’d be friends forever,” you said while pointing your tongue at him. 

“Boring. I would wish for my own tent so I don’t have to share anymore.”

“Blitzo, that’s mean. I think your wish is good,” Fizz beams at you. 

“I think so too,” you whisper as you all continue talking the night away.

Maybe the sinner was right. It was bad luck to say your wishes out loud. You start walking a bit faster when you hear the steps getting closer. You are so close to your apartment, but you know you can’t exactly run towards it for safety reasons. Maybe you are being paranoid, and this stranger is just walking in the same direction that you are. You remember that a coffee shop is open 24/7 across the street from your apartment, and you decide that maybe waiting there would be the wiser option. 

You cross the street since the coffee shop is on the other side and hear the same steps follow. So much for walking in the same direction. You had to guarantee your safety one way or another. You decide to fake a phone call with someone meeting you. 

“Oh,” you exclaim loudly as you continue walking as if you got a call you weren’t expecting. 

“Hey! I’m almost at the coffee shop. Are you there already?” you beam into your phone.

You realize how fucked you would be if you got a real call. 

“Perfect! I’ll be there in a few, love,” you say as you pretend to hang up. 

You strain your ears to hear the footsteps, and you nearly take off in a sprint when you hear them closer than before. Okay, a phone call was a bad idea. You prepare yourself to run when you feel someone roughly grab your hand, jerking you backward into a chest.

“I think you’re going to be late for your little date,” the stranger growls into your ear.

You feel fear creeping up and paralyzing you to the spot. This was definitely a lot worse than getting pushed to the floor by a couple of assholes. 

“Aww, cat got your tongue? It didn’t seem that way back in the club,” he hisses at you.

You raise your eyebrow as you look back at him, and you immediately recognize him as the guy who tipped you and looked at you like a piece of meat when you winked at him. Well, crap. 

“Look, man, I don’t want any trouble,” you plead as he chuckles.

“Oh, that’s perfect.”

You need to find a way to escape. You try to think, but your brain goes empty. This day has been a fucking nightmare. You suddenly feel his filthy hand over your mouth, and he starts dragging you towards a darkened alley. Tears begin to prick your eyes, and you try to yell. 

“Shut the fuck up, you bitch. No one is going to save you,” he growls as he digs his nails into your skin. 

Your muffled sound of pain is not loud enough for anyone to hear. No one is going to save you. You have to save yourself. With all the strength you can muster, you elbow him in the guts, which causes him to loosen his grip on you. You immediately push out of his arms and run across the street. You debate calling out for help, but this is Hell. You are risking putting yourself in more danger if you scream for help. At this point, the club might be the safest place for you. 

You continue running, and you pass your apartment building. You desperately want to run in but know it won’t end well. You are halfway to the club when the stranger tosses himself at you, causing you to fall forward.

“What the fuck,” you yell as you feel your knees scrape roughly on the sidewalk. 

This was familiar. The stranger lands next to you, so you roll away from him before trying to stand. However, he is quick on his feet this time and slams your body into the wall next to you. Your head hits the wall, and your vision blurs. You feel a searing pain in your side as you realize he must have had a knife on him. 

“Mother fucker,” you cry out as you try to stand, but you’re so disoriented. 

You slip down the wall as your tears start falling. You want to run. You want to go home. You feel yourself growing weaker. You almost don’t notice the lack of action coming from your attacker. Maybe he was trying to catch his breath. You should use this moment to run. You try to stand weakly from your spot on the floor when you feel a soft hand on your shoulder. 

“Hold on, darling. You’re badly hurt. It’s okay, you’re safe, but I wouldn’t recommend standing,” you hear from your side. You turn to look at who is beside you, only to be met with Prince Stolas. You watch him look away at something behind you, and his eyes hold anger. You see his mouth moving, but everything is spinning. 

“Prince Stolas,” you weakly beg. “I just want to go home. I’m so tired.”

He looks down at you, and his gaze softens. He brings you closer as he strokes your hair. 

“It’s alright, just stay awake for me,” he whispers. 

“I can’t,” you cry as your eyes get heavier. 

You start seeing black spots in the corner of your eyesight. You’re definitely going to pass out. The last thing you feel before your vision becomes dark is someone grabbing your hand tightly.

Songs mentioned: Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend, sung by Marilyn Monroe, and I Want To Be Evil, sung by Eartha Kitt.

See you all in the next chapter (which may or may not already be written)!

[nellialu]

Can you please do Loona x Short Male Sinner Reader? I understand if not, thanks for your time!

Loved Truly

Thank you so much for the request, and I'm sorry it took me a while to get out! I had to restart a couple of times because I wasn't sure how to write for Loona or from a male perspective, BUT I loved the challenge, so I appreciated this (no way to get better except with practice)!!

Pairing: Loona x Short Male Sinner Reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of murder

Word Count: 2.2K

You sighed, looking at the building ahead of you. Today was the day you were finally going to get revenge on the asshole that killed you. Sure, you killed his girlfriend, but it was only because she was your girlfriend first. And he was your best friend. You thought you had finally found people who didn’t care about anything but who you were, but then you turned around and found them fucking in your bed. 

You clench your fist as you try to calm yourself. Where the fuck is this business? It wasn’t the only business in the building, and it was not helpful that there weren't many signs telling you where to go except the singular I.M.P. sign outside. 

You finally located which floor the business was on and boarded the elevator. It would jolt a bit every once in a while, and the lights flickered on and off. If you weren’t already dead, you would have feared for your life. After the doors took a second too long to open, you briskly stepped out as you finally allowed yourself to breathe. You might not have been scared, but it didn’t mean you wanted to free-fall down many flights. You were taken out of your head by two people standing outside one of the company’s doors. They seemed to be in a tense conversation, but you weren’t trying to be late for your meeting. 

“I just don’t get why,” you heard as you passed the two strangers conversing. 

You quickly glanced at them, but your attention was stolen. The strangers were two hellhounds. You didn’t know much about them except that they were treated terribly by other demons. You usually weren’t surrounded by hellborns as a sinner, but you would see the occasional one as you did your thing. Both hellhounds had a scheme of grays that made up the color of their fur. The only difference was that the female hellhound had lighter shades of gray. In fact, part of her fur was white. 

You shook your head as you realized you were staring. You had to walk around them slightly and accidentally made eye contact with the female hellhound. She looked upset, but it was none of your business. 

“I’m sorry, but it won’t change,” the male hellhound explained.

“Whatever,” she snarled as she walked away from him, nearly shoving you to the floor.

“What the fuck,” you grunted as you tried not to fall over, but she didn’t turn around. 

You looked back at the male hellhound with your eyebrows raised. His once sympathetic eyes turned stern in a couple of seconds before he shrugged, and he walked to the office opposite the one the female hellhound went to. 

Alright.

You looked back at the door she had left through only to see the words you had been looking for. Well, this was going to be awkward. You opened the door, and you were met by loud yelling. You stepped in, and you weren’t sure what to expect. Two imps, a female and a male, were talking to each other. You saw the hellhound from outside at what you believed was a receptionist's table. The yelling was coming from a closed-door room. You began walking over to the hellhound to finish this as fast as possible. 

“Hey, so I have a meeting with your boss. Blitzo? Blitz?”

She looked up briefly from her phone, made eye contact, and rolled her eyes before looking back down at her phone. You stood there dumbfounded. 

“Listen, I don’t know what happened outside, but-”

You were cut off by the hellhound standing up quickly and snarling at you. You felt the two imps behind you turn their attention to you both by now. You leaned back slightly with your hands raised. She towered over you by a couple of inches, and if you hadn’t just seen her look a bit bleak, you would have been scared. She looked like someone you didn’t want to fuck with. 

“How about you shut the fuck up,” she snapped. 

Her face was angry, but her eyes didn’t hold the same emotion, at least not entirely. You recognized the look. The anger was a facade. It reminded you of the day you snapped. 

You were angry, but most of all, you were hurt. You loved your girlfriend and your best friend. They stuck around with you for the longest time. You met in high school, where you first met your girlfriend when she defended you against bullies. People could be cruel, and when your height was below the average of every male at school, it made people unkind. It was high school. Appearance was a big deal, and if you weren’t perfect, people subjected you to verbal cruelty. It messed you up, and the words followed you into college. 

Still, your girlfriend, your then-friend, assured you that people were just assholes. People considered her a popular girl, but she didn’t hold views similar to those of her other popular peers. She was charming and could hold her own against people trying to be mean for no reason. Soon after, you met your best friend when he asked to be your partner for a class project. You both instantly clicked, and you held a lot of love for both of them. You finally found the courage to ask out your girlfriend when you got to college. You were happy for four years before the incident happened. 

The day you caught them, you felt all the old insecurities creep in. You weren’t blind. Your best friend was a conventionally attractive man, and they looked like they belonged together visually. You later found out that your girlfriend had begun to resent you. Things that she used to find endearing had become ugly to her. One of those things being your height. She hated how people would stare if she wore heels and that she had to lean down to kiss you. She hadn’t meant to confess that then, but she did. And it hurt.

She apologized profusely, explaining that she knew it couldn’t be changed and didn’t mean to hurt you. But it didn’t hurt as much as what your friend told you before he killed you. 

The whole reason why he had become friends with you was because he saw how close you were with your girlfriend, and he had hoped to get closer to you to get closer to her. He explained how angry he was when you asked her out, but he knew that she would eventually choose him. He told you what she said about you when they were together, “making love.” You felt tears build in your eyes out of anger, but you could feel your heart breaking. You had tried to push him off, but he was too strong. The last thing you remember was the emotional pain as you saw your friend’s manic smile fade to black. 

You are taken out of your thoughts by a hand on your bicep.

“Are…Are you okay,” the imp next to you looked concerned. 

You raised your eyebrows before you felt something wet on your cheek. Tears. You quickly wiped them away before you looked back at the hellhound, and she looked a bit shocked. 

“Damn it. Fucking allergies followed me even in death,” you lied through your teeth. “Anyways, like I said, I have to talk to your boss.” 

“Oh, of course! Forgive Loona. She doesn’t know how to do her job,” the imp said as he walked to the door to the left of the desk.

“Oh fuck off, Moxxie,” the hellhound, who you know knew was named Loona, said as she walked out to a room that looked like a lunch room. 

You looked back at the imp, Moxxie, as he entered the door. He immediately came out and let you know Blitz was ready for you.

~~

You walked out of the building, taking a breath. You kept your explanation brief, and Blitz was on board. He mentioned that he would send a text once it was done. You were slightly concerned that this would mean that you would see your friend in Hell, considering he killed you, but at this point, you’d rather have him dead than enjoy his life. 

You walked towards the right before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. You were going to cross the road when you heard a slight whining, like crying, from a dark alleyway. You walked towards the noise hesitantly and saw Loona holding her knees close to her. You felt your heart break at the sight. She reminded you so much of yourself. You knew she probably didn’t want to be caught like this, so you started to back up. However, luck wasn’t on your side, and you bumped into a can on the floor. 

Loona’s head snapped in your direction, and she was up in a flash. You felt yourself shoved against the wall. Holy shit. 

“Are you fucking following me now, you freak,” she snarled as she pushed you further into the wall. Your feet no longer touched the floor, and your eyes were leveled with hers. 

You raised your hands in surrender. 

“No, no, no. I heard something, and I wanted to check it out,” you explained, but she didn’t let up.

“But since we’re here, sorry for almost airing out your business in front of your coworkers. If someone did that to me, I’d probably be pissed off too.”

You felt the grip on your shirt loosen. You looked down at her hands before looking back up at her and placing your hand on hers. 

“I don’t want trouble. If you need someone to talk to that you’ll never see again, I’m here. If not, I'll walk the other way and won’t look back,” you whispered.

Her eyes were on your hand over hers before she quickly dropped you, causing you to fall on your ass. 

“Jesus,” you said as you collected yourself from the floor. You looked up at her, and she seemed lost in thought. You nodded before you turned around, ready to walk away. 

“Sorry,” she whispered. “For my reaction inside…and outside.”

You turned back to her and shook your head.

“It’s not a problem. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been manhandled,” you tried to play it off as a joke, but Loona looked a bit apologetic. 

She returned to sit on the floor and stared at the floor before her. You didn’t know if she wanted you to stay. It seemed like she was a lot more guarded. You contemplated walking away, but a question stopped you.

“How did it feel,” she paused. “How did it feel when the person you loved chose someone else?”

You raised your eyebrows, and she looked away, slightly embarrassed.

“It’s not my fault you were talking so loud.”

“I recall whispering, actually,” you chuckled. 

She groaned slightly as you watched her hide her face behind her hair. You smiled at her action before remembering the question. You sighed.

“It felt…like the world had ended. You know, you grow to love someone and even start to believe that you deserve it, too. It’s harder when the person you love is the epitome of beauty. You get those moments when you want to self-sabotage, but you try hard to ignore the thoughts. The memories of people calling you names are a weight on your back that you must ignore if you want the relationship to work,” you answered.

Loona looked at you curiously. The moment felt highly vulnerable.

“And yet, it doesn’t work. The people you love can still hurt you. They can get you where it hurts, too,” you whispered as you tried to hold back tears. 

You've had enough of the tears for one day. You didn’t allow your emotions to show easily when you were alive; why would it be any different in death? 

“Do you still think you can find someone who will love you truly,” Loona asked hesitantly.

You turned to look at her, and she met your eyes. Her eyes were shining. You weren’t about to put out the slight light in her eyes. The hope that she was loveable. 

“Love isn’t perfect. There will always be disagreements, and there will be moments when we will think ugly thoughts when we are upset. Still, isn’t it more important to try our hardest,” you questioned as you looked at her. 

“Look, I know what it’s like to dislike yourself, and I know what it’s like for someone to make you feel inferior because of something you can’t help. My ex broke my heart, sure, but only because she didn’t see how painful it could be to carry ghosts of words your entire life.  I can’t speak for anyone that I’ve dated or anyone I might date, but I love hard, and I love true…To answer your question, yes. Someone who knows what it’s like to feel this way can love truly. All I gotta do is find them,” you smiled. 

Loona returned your smile with a lopsided smile. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t feel your heart swell at the sight. You pushed yourself up as you reached out your hand for Loona to take, which she did. You started walking together, hand in hand, towards the alleyway entrance. 

“If you tell anyone about this, I will fucking kill you,” Loona half-heartedly joked as she let go of your hand and walked back towards the entrance of the building.

You smiled at the hostility you could still feel even though it was played off as a joke. It could go without saying that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw Loona. 

I hope you enjoyed anon!

Also, chapter two of I'll Be Seeing You will be released soon! There's also a huge possibility that Quitting I.M.P. will get a second part because it was requested on AO3!

[nellialu]

I'll Be Seeing You

✯ Chapter 1 ✯

Okay, it's been a while since I've written a fic that wasn't a one-shot, so I'm really hoping that it's something I can keep up with. I currently have about four chapters planned, but they are still developing. Even in this chapter, I changed a few things to make the story flow better!

Pairing: Fizzarolli x reader (still debating if I want to make it a polyamorous relationship eventually)

Warning: Swearing

Word Count: 3K

When you’re a kid, the sky's the limit regarding your dreams. No one expects you to have it all figured out, and for the most part, a little voice in your head tells you that you’ll make it out of your situation. Little did you know, it would come at a cost. 

~~

Clutching your chest, you quickly sit up as you try to calm your frantic heartbeat. Several weeks have passed, and you keep having dreams of your past and all the choices that got you where you are today. You take a breath as you look at the slivers of red that pass through the opening of your curtain. 

How long has it been since you fell asleep?

You sigh as you reach for your phone to catch up on anything you might have missed while sleeping, which wasn’t much. Nothing new there. You lay back in bed and stare at the ceiling. These days seem to be going by slower, and you blame it on the lack of sleep due to the dreams. 

Flashes of red and white. 

Of horses.

Of black and white horns.

You shake your head as you check the time. It was still early, and you wouldn’t have to check into work until later on. You currently work as a singer at a live music club in the Pride Ring. You didn’t live an expensive life, but you were content for the most part, especially when you got to sing. When you were a child, all you ever wanted to do was perform in front of people and make them feel something. You never got that opportunity as a child, though. You wince as a memory enters your mind.

“Blitzo! I have to clean that up,” you pouted as you picked up the garbage your friend tossed everywhere on the floor. 

“It’s not my fault you got me a gift and made it impossible to open,” Blitzo says while trying to untape the gift box that was previously in another taped-up gift box. 

You couldn’t help but smile widely as you waited for Blitzo to finally get to the actual gift. You glanced at Fizz, who was just as excited about the gift as your other friend. As if sensing your gaze, he looked up at you and stuck his tongue out at you.

“This is low, even for you! You know Blitzo can’t resist a gift,” Fizz teased.

You giggled as you saw Blitzo’s frustration at opening the gift box and finding yet another gift box inside. 

“Well, I couldn’t make it easy for him,” you said, reaching out to grab the discarded tape Blitzo had thrown to the side. " Besides, his gift is in the next box.”

Fizz smiled and shook his head at you. He looked back at Blitzo's hand, and he was close to opening the final gift box. Once he managed it, he removed its contents.

“No way,” Blitzo’s eyes lit up as he took out a little gold figurine of a horse and a heart-shaped locket.

“I was walking around some shops in my free time and saw it in the window. I knew right away that it was meant for you,” you said as Blitzo launched himself at you, nearly tackling you.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou,” he said as he hugged you before releasing you to admire his new figurine some more. 

“It’s no problem, Blitzo! You deserve it and more. Now,” you turn and take another gift box from close by, “I couldn’t forget a gift for my second favorite clown!”

Blitzo giggles as Fizz slightly frowns.

“Not funny.”

“Awww, come on Fizz. I’m just joking. You know you’re my favorite,” you giggled as Blitzo’s jaw dropped. 

Fizz instantly beams at the use of the word favorite. 

“Anyways, I saw this in the window, and I-”

“What’s going on here?”

The three of you turn towards the voice belonging to Blitzo’s dad, Cash. 

“Look, Dad! It’s a gold-”

“Shouldn’t you be cleaning the bleachers,” Cash turns to look at you, “They’re not cleaning themselves, girl!”

You felt your face flush in embarrassment at being talked down to in front of your friends, especially when they had acts in the circus. You were just a janitor for all intents and purposes. 

“Sir, I was just taking a little break with my friends,” you said with a tiny voice.

You hated feeling so small—not in a childlike way, but in a way that made you feel like your life was worth less because you were there to clean everybody else’s mess. 

“If you want a break, how about I fire you now, and you get all the breaks you want, huh? And what did I tell you about distracting my star,” Cash snapped at you. 

You felt your eyes tear up as you looked at Blitzo, whose head hung low. You felt bad for him. His own father preferred another boy as his son. You remembered the time his father had sold him for such a low cost and made him steal. That felt like so long ago now.

“I know, sir, but we’re kids too…We just want-”

“I don’t care! Fizzarolli, do you think that big clowns get to where they are because they spend their time talking to the help,” Cash said cruelly.

You turned to look at Fizz. He looked down at the unopened gift box in his hands before setting it slightly off to the side. 

“Fizzy?”

Your voice cracked as you realized he wasn’t going to respond. You looked up at Cash and saw the shit-eating grin he had on his face. You couldn’t help the tears beginning to pool in your eyes.

“I’ll get started right away, sir. I hope you enjoy your gift, Blitzo. Sorry for distracting you from your work, Fizzarolli,” you said bitterly. 

Cash watched as you picked up the last remnants of trash from Blitzo’s gift. You stood up and were getting ready to leave, but not before quickly snatching the letter attached to Fizz’s gift. You could see Fizz’s distress at your action, and you watched him throw a random piece of trash he had been playing with in front of him. Still, you walked forward. You wanted to walk away with some dignity.

“Aren’t you going to pick that up,” Cash barked at you, looking at the scrap in front of Fizz. 

Blitzo and Fizz looked at you as you slowly walked before him and picked up the scrap of trash, a tear running down your face. You couldn’t even bear looking at either of them at this point. You sprinted out of the small tent to head to the main tent and begin your work.

Your heart tugs as you push the memory out of your head. It was bad enough living through it. You don't need to be reminded of it anymore, considering you’ve seen commercials of Blitzø and Fizzarolli as adults. It hurt seeing their faces, especially after the way you left. Still, you wouldn’t allow yourself to dwell on it for longer than a few minutes. There was no point. Thinking about it wouldn’t change what happened. 

~~

After lazing around all day, you finally begin walking to work. You could take a car there, but it was so close, and you enjoy the time it gives you to mentally prepare. While performing was always your dream, it still got you nervous, especially if the crowd in the club was bigger than usual. Some days, the line would stretch outside the club door’s entrance. 

As you walk down the street, looking at the sights, you catch sight of a locket in one of the shop windows. You stop as you instinctively reach up to your locket tucked away under your shirt. You feel a ghost of a smile as you remember the gift you had given Blitzo and Fizzarolli. Your locket had pictures of a young Blitzo and Fizzarolli, Blitzo’s had a picture of you and Fizzarolli, and Fizzarolli’s had a picture of you and Blitzo. You sigh as you wish you could have seen Fizz’s reaction to the locket (and the letter, but that was neither here nor there). 

You see the club fast approaching and notice people already arriving for the night. So much for practicing on stage when you arrive. It must have been one of those nights when they would open the club a bit earlier. 

You quickly step to the side entrance and are let in by one of the bartenders on break. You shoot them a quick smile before finding your way to your dressing room. You always need a moment to take a breath and warm up. You begin humming as you apply minimal makeup. You just required enough so that the spotlight wouldn’t wash you out. You hear faint music in the background as you look at the door of your room through the mirror’s reflection, another memory sneaking back up. 

After cleaning the main tent, you decided to retire to the secret location you went to when you felt sad. You would typically watch your friends perform, but you didn’t want to talk to anyone about what happened earlier. You figured you could stay there until late at night before sneaking back into your tent. 

You finally made it to the location, which consisted of a lot of open space and a giant tree you liked to sit under. You softly threw yourself under the tree as you looked up at the sky, which always seemed to be the same shade of red despite the time. You closed your eyes as you tried to find a way to pass the time. However, your eyes shot open when you heard a tree branch rustling. Before you knew it, something, or more like someone, swung down from the tree branch to sit next to you.

“Heya,” Blitzo said, throwing his hands out and laying beside you. 

You rolled your eyes at how he seemed to have forgotten what had transpired earlier. 

“Blitzo, I told you to stop coming here! This is my secret place,” you whined. 

Blitzo turned to look at you, and it was his turn to roll his eyes.

“It’s not exactly a secret if people can easily walk to it from the circus.”

“Still…” 

You wanted to be alone, but Blitzo always had a way of showing up when that was the case. Some part of you was glad. Even though you wanted to be alone, it didn’t mean that was what you needed, and being around Blitzo always made you feel better. You were content to stay silent, but that wasn’t what Blitzo had in mind.

“Oh! Fizz wants to see you after the show. He wants to talk to you and get the complete gift,” Blitzo said as he sat up, looking down at you.

You quirked your eyebrow as you sat up as well. The complete gift? He must be on about the letter. 

“I wouldn’t want to distract Fizzarolli from all the important stuff he has to do,” your words are filled with sarcasm. 

“He’s coming here whether you like it or not. My dad can’t be the reason your friendship goes down the drain,” he plays with his hands, “he can’t ruin anything else.”

You feel your attitude drop at that last part. You make eye contact with him and nod to confirm that you will give Fizz the complete gift. He smiles slightly, and your eyes catch the locket around his neck. You feel a smile start to spread. He follows your gaze and rolls your eyes.

“Yea, yea. It’s not a big deal,” he stands. " Anyway, I've got to get ready for the show, but I’ll see you after, okay?”

“Alright,” you respond hesitantly as you watch him start the walk back to the main circus tent. Eventually, he walks into the tent, leaving you alone again.

You reach down to your pocket where you had folded up the letter you would give to Fizz. You had spent so much time ensuring everything was perfect, only for the moment to be ruined. You sigh and throw yourself back again, allowing the tears to reappear. This was a safe place to do so. 

The wind was blowing slightly, and you couldn’t help but reflect on your life at the circus. You had joined after you were left alone due to…circumstances. Luckily for you, Fizz and Blitzo found you on the street and asked if you were alright. If only little you could see where you were now. Would you have taken their outstretched hands? 

You didn’t know how much time had passed, but you did know it wasn’t long until people started flooding out of the tents. You felt your stomach do flips. Were you ready to tell Fizz what the letter said, especially after his silence today? Your love for him was unconditional. You only ever saw Fizz, your best friend, not Fizzarolli, the performer. You cared so deeply for him and Blitzo. They saved you and made a home in your heart that would never disappear, but you were dreaming if you thought they would ever forget your place at the circus. 

But what did that mean for you? Would you be willing to stay in a place that would lead to you yearning for something that would never happen? Were you willing to stand by and watch your friends move on in life without you? Fall in love without you? Watch Fizz fall in love with someone? 

You sat up as tears began flowing faster down your face. Your heart was in your throat as years of self-hate and pain started pouring out. Your sobs become audible. 

No, you wouldn’t become the pathetic friend who fell in love with someone they couldn’t have, the pathetic friend who thought that what they did didn’t matter as much as who they were. 

You looked up at the circus, a decision being made in your mind. You stood up and quickly ran back to your tent. You tried to listen to the performance and realized it was two acts from the end. You quickly grabbed your backpack and packed only the most valuable things you owned. The rest could be replaced, but things like gifts from your friends, items from your past before the circus, and even a hoodie from the circus were something you couldn’t part with. 

The final act was beginning—Blitzo and Fizz’s duo act. Your heart pounded as you thought about what you were doing. It wouldn’t hurt to try to see just the beginning, so you left your backpack hidden by the circus’ entrance. You snuck into the main tent and climbed to a location where only Blitzo and Fizz could see you. They still hadn’t dropped down, and you saw them messing around from across the space. Blitzo saw you first, and he beamed at you as he waved. You couldn’t help the smile that automatically appeared as you waved back. Fizz turned to see what he was waving at and saw you. He gave you a soft smile with a hesitant wave, and you felt your smile falter. 

Your first love. That’s what it was. Boy, was it frightening. But you wouldn’t fuck up his life. You knew he would make it far without you. You gave him a sad smile and noticed both of their concerned expressions. 

‘Why?’ You see Blitzo mouth, and your eyebrows raise. He mimes tears, and you reach up and feel them. 

You quickly wiped them away and chuckled to yourself. You’re terrible at leaving, but you had to, and their entrance was fast approaching.

‘It’s fine, I’m okay,’ you mouth back with gestures to match. 

They look at each other before turning to look at you worriedly. They can’t do anything, though.  They won’t. They have their jobs to do. You watched Fizz grab the rope nearby that he would swing down on, but not before turning to look at you again.

‘See you after,’ he mouths before raising his voice to ask Blitzo if he is ready. You begin making your descent, and you walk out of the tent. You quickly grab your backpack and take off at full speed towards the tree. 

FIzz was the one who showed you this tree. You liked pretending it was a secret space just for you, but it was all of yours. You stared up at it, and you felt the tears come back. You were okay, though. This was for the best. You pull out the letter you wrote to Fizz and place it at the tree's base. You didn’t bother weighing it down. If it flew away, it’d probably be a sign. Part of you hoped it would blow away, just like you. You turn towards the main tent and notice the early leavers are already spilling out. 

“There’s the rest of the gift, Fizzy. I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed getting to know you—the both of you. You saved my life in more ways than you know. I know you’ll do great things,” you whisper as you turn to leave. You hear the sound of people getting louder, and you run—for the second time in your life. 

Your eyes focus on your figure in the mirror, and your mascara was running a bit. 

“Damn it,” you move to get tissue papers, “I need to stop thinking back. We’re all better off now.”

You look unconvinced in the mirror and try on a smile to trick your body into believing it is okay. 

“It’s fine, you’re okay,” you whisper. 

You hear a knock on your door, followed by the stage manager’s minute warning. You take a deep breath and look at yourself in the mirror again. 

You looked like a proper singer. You smile gently and head out to the club's backstage area. The curtains are closed, and you can hear the hum of music and people having fun. You hear the emcee announcing your act next, and you can’t help but think about how far you have come. 

You did it. You made it out.

The curtains open, and the spotlight lands on you.

I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter! I'm really pumped to get the rest of these chapters written and published. I don't have a set timeline since I'm currently in college, working a job, and performing in a theater production, but I will try to work on this whenever I can!

Also, just a little spoiler: in the next chapter, we will see someone from our main narrator's past (outside of flashbacks)!

Edit: The original name of this fic was "Dream a Little Dream of Me," but I have decided to change it to "I'll Be Seeing You" since this song fits the story a bit more!

[nellialu]

Quitting I.M.P.

So... this is my first post on Tumblr! I'm not sure if I formatted everything correctly, but I hope it's somewhat readable! I decided I would go a bit tame on my first post since it's also been a long while since I've written anything for fun, but I hope y'all enjoy!!

Pairing: Blitz x Reader

Warning: Swearing

Word Count: 1.8K

You felt the anger boiling over as you and the other I.M.P. crew crossed into Hell from where you were on Earth. 

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Kill some cheating husband or something of the sort. It should have been a quick in and out, and to be fair, it was. That’s not what bothered you. 

For the past couple of missions, Blitz had taken away your chance to kill anyone. Every time you set up to kill the target, he would swipe in and kill them first, or he would have Millie or Moxxie take care of it. You knew you were one of the more recent additions to this business, but you had done more than prove yourself working with them in the first few weeks. It pissed you off, and this time around wasn’t any different. 

You were packing away your lunch quickly as you tried your best to mask your frustration and anger. 

“Are you good? You look like you want to bite off someone’s head,” Loona said as she took notice of how hard you were clutching your bag. 

“Just peachy,” you muttered as you began heading out. 

Luck, however, was not on your side as you remembered that the entire crew was supposed to go out for drinks that night. 

“Took you long enough, (Y/N)! The fuck were you doing anyways,” Blitz asked as you stepped back into the main lobby. 

You had to fight off a snarl that threatened to come out. Both Millie and Moxxie noticed something was wrong since your sweet demeanor was nowhere to be found. You took a breath before responding.

“I was packing up my stuff for the night,” you calmly responded, ensuring your emotions weren’t showing. You knew leaving it all pent up would end up bubbling over, but it hadn’t happened yet.

“You could just leave it here! Drinks are on me tonight!” 

You clutched your bag tighter and saw Moxxie looking back and forth between you and Blitz. 

Moxxie was the only one who knew about your crush on your boss because he happened to find you drunk at a bar one time and wanted to make sure you got home safe. Boy had you spilled a lot of information about your feelings that night. Luckily for you, Moxxie wasn’t the meddling type, though he did encourage you to tell Blitz how you felt. 

“Respectfully, sir, I’m really tired, and I just want to go home,” you said with a bit more hostility than you meant to.

The crew looked at you, confused. 

“Maybe we can do this another-“ Moxxie tried to interject, but Blitz interrupted him.

“The fucks got your panties in a twist?” 

You felt your eye twitch as Moxxie cringed. 

“I don’t know SIR. How about the fact that these past few clients we’ve had, you’ve managed to take the opportunity from me to kill them,” you spit out in exasperation. 

“Are you fucking serious right now,” Blitz moved closer to you, “You’re getting paid regardless. Why the fuck does it matter?” 

You clenched your fist tighter but stayed firm where you stood.

“I didn’t join this fucking business just to stand around and look pretty asshole!” 

You saw Blitz’s eye widen at the curse word since he wasn’t used to hearing it come from your mouth. 

“If you think I’m shit at my job, then fucking fire me or tell me what I’m doing wrong,” you yelled at him.

He remained speechless before you saw his expression change.

“Maybe I fucking should! At least someone who is actually pretty to look at, just in case, you bitch!” Blitz yelled in your face.

The silence that followed was extremely tense, as you and Blitz were suddenly very much in each other’s space. You felt your heart completely break, and Moxxie saw the quick, pained expression you couldn’t hide before becoming stoic. 

“Sir, that was uncalled for. They are highly skilled at their job. It would be a mistake-“ 

“No, you know what Moxxie? You heard it from the boss himself,” you laughed mirthlessly, cutting Moxxie off.  

You backed away from Blitz and picked up the bag you had dropped at some point during the screaming match. You began walking towards the door. Moxxie tried to stop you, but one stare showed that you weren’t fucking around. You heard Blitz sigh behind you.

“(Y/N), wait-“ Blitz started as you turned around quickly with your hand on the door handle.

“No, Blitz. I’ll make this easier for you. I fucking quit. Find someone better than me in all aspects,” you say harshly. 

You couldn’t help the tears that were pooling. Blitz’s eyes softened when he noticed, but you didn’t see it. You were ready to go, so you pushed open the door.

“You can’t just quit like that! On such short fucking notice! I can’t find someone that fucking quick,” Blitz yelled.

You couldn’t hear the desperation in his voice, only that he was yelling at you. 

“Don’t fucking yell at me! This business is no longer my fucking problem! God, I can’t believe I ever had feelings for you,” you scream at him as you walk out the door and slam it behind you. 

You were unaware of the chaos you left behind when that door closed.

~~

It had been a week since you quit I.M.P.

Luckily, you were wiser with your paychecks than Blitz, so you had enough to tide you over while you searched for a new job. 

Everyone except Blitz had come to visit you separately. The first and shortest visit was Loona. You had forgotten your favorite necklace in the office and begged her to drop it off. 

When she arrived, she was surprised to see you in disarray. Your hair was slightly messy, your eyes puffy, and you hadn’t changed out of your PJs. It was the day after, and you were utterly heartbroken. 

“Thanks, Loona,” you whispered as you took your favorite necklace back.

“No problem. Blitz saw me leaving with it, though. Moxxie managed to step in before he could reach me. Not like I would have handed it to him anyway.” 

There wasn’t much conversation before she decided to return to the office.

The following person to visit was Millie. Luckily, she saw you in a better state than Loona did, but your eyes hadn’t lost their puffiness. 

“Me and Mox miss you, (Y/N). It’s not the same without you,” Millie said as she passed you a pint of ice cream. 

“Right…”

“I’m serious! We know you’re good at killing, but you were also fun on the field!” Millie looked at you, and you knew she was being genuine. You thanked her, and she stayed with you that night, watching many movies. 

The last person to visit was Moxxie, who had much more to say.

“I’m sorry (Y/N), but what made you think that was the best way to confess?” Mox said as he stood right next to you in your bed. 

“It just came out, Mox. I didn’t mean to,” you sighed as you tried to fight off the tears again, “I wanted my words to hurt him as much as he did.”

After speaking those words out loud, you curled into yourself and silently cried. You heard Moxxie sigh.

“(Y/N), I really think you should talk to him,” Moxxie said, something in his tone. 

Still, you didn’t respond.

“I know he can be- “

“Moxxie….I need you to leave,” you said with a tear-filled voice. 

“(Y/N),” Moxxie tried to start again. 

“Please,” you begged. 

“Fine…I’ll be back, though,” he said, sighing. 

You felt a kiss on your head, and a few seconds later, you heard the door close. You let yourself cry and spend the rest of the day in bed.

~~

That was two days ago. You finally had enough and knew the money wasn’t never-ending. You began your job searching, but you weren’t having any luck.

You sighed as you dropped face-first on your couch, trying to forget all the horrible interviews you had been on today. You weren’t a perfect fit for any of the jobs, and you were beginning to wonder if it was worth it to return and get your job back.

You looked at the time and realized that you had been out all day. You decided to change into your comfy pajama shorts and tank top, deciding you weren’t going out anymore. If you were still working at I.M.P., you would have much more to do on a Friday night. 

You turned on the TV, letting it lull you to sleep as you spent another night alone.

~~

You were awoken at 1 AM by knocking on the door. You groaned as you wondered who could be waking you up at this hour. Moxxie did say he would be back, but you didn’t think it’d be in the dead of night. You yanked the door open, speaking before processing who stood before you.

“Damn it, Mox, I was slee-“ You cut off your words when you realized it wasn’t Moxxie in front of you, but Blitz.

You moved to shut your door again, but he shoved his foot in the door frame before pushing the door open and inviting himself in.

“That’s fucking rude,” Blitz said harshly as he took a look around your apartment.

“Says the asshole who’s inside an apartment that he wasn’t invited into,” you spat back at him. 

You saw Blitz roll his eyes and turn back to face you fully. You avoided his eye contact as you walked to your kitchen to get a drink of water. You heard the clicks of Blitz’s boots as he followed you.

As you filled your cup, you tried to think of what to say, but luckily, you wouldn’t have to.

“Can we talk?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Blitz,” you said as you moved past him to walk to your bedroom, “I don’t work for you anymore.”

“Christ on a stick (Y/N), can you stop being a bitch for 5 seconds,” Blitz told you as you set your water down on your nightstand.

“Get the fuck out of my room! No, out of my house,” you yelled, walking towards him, having half a mind to toss him out. 

“No, not until we fucking talk,” Blitz said as he closed your bedroom door and walked towards you.

“I’ve already said there’s nothing to talk about,” you yelled in exasperation.

“Fucking fine,” Blitz yelled back. 

You watched him turn to your door, hand on the handle. You were confused as to why he wasn’t leaving.

“Are you waiting for an invitation, Blitz!? Get the fuck out,” you began walking towards him again. 

“Fuck this shit,” you heard him mutter before he abruptly turned around.

You had no time to react before Blitz pulled you into him and kissed you hard. You let out a squeak of surprise, and Blitz used this to deepen the kiss. After the initial surprise, you began kissing back. The kiss was desperate, your teeth clashing and your pulse rising significantly.

You had no idea this was where the night would take you.

I hope that was fine! Please bear with me as I try to get used to Tumblr (and forgive any formatting errors)!

Also, please always let me know if I forgot to tag a warning!