Super Quotes

[devinchee]

Do you guys ever see your pet sleeping by you and just think holy shit holy shit this little animal feels safe enough and trusts me enough to be near me and fall asleep near me and just how fucking cool is that

[valtsv]

i love the term “found family” because it can mean anything from “over the course of our epic adventure we gradually came to realize that we had found the loving home and family we were all searching for in each other” to “i woke up in the same dumpster as this troop of idiots who immediately forcibly inserted themselves into my life despite my loud and repeated objections and increased the amount of problems in it by 200% and it hasn’t even been a week but i’m already prepared to die for every single one of them without a moment’s hesitation”

[lightwolf]

“But what happens to health insurance industry workers if Medicare for All happens?”

They can get better jobs.

Maybe the government can look at this concern and find ways to place former health insurance industry workers in new jobs. In fact they can probably offer a lot of them new jobs since there will be an increased demand for Medicare staff.

Also why is it every time we suggest the removal of a predatory industry people suddenly manifest compassion for the little guy? Doesn’t matter to these people if a massive companies fires hundreds out of the blue for the sake of higher profits. But even look at Aetna funny and they start whining “won’t someone think of the workers!!”

[lambsprout]

“and the universe said…”

[disclosureday]

these middle schoolers are touring campus and one of them walked by me and said “hey what’s college life like” and i told him “it sucks” and he said “well it can’t be any worse than middle school.” he’s right

[not-mary-sue]

Take these words through your darkest hour, for though we maybe tired and hungry, at least we’re not in fucking middle school

[trueshredguitar]

have you ever started reading a book and just put it down and thought “i have read better fiction by fifteen-year-olds with microsoft word and a fanfiction.net account”

[jeza-red]

yes

[orriculum]

“I’m quite offended you never attended my tea parties Katherine….prepare to die.”

Aka what happens when you mix your odd cocktail toothpicks and antique figures

[nerdydanzr]

It's perfect

[nexya]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[charlesoberonn]

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

[terminallydepraved]

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

[loremerchant]

Ancient Shitposting

Now on the History Channel

[self-critical-automaton]

‘People have literally just always been people’ is genuinely my favorite fact about the world

[skaletal-deactivated20190721]

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC

[super-star-destroyer]

Common dog names have literally not changed in 3,000 years.

[ash-soka]

so not nearly as old but, this is a 12th century stave church in lom, norway (one of less than 40 left in the world)

it’s hard to see, but in the top left corner of this photo where the light comes in from the window, there’s a runic inscription

these photos show it more clearly, it’s easier to see in person. so of course one of the people i was travelling with asked what it said, and we were told it basically translates to:

“on this day, I climbed to this point, in the corner of the church”

people really have always been people

[poems-and-word]

[coolsaddad-blog]

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

[feels-for-the-fictional]

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

[marzipanandminutiae]

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

[ineptshieldmaid]

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

[squeeful]

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

[last-flight-of-dickarus]

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

My, how romantic!

[wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman]

DYING. I AM DYING.

[kiranovember]

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

[simonalkenmayer]

This post has evolved.

[minotaur-in-my-labyrinth]

I am 100 percent all for every part of this thread. I have laughed loudly and long. Thank you, thou glorious purple-hirple rhyme.

[nanajitter]

@sebastianstansjawline @captaindibbzy I feel you would delight in this

[broadlybrazen]

this is why i’m still on tumblr. where else can i get this caliber of wonderful, magical, batshit weirdness

[dankmemeuniversity]

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

“I always was a little outside life, —”

— Edith Sitwell, from The Collected Poems & Writings of E. S.; “Colonel Fantock,”

[kernaka]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Please help me I just ate enough smoked salmon and brie cheese to feed a family of five and then a mango and now I can't move

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Oh good I have rosé that will cure me

[pajamaslam-deactivated20190101]

the switch from ‘a girl worth fighting for’ to coming upon the decimated village in mulan is THE MOST kick-in-the-teeth mood change IN ALL OF CINEMA

[furikomaru-deactivated20190920]

That scene shift did more for our generation’s understanding of the horror of war in ten seconds than Game of Thrones did in eight seasons, and it did it without showing us a single dead body. 

[fandomtrashkaye]

I identify with Crowley because I, too want people to perceive me as a badass without emotions who would murder someone without a second thought but I, too have way too many emotions and am an Anxious Wreck™️ 100% of the time

[bookeworm94-deactivated20200223]

“The books I’ve read have made me. They’ve sharpened my mind, softened my soul. They’ve made me.”

—