intro post
my name is nicolaus/nick.
i go by he/him pronouns.
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izzy's playlists!

roma★
NASA
YOU ARE THE REASON

shark vs the universe

Discoholic 🪩
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Origami Around
tumblr dot com
Today's Document
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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d e v o n
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sheepfilms

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i don't do bad sauce passes

oozey mess
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@nickbutnodick
intro post
my name is nicolaus/nick.
i go by he/him pronouns.
continued under the cut
Thank you divorce for all you've done for music
sister post to this
people love to pretend rap is THE misogyny genre and that for some mysterious reason, it’s the ONLY genre defined by its misogyny. and, in fact, it’s PRAXIS to hate rap and never listen to it. how very interesting! i wonder what that reason could be! can any of YOU imagine what that reason may be? 🤔
White people do reblog without going "I'm white but—" "As a white person—". If you have a story about another Black or brown person's experience, then share it without drawing attention to your whiteness, or share what made you laugh in the tags and move on.
Special shoutout to all the queer, intersex, and trans het folks. Sorry for all the “it’s illegal to be straight this month” jokes you’ll have to endure. Y’all are still very much part of the community.
First humans ever to leave the solar system suddenly drop out of communications and the ship can't be found with any equipment. After one month of no contact their home countries start reluctantly holding funerals for the space heroes only for them all to turn up, healthy, well fed and extremely disoriented, in the middle of Tokyo, talking about alien abduction. Turns out that aliens found the poor humans straying out of their solar system, presumably lost, and took them to Alien Wildlife Rehabilitation before dumping them back in the middle of their native habitat.
#bonus points if none if the crew are Japanese#aliens just dropped where they thought was best
I literally just googled "city with the highest population"
I’ll bet they have cool new tattoos that turn out to be tracking devices too. Just in case these spirited individuals try to make another break for it.
... do the tats make them stupid popular, like that time scientists gave birds tracker anklets and it accidentally made them ultra fuckable
Let’s say yes. Those alien scientists are learning so much, and none of it is accurate.
anyone else notice how when "digital assistants" were just supposed to do specific tasks when you asked for them we had Alexa and Siri and Cortana, but now that they're being marketed as smart enough to take actions and make decisions on their own they've got names like Claude and Devin
@namanie @tsunderrated the point isn't "fake names -> real names," it's "feminine names -> masculine names"
oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do
For context: Jonis Josef is a famous Norwegian comedian.
earlier I was coming back up from skating and one of the starstruck little kids from across the hall asked me, “how are you allowed to drive on the inside?” (referring to the fact that I carefully skate in the hallway and elevator, because swapping shoes on and off for the one-block commute to and from the park is a massive pain in the ass), and I swear to god the dialogue options that flashed up on my heads-up display were
[] Nothing in the lease explicitly says I can’t, and all uncodified rules are merely suggestions
[] I’m probably not, but the only people in this building who are fast enough to actually stop me are the maintenance guys who are all charmed by my kind green eyes and adorable dog
[x] I ate all my vegetables and did my homework so my mom said I’m allowed to do whatever I want
i think every british journalist should just be gunned down
On the small soggy wet archipelago that makes up the modern day united kingdom, sunny days are a rare phenomenon. As such, the peoples of england cherish each and every one, even going so far as to write songs about them in their local music. With sunlight in such high demand, to block it deliberately is nigh unthinkable, hence their cultural confusion at the invention of the parasol.
The poet exists in fragments, so does the poetry.
the other day I saw a woman distracted driving using the calculator app
Official silly sign
Human Quirks for Non-Humans to discover
the chain reaction a single yawn can cause
the sense to recognize something that looks human but is not quite human (uncanny valley)
getting songs stuck in their heads
the urge to sneeze but being unable to do so
not being able to breathe from laughter sometimes
the reactions caused by tickles
acting fairly casual about pain in their most vital body parts (head)
neurodivergent symptoms as a whole
It's always "stop harming yourself or we'll have to lock you up!!!" and never "what do you need to change to want to harm yourself less and how can we help you make some of these changes?" and that's why we're not getting anywhere
common questions people ask me: why are you actually nice?