Nick Furious Memes

I'm sick of all these mothafuckin supers on this mothafuckin plane

[nick-furiousmemes]

"IT'S BLUEBERRY PICKING TIME! LET'S GO PICK BLUEBERRIES, GRANDPA NICK!" - Felan (Via Darcy)

Best time for the mothafuckin blueberries too! Damn proud of you!

[nick-furiousmemes]

Today's briefing is at that mothafuckin lamp post I once said looked like Banner's head at dusk. Whichever one of you isn't there has to head that stupid ass mission you all are trying to pawn off each other secretly.

[nick-furiousmemes]

^<^ Hello!

A great big hello to you too, Anon! You here for the 8:30am tour of all the bullshit the team keeps in this goddamn tower?

[quakememe]

Petition to fill up on vague mission reports with “it be like that sometimes”.

[memecaptainsteverogers]

Excuse me, I have to go circulate a petition amongst the Avengers…

[pepper-to-the-rescmeme]

Approved.

[scarletmemewitch]

can we substitute “because reasons” if we feel like it?

[pepper-to-the-rescmeme]

“It be like that” acceptable, “because reasons” opens up for rebuttal.

[scarletmemewitch]

look, “it be like that” doesn’t always cover the explanation. “it be like that” is a good excuse for “why did you eat a whole pizza?”

“because reasons” answers a broader scope, like “why did the surgeon general stab you with her heels?”

what i’m saying is we need to have a list of acceptable vague answers to cover all possible situations

[pepper-to-the-rescmeme]

Sorry I don’t make the rules, just approve them!

[scarletmemewitch]

find… @nick-furiousmemes, can you approve these?

[nick-furiousmemes]

Hell yeah, approved! Sometimes shit be like that. Sometimes you gotta stab that surgeon general and nobody need to bother you with mothafuckin paperwork about it because it be like it be

[memecaptainmarvel]

Scrooge it's me Felan! I'm a pirate now! Well because I gotta wear a patch because I shot my eye with a rubber bandy. It hurts kinda, but I get to be a pirate so it is not too terrible. Do you want to have a pirate princess tea party with me? You can dress up as a pirate or a princess or both or neither. YOU COULD DRESS AS A ASTRO NUT! I have to get my drops put in now an that's icky, but I get a sticker if I don't fuss so it's good. Okay love you bye!

Oh Felan, I’d love to have a pirate princess tea party! You’re being a very brave girl, putting up with the eyedrops like that.

[d-lewis-avengerwrangler]

“It’s kinda hard to see with only one eye, I’m like half of Daredevil! Only I’m not as good at ‘park or’ and punching. But I am learning that stuff! Also I run into stuff a lot. I knocked over a lamp with my face and tripped over the coffee table so Mama said “How about you be a pirate instead of half of Daredevil?” And so I dressed up as a pirate with a flouncy skirt but no sword because Daddy’s got it.” (we told her Loki’s fixing it and it’ll take a while, please don’t offer to get her a new one, I’d like to keep her as uninjured as possible while her depth perception is shot to hell) “I don’t have a bird like pirates do, but I have my mouse Basil and pirate ships had lots of mice and also rats. Not nice ones like Basil but gross ones with diseases. People die from those. I got to pick out a new sticker for letting Mama do my drops and I picked this one that Mama can put on the screen when I am done telling her what to type.  Do you want sandwiches with tea? We bought jelly and there is peanut butter or my favorite ham that I will share with you if you want.” (Good lord, this child. I love her to bits, but she speaks almost entirely in run-on sentences and non sequitur. Here’s the sticker she chose)

[memecaptainmarvel]

Cardboard sword-shaped cutouts ok?

[d-lewis-avengerwrangler]

On your head be it, dude. I’m not kidding about her depth perception sucking ass, Carol. She’s like a tiny drunk person, reaching for things that are at least an inch to the left of where she thinks they are.  Also, lots of spinning around has been occurring. Any time she hears something coming from her blind side she spins her entire body around instead of just turning her head. @nick-furiousmemes thinks it’s a scream. She spent most of yesterday afternoon in his office, stapling his papers, coloring in her book, and demanding a skittle every time he swore. She’s not there today because I’m not dealing with her getting sick from eating so many skittles on top of everything else.

[nick-furiousmemes]

Listen, it's a damn good system. Kids need to know that when they swear they get skittles. We bamboozled the mothafuckin eye patch too

[marvelparksdept]

[notagiraffe]

@nick-furiousmemes

[nick-furiousmemes]

Ya goddamn right. Stupid ass complaint .

[nick-furiousmemes]

Nothing fills me with more mothafuckin rage than when I lose leather jacket #47. How the hell am I supposed to be angry without my damn angry looking jacket?

[nick-furiousmemes]

Hello Grampa Nick it is Felan an I have a question to ask you can I ask you it now or are you busy so I have to wait until later to ask you it?

Ain’t doing nothin but shining up my guns Felan. What’s on ya mind?

[d-lewis-avengerwrangler]

“When I watched Star Wars I thought I saw (Grandpa Nick) there with a cool purple light saver and I was confused, because you weren’t wearing your pirate eye thing, and then I wondered if that’s how come you have to wear your pirate eye thing because maybe you got an owie fighting robots.” …I’m not sure if she’s asking if you’re Mace Windu, or if you lost your eye in a robot fight…

[nick-furiousmemes]

Well Felan, depending on who you ask, I got my eye patch a few different damn ways. But mostly fighting the goddamn fight. Sometimes the fight is mole men in the sewers and sometimes it's killing fuckin clone droids with a purple lightsaber. The important thing is that you wield a weapon that makes your trenchcoat flap gloriously in the goddamn wind

[nick-furiousmemes]

Happy Mothafuckin Valentine's Day y'all! Let me see your favorite Valentine's day cards starring your favorite goddamn Director and I'll let you out of one training session with a badass mission

[nick-furiousmemes]

Happy Felan times day Grandpa Nick! I love you! I have cookies! With sprinkles! Love Felan

Well I'll take one of the cookies if you promise you won't tell about this giant ass chocolate middle launcher I got for you!

[nick-furiousmemes]

Hello Grampa Nick it is Felan an I have a question to ask you can I ask you it now or are you busy so I have to wait until later to ask you it?

Ain't doing nothin but shining up my guns Felan. What's on ya mind?

[nick-furiousmemes]

Happy New Year, mothafuckas! My resolution is to kick even more ass this year and set a record for most scotch drank during those goddamn obligatory team building exercises that the board is bringing down even harder this year...

[love-buckybarnes]

We have 1 day till the FCC votes on Net Neutrality. Let’s give them hell today, call them none stop, jam up the phones, tell them to they can’t take our freedom of speech away. Let’s do whatever it takes for them to stop being asses and show them they can’t take/do what the hell they want. We will not give up without a fight!

Save Net Neutrality

TEXT ‘RESIST’ TO 50409 TO CONTACT YOUR CONGRESSMEN AND SENATORS! 

Call the FCC (leave a voicemail) at ‭202-418-1000‬

Email these people:

[email protected]

[email protected]

mike.o'[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

1. Click gofccyourself.com

2. Click “+Express”

3. Check that “Proceeding(s)” is pre-populated with 17-108.

If not, type 17-108 and click enter.

4. Under the “Name(s) of Filer(s)” field, add your name, click enter

5. Add your address

6. Under “Brief Comments,” do your worst. Here’s a basic template:

Dear FCC Chairman Ajit Pai,

I support the existing Net Neutrality rules, which classify internet service providers under the Title II provision of the Telecommunications Act. Please DO NOT roll back these regulations. Thanks!

7. Click “Continue to review screen,” check your submission, click submit

[nick-furiousmemes]

MOD NOTE:

If anyone hasn't blown up their congressman's inbox with calls and emails and texts, please do so. Open internet is so important for people who love social media as an escape, to keep current with the world, or just want to have fun. Not to mention the people who use it for work. All it takes is a call or a text or an email to help try and save the internet.

[nick-furiousmemes]

Time to put up the mothafuckin tree! Anyone who tells me that my pistols ain't technically ornaments is getting their ass beat

[nick-furiousmemes]

2. If you don't trust people much, but you do love them... Which Avenger (not just the originals, like, EVERYONE) do you trust most? What about least? And who do you like the most and least? And why?

Hmmm. I'd say, but not telling makes all of them fight for my affection right before Christmas time and the Director needs himself a new sweet ass turtleneck

[nick-furiousmemes]

Hi, Director Fury! I have a question. Well, actually two questions. But I shall ask them separately. 1: What's your absolute favorite curse word to use in awkward (or any) situation?

Can't go wrong with Ass-hat. Somethin beautiful about telling someone they got their goddamn head up their own ass

[nick-furiousmemes]

GRANDPA NICK IT IS ME FELAN LOOK AT ALL MY CANDY DO YOU WANT SOME I WILL SHARE IT WITH YOU CUZ I LOVE YOU!

Hell yeah i want some damn candy! You got any Reeses?