Nisa’s Prism

A kaleidoscope of ever shifting colors, fading in and out of each other throughout time. Something dramatic like that. Pardon my abysmal grammar, I’m blind and using speech to text.

[nisa4444]

I would like to give a shout out to The really fun and completely accessible Text based our PG path of Ascension on itch.io. I’ve never seen it on any accessible game let’s like Applebis or audio games.net, but from what I can tell, it’s completely accessible and playable through the browser on iOS using a screen reader. Since it’s a web game, I imagine it is playable other places as well.  I would put it on those lists myself, but don’t know how to. The game is listed as being underactive development, but from what I can tell, hasn’t been updated since 2024. It is super addictive and fun, with turn based combat and a heavy focus on character growth. As the player, you get to choose how you want your character to grow and in what areas. I have been playing this game nonstop for three days, and just love it even more the more I play it. I’m starting to run into content that doesn’t work though, because it is still in “active development,” and I really want to keep playing this game. Since I know how the blind community, including me, can be about our RPG‘s, I’m giving this game a shout out so hopefully we can come together and back this developer. I doubt they even know that the game is accessible.

It is a NSFW furry vore game, with a rather graphic, and in my opinion, very good writing, so if that bothers you, don’t seek out the game. I play it more for its merit as an RPG, but I would be lying if I said that the furry vore  sex stuff doesn’t add to its appeal. It’s a very interesting game world.

So blind gamers, Furrys, RPG lovers, and anyone else who might be interested in this hidden gem, please back the developers so I can keep playing this awesome game!

Sorry about spelling and grammar, for some reason, Tumblr just would not let me edit any of this after I wrote it using speech to text. 

PCWorld helps you navigate the PC ecosystem to find the products you want and the advice you need to get the job done.

[nisa4444]

Today my funny numbers are, in no specific order, 613, 115, 521, 826, and 1020. 

[nisa4444]

When I was about nine years old, reading the Harry Potter books, I created a code system that I referred to as biography numbers. Essentially, it was the book in which a character was introduced, and the book in which they died in the form of a usually two digit number. if someone was introduced in book 2 and died in book 5, they would be a 25 and if, heaven forbid, they were born in book 4 and died in book 7, they were a 47!

From that point forward, I I use that simple number system to talk about all kinds of fictional characters. Primarily, to talk about my fictional crushes without saying their names, which I could never ever do. Some of the “ funny numbers”  were, 47, 14, 17, 613, 3745, and my favorite, 13. Yeah, I was a weird kid, and fun in math class.

I’ll never forget that time on a math worksheet The answer was 613. I was totally fangirling 

[nisa4444]

I’m so mad at Amazon Prime right now!!! So I’ve been watching Grim for the past few months using audio description with no problem., but when I reached season four episode one, it just wasn’t audio described. Like, just that one episode didn’t have audio description. The next one did, and the one after that. Luckily for me, I have a nice mom who was willing to describe it for me, but I can’t imagine what that would be like for other blind viewers trying to watch the series. This isn’t the first time prime has done this either. I was so excited when the show hell of a boss, one that a lot of my online friends are obsessed with, finally came out on prime with audio description so I could watch it, but randomly, season two episode 12 was not described. Mom had to bail me out on that one as well. I don’t know why this happens, or why it seems to only be prime that does this, but it’s infuriating! Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate having audio description at all, but not having it in one episode in the middle of the series is such a pain. I was watching Grim again last night and Lowe and behold, season four episode seven is also not audio described. I have no idea how any of this works, but it’s driving me crazy. Like, it’s one thing if a show is just not audio described but a totally different thing If a random episode in the middle isn’t accessible.

[nisa4444]

So back in 2021, when I was 16, I got this sparkly red devil tail at a spirit Halloween. I remember it had a ton of symbolic value back then, and the symbolism has only grown with time. I kept it in my room in one of those ottoman bench things with some other random stuff, and when I moved from that house to the house I live in now, which is just the guest house behind The one I was in before, I remember finding that old tail in one of the bins under my bed. Later, when I started getting super nostalgic for that time, I went looking for it, and I swear the thing disappeared into the ether. I looked up and down that time, and then again when I needed it for a Halloween costume later. Last night, without any prompting, I dreamt about finding that tail, and decided to take up the hunt again this morning. Still no luck. I don’t know what I was expecting, but perhaps it would magically turn up? It’s just crazy because the fact that that thing disappeared without a trace and with nowhere it could’ve possibly gone just makes it even more symbolic and makes me want to find it even more. 

[nisa4444]

I have this scar on my forehead that I got when I was 18, and now whenever anyone asks about it, I have to explain that I flailed myself dramatically off of an ottoman and directly into the corner of a wall while having a meltdown. I Have flailed myself dramatically many times in that room in the past, but mom remodeled it, and I wasn’t aware of the danger. The worst part is, I barely even registered the pain or the fact that I was bleeding profusely and just kept on screaming about what I was screaming about beforehand. I’m glad I’m not 18 anymore. 

[nisa4444]

So I really want to try to promote my AI music on here because I proud of it and put actual work into it, but I’m afraid that y’all are going to chase me off the platform with torches and pitchforks lol. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand why people, especially on this platform, don’t love AI, and I find it super problematic as well, but I’m blind and have always wanted to create my own music and been unable to do so, because of the general in accessibility of music making apps. Yes, I know it’s possible, and yes, I know, blind people make music, but I don’t really have anyone to teach me how to make music as a blind person and the AI has worked really well for me. All of my work is moderate to high effort, mostly instrumental covers of pre-existing songs where I record myself humming the tune in a specific pitch and with a specific tempo and then give the AI a prompt for how to cover it. It’s been a great way to sort out my emotions, and I want to show off!

So my question is, if I post links to some of my AI music on here, will I be burned at the stake? 

[nisa4444]

Why is my dashboard nothing but lesbian smut and vague inspirational quotes 

[nisa4444]

I love how it seems like every time I fall for a fictional character. It seems to follow the same general story arc. I get kidnapped by them in a dream, I call on my friends to help, and they either rescue me, or more likely, just leave me there with said fictional because “i want it.” 

I don’t know if that’s super toxic or super supportive honestly, and I also don’t know how they decide when to save me and when to just leave me there with the fictional. 

[nisa4444]

Can someone please make some sort of animal simulator game that’s accessible to the blind. I used to play animal simulators all the time when I was a kid, before I knew accessible games existed, because they’re usually wasn’t much reading involved and, although I was never particularly good at them, I could play fairly well without help. Now that I know that audio games are a thing, and there are plenty of 3D environments in first person games that are entirely audio based, I just can’t wait for someone to make some sort of audio based animal simulator to tie back to my childhood. Like, I grew up on gluten-free games. 

[nisa4444]

So today, I had this utterly unintelligible conversation with my mom. I was saying that I had FOMO, and every time I said the word FOMO, I would tap my finger on the side of my head. Mom asked why I was doing that, and I was like, you know the white rabbit from Allison in Wonderland? Like the whole going down a rabbit hole and I’m gonna be late. I’m gonna be late thing? Well, you know how some rabbits are nostalgic, but there’s two types of rabbits and its some point of rabbits turn into cats? Suffice to say, she was far more confused after I explained that then before.

The thing is, they’re actually is an intelligible reason why I do that, somewhat at least, a certain person. voice is in a pitch that seems to give me migraines, and that person’s more, especially as it pertains to the things I’m interested in, it’s very heavily tied to the concept of FOMO, so I was tapping on my head to distract the migraine demon from what I was talking about of course.

Like, I tried to explain my  weird brain things in a way people can understand, but when those things are new, uncomfortable, or literally give me migraines, I end up just going on about how at some point rabbits turn into cats lol.  

[nisa4444]

Does anyone else ever have a legitimate question that you really want the answer to, but are too awkward or uncomfortable with actually asking the question, so you put it into some sort of utterly unintelligible code and just ask it anyway expecting someone to actually know the answer or even know what you’re trying to ask? Like, this happened to me twice in the past month. Did I encounter coyotes during the twilight age? Are there wolves in Zambia? Both code for legitimate questions that I have and one answers to, but I’m certainly not going to get any answers by asking them like that.  

[nisa4444]

Hello infinite yawning abyssal void that is the Internet. My migraines are a bit better, so I’ve returned. 

[nisa4444]

I have a ton of inside jokes, with myself!

So I’ve always had my own sort of language, not really a whole language, but just a bunch of references and seemingly random stuff that have a lot of significance in my mind. Anyway, yesterday, I found myself taking an Aleve and when I grabbed the bottle, I said, out loud in front of people, ha ha got to take my byproxyn. Of course, no one knew what the heck I was talking about, but it was funny for me. That one seems to be because the word naproxen kind of sounds like byproxyn, and the word by proxy is funny in my mind as it ties back to some. Sexy lore.

Today, I was shopping at Costco with my mom, and she mentioned picking up a coffee stout. I just about died of laughter. Coffee is definitely a funny word, for reasons I would prefer not to get into. Other “ funny words” include the words pad, nintendogs, and #TheDogsTrademark. 

Most of those are just references I’ve picked up throughout my life which make my brain go brrr, #TheDogsTrademarkBeingSomethingSomeoneSaidInADreamOnce. ILoveMyWeirdLittlePersonalReferences,ButINeedToGetOutMoreAndGetInsideJokesWithPeopleOutsideOfMyDreams as well.  

[nisa4444]

Flexible survival is legitimately a good game.

As a blind person with an ever hungry mind and limited attention span, I’ve often found it hard to consistently have a game to play. Flexible, survival though, I feel like I can just pick up and play at any time and it never seems to get old, even if it does get repetitive. For those of you who don’t know what flexible survival is, congratulations, you’re not a pervert like me lol. From what I can tell, flexible survival seems to be most known on the Internet as that weird overly sexual textbased game with the mutations and crazy disproportionate body part madness. All of that is definitely true, the game is set in a post apocalyptic world where nanites have caused people to mutate into these sex crazed creatures who must spread the infection by any means necessary, usualy via sexual contact. Apparently there are two versions of the game, the one I play is the multi user dungeon version, which is quite accessible, probably the most accessible mud I played, and really a lot more than a sex game. The reason I love it so much is all the different crazy creatures. Seriously, they have some really interesting and creative ones like the pale hydra, which is this multi headed dragon beast thing that lives on these icy mountains, and my personal favorite, the slither kitten, a sickeningly cute half snake half kitten creature from the moon. Apparently these creatures are often created by players, so there’s so many different minds going into this from so many different angles. You got anthropomorphic animals like wolves, foxes, birds, and animals I didn’t even know existed until playing. There’s also fantasy creatures like dwarfs, elves, dragons, griphons, etc. There are even horror beasties, zombies, specters, banshees vampires, and ghosts. They’re seriously just so much and some pretty cool locations to explore as well. Not only is the game full of imaginative creatures, all with very detailed text descriptions I might add, but it also has some storyline quests and more to make it more than just a open world hack/adventure. There’s so much you can do in the game that I haven’t even discovered yet. My character is a nanite adept, Something I had to pay real money for, but let me shift into any creature form I’ve mastered at any time, so I’m just going around trying to master as many forms as possible. The only grievances I have with the game are the amount of in app purchases, they have a premium currency called Mako, which you need to pay real money for, but can also earn through various means, usually role-playing, which I generally don’t feel comfortable doing. If you want to have a supernatural dedication, something that gives you more interesting powers, you have to pay the premium currency to get it. There’s also a bunch of other stuff you can use Mako for Like your own house in the game. I wish you could work your way up to that point naturally, without purchasing, as it makes the whole experience, feel kind of fake. I mean, you could technically sign in a new character for the first time and buy a house with real world money. Also, I wish the game world itself was more interactive. It feels like most locations are just descriptions, and well, quite detailed and vivid, it’s like a 2-D background with very few items I can actually interact with in game. All that being said, flexible survival really is a good game in my book, one of the only muds with turn based combat, which immediately gives it a huge bonus. If any of this made you curious, please do go check it out. there’s crafting, classes, and so much more that I haven’t even gotten into, not to mention all the freaky sex stuff. I don’t really play it for the sex, but I would be lying If I said it hasn’t turned me on a few times. I want to support what these developers are making. It’s a reliable place to go when I’m bored, and at its core, another wonderful accessible turn based RPG experience. Please, guys, go check out flexible survival if only to promote more accessible games for me to play so I don’t go insane from boredom! 

OK, I’m three post deep into procrastinating going to bed, but it’s getting legitimately hard to form sentences at this point, so I think I’m best off heading the heck to sleep. Night night. 

[nisa4444]

Tumblr, please, by God, be more accessible! Seriously! Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate that I’m able to even be here at all considering that I wasn’t when I first tried Tumblr as my screen reader just completely did not work on the platform. Now, though, I am discouraged to use Tumblr because of the accessibility problems it still has. First of all, trying to engage with threads is nigh impossible and incredibly tedious and frustrating, because when I click on the notification that someone responded to me, instead of taking me to where the relevant response was, it just takes me to the post, and I have to go through the sometimes thousands of notes to find the pertinent one, again and again, each time I want to interact. Mind you, I cannot just skim through the notes to find where I left off, I have to go through each reply, one by one to find the right one, and usually, I honestly just give up once a thread reaches a certain length. not only that, but navigating the notes themselves can be difficult, as there are a number of unlabeled buttons, so I just kinda have to guess quite a bit. The second big problem I’ve been having is that sometimes, Tumblr just literally will not let me edit parts of a post. Like, when I try to scroll through Word by Word, my screen reader makes the sound like I hit a word, but doesn’t say anything. Just blank, nothing. If I want to edit something when it’s doing this, I have to count the words in a sentence and kind of guesstimate where to put the cursor to change what I want to edit. That is ridiculously tedious for just trying to make a post! And with my rampant perfectionism and obsession with my communication coming across exactly as I intended it, I found myself just rage quitting on post before because of this issue. Finally, the third and probably least annoying, but still annoying problem I have is that there’s no way to filter videos and images out of my dashboard. Like 65% of my dashboard is content that I cannot interact with at all and cannot even properly view, so I feel like I’m constantly Scrolling through a ton of hay to find the rare needle in the proverbial stack. Tumblr, I appreciate that you’re trying, but seriously, please! I’m using voiceover on Apple by the way if that helps. Using my iPad at the moment. 

One more thing I forgot to mention. sometimes, when I go to edit a post, voiceover reads it as if the edit never happened, even though once I post, the edit comes out fine. It’s like some sort of ghost editing annoying, but only mildly. 

inating again.



[nisa4444]

Hey Internet strangers. I’m kind of hurting right now and need to vent, so I’m just going to scream into the void on Tumblr. I’m super tired, so none of  of this is appropriately vetted.

So I am really struggling to like the world I live in. I know it’s not all bad, and I know that our algorithmically said bad news all the time, but I am just so fundamentally different from everyone else, I feel like. I can’t relate to anyone on the specific things that trigger me, and God does so many things trigger me and so bad. I finished the first season of Vox Machina yesterday, and honestly really loved it, but got so triggered that I’m now crying in my room over my dead pets. Don’t ask me why, I don’t think I’m allowed to tell you.

It’s just, as much as the world can be a beautiful place, sometimes, it’s all feels like it’s just taking, destruction and suppression. Like no one is in touch with our emotions and we’re all too concerned about what we should and shouldn’t be feeling and not how we are feeling. Yes, I’m generalizing, but seriously, I feel so alienated being a person with radically different beliefs, and viewpoints that people find distasteful. I feel like I’m 16 again, the pain of trying to fit in a world that just feels so broken. I feel like I live in some sort of twisted dystopia, and well I try to enjoy it, it can be really hard when Everything around me is taking and destruction. Yes, I know I said that twice. I know it’s not the world’s fault, I am certifiably the twisted and broken one here, and I love that about myself, I just wish the world around me could match the person I am and want to be. I imagine I’m not the only person feeling this way right now, especially being in America and what’s happening with the LGBT community, which I’m also part of being lesbian. I just, I just don’t know what to do with the world. I feel like I’m being forced to just deal with it, and no, I don’t want to kill myself, but I also don’t particularly like having to constantly practically gaslight myself into believing that everything is OK, or at least OK enough for me to continue getting out of bed in the mornings. I’m still dealing with the grief of like my favorite person ever dying recently, so it’s probably why all of this is coming up so bad.

I am a lot stronger now, I now know how to advocate for myself, and  sometimes more importantly, when to shut up. On the other hand, though, I am tired-posting online to the entire Internet of faceless strangers, so maybe I haven’t learned anything at all. I don’t know, is it so much to ask to want just the little corner of the world that I live in to be somewhere I want to exist? Is it too much to ask to not have to constantly fight myself to feel like I have what I need?

OK, that was a lot, but I do feel better getting it all in words and putting it out there. Well, I’m honestly a little bit leery about posting this, but I’m sure it will be fine. I love you guys, stay strong out there!

Also, Tumblr seriously needs to be more accessible. It would not let me edit the second  paragraph at all.

I imagine none of this rambling made any sense, and that’s OK. There’s only so much I feel comfortable saying in front of the world of online strangers, and honestly, I’m a bit leery about posting this. I don’t know, I’m just really really lonely , and want to find some solidarity somewhere.  and before you ask, yes, I am in therapy, a lot of therapy.