dig those rhythm and blues - nothingunrealistic - Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson [Archive of Our Own]
Jared doesn’t have the best track record with school dances. Probably because Evan’s always there, and Jared can’t leave well enough alone.
at long last the second and final chapter of this is finished, and you can read the complete saga of jared kalwani having a terrible time at homecoming!
Top 5 songs you want to hear wrol sing, top 5 hopes for lihn, top 5 wishes for billions s5.
top 5 songs i want to hear will sing:
waving through a window & words fail, dear evan hansen (no i won’t choose between them)
gethsemane, jesus christ superstar
is anybody there?, 1776 (and i just want him to play the role)
rose’s turn, gypsy
for forever, dear evan hansen
that’s 6 actually so close enough
top 5 hopes for lihn:
eventual cast recording
it gets great (or at least generally good) reviews
it transfers somewhere (ideally bway or off-bway) and gets a nice long critically acclaimed run
some of the more, uh, repetitive lyrics get rewritten… joe you’ve got great ideas here but “these thoughts are thoughts so dangerous to think” and “i’m supposed to act the way they want me to act but i don’t wanna act that way” are not your best work
…i would like to see it…
top 5 wishes for billions season 5:
we get to see winston regularly and nothing terrible happens to him
winston and taylor finally get to have one-on-one conversations again
winston and ben get to be Friendly at the very least… not that i’d be opposed to the writers giving them a romantic relationship But idk that i’d trust them to write it well or avoid breaking it up for Drama by season’s end
ben gets to tell off axe (and a few of axe cap’s more obnoxious employees) and join mase cap
taylor and lauren stay together, or if they Must break up it’s amicable and not a huge betrayal on one or both sides
odds are good it’s jared and heidi considering that when we do see his instagram posts, the other people in them are heidi and a child who may be jared
also pictured: trees, some kind of files (or maybe old records in sleeves?), various nature vistas, a mysterious dark room (??), the school gym (???)
"That's what I love about all of the characters in the show: we're all raw, even though we might seem archetypal. But we're all very much no
In the script, there are certain things that are left unsaid about the backstory, especially for your character and the relationship with her son. What was your process like, particularly working on that and figuring that out?
I relied a lot on my own experience as a mom and the struggles that a parent goes through. Initially, there was that frustration that it wasn’t spelled out. There was very little scene work before we’d suddenly lost our son. So I had to rely heavily on that before the principal scene where we reveal that we’ve lost him, which is a really hard job. I had to really process the whole thing, what’s going to get me to this moment of grievance, because it’s based on a relationship that Cynthia was completely devoted to, and it isolated her from her family because she and her husband disagreed on how to go about caring for their son, which is another thorn on the rose, because it was destroying their marriage and she was trying to save their son. So all of those things were thought long and heavy about. And now they’re just there, since I have been living with them for three years, and so it’s easier to access.
Did you actually create your own backstory?
Yeah, we all talked about where we’re from, what our lifestyle is like, where Larry and I met. And then we have the memories that were referenced within the show, so we have an idea of what kind of a lifestyle they had. They were never in need of anything. They always had a nice, seemingly perfect life that fell apart as Connor fell apart. And so it was not hard to imagine it because I’ve known those people who seem perfect on the outside and actually have a lot of problems that they don’t share with many people.
How did you balance that with then making Cynthia individual and surprising, but still play to the archetype of the suburban mom?
I think the circumstance is what makes it surprising. We rarely get to see those perfect people in difficult situations. And not only how they handle it in a public manner, but how they handle it within their households. You get to see the dissension between her and Larry, which you would probably never see at a golf outing or a barbecue. You would never see that, because they would never show that. So for that reason, it makes it realistic and human. And that’s what I love about all of the characters in the show: we’re all raw, even though we might seem archetypal. But we’re all very much not. We’re existing in a real reality.
You’ve been with the show for a while. Have you noticed that your relationship to the material has changed over time?
Yeah, it changed because as the show evolved, the scenes that once were very Cynthia-heavy changed to become Larry-heavy or Evan-heavy. And there was this backstory that is still a thread going through the play, but it isn’t being spoken [about] by me. So a lot of what I’m conveying is conveyed in silence and reaction, not with words. That’s the challenge of still telling the story within the story, without having the monologue that was stripped, or the song that was stripped. An entire song became a two-minute scene, but you knew that that two-minute scene enveloped a body of lyrics and thoughts, and so it’s my job to get it all in there. It’s challenging, but I think living with it for so long, it gets easier and easier. And at this point, of course, the show is frozen, so we know exactly where we’re at, what we can hold on to, and what we’ve lost and are allowed to let go of.
—————
When you’re doing a role, do you think of images that relate to the role?
No, not in terms of art, but fashion definitely. Depending on the role, sometimes I prefer to work outside in, because the outside is so very different than who I am. In this situation, it was inside out. But the clothing just sort of was the frosting on the cake. I’m very familiar with the clothes that she wears. I know what they cost, and these are her everyday wear. And it’s not something your average person could afford. And so I would say in terms of art or textiles, it’s that aspect. And music as well, like what music would she listen to? There’s a part of her that wants to feel connected to her son, so she tries to listen to what he listens to. She learns songs on the radio when she’s driving her kids to school because she wants to feel hip, but she still has her roots grounded in Fleetwood Mac and Steely Dan from college. She embarrasses her kids when she knows the words to 21 Pilots or tries to rap with Jay-Z. But she wants to be a part of it all. Some easy listening, maybe Lionel Richie. It’s just the whole gamut, because Cynthia spends a lot of time trying to be every woman. And then within that are the songs that she really loves to listen to, which is probably some Cat Stevens.
hey girls did you know that uhhh “Skeets’s repeated journeys to interview and finally to try to save Floyd recall Orpheus’s failed forays into the underworld to rescue Eurydice. Indeed, our knowledge that Floyd Collins died underground parallels the myth’s suggestion that Eurydice’s fate is preordained, both by the gods and by human nature: Orpheus can retrieve Eurydice only if he resists looking at her, which he’s unable to do.”
relevant to that last post: i’ve always wondered a bit about evan telling zoe that he’s “not going to cry and start breaking things” if she says she’s breaking up with him. the crying part is logical enough, especially since most evans cry quite a lot, but why reassure her that he won’t break anything? is that just part of evan’s mental picture of What People Do When They Get Dumped? has he seen people he knows break things when they’re upset? has he previously done that himself, either accidentally or intentionally?
#on the other hand tho#i could imagine heidi doing that in her worst moments#and instilling it in evans mind
kkamikazed
,,consider: maybe his dad and heidi had a nasty breakup in which his dad might’ve Broke something :’D so he just assumes that that’s a Thing that happens sometimes
bisexual-evanhansen
I’d assume because he knows (either from own experience or zoe telling him) that connor had a tendency to break things when upset, and he assumes that’s connor is zoe’s main frame of reference for Upset Boy, so he’s trying to reassure her
an explanation involving evan’s dad had occurred to me but the others had not… ouch
just remembered 1) this post 2) this paragraph from the novel, after evan returns home from attending connor’s wake
I crumple the note and stare at my wrongly dressed reflection in the mirror. Even if I had known that a suit was the thing to wear, I don’t own one. The last time I wore a suit was at my dad’s wedding and that was a rental. My mom and I flew out to Colorado. She didn’t want to go to the wedding, but I did. I don’t know if she went just for me or if she also wanted to prove to my dad that she had moved on. She certainly didn’t prove it to me. When we got back to the hotel after the reception, she took the heel of her shoe and started hammering it into our picture-frame wedding favor until the carpet was covered with tiny pieces of glass. At the time I thought she just hated picture frames. I was only ten.
as part of my recent taylor trensch kick i also looked up some clips of his performance as moritz in spring awakening, and i was thrilled to learn that his rendition of and then there were none started with him sobbing into his hands and falling to his knees and crumpling in a heap on the floor, which as far as i can tell no other actors were doing in that moment. another taylor original babeyyy
have you ever watched a bootleg of deh with taylor as evan?
yes, kind of. i can tell from my old posts that i must have checked out a video boot of him once or twice, and i know i listened to some audio boots of him back in the day (i listened to a lot of deh audios in 2017-2018), but his portrayal of evan didn’t make much of an impression on me, which means i probably took my standard approach of “skip to all the scenes with jared and/or alana, then tap out after good for you, or you will be found (reprise) if i’m feeling generous,” rather than listening or watching straight through. i’ve been thinking about revisiting his performance as evan, though, as well as intending to check him out in hello dolly, which is honestly more appealing, since i know very little about that show except that he was apparently doing some Weird Inspired Clowning in it.
alright i’ve finished properly watching a bootleg of taylor trensch as evan. my thoughts:
he put his face in his hands whenever he was frustrated or upset and you know what? i ate it up every time.
evan hansen is not really a role that lends itself to Weird Inspired Clowning but somehow he managed it. special mention to the Dating Officially Or Whatever mini-breakdown before only us.
he didn’t sound like ben platt but he Did sound like a teenager having some of the worst months of his life and that's what counts.
I think everyone, every character in Dear Evan Hansen is… sort of damaged, for want of a better word. And they’re very intense individuals, every single one of them. Um, and they all kind of, you know, navigate their way through this grief, or this loneliness, in their own, in their own kind of way. And I think Jared is literally one rung above Evan in the social ladder, really, you know. He hasn’t got any friends, he’s as lonely as Evan is. He just has a couple more defense mechanisms to kind of hide and shield himself from the, the loneliness of being a high school teenager in Middle America. Um, and so I kind of, I try my best to kind of play him as, you know, as broken as Evan is, but just, he’s got the comedy, he’s got the sarcasm, to the, you know, the sardonic way of kind of skipping through. And it’s obviously protected him from becoming Evan, who doesn’t have those defense mechanisms, really. So I tried my best to try and make him as much as, uh, a kind of full-bodied — because of course he is the funny guy, and of course he thinks, you know, he’s, his way of looking at Evan is a way of going, “Well, at least I’m better than you.”
they're just so bad for each other,,,, in the funniest way possible...like hey man my friend who i only hang out with to have my parents pay for my car insurance...do you wanna go to my house and get blackout drunk...for funsies...definitely no homoerotic subtext here,,,sure of course I'll help you write fake emails pretending to be a kid who killed himself...uhhhhhh for twenty dollars though...obviously there is no possible way this could ever blow up in my face,,, and of course I'll laugh and joke about how gay the concept of a secret email account if but look man actually why are you so fucking defensive about it? are you homophobic?? there's nothing wrong with two guys being in a relationship,,, and of course then when i feel that i friend of the year am being pushed out of your life for a fake idealized version of this dead kid who now everyone thinks is your best friend INSTEAD of me (even though i would never admit it out loud) i will then attempt to insert myself into the aforementioned homoerotic friendship. yes i too was always here. no??? uh okay fine but uh like just don't read into anything i just did or said.
he's weirdly caring. in like the meanest way possible. like you fucking freak oh my gosh jared just tell him you like him you fucking loserrrrrr. he fully gets evan into the situation he's in. but then evan escalates it. and because jared is pathetic and matches evan's freak to a level that is unmatched is like...i can do emails...HE HASN'T EVEN ASKED YOU!!!! JARED YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS!!!! ASK HIM OUT ON A DATE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???????
funniest thing ever to me is evan building his life around and falling in love with this idealized version of friendship, this idealized version of connor, this idealized version has of life. of what life might be like when you're not depressed and people care about you. and pushing jared away because of it. oh you mean the idea of friendship and connection that you created...with jared...the idea of the guy built off the combined efforts of...you and jared...hmmm. evan have we maybe stopped to consider that the one person you might actually want to take an interest in your life is the one guy you are actively pushing away??? no??? of course not.
