Not.Loch.Ness @notlochness - Tumblr Blog

gameraboy

Jurassic Cookie

teoami

my life is better because of this. thank you

ithelpstodream

purplemonkfish-deactivated20190

If I could rise up and applaud I would. THIS! fucking THIS.

You know what bullied people do? they take it out on themselves. They go home and hang themselves, they don’t pick up a gun and think “i’ll show them!”, that’s anger, entitlement, resentment. That’s not bullying doing it, that’s being a fucking asshole.

the last shooting? He killed that girl because she fucking dumped him. How, just HOW is that not fucking entitlement right there?

tzikeh

“White men from prosperous families grow up with the expectation that our voices will be heard. We expect politicians and professors to listen to us and respond to our concerns. We expect public solutions to our problems. And when we’re hurting, the discrepancy between what we’ve been led to believe is our birthright and what we feel we’re receiving in terms of attention can be bewildering and infuriating. Every killer makes his pain another’s problem. But only those who’ve marinated in privilege can conclude that their private pain is the entire world’s problem with which to deal. This is why, while men of all races and classes murder their intimate partners, it is privileged young white dudes who are by far the likeliest to shoot up schools and movie theaters.”

– Why Most Mass Murderers Are Privileged White Men

sandandglass

Professor Stephen Hawking believes Zayn might still be in One Direction - in a different universe

unicornempire

I feel like this captures the true spirit of what it means to accept women. It would not have been hard for a guy to make a joke at teenage girls’ expense, we see it in our culture everywhere. Whatever teenage girls love is mocked endlessly, and it’s only very recently people have started pointing it out. Stephen Hawking took the opportunity to tell a joke and use it to not only encourage those girls to pursue science, but also to encourage what they already love and show his acceptance that it’s okay to love and enjoy that thing in a positive way. It’s such a small, but huge thing all at once, and I adore it.

savleighm

thenatsdorf

View this post on Instagram

”Hmmm?” (unmute for necessary audio, please)

crazyexedits

notlochness

#relatable

Does anyone else sulk when people call you by your full name and not your nickname?

I genuinely forget my name isn’t actually Ness and I feel like I’m being insulted when people call me Vanessa.

#thats not my name #nicknames #i hate my name

teashoesandhair

A sitcom about the modern Greek gods where everyone is wildly miscast

Zeus is played by Michael Cera

dasfeministmermaid

😂😂😂😂 Hephaestus is Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

teashoesandhair

@seerofbirds has cast Danny DeVito as Aphrodite and @qrowxiii has cast Eddie Murphy as Ares, so this is shaping up to be a pretty great TV pitch and if anyone from Hollywood is reading this, could you also consider casting Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson as Hermes and Christopher Walken as Apollo, thanks.

teashoesandhair

Hera is Oscar Isaac because are you really going to cheat on Oscar Isaac, Michael Cera? Really? You’d do that? You’d look at that man’s face and chase tail somewhere else, Michael Cera, you sack of shit?

angelicfangirl

I’m dying this is fantastic I NEED THE WHOLE CAST

teashoesandhair

Hades is Whoopi Goldberg and Persephone is Jeff Goldblum and Demeter is Julie Andrews. Their interplay makes up 70% of the film and is all improvised.

Athena is played by Amy Schumer (thanks anon!) and she defeats her enemies by being incredibly loud and annoying and plagiarising all their tactics and eventually they just give up in irritation. She only has 3 minutes of screen time and no dialogue. Thank fuck.

Heracles is played by Jesse Eisenberg because Michael Cera got to be Zeus. Sometimes they swap roles. No-one notices.

Poseidon is played by Daniel Craig but his only scene is when he reenacts the famous Bond scene with speedos.

teashoesandhair

Artemis is played by Robert Pattinson and all his lines are just slightly amended from Twilight. Dionysus is played by Helen Mirren. It is perhaps the only apt casting in the film.

teashoesandhair

To clarify, Hestia is absolutely played by Charles Dance, whose costume includes an apron which gets progressively dirtier throughout the series.

In the sitcom, which precedes the feature film and which focuses on certain myths every episode, Narcissus is played by John Goodman. Echo is played by Billy Crystal.

Other episodes include the story of Eros and Psyche, played respectively by Jane Fonda and Shirley MacLaine, the story of Daedalus and Icarus, played respectively by Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern, and the story of Zeus overthrowing Cronus, in which Michael Cera as Zeus must defeat Cronus, as played by John Cena, in a battle of wits and muscle. Astonishingly, he wins.

i-can-do-tricks

this is all very good gud

but who is perseus and medusa? jason , Midas, circe, media, please I NEED TO KNOW

teashoesandhair

These are very important questions and I will answer them immediately.

Perseus and Medusa are played by Andy Samberg and Glenn Howerton. All their scenes together are just them one upping each other with improvised insults.

Jason and Medea are played by John Boyega and Meryl Streep, and all their scenes are so beautifully acted that they both get nominated for Oscars, despite the fact that one of Jason’s lines is “are you trying to fleece me out of the golden fleece?”, to which Medea replies “me, fleece you? Oh no, me dear.”

Midas is played by Steve Buscemi, obviously. For no discernible reason, everything he touches does not turn to gold, but copper alloy. This is possibly due to budget cuts. Due to their on screen chemistry, he bizarrely has several buddy cop style scenes with Jeff Goldblum’s Persephone.

Circe does not appear. If she did, she would be played by Audrey Hepburn, using that creepy CGI from the Galaxy adverts, but her estate refuse to give their permission.

teashoesandhair

Important updates:

(Anonymous suggests: Kelsey Asbille Chow playing Achilles, Michelle Obama is Thetis, Danny Trejo as Helen, Terry Crewes as Paris, and Adrien Brody as Hector. olvmpos says: Ganymede is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and regularly benchpresses Michael Cera.)

giantsnakesextape

Hey @teashoesandhair I’m not saying that I felt inspired and sketched Whoopi Goldberg and Jeff Goldblum as Hades and Persephone but that’s exactly what I’m saying

teashoesandhair

OH GOD THIS IS PERFECTION. THANK YOU. JUST THANK YOU. PHENOMENAL.

giantsnakesextape

YOU’RE WELCOME BUT ALSO PLEASE HELP COS I CAN’T STOP

teashoesandhair

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE POSTER FOR THE SERIES, YOU HEAR ME

teashoesandhair

I’m mad that people are just reblogging the first post here because YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON THE MOST INCREDIBLE ARTWORK YOU’LL EVER SEE

agentmarymargaretskitz

I’M HOWLING WE NEED THIS

sylvanheather

This is a riot! 🤣 LOVE the artwork!! ❤❤

random-stuff-thrown-into-a-pot

BUT WHERE DOES WOODY HARRELSON FIT INTO THIS

also that art is as close to perfection as you get, but don’t tell Aphrodite, she’d be jealous

teashoesandhair

WOODY HARRELSON IS IO AND I WON’T HEAR A WORD SAID AGAINST IT

musicforyourplants

boy-matt-deactivated20181204

*slams reblog*

ariesaav

Klezmer dolphins.

willcub-deactivated20180521

I don’t know that I’ve reblogged anything faster in my entire tumblr life.

deadwithoutdata

The one dancing and flailing at the end

fluffytherapy

Moms and Mini Mes.

nomtheburritos

The happiest “I made these” smiles on the planet

bonbonlanguage

You know what I think is really cool about language (English in this case)? It’s the way you can express “I don’t know” without opening your mouth. All you have to do is hum a low note, a high note, then another lower note. The same goes for yes and no. Does anyone know what this is called?

rk8con

suspendnodisbelief

These are called vocables, a form of non-lexical utterance - that is, wordlike sounds that aren’t strictly words, have flexible meaning depending on context, and reflect the speakers emotional reaction to the context rather than stating something specific. They also include uh-oh! (that’s not good!), uh-huh and mm-hmm (yes), uhn-uhn (no), huh? (what?), huh… (oh, I see…), hmmn… (I wonder… / maybe…), awww! (that’s cute!), aww… (darn it…), um? (excuse me; that doesn’t seem right?), ugh and guh (expressions of alarm, disgust, or sympathy toward somebody else’s displeasure or distress), etc.

Every natural human language has at least a few vocables in it, and filler words like “um” and “erm” are also part of this overall class of utterances. Technically “vocable” itself refers to a wider category of utterances, but these types of sounds are the ones most frequently being referred to, when the word is used.

classicfern

Reblog if u just hummed all of these out loud as you read them

gerriceo

Happy Birthday Carrie Fisher! [B. October 21st, 1956-∞]

“When I love, I love for miles and miles. A love so big it should either be outlawed or it should have a capital and its own currency.” - Carrie Fisher