Definitely Not a Squirrel

[not-a-squirrel]

Ribbit… for her pleasure 🐸

[sugarmountainspring]

[theehorsepusssy]

[door]

this is great. slowly we will build a house

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[theforsakenprince]

Bet it feels good as fuckkk to rest your hand on the pommel of your sword when the newcomer steps a little too close to your lord who you’ve sworn to protect with your life

[seven-winged-liar]

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

[rosenkranz-isnt-dead]

television peaked here

[rosenkranz-isnt-dead]

and of course, the thrilling sequel

[shittysawtraps]

therapyspeak jigsaw: are you in the right headspace to play a game that could possibly hurt you?

[shittysawtraps]

therapyspeak jigsaw: i’m not your therapist, it’s not my job to explain to you why you’re being lowered into the acid vat

[shittysawtraps]

therapyspeak jigsaw: well now you’re guilt tripping me by screaming for help

[charl0ttan]

"kill them with kindness" FALSE! task manager🧮

[efoxgirl]

Sorry for calling your wedding hetslop

[fairycosmos]

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

[eccentricecologist]

Out of my way, bothersome footnote, I'm about to get it

[dajo42]

i heard in america they love to drive so much that they have a place called Road Island

[threedollarsdotcom]

theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism

[ihopejakeydiesnow]

[silvermoon424]

As an ace this is the only time "you just haven't met the right person yet" has made me laugh lmaoooo

[ozempicofficial]