kenopsic heart

the green day post is still funny you fucking babies

[metalbatteryzone]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[yepperoni]

i think his funniest tweet is the pic of just the oval office but it has a gamer chair 

[ladyfl4me]

[no-this-is-jarod]

Episode #3 - Busy, Busy Boys! by The Cliff Podcast • A podcast on Anchor

The boys had a busy week! In a more freestyle episode, they discuss Jarod's first week as an intern, Dante's last week at Walmart, new names

episode 3 of my podcast with my best friend came out over the weekend. please give us a listen!

[no-this-is-jarod]

Episode #1 - The Pilot by The Cliff Podcast • A podcast on Anchor

Jarod and Dante discuss sports, places they love to go and places they would never go again. They touch on some controversial topics and dis

i'm back from a long hiatus from tumblr to say that i finally released the pilot episode of my podcast with my best friend dante. go check it out!

[atthepriceofoblivion]

Build-a-Bear Employee: please,,, I can’t fit any more stuffing into this pikachu

Me: You fool….. Make Him Fatter

[mydogisabutt]

i worked at build-a-bear in downtown disney and one time a guest came with a grinch and had me force 6 custom sounds into him which was just him breathing really hard and saying “MERRY CHRISTMAS” into each one the thing is, he had me stuff them into the arms, which were stick-thin so the seams were coming up and i was having to repair his now lumpy grinchy arms this took like 45 minutes and all the while the kid was legit trying to remove my kneecaps, his mom was even telling me that she warned someone this would happen and they sent her straight to me ROFLMAO after he was stuffed to the brim and i could hear the soul of the plush screaming at me for what would be the next eternity the kid dressed him up like batman but his mom was like “NO HE HAS TO BE CHRISTMAS” so he put a santa hat on him and also a little plush gingerbread that smelled like actual gingerbread and it ended up looking like this

i clocked out an hour and a half late it was like 1 am

[squidbroom]

homophobes are not allowed to use computers because the inventor of the computer was gay

[local-chibi-girl]

People think this is just a joke but Alan Turing was the inventor of the computer and his sexuality was illegal in his time (which was not even 100 years ago) and he was arrested. They put him on drugs that destroyed his genius brain and committed suicide a year after being covicted. He was gay and a war hero as well. He helped to break enigma which was a German code that they put all their messages through. He shorted WWII by two years and saved so many lives in the process.

[anticritical-lapis]

Friendly reminder that if not for Alan Turing you wouldn’t be reading this post and we might be ruled by the nazis

[addycted]

The Alan Turing statue on my campus

[beefgameplays-deactivated202105]

wait fuck this is soooooo important always reblog

[garrettauthor]

This made me so fucking angry I have to inflict it on all of you.

[thyrell]

what’s the punchline here

[thyrell]

wait

[thyrell]

[merak-zoran]

I don’t mean to be fake deep or anything but people have a weird definition of work ethic. Work ethic means you do the job that is asked of you, fairly and to the best of your ability. It doesn’t mean sacrificing your health (mental or physical) for a faceless corporation that won’t even remember your name three weeks after you quit. Don’t be a martyr for a job.

[blueteaparty]

Don’t be a martyr for a job that can replace you in less than a week.

[thorffour-deactivated20190920]

Before vs After Adoption

[source]

[monkeysaysficus]

[sheilikhal]

Truthfully the most precious thing I have ever had the privilege to repost.

[occultjackalope]

This makes my heart so happy. ❤️❤️❤️

[rohie-deactivated20191102]

Can y’all believe this…men always have something to say its literally just a picture of the ground

[rxnaissance]

every time!! every single fucking time!!!!

[akawaru]

[tredlocity]

i hate that some sites sell our personal data to corporations. we should cut the middleman and sell them OURSELVES.

[tredlocity]

“Hello, Amazon? Hi, I like garlic bread and Spongebob. That’ll be $20.”

[tastefullyoffensive]

[halles-comet]

Okay now that I’ve finally quit Denny’s let me tell you guys about the bizarre fucking otherworld it is

The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate. Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I’ve never heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version of Let it Go.

Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the repairman said he couldn’t find anything wrong with it.

People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking lot multiple times a week.

It’s open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even happening. 

Regular customers included:

A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate pieces of literature on the subject

A little person named Kevin who told me “sometimes I call myself a dwarf when I’m feeling whimsical”

An actual group of Neo-Nazis

An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)

Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time

A Scottish landscaper who told us we “couldn’t prove he doesn’t know Simon Pegg”

I have more these are just off the top of my head

[halles-comet]

I can’t believe I forgot

two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel is bisexual or not

I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he said “No, I’m not a socialist”.

[deepcried]

[jessica-cohen]

……………….old sport

[melrows]

This is Kjell Lindgren. He’s a NASA astronaut who just got back from 5 months on the International Space Station. There are two reasons why this picture is hilarious:

His wife is flawless and makes bad space puns to make him do household chores.

I have that shirt. Thousands of people have that shirt. That shirt is available at Target. Which means actual astronaut Kjell Lindgren, with his wardrobe already full of NASA-issued and logo-emblazoned clothes, was at Target, saw a NASA shirt, and was like, “Yes, I am buying this because this is what I want to spend my actual astronaut salary on.”

 tl;dr NASA employs a bunch of fucking nerds

[wolfayal]

It gets better.

Courtesy of Wikipedia, here’s the poster NASA released for his mission to the ISS:

[queerlyglittering]

NASA confirmed for a bunch of fucking nerds

[karama9]

*wipes single tear*

They’re just too beautiful.

[systlin]

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. 

NASA personnel are, like, the top nerds. The alpha nerds. The absolute nerdiest nerds. The nerds other nerds look to for nerdspiration. 

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

THIS IS ADORABLES :D

[yet-another-elsanna-victim]

I strongly recommend a visit to the following website (http://spaceflight101.com/iss/iss-expedition-posters/) that has all of them.

Everything started off all vanilla but a Expedition 16 they showed that they were truly Masters of The Dork Side of The Force:

Some other amusing posters they approved:

[midoriko-sama]

Nerdspiration

[suportal-blog]

This week’s current issue in mental health: the price of medication. With numerous people sharing stories about how medication was the first step when they were getting help, we wanted to point out how the cost of these treatments is prohibitive especially for people without insurance.

[betterthanakickintheface]

!!!!!

[resonance-of-libra]

This is the Lucky Ace. Reblog to recieve a wad of cash that is oddly specific to your current needs.

[jukaidream]

I reblogged this shit two days ago y’all… what kinda sorcery is this. Oddly specific too …. I’ll take it tho 🤯

[thisisasinkingship]

I think I did it wrong

[freohrweohnatakausta]

This might be…interesting. though, you gotta admit, the card looks kinda cool.