🦄

😘😉

[endverse]

dean ♡ cas | 5.04 the end happy birthday ari @bipridedean!

[humorstar]

be careful…

[behind-the-student]

My therapist: you need to trust yourself

[black-to-the-bones-deactivated2]

[chilcanos-blog]

[noelroeimfisher]

hobbies: being asleep, getting ready to go to sleep, going to sleep, getting into my bed, waking up and realizing i can go back to sleep, sleeping, being in my bed (asleep), falling asleep,

[pariztexas-deactivated20210721]

The Addams Family (1991) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

[gettingintoknives]

i dont wanna be a “student” i wanna be a sleep

[bonesbuckleup]

My favorite thing about Cheddar the dog is that either Holt or Kevin named him Cheddar and I honestly don’t know which option is funnier.

[roachpatrol]

third, equally funny option: his name was already cheddar when they adopted him. both of them think it’s an absurd goddamn name but neither of them know you can just change an animal’s name if you don’t like it. no one ever told them and they’re both much too proper to even conceptualize this notion on their own. the dog was named cheddar and that’s very unfortunate but cheddar he will remain. 

[angelsarenamederika]

fourth, they were aware you could change an adopted animals name but let it remain Cheddar out of respect for his ‘birth’ parents

[unrealcosima]

Fifth, they named it after the historic village of Cheddar, Somerset in England, unaware people will associate it more with the type of cheese

[dancinbutterfly]

Sixth, they named him after the hard cheese from Cheedar in Somerset, England due the fact there are both orange and off-white types which parallels their pet’s coloring and Kevin and Raymond both appreciate the nobility of a product which is a cornerstone of a multibillion dollar cheese industry and has a history going back to the 12th century and furthermore

[jetzv]

Seventh, Cheddar is the only type of cheese that they both love.

[dancinbutterfly]

Eighth. Cheddar was Kevin’s mother dog, she chose the name and Kevin, dutiful son that he is, took him off her hands when she developed an allergy to dog dander at 78. Can you imagine? What unbridled weakness, and at her age. You see, Santiago, this why early exposure to allergens of all types is crucial for healthy antibody development and why I made a point to have as many encounters with low-level toxins as possible before my immune system was finished developing. You know, now that you and Peralta are discussing reproducing, you should really consider

[aleksanderro2]

This entire thread reads exactly like a conversation that would happen at the precinct before being interrupted by captain holt

[fluffygif]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[oldpoloniall-blog]

[chenisthebestkitty]

#scrubs#thats it thats the whole show

[mijomii]

Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same

[mijomii]

Me: I think I don’t exist.

Therapist: Listen, you do exist, and if you didn’t, someone would have to create you because the world would be a much sadder place.

Me: Jerome, how dare you saying something so sweet when I’m dissociating.

[mijomii]

Me: Honestly, (thing that is totally fucked up for any ‘sane’ person) is normal, right?

Therapist: No.

Me: Wow.

Therapist: You’re just a fucked up bitch.

Me: I do agree with the fucked up bitch part.

Therapist: That’s a start!

[mijomii]

Me: I guess he’s still my friend?

Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, he’s not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.

Me:

Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.

Therapist: Because that’s my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because you’re way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.

Me: I don’t need that kind of call out, Jerome.

[mijomii]

Me: Hey, I brought you coffee. And croissants too, but I ate them. *puts Starbucks coffee in front of him*

Therapist: Oh that’s nice!!... Oh my name is on it!!

Me: Yeah!!

Therapist: It’s wholesome but... *very confused and silently*... How do I drink it?

[mijomii]

Me, not being able to come to my appointment and having to call him: I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I’m so so so sorr-

Therapist: I dare you to say sorry one more time. I dare you.

[mijomii]

Therapist: Hey I wanna show you this super funny image I found the other day.

Me: What-

Therapist: *turns his screen and show me THIS* 

Me: 

Me: Jerome.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You went to the gaypride?

Me: Yeah, I went.

Therapist: Was it something you enjoyed?

Me: Mh. Yeah. Sorta.

Therapist: Did you see some bears?

Me:

Me: Jerome wh-

Therapist: That’s the only term I know outside of the LGTB one, I wanted to use it. 

[mijomii]

Therapist: Are you sure you’re not becoming roommate with (name) because of pity? Kinda sacrificing yourself?

Me: No, I want it!!

Therapist: Finally, you’re not forcing yourself for the others! And you’re doing something you want! I’m proud of you!

Me: You’re more of a dad than my own father.

Therapist: That’s not very hard.

[mijomii]

Me: I always wondered, are you queer?

Therapist: I am not.

Me: Ooh.

Therapist: Or am I?

Me: Ooh!

[mijomii]

As an update, Jerome gave my appointment to someone’s else today so we were both in the waiting room, confused and he walked in, patted my head and said sorry but honestly it was hilarious.

The secretary came to tell me that Jerome actually forgot to write me down on the appointment list.

This is a 100% normal situation with Jerome as my Therapist.

[mijomii]

As an addition, more than half of my friends want Jerome to adopt me and refer to him as “Therapist dad”.

He’s aware of it and think it’s hilarious.

[mijomii]

Me, after complaining for the 25 times about my birth father: Idk if you noticed, but I’m full of anger against him.

Therapist: Oh, really, I never noticed. You know, you should turn that anger into indifference. It would help you.

Me: Unholy gods, I wish it was me.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You know, people will still love you even if you don’t offer them things all the time. You don’t have to do that.

Me: What??

[mijomii]

Therapist: Why don’t you send a mail to your psychiatrist when you have a bad mood swing?

Me: Like what? ‘Hey Joël wassup, I’ve been very suicidal lately last night I wanted to die. Hope you have rad vacations and the weed is good save some good kush for me, kissy kissy.’ ?

Therapist: Exactly.

Me: You’re as bad as me with human interactions Jerome, y’know.

[mijomii]

Me, heavily dissociating: I don’t exist-

Therapist: Can I touch you to prove you that you do?

Me: Dinner first.

Therapist:

Therapist: Damien, you moron.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You need vacations.

Me: I’m broke.

Therapist: Oh yeah.

Therapist: You still need vacations tho.

Me: Jerome, I am still broke.

[mijomii]

Me, by text: Hey, you just walk by me!

Therapist, by text: Oh sorry. I didn’t see you.

Therapist, by text: Wait. Were you at the tattoo shop?

Me, by text, totally at the tattoo shop: You have no proof.

[mijomii]

For a bit of context here: Around two months ago I went to a friend’s who happened the live on the same street as Jerome, which I didn’t know. He was really surprised to see me and came to check on me, asking me why I was here with a bit of concern on his voice. And this take place earlier this month:

Therapist: So your friend lives in the same street than I?

Me: Yes. Town’s short I guess.

Therapist: Were you really going to your friend...?

Me: Yes?? Why else would I be here?

Therapist: A lot of drug deals happen in this street and I see often teenagers and young adults coming and buy stuffs. I was a bit worried for you.

[mijomii]

Me, at 2pm: I’m sorry I’m going to be late!

Therapist: Your appointment was this morning at 11:30am, Damien.

Me:

Me: What.

[mijomii]

Jerome is still not aware of his fame and idk how to announce him.

[mijomii]

Therapist; What’s up with you and wanting domestic rats.

Me: I’m gonna get a rat and call him Jerome just to piss you off.

Therapist:

Therapist: How dare you.

[mijomii]

Therapist: Weed doesn’t do much on me and I must admit I’m kinda disappointed.

Me:

Therapist: Do you smoke?

Me: Jerome.

[mijomii]

Therapist: The secretary is leaving so we are offering him-

Me: ONE KILOGRAM OF COCAINE.

Therapist: Exactly!!

Me: HELL YEAH

Therapist: No we are offering him a 100€ check so he can buy himself something nice.

Me: Cocaine sounded funnier.

Therapist: And very illegal. But yes.

[mijomii]

Me, by text: Hey I don’t know if you remember but around to seance ago I told you about a little comic of a dog looking in the mirror and thinking there’s another dog. I found it! Look it’s me when I dissociate!

Therapist, by text: First of all, how dare you thinking I’m old enough to forgot what you said two seances ago, and second of all: Haha yes it’s you!

[cherry52011]

I love that his name is Jerome, it makes me imagine a fully adult Jerome from Gotham not dead & is helping people with Mental Illness.

[cherry52011]

[just-shower-thoughts]

The word “swims” is the same upside down

[bella-likes-nutella-and-aca-blog]

smiws??

[eazyintheheezy]

upside down, not backwards. silly.

[bella-likes-nutella-and-aca-blog]

Ethan. If you turn a w upside down you get an m.

[eazyintheheezy]

oh i see what you mean. You’re kind of visualizing it like a flip side of a coin or card, take the word “swims” and turn it upside down by actually turning it 180 degrees. 

[bella-likes-nutella-and-aca-blog]

THATS WHAT UPSIDE DOWN MEANS

[eazyintheheezy]

bella do me a favor and literally write down the word on a piece of paper and turn it upside down

[bella-likes-nutella-and-aca-blog]

OKAY BUT I DONT SEE HOW THATS GONNA 

oh

[bella-likes-nutella-and-aca-blog]

[birdungehrl]

Ironically enough, your sad, angry smiley face will also read the same when turned upside down…

[ryanphantom]

this clip gives off an extremely strong gay aura

[thespringhasawoken]

this gets gayer every time i watch it

[tricktster]

Hey you guys want to see an actively hilarious bonsai tree?

[tricktster]

(source)

[deluxebug]

when you live in a tiny pot you have to flex even harder

[30-minute-memes]

Un-make me.