Hallo.

every story must grow old, still I'll be a traveler.

[oatbee]

[mymodernmet]

31 of the Most Creative Protest Signs From the Global Women’s March

[jackafz]

everyone around me: *gets things done w their life and is making money*

me: 

[musicstills]

-“The city looks so peaceful from up here.” -“Anything is peaceful from 1,353 feet.”

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

[bornandbredginger]

[illinicoise]

me: “I hate country music like I don’t even understand the appeal”

*Dolly Parton starts playing*

me:

[catsnuggler]

February shouldn’t be 28 days, 29 on a leap year. 

Instead, we should take the 31st days off two months and give them to February, making it have 30 days for all years.

But wait, when’s the leap day, you ask? 

October 32nd, Halloween: Part II.

[skykull-deactivated20250930]

you’re the genius this generation needs tbh

[jamiekingismyspiritanimal-deact]

[julian2006]

why do so many men speak to you like they’re giving a ted talk

[ghostguest]

I need a frame of reference here

[julian2006]

go and find the nearest man who’s read one book and talk to him

[loneozner]

me: *waits patiently in a line in a busy establishment with limited employees who can only work so fast

every 40+ person in the vicinity: OHHHHHHH MY GOD THIS IS RI-DIC-U-LOUS why is the space time continuum not being broken to IMMEDIATELY ACCOMODATE me, The Most Important Person In The World,

[surprisebitch]

when the final chorus of Into You drops

[norestfourthewicked]

concept

me, in the year 2040, getting ready for a fancy dinner party, standing in front of my antique gold vanity mirror, wearing a saint laurent f/w 2039 evening gown and cartier diamond earrings, taking a sip of champagne: what did you learn at school today, honey? :-)

my future child, laying on my king-sized bed with burgundy satin sheets: not much, in history we talked about the 2016 election. do you remember any of that?

me: drops my crystalline wineglass

[jayce]

[marisatomay]

If you’re ever somewhere past closing time and an employee says “it’s no problem take your time :)” they’re lying through their fucking teeth it is 100% a Problem and you need to go

[nxtome]

[splashmeadouble]

[bidoof]

The numbers in the football men’s shirts? That’s their power levels. If a level 79 man collides with a level 36 man, the level 36 man WILL explode