blog raiders

[tsarina-anadyomene]

most teletransporter clones don't have enough time to accumulate sin and so go straight to heaven the next time they go in the teletransporter

[toroidalearthtruther]

there seems to be a fundamental disagreement between microwave oven manufacturers and the producers of microwave meals over whether the customer should know the wattage of their microwave or if such details should be abstracted away from them

[toroidalearthtruther]

the microwave rice demands 800 watts of power for 2 minutes, but all the microwave can offer me three settings: one low, one high, and one somewhere in the middle. I turn it to the one in the middle as I happen to know 800W is the average power of most microwaves. the light comes on and the bag of rice starts slowly turning, but rather than hearing the usual rumble of the microwave, I instead start hearing short snippets of conversation - words snatched from the ether. the lights flicker and a chill runs up my spine. the voices remind me of those "spirit boxes" ghost hunters use. I double check the setting on the microwave. "ah," I say, remembering that I had set it to medium,

[catsandwich-deactivated20240213]

This is a literal sexual harassment training video we had to complete

[quendergeer]

i assumed this was porn

[plaguedocboi]

I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

They are more closely related to human beings than to octopuses

[elbiotipo]

introducing a new character, Sun-Tzu But If He Sucked

[elbiotipo]

we have to hit them harder and they'll surrender no half measures time to take the gloves off

if you kill their leaders they'll just surrender trust me bro it happens in Age of Empires

the more you spread your logistics around contractors that have a monopoly on your weapons production the more you produce bro

you know what wins wars? having the most badass manly soldiers they should all be like total badasses with cool guns

you just have to strike bro no half measures gloves off don't care about what comes after you just have to declare war just declare war what are you a pussy

[apricops]

stop stop stop making appeals to some 'natural state of humanity.' war and slavery and xenophobia are in fact some of the most universal human behaviors ever recorded. humans do not have any kind of innate Noble Spirit that is being corrupted. You can just say "war is bad because it hurts people" you can just leave it at that! that should be an effective statement just by itself! shut the fuck up about Essences!

[seanofbeankeep]

Imagine getting expelled from school for being an atheist and years later that school builds a monument to you but of your dead drowned corpse with your dick out.

They do it all classy though but still

[d0gg-rr4tt3zz]

The present study explored the relations between self-reported aspects of gender identity and sexual orientation in an online sample of 4756

no fucking way

[shrine-of-the-exoletus]

Maybe I should go to therapy

[penisdickcockpenis]

[theonion]

Expressing regret that the interruption would delay the highly anticipated video game adaptation, the producers of A24’s upcoming Elden Ring film announced Tuesday that the project had stalled after a red phantom named TwinkPunisher invaded the set. “Despite our security team’s best efforts, a loincloth-wearing invader with the handle TwinkPunisher was able to gain access to the shoot through the use of a Festering Bloody Finger, disrupting production for the foreseeable future,” said a spokesperson for the studio, adding that TwinkPunisher had tauntingly placed a Rainbow Stone on the ground for every take he managed to render unusable by performing the “warm welcome” gesture, by obscuring the actors with the Ekzykes’s Decay incantation, or by repeatedly spamming the “You’re beautiful” Prattling Pate over dialogue.

Full Story

[st-just]

as a general rule, just as a credibility thing, if you fancy yourself an essayist then imo you should try really really hard to make sure your piece of biting social/political/cultural commentary doesn't even appear to be coping and seething over your last breakup or a crush hooking up with someone else.

Which like, I would naively think is actually a pretty easy thing to avoid. And yet...

[caesarsaladinn]

join me in imagining a horrible alternate universe in which the silmarillion holds the same iron grip on national security analysts as thucidydes does today

[centrally-unplanned]

Can't believe we didn't burn the ships after landing at D-Day; no wonder breaking out of the Normandy Pocket took over a month! No motivation, Feanor would have fixed this.

[tim-official]

neopronouns are all well and good but as long as we're adding words to the english language there's much cooler things we could add too. lets add inclusive and exclusive "we." a variant of "we" that distinguishes between "we (including listener)" and "we (including the speaker but not the listener)". other languages have this. Let's add the obviative case to our third-person pronouns so that we can distinguish between two people of the same gender - a him-[salient] and a him-[less salient]. this would make it much easier to write sex scenes where two people use the same pronouns. why aren't our proud pronoun warriors working on this

[bewbin]

Okay now the donkey is just dragging it. He's eating shit like melons and dates and other fruits but it just doesn't hit the same

[bewbin]

i called him a one trick p*ny and apparently that’s like really racist to call a donkey i’m sorry

[card-designers-without-borders]

[markovchaingang]

going to see a medium and asking "are the spirits in the room with us right now" but she thinks i'm quoting that one tweet to express doubt in the existence of spirits and starts getting mad at me so i'm forced to make a swift exit from her apartment whilst dodging crystals thrown at distinctly non-healing velocities

[markovchaingang]

if the semen retention guys actually believed that shit then the optimal lifestyle for testosteronemaxxing would involve obtaining the semen of other men to absorb into their body, and yet still most of these men are instead killing their gains by only saving their semen. i believe this is what economists would refer to as a "revealed preference" for staying a beta soyboy cucked by modernity rather than enjoying the oldest and most traditional recorded homosocial bonding activity between men

[markovchaingang]

feudal cum lord demanding weekly tithes from all the men in his fiefdom. the serfs have no choice but to acquiesce, as years of routine ejaculation have left their sword hands smooth and effeminate, their muscles atrophied, their chests bare and hairless. they could not possibly hope to last in combat against a true androchad