Hey! I’m alive! I haven’t posted since 2021 and not actively since like 2017… so I kept my handle “2k16” for posterity’s sake. But I’ve been lurking my own blog pretty hard recently. I have a lot of posts tagged really-really specifically so I’ve been able to basically read life stories over again - archived via tags of people’s initials and specific keywords like “personal” - staring back at my own face under “GPOY”. A lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same.
I think the strangest thing is coming back here and seeing posts from 2010-2014 and reading my own “advice” or opinions on things and seeing where I really got lost. I’m willing to admit that I got really, really lost. I had a great perspective but no visibility or clarity into my own path of life or what I wanted or needed. I mean, I was 17-24/25? My brother is turning 24 in a few weeks (insane how time flies) and he’s chilling - not committing to shit. What was I doing here waxing poetic about the “rest of my life” when I’m six years older now like “maybe let’s just straight up chill and see what happens.” Ohhh the absolute power I would have had if I had this perspective back then.
Luckily, I’ve been able to build up reinforcements that have helped me better define my boundaries and needs. But I’m also willing to admit that I miss a lot of people I unfortunately - basically - ghosted and/or bullied out of my life. I still think about and care about them and I hope they may see this message one day(?). I think deep down we both know that my aggressive reactive behavior from that time comes from being hurt as hell and how I was raised. Definitely not an excuse! I deserved to be deserted. Everyone I’ve “lost” seems fine and I’m not thinking I’ve critically ruined anyone’s life. If I could apologize without it being totally kind of inappropriate now I would lol. But if I ever see someone that falls in this category in-person I’m not going to act like you’re a stranger! Also it’s never too late! I may be 31, live in Oregon (what the actual fuck?), have three pets now (not surprising), and a whole husband (potentially more surprising lol) but I’m generally the same person I have always been.
I’m pretty active on Instagram still, and lurk TikTok like it’s my job (sorry, tumblr, you really fucked yourself a while back…), so maybe I’ll see you over there some time :) My number has also never changed!
Anyway, this is my check-in from 2024!
💜 Natalie
