“Nico di Angelo”

Hmu on my insta @nico_da_demigod

[nico-da-demigod]

Nico: Will is one out of a small number of my acquaintances that I don’t actively root against.

Nico: Damn, there I go getting all sappy.

[nico-da-demigod]

Percy: Mom, I need to tell you something that I should’ve told you a long time ago.

Sally: *sets Percy’s baby down* What is it?

Percy: I’m not a virgin anymore.

[nico-da-demigod]

Nico: If you’re ever sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

[nico-da-demigod]

Percy: I have swim practice tomorrow morning so I’ll probably be gone before you guys wake up

Jason: Ew morning practice

Nico: Ew water

[nico-da-demigod]

Percy: Who’s dick do I have to suck to suck some dick around here?

[nico-da-demigod]

Piper: *gets drunk*

Piper: *dresses up as santa*

Piper: *goes caroling by herself*

Piper: *throws up in a kid’s candy basket*

Kid: *cries*

Piper: *cries*

[nico-da-demigod]

Nico: Valentine’s Day isn’t the day to run away from love, it’s a day to track it down, tie it up, and take it home.

[nico-da-demigod]

Will: you’re bleeding out and you’re going to need a transfusion. What’s your blood type?

Nico: B positive

Will: I’m trying to but you’re bleeding a lot.

[nico-da-demigod]

Percy: If something big happens, I hope it kills me. I don’t think I would make a very inspiring disabled person.

[nico-da-demigod]

Nico: I am so stupid... genuinely illiterate. I am the dumbest bitch alive

Someone: you’re stupid

Nico: Einstein Wants What I Have

[nico-da-demigod]

Nico: I remember when I was a kid I could go to the store with $1 and come back with 3 bags of chips, 2 candy bars, 6 packs of starburst, and a cold drink.

Nico: Nowadays there are cameras everywhere.

[nico-da-demigod]

Nico: Idaho?

Nico: More like YouDaHoe

[nico-da-demigod]

Percy: When British people say “maths” I laugh because that’s freaking stupid

Australian CHB exchange kid: When Americans say “math” a laugh because that’s freaking stupid

Leo: When teachers say “math” I cry because I’m freaking stupid

[nico-da-demigod]

Will: Say no to drugs!!

Nico: *whisper* say yes to drugs

Percy: It doesn’t matter what u tell drugs, cause if you’re talking to drugs you’re taking drugs

[nico-da-demigod]

Drew: What’s the best drug to have sex on?

Nico: Birth control

[nico-da-demigod]

Nico: My blood is glowsick juice. That’s why my bones crack whenever I move.

Will: Explains how you bring light to everyone around you too <3

[nico-da-demigod]

Percy: Wait, silverfish are real? They’re not just a Minecraft thing??

Percy: Thank god that skeletons don’t exist irl. That would be seriously fucked up

Nico: Hey Percy

Percy: Hey!! What’s up?