Opinions are like Assholes

but I'm not here to eat opinions

[infertilityidol]

[tamamita]

[pluto-is-crashing-out]

[mclennonyaoi]

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

[milf--adjacent]

Let the historical record show that Mr. Beast was entirely ignorable if you were just like doing literally anything else. I've been on youtube as long as it's been around and I've never been recommended a video by him. I see him in passing as a meme. I thought he was a made up joke, a caricature of bad youtuber content miners until someone I trust confirmed his existence to me in late 2025.

[burntundertones]

[dear-julien]

Tectonic plates shifted, cities flooded, buildings collapsed, meteors struck the earth... Dua Lipa has been put on life support... people died.

[omgthatdress]

OH MY GOD?!

this could be the most Canadian thing since maple syrup

[johnfkennedaddy]

Call Me Maybe is so deep actually. If ‘before you came into my life I missed you so bad’ was sufjan Stevens, tumblrinas would have gotten it tattooed on their ribs in typewriter font.

[nudityandnerdery]

From the media that brought you "Millennials are killing [insert industry here]" articles for years and years and years, now we have....

"Hey, Gen Z, we're gonna relabel vacations into something else now and tell you how you really should be wary of taking vacation because it might impact your financial future."

This is a goddamn dystopia, we know this, right?

[rabid-transcendentalist]

[winteriine]

genuinely this reminds me of that one tumblr post about that cult indoctrination technique where they make unreasonable requests of you, and when you refuse, suddenly it’s YOUR fault for having a sense of self-care. it’s YOUR lack of commitment, YOUR lack of dedication — not the insane request of a company that does not actually care about you.

the idea that failure is an individual failing and not the oppressions of a broken system.

this is just flat-out manipulation. it really always has been, but this is the form it’s taking nowadays. crazy

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

[aflo]

*opens the oven after preheating to 400*

[mff-doom]

[jenlog]

this is from the 2000’s btw

[anarchopuppy]

Looks like @staff mistakenly censored this comic, which is an ironic and very funny thing to happen

Here it is again. You might want to save it just in case an accident like that happens again

EDIT: HMM. LOOKS LIKE OP WAS BANNED TOO. WHAT A FUNNY. IRONIC. ACCIDENT

[jeanritchie]

i love sending people my totaled car as a reaction image it’s so funny

[jeanritchie]

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

[spacemancharisma]

[utopians]

Passed the White Pharaoh on the freeway

[laikathestar]

[ectoimp]

[halondrus]

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

[halondrus]

art is not my strong suit but this is my best recreation of what i saw when i opened the window. i have to emphasize that she was supermodel levels of gorgeous